Farook's Folly

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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2018 11:03 am

Many Lads can't work without a script - even when that script is apparently missing pages. Hearken to Dr Farook of Western Union, Lome-Togo, who contacted Captain Mal directly with this offer:

Quote:

I Wish to formally inform you that, for the pass Six years now i have been issuing (CONTROL NUMBER) to many foreign beneficiary like you, who are suppose to receive money via western union /Bank Transfer from AFRICA/NIGERIA, but your fund was held back,due to scamming activities,and we find out that you are one of the scam victim.
You may do well to get back to me with Two new names tomorrow morning your time so that you can at least receive up to $250,000 USD before the end of this week.

I intended my reply to nudge him towards my Ghana-Government-Blacklist scenario.

Quote:

No-one's supposed to send me any money from Nigeria - hell, I've never even used Western Union. Who told you I'm a scam victim?

But there was no reply, and I assumed that the Lad was easily put off, but one month later:

Quote:

This is to inform you that as a result of your silent and unable to pay the requested fee we will proceed and return your funds to the government reserve. Or we can arrange with a diplomatic courier delivery service to deliver to you in your country of Origin
Thanks for your understand to this effect.

Mal was puzzled.

Quote:

You never requested any fee.

The Lad's response was... odd.

Quote:

Really? So why have you not received the funds yet ?

Mal was direct.

Quote:

Because Dr Farook fucked up bigtime,

Another pointless question...

Quote:

How can you explain?

Mal opted for a detailed answer.

Quote:

Dr Farook told me that "as a result of your silent and unable to pay the requested fee we will proceed and return your funds to the government reserve". So I told Dr Farook that he never asked me to send any money.

Dr Farook then asked me, "So why have you not received the funds yet?" This was a silly question, so I told him, "Because Dr Farook fucked up bigtime." What I meant was that he had blundered by not actually telling me to send any fee, so that any lack of action was his fault and his alone.

Next stupid question:

Quote:

So what do we do now ?

Mal gets stroppy.

Quote:

How the blue hell would I know what to do? I'm not the gorram SME on this - that should be you!

But Farook has run out of questions, dumb or otherwise:

Quote:

The diplomat have depart this morning 16th June 2018 will call you as soon as he arrive your country remember only you and I know the real content of the consignment box because I told him it is personal treasury inside the box for security reasons.
Make the Handling charges available before his arrival to your country because he will use it to clear the box from the airport before he can deliver to you.
As soon as you get the box successfully get back to me to give you the code to open it.

The handling charges are $3500, so the Lad must feel optimistic.

Now Mal asks a question, and it's not stupid.

Quote:

Where did you send [the diplomat]?

The Lad's reply might indicate that he's realised what he's forgotten, but I have my doubts:

Quote:

To you sir hope you have arrange the fee ready because he will need it to clear the box at your country airport .

I had to ask something.

Quote:

Which airport?

It's remotely possible that the Lad has some info on Mal already, and he'll give the right answer - but I doubt it. We'll see!

Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2018 12:04 pm

That's really funny. Someone gave that lad a shit format to work with. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:29 pm

Perhaps he'll realize this career path isn't for him. He needs a job that requires no imagination.

Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2018 9:46 pm

Dr Farook is way out of his depth and totally without a plan now:

Quote:

You don’t know again ? Hope the fee is ready ?

My response may kill the bait, or it may unlock some tiny spark of creativity in the Lad.

Quote:

I have just three questions for you. I expect you to answer them properly; not with questions of your own.
1. What country am I in?
2. What city am I in?
3. What is the nearest airport?

There'll probably be nothing except a gurgle and a few bubbles as the Lad sinks. We'll see.