Love Sure is Infectious...

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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:30 am

...Or Trucker John Returns:

Quote:

TRUCKER JOHN: Hey there.How’d you gets my emails?
Staph: Its been a while I have but can't remember how I get it
Anyway I am sorry for intruding your privacy
LAD SENT A PHOTO THAT A BAITER MIGHT USE (NO NOT TELLY SAVALAS)
TRUCKER JOHN: Awww that's okay. You sure is a pretty little thing
Staph: If you say so
TRUCKER JOHN: I sure does yes maam I does!
Staph: Okay
TRUCKER JOHN: You looks like red beans and rice didn’t miss you
Staph: Lol
TRUCKER JOHN: What is Lol little laddy?
Staph: Laugh out loud
TRUCKER JOHN: Well I was paying you a compliment but didn’t know it was a funny
Staph: Thanks anyway
TRUCKER JOHN: Awww I didn’t mean to make you all angry like my little chef’s surprise.
Staph: Nah I am not angry
TRUCKER JOHN:ok
Staph: How are you today?
TRUCKER JOHN: Well I is doing just fine thanks you for asking
Staph: You welcome
Can you tell me about yourself?
TRUCKER JOHN:Well there ain’t much to tell cept I’m single and drives my own truck mostly
Staph: Are you a trucker?
TRUCKER JOHN: Owner/Operator yes maam
Staph: Nice
Nice, Thanks for accepting my invitation for the establishment of friendship with me,you seems to be cool headed and easy going.I love the way you composed your words quite different from others..More about me,never been married,no kid,Live alone,self employed.I'm Originally from Atlanta, GA, am into Sales of Sculptures , beads , gold , etc....I`m 5`7" 120 with a athletic build , mentally stable, physically fit, a bunch of laughs, warm, caring, honest, good listening, God Fearing, and a positive person.I am real easy person to talk to and a good listener. I love to play golf and I enjoy chilling with my friend/family , I like going to the movies , or watching movies in my room , I like swimming , fishing, listening to music and dance to any kind of music, traveling , going bowling and also a good cook.I am a family oriented person and There is more, but it would be better for you to find some things out for yourself..
TRUCKER JOHN: Well you write prettier than that author feller I likes but can't remember his name.
Staph: Oh really?
TRUCKER JOHN: I ain’t a liar no I ain’t
Staph: Didn't say you are
TRUCKER JOHN: ok
Staph: Thats about me anyway
TRUCKER JOHN: What you mean by there is some things that I needs to find out for myself?
Staph: Anything else you want to know about me thats I didn't put in the words yet
TRUCKER JOHN: I got you now yes I does but I was figuring that you had a peg leg or something
Staph: Thanks
TRUCKER JOHN:Have you eaten?
What time is it there?
Staph: Yes I did and you?
4:34 PM here
TRUCKER JOHN: I is heading to the diner in a bit cause they gots hot hamburg sandwiches on special and they comes with a bottomless cup of joe and rice or jello for dessert.
Staph: Okay
TRUCKER JOHN: So whats did you has yourself for your supper little laddy?
Staph: Lighter spaghetti & meatballs
TRUCKER JOHN: Why does you has the lighter?
Staph: Its always fun
I am currently staying in Nebraska with my cousin whos wife just dies in an accident, so I am helping him with his kids
TRUCKER JOHN: Well I spose that is real sad yes it is!
Staph:yES
TRUCKER JOHN: So did you leaves your boyfriend back in the Big A eh?
Staph: Don't have a bf
TRUCKER JOHN: Awww that is sad cause you is a real looker and I should know cause I has seen womerns all over this fine country of the United State yes I has.
Staph: Hmmm
TRUCKER JOHN: Now you is acting mad like that wet hen who got tied to a ant hill and had its lips smeared with jam
Staph: Nah nah
TRUCKER JOHN: Well that sure does sounds a bunch more better don’ts you my little glazed donut?
Staph: Not at all
So what are you looking for in a woman?
TRUCKER JOHN: Well I sure does likes me a womern who can cook, likes pets, and bowling plus has a big set of booblies. But I can teach anyone to bowl I spose.
LONG PAUSE
You there little laddy?
Staph: Yes I am
Had to go to the bathroom
TRUCKER JOHN: ok
You sure don’t says too much but I spose that is a good thing too. Hank the DOT feller always said he couldn’t stop his wife from naggling even if he had his…Oh I best no say no more little laddy cause it is kinda personal
Staph: You told me you going for dinner already
TRUCKER JOHN: Dang it I plain forgot in all the excrement my little peach cobbler.I best put on my cleanest khakis and get ready to strap on the feedbag
Staph: I don't get you
TRUCKER JOHN: Awww am sorry your confuse but sometimes my engrish ain’t really all that edumicated
Staph: Where are you originally from?
TRUCKER JOHN: Eufaula or a little north east of Eufaula I spose
Staph: Okay
TRUCKER JOHN: So where is you from at my little chicken fry?
Staph: Atlanta GA
TRUCKER JOHN: Now I been to the Big O many times when on the long haul but what is it like living there with your cousin?
Staph: I am living with my cousin in Nebraska now
TRUCKER JOHN:ok
Is he a nice feller?
Staph: Yes he is
TRUCKER JOHN: ok
Staph: He been always there for me
TRUCKER JOHN: ok
I best be getting me off to my supper. Can we chat more later my newest bestest clam strip?
Staph: Okay dear

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I read all of Trucker John in Charlies voice.

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:42 am

^Roy (Damn) Mercer and a smattering of my Brother in Law by Gawd:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEfsWZumWfM

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:31 am

It's difficult to pass up a Trucker John bait.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Leroy Mercer! Damn I'm getting old. This was one of my favorites. (For those concerned, winters get long up here)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Zbtok_xzI

Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:31 pm

Still not really getting much action but hopefully that will change:

Quote:

Staph: Good morning handsome
TJ: Hey there pretty lady
Staph: Hi
I WENT FOR COFFEE
TJ: Sorry I had to drive for a bit but am now resting and wanting to chart with you.
APPARENTLY SO DID STAPH
TJ: Good morning little laddy
Staph: Morning
TJ: How are you today my little soft serve?
Staph: I am good and you
TJ: I sure can’t complain no I can’t
Staph: Whats going on?
TJ: Am just relaxing here with a cup of mud and my dog. How bout you?
Staph: I am caring for my cousin kids
TJ: Well that sure does sound sweat, yes it does
Staph: Yeah
TJ: What is their names and ages and other stuff like that?
Staph: Terry4yrs and Bella 6yrs
TJ: You ever thinks you want to birth some babies?
Staph: Sure I do and very important in my life
TJ: How many is you figuring on?
Staph: 2 kids
A boy and a girl
TJ: I didn’t know that you could choose but I spose nowadays with all that science them people can do just about anything
Staph: I do kno w what I want
TJ: Well that is a good thing, yes it is
So what sort of feller is you needing to get them babies birthed?
Staph: A man of Honesty, Trustworthy, Understanding, Listener, Communicator and a Great Lover
TJ: I thinks I is getting your meaning little laddy
Staph: How do you mean?
TJ: Well I thinks I know the type of feller you is looking for is all
Staph: Okay
TJ: And I sure does hopes you find one that suits your needs
Staph: Thanks
TJ: And I also hopes I can finds me a good womerns to hold at night too
Staph: Amen
LOOOONG PAUSE
TJ: I guess them little ones is keeping you all busy like and thats why you don't chart so much
Staph: I am chatting
TJ:ok
Staph: What do you want to talk about ?
TJ: Well I spose I should ask if you would ever thinks of maybe dating a feller like me
Staph: I am not sure about dating for now, I have been taking for granted by men
TJ: That sure does sound sad yes it does
Staph: Good
My kind of man is hardworking and supportive
TJ: them sounds like virtues like in the bible they does
Staph: Yes
TJ: I always figured that if I were to have me some young ones I’d call them Boris and Natasha cause I likes them names
Staph: Nice nameas
Names
TJ: But first I need to finds me a womerns that has the right hips and booblies so that we can make them all proper like
Staph: I hope you find her soon
TJ: Thanks you
I don't gets to meet a lot of womerns in my line of work cept lot lizards but they don't count
Staph:Hmmmm
MORE LATERER
TJ: Awww I knows you don’t has no interest in a simple man like me even if I does have a big wang dangler my little butter bean
Staph: How do I know you are serious about me
TJ: Well I guess you makes a good point there but then again we is just getting to know each other more better so maybe my little crab cake we can tries our bestest to trust each others and take it from there
Staph: Okay let see how it goes
TJ: Well that sounds just fine to me my little box of days olds
Staph: Whats is your own deifinition of a relationship?
TJ: Without sounding too romantical I spose it would be to honor and obey and only slip it into my one and only
Staph: What are you willing to offer in a relationship, and what are you ready sacrifice in a relationship?
TJ: Awww I thoughts I just done told you all that my sweet potato pie but I thinks as long as I can bowling with my Buddy Ebson on occasion I thinks all would be right as rain
Staph: I will text you soon need to charge
TJ: ok
Have you eaten?
What time is it there?

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

oscarpiles wrote:

Ebson

Tell me more about Ebson.

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:43 am

^He is still in the developmental phase sadly.

From earlier in the week:

Quote:

Staph: 3:06 PM
TJ: ok
LOOOONG PAUSE
Staph: I am
TJ:ok
So what you wearing my little banana split?
Staph: Cloth
TJ: Well I spose I figured that much out and all but was looking for something a bit more descriptive my little jam tart
Staph: What are you doing now?
TJ: Well I is here on the sofa having me a big tumbler of Cream De Mint. It sure does taste nice yes it does
Staph: You dont work
?
TJ: I sure does work!
I own and operate my truck and she is a beauty eh?
Staph: Yeah you told me but you havent tell me you going to work or working since 2 days we have been chatting
TJ: Them DOT fellers only let us drive so many hours and even with my swindle sheets I gotta be mighty careful my little potato chip with ranch dip
Staph: Okay, what company do you haul for?
TJ:I hauls for anyone who has gots the need cause AWSC Ruitt can handle load my little bacon bit
Staph: Nice
TJ: One day I wants to retire and opens me a Bait shack but it sure would be nice to has me a womerns to share that dream with
Staph: A man can inherit a house and money from his parents, but only the Lord can give him a sensible wife.Love is when money and materialistic things no longer matter
TJ: Amen little laddy. Amen
Staph: Love doesn't cost money, but it does require the payment of your heart
TJ: Awww you talks prettier than a high priced friend of the road my little slider with special sauce
Staph: I am just been myself
TJ: ok
Staph: I want a man who will love and accept me for just who I am...And I also love a man for who he is and not for what he does or have.
TJ: ok
Well I only seen that one picture of you my little nacho platter but I thinks I seen what I likes in womerns.
SLUTTY PICTURE SENT TO TJ
TJ: Oh sweet Jeebus hanging on the wall you gots some great big uns yes you do!!!!!
Staph:Lol
TJ: What you mean by lol?
Staph: Funny
TJ: Well I thinks them looks likes piles of fun
Staph:Hmmm
TJ: Sorry little laddy but the Cream De Mint has gots my tongue wagging yes it has
Staph: Okay dear, so whats our plan for tomorrow
TJ: Since it’s Sunday I’ll probably sleeps in a bit and then get a load of freight and head over to Chi-Town
Staph:Okay
TJ: How bout you my long plate special?
Staph: My data going to finish anytime, would be glad if you can help with a card if you dont mind
TJ: Like sends you a card? Sure how bouts you sends me your cousins address and I’ll put one in the mail all quick like my little finger sandwich
Staph:Okay
TJ: And what name does I put on it?
Staph: You can send the card to me on here, just take a snapshot of the card and send to me here
I though you wanna come to visit me here
TJ: Aww my little Honey glazed I figured I’d mail you a check for maybe a thousand just to see you through
Till I cans come see you all personal like that is
Staph: I dont need that much I only need itunes card
Staph: Okay but its nust for you to get the card at the store and scratch the back and send me the snapshot of it
TJ: Is it okay if I call you by a pet name my little cheese steak hoagie with extra onions?
Staph: thats food name
TJ: Aww that’s more of a term of endearment but I was figuring to call you Jugs cause you reminds me of such things.

AND Today:

Quote:

Staph: Good morning dear
TJ: Hey there my sweat Honey Dew melon top
Staph: Hi
TJ: Hows you been keeping my little Plum Pudding?
Staph: i am ok thanks for asking
TJ: You be most welcome; yes you is
BIGGISH PAUSE
So whatcha wearing?
Staph: So what are you upto ?
TJ: I am having me a few Bourbons and Pepsis is all though am real curious to what y’all is wearing and all my little Chef’s Surprise.
Staph: How can I help you this time, last I rememer you ran off because of the phone card
TJ: Wwhat?
I has been on the black top is all little laddy
I does work and all
Staph:Hmmm
TJ: Well dang it womerns why is you swanning me?
Staph: You are playing games with me
TJ: Well I does likes me some Yahtzee yes I does but we ain’t done played any of that my little bag of Cool Ranch Doritos
Staph: What is your game this time ?
TJ: I was going bowling with my Buddy Ebson if that’s what you is meaning
Staph: Okay where are you now?
TJ: Back home sitting on the sofa with Sgt. Yorkie my little Crab Roll
Staph: Okay
So where have you been all this few days and where is my phone card?
TJ: I dones tolds you I has been driving cause that’s my job and all little laddy
Staph: OKAY so where is my card?
TJ: Well I did gets you a greeting card and some cash but needs your address so I can sends it my little Spring Roll
Staph: Okay you have to send the funds to my cousin info
I am helping him with his kids since he lost his wife
Let me know when you need the info?
TJ: Well you mights as well sends me it now so I can be all prepared like my little Cocktail Weiner
Staph: Okay give me few sec
Okay give me few sec
Name: VINNY MAC
State: NEBRASKA
Zipcode: oooooo
Did you get it?
TJ: Sorry I hads to go water the tires my little Baconator
Staph: Okay so when are you sending it and how much?
TJ: Well you know it Thanksgiving Weekend of coarse you do my little Tuna melt so I has best aim for Monday if I cans swing it
Staph: Okay and how much do I expect?
TJ: I spose that all depends on whether you has been naughty or you has been nice don’t it my little Cream Puff don’t it?
Staph: Are you trying to spoil this or what?
TJ:What you meaning there little laddy?
Staph: I mean are you trying to talk dirty to me because you are sending me funds or what?
TJ: I ain’t been saying nothing dirty yet though these Bourbons and Pepsis is making me kinda romantical my little tube steak.
Staph: Hmm
So why do you say it all depend on me been naughty before you know how much you are sending ?
TJ: Awww that is just a Christmas thing cause when Satan Clause comes a calling he gots to knows and all is all my little waffle cone
Staph: I see
So how much are you sending on monday?
TJ: You sure ain’t acting all amorous like to me and I is getting to think you only cares about my money my little Butter pat
Staph: Is this what you think about me?
I am so disappointed in you now John. I do not need you to send me any money if that is what you think of me ok, I will not let you insult me because of you are going to send me funds ok, I don't go for a man because of money or what he has ok
TJ: Hmmm
Staph: Hmm what?
TJ: Well you ain’t exactly bean nice to my little Tuna taco
Staph: I am
You are been negative
TJ: Am positive you is bean negative my little Swiss melt
Staph: Okay can we drop this argument and be real?
TJ: ok

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