SMOKIN'

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I got so sick of these jerks that I chose to get gamy with them. In doing so, I broke my first rule to never reply. I just couldn�t help myself. Following is what I have been sending back as a reply for about a year, which is in addition to my SPAMCOP and BLUE FROG reporting�s. Feel free to use it or variations if you like;

Twisted Evil

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Hello Mr. xxxxxxx,
For your information, we already know who you are and we know where you live. Just like the others of your ilk (Business manager, Comptroller, Barrister, Wife, Brother, Son, Daughter or whatever you call yourself) perpetrating the infamous Nigerian 419 scam. Be prepared, we are in route to get you. Just like many other scumbags we have exterminated, you are now on our hit list to be tracked down and rounded up by our international mercenaries.

Soon after you are apprehended you will be transported to one of our facilities. In your case, you will be confined to a cell with Bubba. Bubba is a big disgusting (usually unwashed) man that will entertain you by fucking you up your ass and down your throat. This indoctrination only lasts a couple of weeks or until Bubba gets tired of you. However, at this point you are then escorted out to the "courtyard" by a group of our newer vigilantes. In the courtyard there is this larger-than-life metal statue of a raging bull; very similar to the Wall Street statue in New York City. This bronze statue is hollow and has a trap door just large enough for a person to get placed inside. The only ventilation after the trap door is closed is through the bull's open nostrils.

Prior to being placed in side you will be stripped naked. If it's summer you won't mind it too much. If its winter, not only is it cold, but some of your predecessors have had their skin stick to the frozen metal as they were assisted through the trap door. As we are always on a schedule, you will be shoved inside even though sections of your skin may get ripped off in the process. But now comes the horrifying part....

Fire wood and other combustibles are placed under the bull and ignited. One can only imagine what you will go through while flailing around inside to avoid touching the metal surface of this giant cooker as it gets hotter and hotter. I'm told by observers that the agonizing and excruciating pain of your predecessors being fried to death is quite lengthy. It is also noisy from the mixture of your screams, the sizzling and boiling noises your body makes and the cheers from the vigilantes as smoke from your roasting body emits from the bull's nostrils.

We are anxiously looking forward to making you acquaintance.

Best Regards,
The 419 Executioners
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