The pen pal from hell - goat talk back atcha

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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:55 pm

Okay - time to dip my toes in the water. I have a long running bait in progress but I don't know how interesting it'll be, so I thought I'd begin my posting life with a wild one I have just begun - inspired by the pain I suffer from reading some of their 'goat talk' e-mails.

I'm a a Russian sex kitten (not really) and he's just a guy (DavidMugu) looking for a friend. Here goes - and any ideas would be welcomed as this is kinda wild and wacky - no clue where it's going:-

DavidMugu to me

Quote:

Hi,
Happy New Year to you and how is life generally, I am writting with hope that this e-mail will find you in good emotional condition.
I am from Ghana, West Africa, 28 year old and single. I believe that race, religion and nationality can give no hindrance to friendship or penpal relation, as it is one of the best ways to exchange ideas with people in different countries.
If you have accepted me as your pal, please write me back without delay. We have a lot to discuss please.
I will like to hear from you soonest.
Thanks,

What have we here - innocent lad looking for friendship or a sweetheart scammer ? I rolled the dice, and having suffered a recent 'goat talk' e-mail I decided to try a little myself.

Russian Sex Kitten (me) to DavidMugu

Quote:

Allo

I is Xxxxxx from Russia Sovietska. Is very col right now but my famil is good and keeps all good becorz dad workz for Ministry. Is lonley for girl hear in Kountry bit I lern lagwidje good to speek to peeples and have fun - yoo undersatand - No ?

Tell me abowt yurself David. Is hot wear yu are ? Is cold hear wiz sno all ova, but we have lotz of heeting. Ure famil is good I howp ? Ihave Mom, dadda and bruzzer and we hav a rayndeer too.

Hope yo lyke wot yo heer from me - Good ?

Okay, okay, I'm pushing the boundaries I know, but I get pretty peeved having to translate 'goat talk' e-mails and I was feeling kinda spikey and evil.

DavidMugu to Russian Sex Kitten (me)

Quote:

Dear Xxxxxxx

I am very happy for your prompt reply to my email. Very nice to accept me
for friendship. When I was browsing in Internet and saw your contact, I just
believed that we can be friends.

I attached my picture for your perusal. I can be reached on +233 xxxxxxx.
I will also like to have your phone number.

I have been in the Refugee Camp here in Ghana for complete 2 years. I
decided to stay here just for security purpose.

BLA BLA BLA BLA trunk box (evil thought of comic misinterpretation occurs to me)

Still I can not handle this transaction alone
due to my present situation. Besides, now I have gotten you as friend, I
will like you to assist me retrieve the box from the company and also help
me migrate to your country. It is my desire to come to your country and
establish there forever.

Please write me back as soon as possible and inform me of your decision.

Your friend,
David

and I thought I got my first trophy as a gimme
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=97807

Okay - I don't suppose he really bothered to read my e-mail is what you'll say, and I guess that's right. What I'll do next is try to say something that IS of interest to him, and check if he picks THAT up, and of course throw in some pretty weird crap at the same time. It may be short, but it should be fun.

Well - this is the big one. I have to make him pay attention and see I have money - and get his fluxxing picture. Many thanks to those who pointed out he scammed me. He'll pay for that.

Russian Sex Kitten (me) to DavidMugu

Quote:

Hi Davd

Lovd to heer from yu agen. My Dadz bying me apartmeant in sitee now I am lef scool. Reel nise playce with room for gests cum vist me ? Dadz job gets him good munny and apartmeant verry much - $250,000 but I wos hed cheer girl for skol and Dadz verry pleesed with girl. No good clevver but nys legz. Dadz get me BMW so I vizit to him wen I liv citee. Meny boyz in sitee. Doo yoo havve gurl in camp David ?

Xxxxxx veree sad your pykcher woz emptee. I lyke send you my pyktcher is with male but no if you no send me yors I know lyke yu. I havv long whyte hear lyke meny girls heer. I bet yu lyke that. i downt meean tees but yu muss send pikkcher. I send yu bak emptee pikttcher - no good for me. Send piktcher sez with hold luv nwt - Xxxxxx my gurl - then I be yur gurl.

Englitz iss verra hard fur me - sorra for thiss. I is sadd yu havv hard tyme. Mayks gurl sad and yu wann cuddl. Assassin is hard wurd - my diktionary sayz they kill yu, but yu say money in - TRUNK - my diktionary sez is underpants. Yu explique underpants. I help yu sure, but I don now underpantz. u send piktcher in underpants ? Pleez help me. I send yu piktcher yu missing and me piktcher. Yu send me you picktcher wiz nowt for Xxxxxxx.

Yu need hepl I gives yu help. Tell Xxxxxxx to do waht.

Speek yu sonn Davd BiBi

By all means tell me if I am right wrong or useless, but I'm having fun anyway - and if it works I'm gonna love doing this to a few more mugus.

My everlasting thanks to Repro8 for his disappearing mugu work on the picture - a lovely job and it is sure to make him wonder if he suffering some evil spell - but it allows me to go for piccy again. Yayyyyyy

Courtesy of Repro8 - mucho respect

Courtesy of Anna - mucho mumbo

Okay - no reply, which is a darned shame. I just love this modality and I'm not going to give up on it, in any way shape or form. This girl's a winner and a fighter. With her I can hit above or below the belt and deliver painful head shots too. - ROUND TWO

Quote:

SUBJECT - Yor Ludmilla in swimweer fotographia Let's make sure he at least opens the e-mail - and finds the picture file is corrupted

Hello Davd

Hopes all is fyne with yo. dadz woz cryed wen he lef me in big appart ment for me aloan liv and I is cryyd too, and now yu no send me male and I verra sad even wen all is best of my lyfe. You won fren and tell me how much yo lyke fren and wen yo see my piktchewr yo hayte me. It mayke me cry now - sorrra. Am I so uglee dat you wont speek me ? If yu cheeter boy I don wan hav yu as my fren. A Nijeriansk boy sez Ghnana boyz cheet, and he sent me piktcher of him and he is kyut but I down now if he onesst. Mebbe all boyz ly, but he sends me piktchewer show card hold he is Ludmillas boifrens and mayke me feels good. If yu canm do sayme I can no be gurfren of yors. Wen he dun piktchewer he sez wan haff gold neeklayse from mi kard. he sez all Nyjerian boyz get neklayse from girl this wai. This troo Davd ? Iss cost a lot, neer $ 2,240 but Dadz giv me Amex Kard and lots munney for kredit. am so lownlee heer now dadz is gonn. I lyke us speek an I send you speshle picktewer me in swimm stuff. If you make me uglle I too shaymed to speek yu agen, and I cri all nyte and will hayte Gana boyz as cheeters.

I don won hayte you davd, I now you reely onest - may bee shi - and Luddy is not clev gurl, but am fun for evthing, and if you bee mi boy I mayk yu hapst, I promiss. My Dadz is verra jeneruss and if yu mayke me happis he make you happis to. Down makst mi crys agen davd.

If yu speeks me I tell yu alls abowt Sverdlovsk tings and mi lyfe here

BiBi Luddy

pss I sawe in dyktshunaree trunk iiss undnerpontz but trunk box is diffrunt - sost davd it maykes me laff to mayke mystayk. Down won yu bee assasind evn if yu hayte me bad.

If no reply it's one more e-mail tomorrow and then time to skype up at the weekend. My girl deserves full effort for any lad who won't play footsy. It'll' be my first skype - if I can get it to work, and I'll play her enraged Dadz. Getting pessimistic. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:16 am

Too much for him I guess. I hit him with a few more mails using every tactic in the book to try to persuade and goad him and ended up delivering this back hand slap. He probably won't read it, but I stay in character and try to spook him over the picture.

Quote:

I wont speek you agin as I now whot bad person yu are. My Nijjerian boyfren makes me so happs I dont now whi I spokes to yu at all. He says bad things bout Ghana boys. Dont now if tru. I cant say some of things he says - verra rood and bad but he says you lykes other boyz moor.

Well, that makes girl undstand wy yu so bad. I went Church Orthodox Sovietska, the biiggst Church in world and aksed them to curse you bad. You no more get any girl or boy, if boy is whots you likes best, and you nevr have babee. Thay tell me your piktchewer is bad evil thing and I shuld burn it. They tells girl yu cursed anyway with no piktchewer face. So I burnd it and no moor cri for yu.

Wen I am big model and yu see my fase you now wot yu lost. I let yu shyne my boots sumday and I spit on your soks.

Don speek me agen Cheeter Boy.

I am now running this personna in a more user friendly manner, and it is proving more successful that way. As for now this bait is CRASH & BURN Sad

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

You live and learn; plenty more love sick mugus out there. Probably not enough $ signs to pay him for the pain of reading those emails.

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