Brother Alex's initiation to the Open Hearts Orphanage

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 5:37 pm

We have a willing and able orphanage lad who is ready to be made a member of the "Open Hearts Orphanage"

The lad - brother Alex, from Adibjan and willing to help open the orphanages first African expansion.
Andrew Bauer - Operated by Partyworm with close support from JasonSC

After I had fought through the script here we are -

Brother Alex to Andrew

Quote:

In Christ,
We are really happy to know that you are with us and we can count on you, for that we thank you again for this collaboration that you bring us.
That being the case, we are ready to work with you by all means and we need a lot of confidence from you.
So can we count on you?
Waiting for a favorable response we say a big thank you ....
God bless you

Andrew responds

Quote:

Dear Brother Alex,

I am really delighted to bring about such a wonderful collaboration and the elders will be delighted at this development.
It really is in the hearts of these orphans that we speed up our collaboration to Africa.

I am sure that you understand, as a non-profit organisation we really must budget. Firstly, I would love to know a bit more about where you operate and what you propose for the future of "Open Heart Orphanage?"
It is very important that we bring in new and innovative ideas.

God is sprinkling you with his golden shower!

Andrew Bauer

Paster Alex to Andrew

Quote:

Brother in Christ,
We are really proud to collaborate with you, so we are based in Abidjan 'Ivory Coast) in West Africa and we are really impressed by this collaboration that we are looking forward to, so what country are you from and instantly can you you offer us financial help very quickly?
God bless you

Andrew hints that this might not be as quick as he thinks!

Quote:

Brother Alex,

I do hope I can release the funds to you most quickly because the elders know how much I have been desperate for an African expansion.
Currently, we have scraped together $13,643 (as I read our account statement now) to fund our expansion into Africa. We have trained the little darlings to refrain from all non-essential food such as breakfast. Hopefully these costs should cover the purchase of land and building of the orphanage.

I would gladly release these funds to you immediately, however it would mean becoming an official member of Open Hearts Orphanage which would seek the approval of the elders. Would this be something of interest to you and I can nominate you to stage one of the induction process?

Thanking you most sincerely in advance,
Andrew Bauer

Brother Alex throws his MG mule into the ring

Quote:

In Christ,
We really appreciate all this help, but please, we urgently need financial help to save all these children by giving them food, medicine and clothes, so could you ship 3000 dollars to the reception this letter to the address below?
God bless you!!!

Western UNION Mailing Address:
AKRE
RICHARD ALEX
11 BP 1443 ABIDJAN 11
ABIDJAN, IVORY COAST
AMOUNT: $ 5000 Dollars of course

NB: Please send us a copy received by email.

Andrew tells brother Alex to slow the heck down

Quote:

Brother Alex,

As I explained in my previous emails. Currently I have saved over $13,000 to build our African expansion, However, we do not authorise transfers outside of the organisation. Therefore, for me to provide you with the full amount it will require you to become a full member of the orphanage. Specifically, I would like to nominate you as the director of our first African orphanage.

As full members of the orphanage, you will also be able to make any cash withdrawals to help the orphans upon request.
The next council meeting amongst the elders is due to be made later tonight. Should I nominate you for our very short screening procedure?

May god continue to sprinkle on you always
Andrew Bauer

Quote:

brother,
While I am willing to do all that is good for these orphans we have, I am willing to follow you on the march that will result in making all these children smile, so tell me which country are you? could I have the possibility before the end of this month to come and meet you at your premises and that at your expense?
May God enter your spirits so that you can make a financial gesture to us that will help us to take food for the children in a row because we really need it.
God bless you!!!!

I would love to have an experienced orphanage/charity baiter onboard to help steer this promising bait in the right direction as we take brother @lex through the process of joining Open Hearts Orphanage and inflict (hopefully) maximum pain on him. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:11 pm

There is really no need to leet the name Alex. If a lad chose to search for the term "Alex" or "Brother Alex," they would probably find links to Alex P. Keaton or Alex from Big Brother Naija before finding Eater. If you are super-concerned over it, simply post here changing "Alex" to "Al" or "Joe," or "Mac," or "somebody."

Best of luck with the bait.

ETA: It's much more likely the lad will search the name "Andrew Bauer" or that of the orphanage before looking up the first name of their own character.

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:24 pm

Thanks! Changed it.

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:32 pm

I love the “God is sprinkling you with his golden showers” line. Did you copy that from the Turd bait? I’m available to help out at some point if you want in a week or two. Good luck!

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:51 pm

Funnily enough I just made that up on the spot to see how stupid the lad is. Apparently the answer to that is "very".

so my plan moving forward is - the "elders" are considering him for acceptance onto stage 1 (stalling whilst I find someone who can help). For stage one I am hoping to make him fill in some forms so if anyone has any good ones from a previous charity bait or any other creative ideas this would be good. I do, admittedly, need some guidance on this as I was not expecting him to go this far. Very Happy

It would be great to have whatever assistance you can lend Mrmystery. drop me a PM when you are free and I am sure we can find a way to work you in Very Happy

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2018 1:55 am

Nice.

He needs to make a video of a ritual invoking the Supreme Grand or whatever deity you have. in it he may need to put milk on his head and apply honey to his chest, or something.

And there are some great forms around. The ones with psychological evaluations are the funniest.

One thing, do you know where he is? He might be induced to travel to meet you somewhere. If you search for the 5imba safari odality in Helps and Tips, I have the keys to that modality and you might be able to get him to travel to meet you.

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2018 9:56 am

^Hahahaha the milk and honey one is funny.

I suggested making it necessary to express your spiritual journey of open hearts by travelling to a different culture, where partyworm could meet him for the final ritual.

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:04 pm

I checked my inbox today and low and behold - brother Alex has returned the forms to me! I am thrilled.

However, that happy face turned immediately to a sad face once I saw the absolute lack of effort Sad

However, as the "elders", what do you all think?

Should Pastor Alex be allowed to stage 2 or will he get slapped for being a lazy lad?

(having trouble uploading the photos as images using the code so if a mod could fix it that would be great!)

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:14 pm

The images exceed 600 pixels in width and will cause blow out on the page.
See this for more information about posting pics on the forum: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=17488

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:16 pm

Sorted it! Thanks!

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:24 pm

Definitely too lazy. Only handwritten forms are accepted of course. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:36 am

Brother Andrew tells Alex to do it again.

Quote:

Dear Brother Alex,

Upon receipt of your form I presented it immediately at our next council of elders meeting last night.
I hate to tell you the bad news but when you receive orphans daily and evict them when they are 18, you must know this feeling too.

Unfortunately, whilst brother Jason clearly had drunk too much "blood of christ", the other elders commented how questions 5 and 10 clearly state that you must "draw" both the happy orphan and the picture of the ideal orphanage. Also, question 8 relating to community outreach was not properly completed. The elders were using this question to measure your charitable nature and wanted to know an activity that you would be happy running to raise money for the local community.

Finally, the elders noticed how you have very low expectations of what funds to recieve. Once they have your full support we will be directing 50% of our orphanage grants to you.

Sometimes, in the words of Mother Theresa, you must "get through the paperwork in order to unlock the cash subsidy underneath."

I have therefore reattached the forms for you to complete

As ever, god is dropping his golden bricks on you to build this orphanage and sprinkling you with his shower of knowledge.

Brother Andrew

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:10 pm

Apropos of nothing in particular; why not offer to have Alex immortalised in the specialist wing of the orphanage's medical centre - the Open Hearts Surgery?

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:17 pm

^I have a slight fear that brother jason has an alcohol abuse that can only be paid for by making donated hearts from that particular division of the orphanarium available on the market for potential buyers.

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:32 pm

If brother Alex replies with the drawn images theres definitely some shenanigans going on later in this bait Very Happy

I have a confession... I was definitely considering some sort of organ-harvesting twist. Getting brother Alex to oversee the transportation of orphans to Africa to eventually harvest their organs to fuel brother Jason's alcoholism is my goal.

Next up for stage 2 we make the lad go into the local community dressed as cupid handing out free candy would be a good direction. The elders will love this Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2018 10:40 am

partyworm wrote:

I have a confession... I was definitely considering some sort of organ-harvesting twist. Getting brother Alex to oversee the transportation of orphans to Africa to eventually harvest their organs to fuel brother Jason's alcoholism is my goal.

If Alex agrees to that, it would be something else to add to the list of why we hate Lads.

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 3:21 pm

After days of waiting for brother Alex to fill-in the forms by hand. Andrew receives some concerning news from the African orphanage:

Quote:

Brother,
A thousand excuses for all these unanswered times on our part it's just that we have an epidemic problem with the water that was not clean so we had to send children to the hospital and five of among them died while the rest of the infected children are still in intensive care, so by the grace of God help us save those who are still alive.
God bless you

Whilst this really pulls at the heart-strings of Andrew. He realises that standard are kept for a reason in the orphanage and they MUST provide the hand-written documents...!

Quote:

Brother Alex,

I am shocked and upset to hear the news. Once you complete the form by hand-writing the answers and drawing in the pictures it will then be possible to move forward with helping the unfortunate case.
I wish I could help you now but the elders will only let money be transferred to members of the orphanage, which you are currently embarking upon.

I have reattached the forms and look forward to them being completed by hand and filled in.
In the meantime, if you send me over the bank account details I can try to authorise $100 to be sent over to you? However, I can only confirm this properly once you have completed the forms as requested, properly.

Best Regards,
Andrew Bauer

I smell pork!

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:24 pm

I am baiting this Mumu Lad as well.

He has been always very very lazy but he doesn't give up easily.

Tonight I will meet him at the airport in Abidjan...

Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:44 pm

He is a funny little creature isnt he Very Happy

And yes very very lazy.

Also you can talk utter rubbish to him and he will accept it. He is hilariously stupid.

Brother Alex's initiation to the Open Hearts Orphanage	View next topic View previous topic