Stranded, Starving, and Scared in Cote d’Ivoire - SAFARI

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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:48 pm

So i have this lad and he have been with me for a long time, since autumn. And as far as lads go he is rather likable. His greed doesn't shine like a beacon and he is polite. He is still a lad though and therefore i am baiting the shit out of him.

He is a gold lad and he said that he was willing to go to Sweden from Ghana. I was sceptic at first but he showed me a scanned (legit) paper from the Danish embassy where the requirements were listed. And what he needed from me was a letter of invitation, which i generously provided him with. It went something like this.

Quote:

Den här mannen är ute efter att bedra mig och jag vill därför inte att ni ska släppa in honom i landet

Med vänliga hälsningar
Alois Schickelgruber

After this he waited... and waited... and waited. I had him on a slow burner and after a over three months i decided that it was time for him to safari. So i asked the owner of a famous hotel chain if he could have the lads stay there, and he agreed to this. This Tuesday was S-day for the lad. He called me on Monday night from an Ivorian number so i already knew that he was abroad, now he only had a gruesome 5 hour bus ride in front of him. He wanted to take the flight but sadly the embassy had failed to make a decision so they still had the passport, so he have to take the bus. You can always trust the Danes. Kamelåså.

Below is a compilation of several calls made to the lads (he brought a friend). They include:

Failed pick ups by an incompetent cook at the hotel.
Walking
Bad directions
More walking
A missing Visa card
Detainment and frisking at the military base
Hunger
Desperation

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/AbldgtNQba/Camara__Pal_in_Bouake_22_Apr_1.html

So with a promise of a pick up by the trustworthy Mr Randy tomorrow we left the lad for a good nights sleep. With no cash, no Visa card, no food, low on phone credits and faith we leave the lads. Things are looking great.

And remember, God always rewards the righteous!

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:41 pm

‘Why is it that guests of my Hotels always seem to get lost?’, mused SH Owner Mr Geoffrey. He just couldn’t understand it. Yesterday, his Chef Mr Mbayo twice rode out to collect these 2 lost Ghanaian Guests and twice returned empty-handed.

They had been sleeping on the floor of some kind strangers’ house and wandering the streets during the day, seemingly starving and emotional. They could not understand how the Hotel could be based in an Army Barracks and had been repeatedly detained and thoroughly searched as they walked from one Army camp to another.

Well, today Geoffrey's Deputy Mr Randy was back at work. He would send Randy out to pick up these 2 poor, stranded businessmen.

Nothing could possibly go wrong... Cool

If Geoffrey had seen the 4 SMS that Mbayo had sent the 2 Ghanaians, he would have exploded...

Quote:

[1506:47] Receiver: Mbayo waMb@yo. Amount: $50 USD. Q: What we have? A: Guns and Cutlass.

Quote:

[1547:17] Guy u no tel di fukin white maga geoffrey bout dis or me an Randy show u sum fukin gunshot. Mbayo

Quote:

[1548:22] U sen mi di $50 or we no cum pick u and tel di white maga dat wi no fin u agin.

Quote:

[1550:04] Wi unplug geoffry landlin an wi hav his mobile wid us now so u no can tel im whappen. Randy call u later fo di mtcn.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK, CHILDREN, OR THE SENSITIVE:
Camara & Pal in Bouake 23 Apr 14 (Compilation Edit in Stereo).mp3

Quote:

The Cast:

Randy T0m: Alex Kelvin
Mbayo waMb@yo: Tururut
Mr Geoffrey: TM

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:55 pm

Great pleasure to co-operate with the safari champion, and to seriously annoy some lads. On retrospective, my african accent needs serious improvement.

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:04 pm

Great stuff. I love it.

Did you guys make these calls on one of your Saturday Night calling sessions?

I've got to remember to go on Skype Saturday nights and joining you guys.

Anyway--I loved the calls (as usual)! Smile

EDIT: Tururut--I think you did great!

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:22 pm

Poor guyman, nothing to eat but poo-poo. Brilliant Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:04 pm

I absolutely love reading baits by Eater's superstars! bow_down

Could anything else possibly go wrong?

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:23 pm

Wow, Tururut, you did a great job! Very Happy

This is a wonderful bait. Great job, all!

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 12:07 am

Turu, you are a star! Dr. Mike and TM, this is amazing! How many broke starving, stranded scammers are wandering the streets, in fear of Mr. Th0m in Bouake and other locals? I wish there was an emoticon for a standing ovation!

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 12:18 am

Just brilliant! clapping

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 12:52 am

Long live Tururut the beer drinking cook and Mr Randy Tom!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

I can't listen to the audio because my boy is running back and forth, but from what I've read and the comments from those that were able to listen, I think this is phenomenal! Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2014 Posts: 102

Good work guys!

I wonder if the officers at the military barracks in Bouake have discussed what to do with all the people from Ghana wanting to enter the military compound claiming that they want to visit a non-existing hotel.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 1:57 pm

Word is likely to go around by now. Hopefully they will get tired and arrest the next fucker that comes along. And with any luck that will be a poor schmuck from Liberia in a week.
In a few hours I will update the thread with yesterday evenings event when the lads started to show the result of their ordeal when Alois called them.

Elite Baiter Joined: 10 Mar 2013 Posts: 1482

^^^ I would imagine that they will eventualy start asking more questions. Unless they already know because lad told them and then paid their way out as they weren't a direct threat to them.

BTW. I haven't followed all these topics so how many lads you have sent to this military base?

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:23 pm

You guys are doing some great baiting! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 2:28 pm

I think this is my third lad going there. But it might also be four. But there are other baiters that have had lads here, I am far from the only one.

I wonder if it is possible to help the soldiers along with drawing the wrong conclusion about the lads by having the lads showing them a totally inappropriate message of some sort. As long as the lads doesn't speak French this shouldn't be impossible.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:33 pm

Update time, these calls were made yesterday, but i have not had time to post them until now.

A series of calls were made to the lads where the extent of Randy's treachery was made clear to Alois. These three calls as really enjoyable, well unless you are a lad that is. If you like lads that is one inch away from crying these are for you. Basically the lads keep on saying how unfairly they have been treated in the hands of Randy and Geoffrey. In the end i promised them a payment as it was clear to them that Geoffrey was not a very reliable man. In fact, they refused to speak to him.

So i will send them some cash, I said that i would do it next morning (this morning) and i would send it as soon as the office opened. I even got payment details. When TM come online you will know how the payment to the lads when. Here are the calls.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/ZRMHaRkPce/I_havent_eaten_since_yesterday.html?
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/X9xtdh3Pce/Im_suffering_here_08_53_PM_Wed.html?
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/xqlD7J53ce/Im_dying_here_10_13_PM_Wednesd.html?

The lads are now set on going back home, they are broken. Question is, will they be able to?

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:33 pm

R4ndy T0m sounds like a schizophrenic psychopath. Well done!

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 6:07 pm

What fantastic baiting! Very Happy

Lads are totally irony-impaired. I love listening to him whine about how "unfair" it is. He sure cares about his own misery but he couldn't care less about the misery he inflicts on his victims.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

OMG, those phone calls are GOLD! Very Happy

Lads are so close to tears!

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 6:50 pm

Two days ago, Dr Mike's Swedish Island-Hopping Safari http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=248041 had only just ended and he was calling me with yet another Safari - his 53rd - to one of my S@fari Hotels in Bouake. As I type this Post, he is working on more Safaris (to Rame Head and to a Hotel respectively).

Dr M is at the top of the tree with (the long-lost) jojobean. He is a Safari machine! Safari

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 6:58 pm

Amazeballs-Safari season is upon us again...

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:07 pm

Leka wrote:

BTW. I haven't followed all these topics so how many lads you have sent to this military base?

I've had to think back. SH Bouake has certainly been the most popular resort so far:

1. Mike Obidi (Dharma/Dr Mike/The Dane). Detained, searched, and interrogated at the Barracks for 6 hours.
2. Abay (Dr Mike/Phil Yerboots).
3. Orphanage Lads (Capone/DaDollahChoppah).
4. Mr Camara & Pal (Dr Mike). Both repeatedly searched and questioned at various Barracks.

I think that's it...or have I missed one?

S@fari Hotels - your very own Safari modality. Link at top of my signature, below.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:16 pm

Thanks TM, I would also like to mention Dharma, he also have a shitload of safaris and apart from that he have taught me much of what I know.

The two upcoming safaris are lads that have had the pleasure of sending guymen on safaris before. And now they might do it again, for the second respectively third time. I cant believe that they are so stupid.

In my last post i mentioned that we promised the lads to send them money for food and such. And we did. Here are the messages the lads received.

Quote:

Mr Camara, I am sorry for the delay, but I am now at the MoneyGram Outlet in my city. I have sent you $100 USD. Your Reference Number is 541965***continued***

Quote:

***part missing***

Hmm, there seem to be some digits missing. That's just bad luck. What are the lads going to eat now?

ETA: I was actually involved in all of those baits. But only as a consultant in DDC and Capones safari. Of the lot I safaried, I enjoyed Abay the most. He was the lad that had a really detestable personality.

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 10:13 pm

^^I love it.

Great calls to all involved Smile

I loved the one lad (I forget his name) who's voice goes up 10 octaves when he's upset Laughing

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