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 SAFARI Ghana – Benin “Man, You Are a Joker!”

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 11:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Image

Mr Alhaji sat in the shade of the Cotonou Sports Stadium and scratched his beard. The deal that had seemed so lucrative in Ghana 2 days ago now seemed increasingly suspicious. He had taken the night bus from Accra to Cotonou and arrived at 0100 hrs. Try as he might, he was unable to locate the Hotel. He had a small sample of Gold in his pocket and was itching to rob the stupid Maga of his $10 000 USD in cash and accompanying bank transfer. Where in Hell was he...?

Quote:
“Man, you are a Joker!”
“Your Hotel is not in Cotonou!”
“Why your Cotonou number is not going?”
“The telephone number on your website is ‘419’ at the end”
“You have Hotels all over Africa and none of these address is existing”


THE AUDIO: https://soundcloud.com/mbayowambayo/accra-to-cotonou-feb-15


Image

Quote:
The Players:

Oga: Chief Donald (Bom)Bah(clat) in Cote d’Ivoire.
Second Lieutenant: Mr Williams in Ghana.
Travelling Lad: Mohammed Al-haji from Ghana.
Hotels Chain Owner in Republic of Benin: Mr Geoffrey.
Hotel Security Guard in Cotonou: Mr Randy.


NB: Thanks to TigerLily for sharing with me some of her leftover Skype Subscription minutes to Benin.
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Esox lucius
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 11:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Very Happy +

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Padme
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 11:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Congrats on your -- what number are you up to now? -- safari! Another happy customer.

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The Monsignor
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks! I am unsure now exactly what it should be, as I have a few unclaimed to add and update the total. I hope that you will enjoy the audio...


NB: Now updated.


Last edited by The Monsignor on Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Padme
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Those calls are hilarious! Love the main whiny lad and his sidekick yelling things in the background. You can hear their pain. hahahaha

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"Shege danburuba, your end has come. The spirit of all the people you kill is after you now and you can not excape it. See you in hell dan esika."

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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That self-styled "chief" is a whining, obstreprous old whinger. More anger from him, please!

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Britannicus
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dearest Monsignor, returning to my earlier observation of your incredibly credible and plausible deadpan delivery, I have tried to think of comparisons. Two names from the finest that British Comedy has to offer come to mind: Julia Lewis (especially in her productions "Hunderby" & "Nighty Night") and John Cleese especially in his roles as an earnest interviewer! Furthermore, I don't know about the others here, but your voice is having another effect on me: You may remember that after Tommy Cooper had established himself he did not even have to be visible on stage for people to break out with laughter, the sound of his voice alone was more than sufficient to generate fits! That's how your voice is affecting me. I am exceedingly happy that you are back with another safari, and although the voices of the lads consistently remain inaudible I am very entertained! Thank you!
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srichards
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 4:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You never cease to amaze me! Bravo!!! beers!

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Big X
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 4:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Outstanding as always, Monsignor. He definitely sounds upset.

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Capone
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Wait! SH Cotonou is a very pleasant property-why couldn't he find it?

I really like the guys in the background!

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Mr. Labowski
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I always love requesting that lads just "pop on up" to some city that is hundreds of miles further. Laughing

These lads seemed to love it too.

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DoomAngel
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You know, if you wrote this stuff as part of a movie it would be farce and totally unbelievable.

It's priceless ! Just want to have been a fly on the wall.

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SunblockThrows
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That audio is pure excellence. I desperately wish I could phone bait, but I just get the gigglies way too easily.
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Connie L. Gus
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 5:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Absolutely top drawer baiting.

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metamit
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 6:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Another amazing adventure! Well done!

I have to know - how the heck do you guys keep from laughing when you're on the phone??? I wouldn't make it 10 seconds! LOL

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Fryer
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 6:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

We're going to have to change the term "safari" to a TM.
"Man, I finally got that laze lad to get up and go on a TM to Cotonou!"

Another excellent job sir! bow_down

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dementedman
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Always a blast Smile

Great job!
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Yastreb
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Fryer wrote:
We're going to have to change the term "safari" to a TM.
"Man, I finally got that laze lad to get up and go on a TM to Cotonou!"


You're on to something there.

"Temporary Migration"?

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Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok

May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE

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Britannicus
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hello All! Whenever I click the link that leads to the soundcloud audio the lad is almost completely inaudible whereas The Monsignor can be heard loud and clear. Is that just me and my computer or are you guys experiencing the same issue?
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Juan Freizwidatt
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The lads are loud and clear on my computer. I'm not sure why yours isn't working well. Question

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Bort
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 1:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ When I was listening to it, the lad's voice came from one headphone and the Monsignor's from the other. It ould be an issue with one of your speakers or headphones.

This is great stuff. The lads don't sound happy at all. Very Happy

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Esox lucius
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 1:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Bugger the acoustic playback quality, this is what matters...
Quote:
The lads don't sound happy at all


Very Happy

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SweetPoison
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 4:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cotonou is now the place to be! Congrats TM on another brilliant safari with marvelous audio. And here's to many many more!

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TerranceBoyce
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You ARE the Joker.

Image

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usernametaken
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 2:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

TM, I remember reading and listening to some audio of a safari that you did or were involved with, where you had the lad hand the phone to some soldiers or cops and told them to be careful because the lad might be a mercinary.

One of the funniest things I've ever heard. I can't seem to find it again. Do you remember which bait that was or happen to have a link for it?
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