The holy beast of the Illuminati - Togo Safari

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419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 333

One of the Illuminati lads, let's call him Agent L., is providing some good laughs.

My character seemed very compliant, but after the bank transfer didn't work i got a little bit suspicious, but the lad sent some photos showing him (stolen from the internet), and he sent some poorly made Illuminati ID cards.

I asked him, why does he send his members ID cards and his photo when it is supposed to be a secret society? I told him this makes me feel suspicious and i need to see if the photo really showing him and therefore i need him holding a sign for me on the next photo.

After the usual arguing he sent some very badly edited photojobs. But of course i accept it and agree to make the payment again.

At the day of the promised payment my character gets suspicious again and asking him for taking a photo inside the temple grounds, together with the HOLY GOAT which i know they have it in every temple as it is the nearest relative of the beast himself, and i need the proof that he really have access to the temple. Otherwise i can not send the money Smile

But there are a lot of excuses why this is not possible:

Quote:

MY DEAR BROTHER DID NOT STAND ON YOUR WORD IS S IF YOU THINK I NEED YOUR MONEY,BUT I WILL TELL YOU ONE WORD,YOUR MONEY IS NOTTING TO MY MONTHLY PAYMENT FROM THE BROTHERHOOD,IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO IS REALLY READY TO JOIN THE WORLD OF PEACE YOU SHOULD HAVE NOT STRESS ME LIKE THAT.STOP ALL THIS WORD OF NOT TRUSTING ME OKAY.IF YOU DONT WANT TO MAKE YOUR PAYMENT NO PROBLEM,BUT FOR YOUR OTHER PROVE YOU NEED FROM ME,WE ARE ONLY ALLOW TO ENTER THE TEMPLE EVERY THURSDAY,FRIDAY AND TODAY,SO GO MAKE YOUR PAYMENT MY BROTHER,AND DONT BE AFRAID I TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT YOU ARE IN A STAFF HAND DONT WORRY GO MAKE YOUR PAYMENT SO THAT YOU CAN BE REGISTER AS A FULL MEMBER,SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THOSE THINGS YOU AS FROM,AFTER YOUR PAYMENT AS A FULL MEMBER,I WILL SEND THEM FOR YOU.

Quote:

THANK YOU MY HUMBLE BROTHER,YOU ARE STILL NOT GETING ME,BEFORE YOU CAN SEE THOSE THINGS,THE HUMBLE ANIMAL OF THE ILLUMINATI,YOU MUST BE FULLY REGISTERED,THINK OF IT HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU WHAT THE IMAGE OF ME WORSHIPING IN THE TEMPLE OR HOLD THE HUMBLE GOAT OUT MY HAND AND SOME ONE WILL SNAP IT REMEMBER IS A SECRET SOCIETY AND NOT PUBLIC,WE DONT EVEN USED PHONE WHY WORSHIPING,I OBEY ORDER FROM THE HIGH PRIEST MY BROTHER WHAT YOU ME TO DO CAN EVEN TAKE MY LIFE OKAY.IF YOU LOVE ME AS YOUR BROTHER GO MAKE PAYMENT AND SEE EVERY THING FOR YOURSELF.

Quote:

BROTHER ITIS FORBIDDEN TO DO WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FROM ME,IT NOT JUST A GOAT MY BROTHER.

I told him ok, then a snap with a "normal" goat will do.

Quote:

REMEMBER THAT I AM NOT IN NIGERIA,WERE DO YOU WANT ME TO SEE A GOAT.

He claims to be in Turkey, a country famous for it's goats Very Happy

Told him that.

Quote:

BROTHER WHAT WILL YOU SAY WHEN YOU SEE A BIG MAN SNAPING WITH A GOAT??????? TELL ME THE TRUTH.

After some more convincing:

Quote:

OKAY YOU WANT ME TO SNAP WITH A MALE GOAT ,THAT ALL YOU NEED.OKAY NO PROLEM I WILL WHAT YOU FOR ONE REASON BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BROTHER.I WILL DO THAT TOMORROW. AND SENT IT TO YOU.

As i expected, he sent a really terribly lousy photoshop job, one of the worst i've ever seen, but of course i believe him now and give him my full trust. Promised the payment for the next day. The lad even searched for the nearest Western Union office in my town and sent the adress and a photo from the map.

So, everything went fine for the payment, except the Western Union manager is a crook and chops the money. The WU manager is a very skilled lad by himself and he starts playing his game with Agent L. He is not amused.

Quote:

SO MR MAN WERE IS THE MR ALFRED AND WHY WILL YOU CALL HIM A FOOL IS LIKE BROTHER TO ME OKAY,ALLOW HIM SEND IS MONEY OKAY I DONT KNW YOU.

Quote:

AM LARRY IN TURKEY,SO I AM NOT NIGERIA OKAY

Quote:

MR MAN WHO ARE AND WHAT DID YOU TAKE ME FOR.AND WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL ME

Quote:

NO PROBLEM BROTHER,THEN SEND ME THE FORMER MTCN,I AGREE WITH YOU.BUT

SEND ME THE MTCN OF 1250 AND KEEP THE OTHER ONE

Quote:

SO NOW AS MY BROTHER,NO PROBLEM HERE IS MY CONTACT CALL ME NOW AM FROM EKPOMA IRUEKPEN +234XXX... (number available on request Very Happy

)

now he tries all his different approaches, from begging to threatening, denying, accusing, back to begging again...

Quote:

ABEG HELP BROS I WAS SEND OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE OF SCHOO FEE

After some more convincing he seems to follow the game (or at least want me to believe that) and i told him am harking into his victims inbox, and make him bring me more money, which i intend to share.

So finally he goes into submissive state and we can work together...

Quote:

So why did you want to cheat on me this my first money brother Pls

help me out I was send out of school I don't have money, please

brother

Quote:

Okay please help me sir am new in this work, so you need to put me through.

Quote:

But when sir will you send me the 1'250 sir please I don't have

parents that why I am doing this and this is my first money

Quote:

Boss you are good I love that and you are a true brother to me

Of course i'm gonna need some photos Very Happy

After some long debating, first this:

not very satisfying so he needs to make it again, with some extra illuminatic requests:

Ok, this makes me think about sending him some small amount.

Quote:

Brother I need School fee brother am Notting without you.

Quote:

Brother thank you very much I am glad to see some one like you

When are you send it.

Quote:

Sir you will now be the Illuminati grand Master,

Of course i can not send it with WU, i need bank accounts. After getting some pork i let him stew for a while.

Quote:

Thanks you master

Quote:

Sir can you help today you are my only hope sir

Quote:

Brother please if you can do this for me I will always be loyal to you sir.

Quote:

Hello brother what is happening sir please help me out

The next day i told him i checked the victims inbox and there is another scam email, i want to know if that is him and accusing him little bit of lying to his new father. He gives me a lot of crappy excuses. I tell him i saw the goat photo from the victims inbox and praise Mr. Alfred for the good idea. Laughing

He could have saved himself all the trouble with sending a real goat photo the first time i was asking...

Quote:

But now I can only see a dog goat are far for me,i don't like goat
but I have a dog, please can I send that

Quote:

Please I only have a dog

Quote:

Sir settle it am going to look for a goat sir please help Me

Quote:

Am doing it now.

Of course he needs to wait one or 2 days for my answer, which generates some whining Twisted Evil

Quote:

Sir why are you doing this to me,

Quote:

YOU DONT NEED TO HELP ME SIR,YOU PROMISE TODAY BUT YOU FAIL PLS HELP
EVEN IF IS JUST 1250 I WILL BE HAPPY SIR,I HAVE NOT EVEN EAT SINCE I
WANT TO DRINK GARRI NOW,BEFORE I SLEEP PLS SIR HELP ME SORRY IF I HAVE WRONG YOU ARE YOU ON IMO CHAT,SO WE CAN DO VIDEO CALL SIR PLEASE.

Quote:

BROTHER IF TRY TO SPOIL THIS BUSINESS MAY ME DIE BY AN ACCIENDT

Quote:

SIR PUT YOUR SELF IN MY SHOES.NIGERIA IS VERY HARD FOOD IS A PROBLEM EVEN MONEY ,TRY UNDERSTAND MY POOR CONDITION I DONT HAVE,PARENT ANY MONEY I STRUGGLE TO LIVE LIFE SIR,PLEAZ

Quote:

SIR HELP,I ABEGING YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD.JUST BECAUSE OF GOD.HELP ME SIR I DONT WANT TO DIE IN SUFFERING,EVEN MY JUNIOR BROTHER WE ARE JUST TWO,WE LIVING WITH OUR ANUTY AND SHE TREAT US VERY BAD ,MY PLAN WAS IF RECIEVE THIS MONEY I WILL GO AND RENT A SMALL FOR ME AND MY BROTHER-DADY PLS MAKE MY DREAM WORK PLS,.

The next day: Smile

Quote:

HELLO DADDY,HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT

So lads remember, when i want my goat photo i will get my goat photo Cool

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:58 pm

Oh my! This is fantastic. I love how he is calling you master!

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:05 pm

Way to own his sorry, lying, photochopping ass.

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:28 pm

"HELLO DADDY,HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT"

Muhahahaha! Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 333

So, Illuminati Agent L. and my fake lad were working together and got quite a big amount from my victim Smile

And of course Agent L. wants his fair share, but how is he gonna get it? All the bank transactions failed (4 accounts in total) and since my fake lad is working at Western U., he can not use any money transfer. Rolling Eyes

In that situation, there is only one way, which is sending the cash to him by courrier. Don't we all know this famous courrier company? Twisted Evil

Agent L. agreed i send him the money directly to Ekpoma. After sending him the shipping receipt he was very happy and saw i was not just talking crap.

Quote:

You are my through father

Quote:

My dad now I trust you.

Quote:

I trust you daddy God will bless you.

and we are already talking about how to use our hard earned money Very Happy

Quote:

daddy did you use your own share to get ashawo?

But the next day he is getting nervous because the tracking from this shipping company can be quite confusing...

Quote:

what is happening help me go to their office because they have pass nigeria already

and he is showing some geographical knowledge...

Quote:

when i track it the plane is going to lome in ghana

Quote:

they did not even stop in nigeriaa they pass nigeria going to ghana

The Nigeria Office of the shipping company was closed because of syphillis epidemic, so the package could not be delivered to Ekpoma Sad

Quote:

sir the parcel was deliver in togo

Quote:

and not in nigeria

Quote:

Daddy they said they droped The parcel in Togo and I need to come over
to Togo to collect it before 7days, please Sir I don't have any money
to go to Togo can you help me with 250chf.

Quote:

Daddy please help me out please daddy

After some more convincing and telling him that i have a friend in Togo who pick the money from the corrupt customs officers, he tells me:

Quote:

HELLO DADDY HOW ARE YOU I AM GOING TO TOGO TOMORROW

He is supposed to meet my friend Abdoul for the handover in Togo.

After a long day of waiting and worrying about him ( Wink

) he finally contacts Abdoul.

Quote:

Sir am in the gate

Quote:

University of lome near cool.

Quote:

Sir did you see my images i sent to you and am already there. Code to
the gate please come and pick me

Quote:

Sir please am there and i am very hungry please come and pick me

to daddy:

Quote:

Dad your friend did not want too come and pick me

Quote:

He is not replying my messages can you call hi for me, am out the
university of lome gate already dad i have not eating since morning

Quote:

I have stomach alcer

But no answer from my side. This morning:

Quote:

Good morning dad, i have not hear from your friend, And i sleep in a
bush near the university.

and to Abdoul:

Quote:

Hello sir what ofence did i commet, that make you to lieve me here
since yesterday and i have not even eating.

Hope the bush was comfy Twisted Evil

Abdoul did contact him this morning, unfortunely he had to escape from the police and he is hiding in Ghana now, with the money Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:43 am

Muhahaha, fantastic job! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:13 am

Top work, Doraemon! That woebegone expression is pure delight.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:47 am

Awesome, daddy Doraemon!!!! This is brilliant clapping

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 1:17 pm

The expressions on his face as he arrives and is left stranded, broke, waiting for his share of his "victim's" money are priceless! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 1:47 pm

Excellent work!

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:51 pm

Haha sleeping in a bush. Great job D!

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 5:00 pm

Poor guy... Shame on you, Doraemon.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 6:50 pm

Another great safari. Congrats!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Is it just me or is he getting better looking as the safari goes on ?

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:39 pm

^^ I was thinking that, too. I really hate it when lads bring a change of clothes.

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:29 pm

Selling some of them soon just for food hopefully!

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:49 pm

Well Done, Dora! Edo State to Lome is quite a trek.

This brought back happy memories for me as one of my Lads was from Ekpoma and used the same bus company (Efex) when he travelled. Great stuff!

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