Barrister Brown Goes Down

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Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 5:59 pm

Barrince Brown wrote:

This is to inform you of your long overdue outstanding Payment in our records. We saw your email address in our Central Computer unit among the list of unpaid individuals.
Your email appeared among the beneficiaries who will receive a part-payment of their overdue fund, Credited into Online Bank ATM Card account which has already been approved months ago.

However, we received an email from one (Mrs.Judith McCree) who claims to be your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last four months. She has also submitted her contact information's to the
department in charge of your ATM Card as your inheritor. We therefore wish to verify the authenticity of her claim before we proceed with the delivery of this ATM CARD to her.

In order to resolve this problem, Please contact (Atm Counsellor Office) immediately with your complete information as below for the delivery of your ATM Card.

Your Full Names: _____________
Contact Address: _____________
Mobile Phone: _____________
Occupation: _____________
Age: _____________

Best regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
Congratulations.

My character promptly replied.

Francois wrote:

Could you please explain it a little better, though?

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

I am in receipt of your message with reference to your compensation ATM DEBIT VISA CARD Usd$700,000.00 (Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) only which was entrusted under my care by He has directed me to send the ATM DEBIT VISA CARD to you once you compliment on his message by responding to me.

However, I was mandated to send the ATM DEBIT VISA CARD only through an organized diplomatic delivery as the only safer means. In case if you can come down to pick it up yourself then below is my address(
Head Office: U. B. A. House, 57, Marina, P. O. Box 2406, Lagos. Nigeria). You can call me on +234-<SNIPPED> if you have any question or suggestion.

The ATM Card is Inter-Switched ATM Card and powered by VISA Card International withdrawal limit is $7,000 per day.

Value in card, $700,000.00 USD (Seven hundred Thousand United State Dollars) only as part payment funds owns (Seven hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only) you are free to withdraw your funds at any ATM Machine Cash point all over the world.

Endeavor to confirm to us that you have received this important notice by Call or reply email as we are waiting

Then, in the alternative, if you cannot afford to come over here, then I will use Courier Service to deliver it to your home address. So make your choice and get back to me as soon as possible. I will be waiting for your response through email or call me on +234-<SNIPPED>.

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Francois wrote:

So what's the next step?

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

In case if you can come down to pick it up by yourself then below is my address( Head Office: U. B. A. House, 57, Marina, P. O. Box 2406, Lagos. Nigeria). You can call me on +234-<SNIPPED> if you have any question or suggestion.

in the alternative, if you cannot afford to come over here, then I will use Courier Service to deliver it to your home address. So make your choice and get back to me as soon as possible

Do not forget to furnish us with your current address,such as,your name,Age,Occupation,House address and Country to avoid wrong delivery

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Francois wrote:

But you have my name.

My address is <Fake canadian address from www.fakeaddressgenerator.com >
Occupation: Actor.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Subject: Dear Francois Give me a call is VERY URGENT

This is to confirm your mail alongside with your delivery address, be inform that i CLAD to courier service company immediately i got your email together with your information of where i will send your ATM DEBIT VISA CARD .However I have negotiated with the courier companies on how the shipment could be handled.I obtained each of the company's price of their delivery and you can make choice of the courier as their demands are as follows this is safe delivery no problem with custom or security officers be rest assure they will come to your door step for your pick up in Canada DROP you phone number once you have this mails

VERY URGENT CORONA VIRUS IS NOT FOR US

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Time for some fun. Laughing

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Do call me, my number is +1 <Lennys number>. But I'm going to bed soon, so please don't wait too long.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Subject: WAIT FOR MY CALL AM VERY BUSY IN OFFICE

Dear Francois

Courier Service to deliver it to your home address IN Canada is $175 and once YOU pay the fee you will WAIT IN NEXT 24HRS by you self VERY URGENT CORONA VIRUS IS RAY

Remember to use this name below to wire the $175 via Western union money transfer OR Money gram

Receiver name:.............Stella ifeoma Eluno
Country:.........................Nigeria
City:.............................,,,,,Lagos
Test Question:..................How Long
Test Answer:.....................Two days
Amount:.............................$175
MTCN...................................
Sender...................................

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-i
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-ii
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-iii

Hadn't checked my email for a few hours at that point, so I logged in and fired off a fast reply.

Francois wrote:

Barrister Barrince,

I will do so, my friend. I don't think there is a Western Union anywhere near where I live, but there is a Moneygram about 1½ hours drive from here, so I will go there right now - I need to do some shopping before Easter, anyway. I will be home again in the early evening, I will send you the receipt then.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

Ok that is good news i will be waiting Money gram is very good 1½ hours drive from where you living is no much where i go to my office is 2 good hours

Remember to use this name below to wire the $175 Money gram

Receiver name:.............Stella ifeoma Eluno
Country:.........................Nigeria
City:.............................,,,,,Lagos
Test Question:..................How Long
Test Answer:.....................Two days
Amount:.............................$175
MTCN...................................
Sender...................................

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Francois wrote:

Whoa there, 1½ hour is 1½ hour, it is not like time moves slower here than anywhere else on the world. That's 3 hours of drive alltogether, and I do have other things to do than driving around the countryside, you know.

Franco

Unfortunately for "Barrister Brown, Barrister Brown, Barrister Brown", most of the day, I was busy playing D&D online with my nephews and a couple of their friends, so I had no time for him.

Meanwhile, mr. Brown called Lenny:
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-iv

Barrince Brown wrote:

WANT IS GOING ON REMEMBER MY OFFICE AM WITH YOU GOD BLESS YOU

Dear Francois

Good morning, how is your family doing today? below here is the mail I received from the bank and it will be nice if you could update them on what is going on right now regarding this transfer . let me know what you thin and try to update me the bank to void them cancel this deal. mean while how is Covid -19 going on in your country right now?

I will be waiting for your update.an
Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

The next day.

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

I am sorry, my friend - my car broke down on the way, and it was a problem getting it fixed, because most places are closed. I had to stay the night at a motel, but I managed to get it fixed yesterday, so I could continue my trip to pay the money. I have done so, and scanned the receipt for you. Please find the attached receipt. The clerk told me, that you should call the phone number on the receipt, and they will release the reference number to you. He also told it's a new automatic service they have introduced during the Covid crisis.

Happy Easter, I look forward to hearing back!
Franco

Next day, late, around midnight:
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-v

And again:
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-vi

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

I am sorry Francois for the car broke down and am happy you have fixed it up, i managed to see the scanned and receipt attached sent to me, is a big problem now because of Easter,AND Covid -19 MONEY GRAM IS CLOSE HERE FOR CORONA VIRUS IS ONLY TRUE BANK ACCOUNT FOR NOW WHICH IS HERE FOR YOU TO USE

I was told the new automatic service now is you to send it TRUE BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, Easter time is close for sum days now is very save to you found Francois go back and pick up on you money Please pay it true to the bank we sent for you is for you good

<Piggy reported>

Please any of the account you are free to pay it is very very free and sure of you found, I look forward to get back

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Franco didn't like that.

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Excuse me?? You did understand that I sent the money already, right? And that it costed me the repairs of my car and the cost of a night and a motel as well. You understand all this, correct? And now you want me to go back there and cancel the transaction?

Franco

[quote="Barrince Brown"]Dear Francois

GOD BLESS YOU

I TRY MY BEST IF WE CAN GET THE MONEY YOU SENT BUT NO MISS I NOW GO TO UBA BANK IF WE CAN MAKE IT AM VERY VERY SORRY GOD TIME IS BEST AND THE END YOU SEE THE HAND WORK OF GOD HOW OLD ARE YOU AM 65 YEARS

But Franco is stubborn.

Francois wrote:

Well, I am not going back there until next weekend, where I have to pick up my daughter, so you have to do your best to find a Moneygram that is open. As for the reference number, I believe I passed the clerks instructions to you.
Keep me posted when you have collected the fee, please.
I am 71 years old, why do you ask? You sounded younger on the phone.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

Sorry my friend am working with you ok go back cancel the transaction send it true to the BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER is a small money AMOUNT 46016.5 NGN NAIR backis not working Saturday and Sunday with god by Wednesday every thing will be ok AMEN

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

NO NO AM OLD MAN AND I WORK FOR GOD AND GOD IS WORKING IN MY LIFE I WAS BLESS WITH 2 KIDS 65 AND 71 IS ONLY 6 YEARS

REFERENCE/MTCN NUMBER: CALL +44 <MG number> WANT IS THE NAME OF MAN

Maybe that's why he is mumbling that way when he speaks with Lenny. Laughing

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

If you truly are 65 years old, how can you ask someone who is 6 years your senior to take that long drive through hell once more, just because you made a mistake?? It is not going to happen, I am sorry. And even if I did go back there, it would be of no use, because it's Easter, and everything is closed here. I live quite far from the big city.
I don't know what the name is, I was told it was an automated service, so I suppose it is some kind of clever computer machine. I don't know much about these things.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

Yes am 65 ok i ask to no and i think am right to no you age ? this new automated service, over 25th years i work in this office i did not see it in my working days? or do mistake? that long drive all so with me? It will happen because Easter is on the way everything is closed here ? AMOUNT is 46016.5 in NGN NAIR told them want you need? in NGN NAIR you want is you money ? use any of the name choice bank give to you ? follows this is safe delivery no problem with custom or security officers be rest assure they will come? so go ahead and take any of your choice no mistake

<Same ol' piggy>

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Please take your time to understand this: I AM NOT GOING BACK THERE, not in a million years, just because you have some crazy circus going on! End of discussion!
I don't know a damn thing about how it has been for 25 years, but I do knowwhat the cleark in the Moneygram office told me, and that was that Moneygram has now started using an automated phone service because of COVID. I didn't ask him to give me a lecture about it, so I can't tell you a wholelot more - only that you are supposed to call the number and answer some questions.
Now, this is how it's going to be: I will go back to the same area as Moneygram next Friday,because I have to pickup my daughter and drive her to Vancouver. If you have not picked up the money until then, I will cancel the transaction. And then I will forget about the transaction, and never reply to your emails again, because I will then consider you not to be serious.

I have suspected you to be a joker for a while, the way you are mumbling on the phone. Ialmost can't hear a word. Oh well, I'm an old man, maybe God just don't think that I should become rich in this life. Maybe in the next.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

next Friday fine because i don't joker in my office consider follows-my word to pickup here is a big work and questions.for you to cancel it is a big mistake be serious.you rich is at you hand if [/b]i try picked up goof but stop joke by god grace you are rich man[/b]

Francois wrote:

Oh, I am not joking. If you think I am joking, just wait and see what will happen Friday, if you haven't picked up the fee. No jokes - I am serious here, and I am waiting for you to be serious, too.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

OK I WILL TRY MY BEST IF I CAN MEET UP TO PICK THE FEE I WILL UP DATE YOU OK

The holidays went... silence, I guess even lads has to accept that everything is closed during Easter.

Then... finally... Tuesday came... and...
Barrister Brown called Moneygram! Laughing

https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrister-brown-vs-moneygram-i
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrister-brown-vs-moneygram-ii78
https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrister-brown-vs-moneygram-iii

Afterwards, he called Lenny, too. Laughing

https://soundcloud.com/francois-douchebaque/barrince-brown-vii

Barrince Brown wrote:

Dear Francois

The holiday is extended till fourteen days so i have clad those people to get the reference number. i am not joking and i see is like you are joking wait and see what will happen if you have not go to cancel consider follows my word and no make big mistake in you life be serious.you rich is at you hand go to cancel Money-gram did not give the REFERENCE/MTCN NUMBER to me I HAVE TRY MY BEST you found will be cancel here with my power as long am in (Atm Counsellor Office) go AND cancel it

However, we received an email from one (Mrs.Judith McCree) who claims to be your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last four days ON THE RUN OF CORONA VIRUS. She has also submitted her contact information's to the department in charge of your ATM Card as your inheritor. We therefore wish to verify the authenticity of her claim before we proceed with the delivery of this ATM CARD to her.BE serious here

TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND

<Piggy reported>

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

But Franco is stubborn.

Francois wrote:

Look, I already told you that I'm not going back there one more time. WHat is it you don't understand?? But I will do this: I will call Moneygram tomorrow and ask what the hell the problem is. Ok?

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Good .BE serious on this matter one (Mrs.Judith McCree) who claims to be your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last four days ON THE RUN OF CORONA VIRUS. She has also submitted her contact information's to the department in charge of your ATM Card as your inheritor. We therefore wish to verify the authenticity of her claim before we proceed with the delivery of this ATM CARD to her.TOLD them to cancel it and TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND

ONCE SHE COME with the deliver fee I will use Courier Service to deliver it to her home address in Billie Sol Estes 1400 S. Lamar Street Dallas, Texas

TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND

<Same ol' piggy>

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

But Franco is stubborn.

Francois wrote:

Did you even read my last email? I will not go back and cancel the transfer, but I will call and ask what is wrong. Do you understand this?

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

if you like cancel or not cancel as i told you once she come up with the fee i go with her

TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND

<Same ol' piggy>

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Barrince Brown wrote:

CALL THEM TO TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND COLLECTION AMOUNT IN NGN (Naira) IS #46016 USE OUR UBA BANK

<Same ol' piggy>

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Ah, Moneygram gave Franco an explanation, thank GOD!

Francois wrote:

Barrister Barrince Brown,

I have been in contact with Moneygram, and they explained that you a) did not respond correctly to all of the security questions, and b) did not complete the process, but aborted before completion during every attempt. This is why you haven't been able to get the reference code yet. He also sent a printout from they system, which I have attached for you, so you can see whereyou failed and what you need to focus on. So call and get the reference number, it should be easier with the report in your hand, and get back to me when you have picked up the money.

Franco

Denied report attached. Laughing

Barrince Brown wrote:

SORRY I CAN'T CALL ANY OFFICE ANYMORE I HAVE TOLD YOU WHAT NEXT TO DO YOU ARE JORKING WITH YOU FOUNDS
ONCE Mrs.Judith McCree) with the deliver fee I will use Courier Service to deliver it to her home
address in Billie Sol Estes 1400 S. Lamar Street Dallas, Texas

Remember am the one who sent Question and Answer to you why all this am not a full ok

Receiver name:.............Stella ifeoma Eluno
Country:.........................Nigeria
City:.............................,,,,,Lagos
Test Question:..................How Long
Test Answer:.....................Two days
Amount:.............................$175

send it to them and get all we need

Franco is stubborn.

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Yes, and that is the exact infor I gave to the Moneygram officer, and then he asked me some additional questions, I answered them and paid the money. I don't know why you are making such a problem out of this and calling me a joker and I don't know what. Do I work for Moneygram? Huh? Do I? No? Then how can this possibly be MY fault, when I did exactly what YOU asked? Go and get the money, for Christs sake, before I lose my patience and cancel this wjole transaction, because I am beginning to become quite leary of this! And stop asking an old man like myself to drive two hours to get some money that YOU should be getting. And for the record, I am not even allowed to drive around the countryside because of the COVID situation, only if it is very important. You are making the problems and the delays here. Act like a man, for GODS sake!

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

is lie i have told you my word

Barrince Brown wrote:

I'M SURE YOUR NOT A COVID SICK WHO DIE IN CAR ACCIDENT. Will be looking for your deposit which will be refunded.TRANSFER 175$ TO THE ACCOUNT NAME WE SENT TO YOU IS VERY VERY SAVE AND TO YOU FOUND

<Same ol' piggy>

Regards,
MR BARRINCE BROWN
+234-<SNIPPED>
Lagos Nigeria

Francois wrote:

What are you talking about? Are you calling me a liar?? And of course I didn't die in a car accident, if I did I wouldn't be writing this. Why are you saying things like that, have you gone mad? Get your act together and collect the money, for crying out loud!

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

Go and cancel or not cancel once Mrs.Judith McCree) come up with the deliver fee I will use Courier Service to deliver it to her home address in Billie Sol Estes 1400 S. Lamar Street Dallas, Texas by Monday if you the right one on this matter go with my word

Sorry, Mr. Brown, not possible... the Denied report explicitly says that a refund can't be made until 2 daysafter the transfer was made. Laughing

(Thanks to STS for that one)

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Did you even read the report I sent you? It makes it clear, that the transaction can't be canceled or refunded until 20 days after it was made, so as long as you are sitting on your hands behaving like a child, we are moving absolutely nowhere, and we will notmove anywhere for 20 days. I cannot do anything about it, only you can. So all the delay is on you, and I suggest you start behaving like an adult at get with the program. I am really beginning to become quite unhappy with you, young man!

Franco!

Barrince Brown wrote:

i can not call any office the call cost me a lot of money i was trying to help you out on this matter i cald the UBA BANK on the matter where you ATM CARD is now to wait but once the lady come up with the fee how i am to stop her SORRY nothing i can do ok first come first save

Then we just have to wait.

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

Well, there is nothing I can do either, until 20 days has passed and I can get a refund, so I guess we just wait. In the meantime, you can pick up the money anytime you want. So I suggest you do that, instead of being a big fool.
Maybe it's better that you call me, so we can discuss this like men, if you are even able to do that.

Franco

Barrince Brown wrote:

I CAN'T CALL ANY BODY IS YOU FOUNDS

Seems it's his turn to be stubborn, but at least he hasn't stopped relying yet. Laughing

So I keep trying - I'm half Icelandic, and stubborness runs in our blood. Very Happy

Francois wrote:

Mr. Brown,

The only one that can pick them up for the next two weeks is you! What
IS the matter with you`` Why are you obstructing and delaying this
transaction all the time? We could have finished by now, if it wasn't
because of you. I want you to act your age and get the money, before
it is too late, because I can't do anything for 14 days, you hear??

Franco

To be continued? Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 6:40 pm

How unprofessional of him to send you the exact mailing address of that Judith chick. Maybe you should send a hitlad to snuff that bitch out. This lad's grasp of the English language is simply terrible. And what is with this trend where seemingly healthy people jump into their cars and drive them top speed right into a brick wall as a knee jerk response to the virus? It's like that M. Night Shyamalan movie "The Happening" where people exposed to the disease immediately commit suicide as that was the primary symptom.

He owes you an apology. It was very unprofessional of him to share private customer details to you. Is he sending your info to others as well? I'd demand to speak to his manager like you did with that file attachment lad that you provided a link to the other day. I've only managed to get to page 2 of that bait but it is hysterical...only 28 more pages of lad pain to go. I can only imagine what type of torture he was subjected to Cool

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 1:00 am

BARRISTER BROWN (with apologies to A. A. Milne)

Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown
A barrister of great renown
Check your email, and write this down
Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown

Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown
Never a smile, but always a frown
Check your email, and write this down
Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown

Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown
He can’t call anybody, is your founds
Check your email, and write this down
Barrister, Barrister, Barrister Brown

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