S. Larry Massbait - "YOU WILL DIE BY HAKUNA MATATA"

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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:38 am

Previous threads:

My latest Church of the Old Gods applicant (Nov 19, 2012 - Jun 06, 2013)
Sc0tt Larry - "fuck you all" (Jun 18, 2013 - Nov 21, 2013)

Sc0tt Larry (who will hereafter be simply referred to as Larry until a more fitting nickname emerges) is one of my favorite lads. For a little over a year, this thoroughly hooked lad tried to join the mysterious and deeply unreliable Church of the Old Gods, producing numerous trophies and a half-arsed safari I was never able to prove, which can be seen in the above threads.

After a long silence, Larry has emailed his former love, Joanna, once a Sister in the church, now a porn star and private, er, assistant for one Mr. G0mer.

Her last email to him, back in November '13, was this:

Joanna wrote:

well this is a surprisez

look to be honestz i dont know if im the onez to help u with this stuffz

remember i dont got those fundz no more

i dont havez anythingz to do with those old godz assholez anymore thank god

so i duinno rly

loook if u rly need some moneyz mayube my boss can helpz u

his names harry g0mer hes the oga of the gang i run with now

hes looking for new guyz to do jobs for him. may not be the sorta stuffz u would want to do... its not rly legalz stuff i u no what i mean

anywayz let me know

im so sorryz for how everything turnz out

but its time to movez on

im contentz with my new lifez doing porn and fuckingz gansters. its alrite rly wen u getz use to it. wat canz u do rly??

r u contentz my s larry?

i hope so

The other day, Larry, having the time of his life, wrote:

HELLO,HONEY HOW YOU DOING?AM REALLY MISSING YOU HERE,BEEN A LONGTIME NO CHAT I MISSED YOU HONEY,PLEASE CONCERNING WHAT YOU TOLD BEFORE IF AM INTERESTED AM VERY MUCH INTERESTED NOW,SO YOU TALK TO YOUR BOSS ABOUT MY DECISION ,HONEY AM SO BROKE HERE,CANT EVEN PAY UP MY BILLS HERE,HONEY PLEASE I NEED YOU TO HELP ME WITH 500 USD,TO ENABLE ME MEET UP MY BILLS,PLEASE AM WAITING TO READ BACK FROM YOU ,I LOVE YOU HONEY TAKE CARE ,SWEETY.........................

Today, Joanna wrote:

heyaz larry

im sorry to heerz about ur issuz.

i will speakz with harry tonitez and he will emailz u

pls dontz call me honey in mailz anymore it will make harry very angryz cuz he considerz me his girl nowz

stay wellz

xxx
jo

He's also contacted Big X's character Roger, which I'll let him post.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:58 am

Great pics, LOVE the tat!!

Really love this bit:

Quote:

his names harry g0mer hes the oga of the gang i run with now

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:04 am

I like the name ""

yet,

ETA: Masked

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:15 am

Oh yes, I see some great fun coming (again)!

This lad is just begging for more. I'm sure you have plenty of pain yet to dish out. Thumbs up

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:48 am

^ I sure hope so!

Mr. G0mer wrote:

BRODA

AM HARRY GOMER U WILL CALL ME MR. G0MER. AM CHAIR OF G0MERBOIS. WE RUN MANY BUSNESS THROUGHOUT 9JA N ABROAD INCLUDING GIRLS, RUNNING CONTRABAND N WORKING MAGAS N WE DO IT WELL

I HAVE READ THROUGH BEAUTIFUL JOANNA'S BOX N SEE UR MAILS. AM NO FOOL. I SEE U ARE GUY. WE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW GUYMEN WITH POTENTIAL

THROUGH A CONTACT OF MINE WE HAVE SOURCED A FRESH HOARDE OF MAGAS. HE IS DOCTOR WHO IS HIGH UP IN AN AUSTRALIAN HOSPITAL N OWES ME MUCH MONEY. BECAUSE I AM KIND N MERCIFUL MAN I WIPE HIS DEBT CLEAN. IN GRATITUDE HE PROVIDE ME WITH ENTIRE DATABASE OF HOSPITAL STAFF AND PATIENTS. MAIL ADDRESS OF OVER 2000 FRESH JOBS WAITING TO BE PICK. WE HAVE WRITTEN UP PERFECT FORMAT FOR THIS DEMOGRAPHIC OF MAGA

WHAT WE NEED IS NEW GUYS TO WORK THIS JOBS. WE BOMB OUT FORMAT TO LIST N U BRING IN PAYDAY. WE TAKE CUT OF 40% OF ALL JOBS COMPLETED. UR CUT INCREASE AS U COMPLETE MORE JOBS. IF U DO REALLY WELL U MAY EVEN BE INVITED TO JOIN THE G0MERBOIS.

ONE LUV

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:01 pm

Larry contacted Roger with this:

Quote:

hello,19 una try well well how ,with you and your 19 guys

Which is odd, because Roger was presented to him as a Reverend of the Church.

Roger stays in character for now:

Quote:

I do not understand your message. My understanding from Rev Abouba was that you had left the church. Are you saying you want to join again, and you have 19 friends who also want to?

If he replies with more pidgin, I will drop the act and reveal that Roger is really working for the Gomerbois. Or that his email has been hacked. I haven't decided yet.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:41 pm

Bort wrote:

I HAVE READ THROUGH BEAUTIFUL JOANNA'S BOX N SEE UR MAILS. AM NO FOOL. I SEE U ARE GUY.

Almost spat my coffee... Innuendo intended?

Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 1:33 am

No, actually, but I noticed it and burst out laughing as soon as I typed it.

Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:12 am

Just how thick is he? Rolling Eyes

Idiot wrote:

hello,mr gomer like you call yourself how did you get my email address?first of all,am not suprised because i knew you all are scammers.now tell me what exactly did you want from me go straight to the point ok ,so i can know my stand,hope you write me back ............

Gomer, not impressed, wrote:

BRODA

U NEED TO READ MY MAIL MORE CAREFULY. I HAVE STATE MY CASE VERY CLEARLY

JOANNA ANGEL GAVE ME UR EMAIL AFTER U EXPRESS INTEREST IN WORKING WITH ME. SHE ALSO GAVE ME ACCESS TO HER BOX BOTH HER MAILING BOX N THE OTHER BOX. I PREFER THE SECOND BOX

IF YOU READ MY PREVIOUS MAIL WITH PROPER EFFORT BECOMING OF A GUYMAN U WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT I SEEK FROM YOU N WHAT U STAND TO GAIN.

I OFFER JOB SCAMMING MAGA. DAT STRAIGHT TO THE POINT ENOUGH? IF U WISH TO SUCCEED IN DIS BUSNESS U NEED TO THINK BEFORE U TYPE

DO U WANT DIS JOB OR NOT? IF NOT DO NOT WASTE THE TIME OF A BUSY MAN AS MYSELF.

ONE LUV

Meanwhile, to Joanna:

Larry, his affections spurned, wrote:

ok,whatever just stay cool,i now fully understand you take care...........

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:40 am

And he's back on the hook!

Larry, very much interested, wrote:

hello,brother i now understand what you are talking about am very much interested in this game,am not the only person willing to this i have a very good friend of mine,that is interested also,please i will like you to help the both of us,so please tell what are the procedures now,that is how do we start?please i will be waiting to raed back from you soon,take care..............master.........

So, now it is massbait time. Very Happy

Gomer's men will be sending their spiffy new format out to the email addresses of all staff and patients of Arkham Hospital in the city of Buenos Aires, Australia. Send me a PM if interested in taking part. Your character would need to be a patient, doctor, nurse or other staff member (janitor, receptionist, administrator, etc) of the very big Arkham Hospital.

Master Baiter Joined: 30 May 2013 Posts: 145

PM sent

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Aug 2013 Posts: 222

I'm in! PM sent.

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Aug 2013 Posts: 222

I'm in! PM sent.

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:00 am

I'm such a sucker for massbaits. PM sent.

Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:00 pm

Gomer wrote:

BRODA

WELCOME ABOARD

UR FREND MAY TAKE PART AS LONG AS U VOUCH FOR HIM AS LOYAL N TALENTED GUY. TELL HIM MAIL ME SO I MAY SPEAK WITH HIM DIRECT

I HAVE ATTARCH FORMAT U WILL BE USING FOR DIS JOB. THERE ARE TWO. ONE IS FOR U N ONE IS FOR UR FREND. THEY ARE SAME EXCEPT FOR NAME OF MAILER. CHOOSE ONE EACH. ONE WILL BE SEND TO HALF OF MAIL LIST, WITH UR MAIL ADDRESS AS REPLY-TO. SECOND WILL BE SENT TO OTHER HALF OF MAIL LIST, WITH UR FREND'S MAIL ADDRESS. FORMAT INVOLVE U PLAYING DOCTOR AT ARKHAM HOSPITAL WHO FIND OUT MAGA HAVE DISEASE. THEY PAY MONEY TO BUY CURE

SEND ME ADRESS U WILL BE USING FOR THIS JOB AND ADRESS UR FREND WILL BE USING. WHEN I RECEIVE DEM I SEND TO MY GUYS N THEY START BOMBING

ALL UNDERSTOOD?

ONE LUV

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:00 am

I've now got enough fresh magas for the massbait. Thanks to everyone who is taking part - Larry should have his hands full, I imagine. Twisted Evil

Larry wrote:

hello,master thanks for the reply and the format,please i will like you to send me your phone numbers ,so we can talk on phone ok,hope to see your phone ok,thank you very much once more.............

Gomer wrote:

LISTEN BRODA

U DO NOT GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. AM NOT GOING TO SPEAK ABOUT SUCH BUSNESS ON INSECURE PHONE LINE SO JUST FORGET ABOUT DAT RITE NOW OK. A MAN SUCH AS ME DOS NOT GET DIS FAR IN LIFE BY MAKING FOOLISH MISTAKE. DO U WANT POLICE TO TURN UP AT BOTH OUR DOORSTEP TO LOCK US IN KIRIKIRI??

AM STILL WAITING FOR MAIL ADDRESS U N UR FREND R USING FOR DIS JOB. PLS DO NOT KEEP ME WAITING

ONE LUV

Those who have followed the previous threads would know that getting a phone call tends to be a pretty persistent bugbear for Larry. I don't really have the facilities for phone baiting (and I doubt I'd be able to do a believable Gomer anyway), so I'll just keep fobbing off his requests as usual, but if there's anyone who feels like doing me a huge favour and calling him (or receiving a call) as Gomer, it would be massively appreciated.

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 5:11 am

And it begins!

Gomer wrote:

BRODA AM SICK OF WAITING HERE. TIME IS MONEY IN DIS BUSNESS. ALWAYS REMEMBER DAT

I HAVE INSTRUCT MY GUY TO BOMB FORMAT TO ALL ADDRESS ON ARKHAM HOSPITAL LIST WITH UR CURRENT MAIL (snip) AS REPLY-TO. EXPECT REPLY FROM MAGAS SOON. U N UR FREND CAN DIVIDE JOBS BETWEEN URSELF N DECIDE HOW TO WORK DEM. USE FORMAT #1 FOR ALL MAGA OK. REMEMBER TO CHECK IN SPAM FOLDER IN CASE SUM REPLY END UP DERE

PLS SEND REGULAR UPDATE ON JOB PROGRESS. GOOD LUCK

ONE LUV

PMs are being sent out with all the relevant details now (if I've missed you, please let me know). It'll only be Larry involved in the massbait for now - I assume he'll probably palm some baiters off to his friend somewhere down the line.

Since all the characters involved in this massbait are more or less located in the same vicinity (the great coastal city of Buenos Aires, Australia), I'll post regular updates about the city and Arkham Hospital (ie. weather, significant events, etc) so that people don't accidentally contradict each other.

Arkham Hospital, Buenos Aires, Australia - Wednesday, 19th February, 2014:

- Weather Forecast: Sunny, with hot temperatures. Possibility of light rain later in the week.
- Elections for Lord Mayor of Buenos Aires underway. Incumbent Martin Prince trailing well behind challenger Peter Baelish.
- Crime rate increasing in south of city, including several brutal armed robberies
- At Arkham Hospital: Dr. Edward Auster, chief of neurosurgery, was fired and arrested last Friday for multiple accounts of operating under the influence, there have been further budget cuts to nursing and rehab wards, new Administrator for Pediatric Care hired (Dr. Susan Smith).

Larry still seems wary of Gomer, so I recommend playing things pretty straight to begin with. Please don't post the name Larry is using in the script either (the one that sounds a whole lot like "Dr. Fake Scammer" - I imagine it'd be very easy to google.

Have fun, everyone!

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:32 am

Colin Blythe sends the lad a short message asking for help:

Quote:

I am shocked to hear that I am infected! I don't know how it happened. What should I do? How can I get the cure for this horrible disease?

Bort, does he have any more levels to the script, or will he be off script from the start?

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:01 pm

^ He has three more emails' worth, then he's on his own.

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 2:20 pm

This is the format Larry believes has been mass-mailed out. Parts have been redacted to prevent him finding this thread

Quote:

Subject: Your are infected

Greetings and congratulations Sir AND/OR Madam;

I am Dr. Fake Scammer, head CEO (snip) of AABMI (ARKHAM HOSPITAL BLOOD AND MUCUS (snip)); It is my finding that YOU (PATIENT AND/OR EMPLOYEE OF ARKHAM HOSPITAL) have been infected with the ROMERO VIRUS, on studying of you’re BMT (BLOOD AND MUCUS TESTS) performed within the last TWO TO FOUR WEEKS;

The ROMERO VIRUS is most often contractioned from curtain animals found in AUSTRALIA and RAND MCNALLY (Esquisitely; SOUTHERN JACKANAPE, PYGMY TITMOUSE, UNITED STATE BULLFROG, MOST SPECIES OF DROPBEAR); It exhibitions many symptoms such as EXCESS SALIVA, BOILS ON POSTERIOR AND INTIMATE AREAS, RINGING IN EARS, COMPULSIONS OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND/OR HOMICIDE and CARPEL TUNNEL SYNDROME;

Yet, all is not lost for YOU (PATIENT AND/OR EMPLOYEE OF ARKHAM HOSPITAL); Myself and my procrastinating colleagues at AABMI (ARKHAM HOSPITAL BLOOD AND MUCUS (snip)) have been hardly at work developing a miracle cure for the ROMERO VIRUS.; As a verified PATIENT AND/OR EMPLOYEE OF ARKHAM HOSPITAL, you Sir AND/OR Madam are eligible for an experimental test of our cure, codenamed (snip);

Reply to me in due season to apply for the ROMERO VIRUS cure NOW;

Thank you and remain bless; Dr. Fake Scammer

Katie "replies".

Katie wrote:

Explain please. Im sick? How sick? Is my life in danger?

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:29 am

This just in to Gomer. The way things are going so far, I'm not especially confident that Larry is heading for a bright career as a G0merBoi.

Larry, very confuse, wrote:

hello,mr gomer i dont understand what you said,are you people that reply me on that deases format ,because i recieve a mail,from 2 people saying that they want to know what next to do okay,but i dont understand anything here okay,hope to read back from you soon....................

Gomer wrote:

MY BRODA

WHAT U MEAN AM I PEOPLE THAT REPLY? UR ADDRESS WAS PUT AS REPLY-TO ADRESS WHEN FORMAT WAS BOMBED. DAT MEAN WEN PEOPLE REPLY TO FORMAT THEYRE MAIL GO TO UR INBOX. ANYONE WHO REPLY WILL BE PERSON ON HOSPITAL LIST. I HAVE EXPLAIN ALL DIS ALREADY OK

JUST USE NEXT PART OF FORMAT I SEND U FOR REPLY. IF THEY ASK QUESTION NOT COVERED U MAKE SOMETHING UP. KEEP GOING UNTIL PAYDAY

U UNDERSTAND HOW DIS GAME WORK RITE?

ONE LUV

Anyone receive a response from him yet?

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:50 am

He seems pretty thick. I just sent my opening "oh no what must I do" Shocked

Quote:

I have received your notification of having been infected with the romero virus. I am quite concerned and fear your diagnosis is correct, as my wife keeps two southern jackanapes as pets. I do not yet show any symptoms, though I do have some ringing in my ears. I certainly hope that since I am not yet with symptoms that you can help me. Please let me know what I should do to be in the experimental tests for a cure?

Regards and thank you,
Finnegan O'Neal

I'd sure like to see a gomerboi tat on his other arm.

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:58 am

First message sent.

Dr. Vicky wrote:

I'm infected with some weird virus? Well, that's just great. I should have never taken that residency in the Infectiousing Diseases Depertament. Never trust a hospital that makes such serious budget cuts.

Well, complaining about it won't help. What do I need to do now?

Sincerely,
Dr. [Vicky F.],
Resident, Infectiousing Diseases Depertament
Arkam Hospital, Buenos Aires, AU

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 4:11 am

Larry replied to Colin:

Quote:

hello,mr collin blythe ,how you doing?am glad to get a reply from you,please hope you can provide with the following details your name,gender,marital status,residential addresss,phone num,occupation,please fill out this and get back to i hope to read back from you soon................

Colin replies:

Quote:

I am doing fine, but you told me I was infected with that horrible disease, so I don't know how I should be feeling.

Here is the infors you resquested:

Colin Blythe
Male
Single
26 Glenview Terrace, Buenos Aires, Australia
Director of Proctology

I didn't bother giving him a phone number. I'll let him exhaust the script before trying to derail him.

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 4:22 am

Lazy git isn't even using Gomer's script. Oh well, more work for him, I guess.

If anyone taking part has the capacity to send or receive phone calls, I'd recommend talking to him over the phone - it'll probably result in him being hooked for life on your character. Once I sort out my computer's microphone... issues, I'm going to give it a try.

On that note, Scruffy the Janitor (someone I can actually convincingly pretend to be on the phone) joins the bait.

Scruffy wrote:

hello doctor scammer i am not happy to get this message not at all after everything scruffys been through with the cancer and the diabeetus and the methadone all that shit now ive got more sicknesses!!! scruffy dont need this scruffy dont need this at all

so i suppose this damn drugs gonna cost me money. how much you damn doctors gonna steal from poor scruffy this time

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