General Cornball

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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:56 pm

For some reason, Elise seems to attract the Rear Admirals, Generals and Major Generals...all broke of course. Laughing

Quote:

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write you . My name is General Richard Crowell. I am 57yrs old single father. I am from the United State of American to be precise. My wife died 4 years ago in auto clash. I am American military officer currently on duty post here in Afghanistan. I am stationed at the Contingency Operating Base (COB) in Southern Afghanistan. I have an office of my own. I have been in Afghanistan for eleven month’s now and I will be going back to US in three weeks from now.

I enjoy my work and my attitude is positive and grateful. which is usually a smile on my face and I have been very blessed. I have had my share of setbacks in life, haven’t we all? But, in spite of everything I have never stopped being grateful for every experience that I have been given. I am a very happy person. I like to have fun, work, travel, play and smile. I think of myself as clever, but harmless. I am an easy going person, humorous, witty, kind and a very jovial man. I want to experience as much of this world as I can before this lifetime is over. My hobbies are horse riding, baseball, music’s, food, soccer, jogging etc. I'm looking for a woman to love, someone to spend the rest of my life with, someone to share my life, my adventures, Sometimes I will pull you away from your work without warning for some bit of fun, and while your work went undone; your memories will be enriched. I am looking for you a good looking, intelligent, passionate, caring, loving, understanding and independent woman. A woman ready to love me for whom I am.

I do not seek perfection, as I am far from the mark myself, but I do need to be with someone who wants it, someone who strives to reach her goal. I can help you when you stumble, and you can help me when I stumble, and together we can work our way up the ladder. I also want to meet someone who is contented with her life, someone who is ready to share that life with me, and ready to have my life shared with her.

Attached are my pictures for you to know me. Endeavor to also tell me more about yourself, your life style, your age, your dos and don't, your hobbies and also send me some of your pictures when replying this mail. I sincerely wish you the very best .

It was a nice surprise to open my mail and see a reply from you! I'm also from the United State of American, Floria to be precise. I'm so sorry to read about your wife dying in an auto clash. My late husband died seven years ago from cancer.

I have two grown sons, both are married with kids. I have a medical supply business that my late husband started many years ago. I enjoy doing it although it's a lot of work. But it keeps me busy. As far as hobbies, I like to travel, ski, canoe and bike ride. When the weather isn't so nice, I like to cook and read. Like you, I've had my setbacks in life but find myself wanting to share my life with someone else. It's no fun being alone all the time.

I'm sure that you're looking forward to returning home after being in Afghanistan for so long. Do you plan on retiring or will you continue to stay in the military?

I wish you a good and safe evening and hope to hear from you soon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

I do love your lad de-education.
Use caution with those Rear Admirals.

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:11 pm

Yep, those rear admirals have a habit of sneaking up on you. Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:32 pm

I saw a movie about "auto clashes" once. All the vehicles turned into robots. What a terrible way to die. Razz

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:20 pm

Quote:

Good day my dear, I am sure you had a wonderful night, thanks for the message you sent me, First i most tell you more things you need to know about me, I live in United State New York City , I like to travel during my spare time, I like to walk along the beach and breath in the ocean, I do love to go to the beach and walk breath in the ocean, watch people love to see children playing we can learn so much from children,and swimming. Enjoy the life find the way people lived ! Enjoy something, Interesting! Reading ,i am an honest and sincere romantic happy man, I hate disappointment! I love the quiet and stillness of the early morning, Before I get out of bed, I usually thank God for all that I am grateful for, What makes me happy? Who can understand me and really care about me, Very little things make me happy, i like surprise, a smile, a hug, a kiss, very simple! A joke ect. put a smile on my face, those are things i like in a partner,

I hope you can understand me without words!I dreamed of a understanding caring loving woman, who can understand, listen, support and accept me with sense of humor!. If I get this, I will give even more in return, I want a gift of my life, An Amazing! Fantastic! Excellent! Relationship! I will like to relocate to you so we can start a new life together. i will like to invest after my retirement from the military service.

About me, I can say that I am a very sociable, kind and cheerful person with a good sense of humor. I like to laugh and to have fun! Besides, people who laugh, live longer. Though, on the other hand I can be very serious. I am a reliable, responsible person. I am open to anyone and I like to help them in any hard situations. I am honest and sincere. I hate lies and I prefer to tell the truth and just what I have on my mind! Besides, I like nature! Like peaceful life, I was born in New Bern, North Carolina, i am the only child of my parent, I graduated from Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) with a bachelor’s degree in English, My dear,I know with you i will found the joy and happiness, love and peace that I seek in a woman.

I wish you nice and pleasant day my dear and hope to hear from you soon.

I!just!love!his!use!of!exclamation!points! Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:35 pm

Quote:

I like Nature!

English major from Virginia Tech. Sounds plausible.

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 1:52 am

Quote:

An Amazing! Fantastic! Excellent! Relationship!

All we need are Ginger Lee's jazz hands and we have a musical!

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:04 am

^^^^^ One I would pay money to see! Evil Lol

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 1:12 pm

Just leave the back door open a bit so I can sneak in. Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:21 pm

Good morning Richard,

If you love the beach, you would certainly love the beaches here in Floria. The sand is so white and the oceans so blue. We do have to worry about the occasional shark that will eat someone but we try not to think about that when we go in the water. That's why we practice the buddy system here.

I like nature too! I have a pond on my property that used to be stocked with koi. I would sit out on the porch and watch the birds fly down and snatch the fish out of the pond. The last time that I put fish in the pond, I had them shipped from up north so they were frozen. The birds had a hard time trying to lift the frozen cubes of fish out of the pond. Since then, I've put plastic wind up fish in there. The birds don't like them but the grandkids do.

You really sound like a wonderful man. I love the qualities that you have and hope that we can continue to stay in touch and get to know each other better.

Yours,
Elise

Quote:

Dearest Elise,

Good day, my dear. I am for my inability to write to you now, sorry, I was on patrol with my troops in the northern part of Afghanistan, and we returned now. I must admit that you really are a very beautiful and charming woman. Since I met you, my life is beginning to be so different, even if my days seem the same. And I must confess that, my Outlook has changed. You have opened my eyes to some amazing new possibilities. I will be satisfied forever with a new sense of wonder and joy, because I love you shared with me.

I know you most have also heard of what is going on here in Afghanistan is the officially the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, is a landlocked and mountainous country in south-central Asia. It is bordered by Pakistan in the south and east, Iran in the west, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Tajikistan in the north, and China in the far northeast, my dear due to the Taliban treat and attack we don't make calls.

I must confess that I feel inadequate in some respects. My mind is in question, I can be your affection? Can I give you the feeling as warm and secure as the ones you have given me? You have decided to show me how strong a passion, combined with secure sweet love, I can only hope that in time feel a little insight into the same emotions from me.

Our days are so hard that do we not feel like one friend. But I want you to know that no matter how crazy life gets, I'll always be here for you, because I'm crazy about you. my dear I like you and will continue to. The summer roses in full bloom, make me wish I could show all hot pink passion, you make me feel. I really have feelings to be with you as you came into my life and taught me how to give one. They fuel my desire, no matter what you're doing, and I could never get enough of it to love you. I look forward to celebrating a hot pink summer with you.

I wish you a nice and pleasant day, my dear and hope to hear from you.

Hot Pink Passion - isn't that the name of a drink??? Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 7:42 pm

It's a mediocre Spanish pop music song....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHjDC6pzEwc

Always nice to see a love lad get off script and express his hot pink feelings.

Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:26 am

It was nice of him to give us a geography lesson and letting us know that the Taliban is giving our troops "treats". I wonder if "treats" and "attacks" is like "trick or treat". Razz

Posted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:46 am

My dear Richard,

what a wonderful mail to receive. You really put a smile on my face. I like you also and hope that you are taking good care of yourself over there. I want to make sure that you return home safely.

Will you be doing anything over the weekend? Do they allow you to have the weekend free?

Please remember to be safe!

Quote:

Dearest Elise,

Good evening, my dear. I hope you had a wonderful day. I must confess that I am a very hectic days because of the many attacks here in Afghanistan. I would retire from active service and that means that I left the military for good, a civilian man. I want to move to join you when I get behind me so we can start a new happy life together as one, All the pains and suffering that I had gone through during my days in the military retirement. I think you are the woman of my dreams, and I assure you that we will be together, others do not.

How I wish you could bring the idea of the words that I bring to term. When I say I love you, then the higher percentage of my words are still unspoken. But of course, I must say something ... my heart beats for you, and my heart yearns for you. When I describe the love I could try for you I would, and the use of text and the love songs and sonnets of Shakespeare, and it would be impossible, because the love is real, that I to you, love unconditional, eternal and indescribable. You have my heart and love on the day we met and you'll always be. As time goes by, my heart and my love for you will continue to grow stronger, brighter and bigger. My dear about weekend , I am on duty mission here due to the Taliban attack we don't have free weekend, but we have free position duties to relax , because if we give Taliban the opportunity they will attack us so we are always very at alert .

I wish you a pleasant night and sweet dreams my dear ,and hope to hear from you.
Love

Good thing I haven't had breakfast yet... puke

Posted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 8:13 pm

I hope that you're having a good Sunday and have had peace there so that you may enjoy it. It has been wonderfully sunny here and I've been in the yard tip toeing through the tulips. I know that seems brazen to do given that you're over there fighting the Taliban with the last drop of your blood. If I were younger, perhaps I would be there at your side.

My dear, I hope that you continue to be safe over there and know that I think of you often.

Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:50 pm

Quote:

Good morning my dear . I am sure you have a good weekend my darling. Thanks for the detailed message that you sent me. I appreciate it so much. I told you already that I am in Afghanistan and leave Afghanistan soon told. I am writing this letter to you to remember about my infinite love, that I burn in my heart. I am for all the great things you have done for me, thank God, you're very special person I know, and I want you to know that I have never left and that I am not for something better asked in my life than to just say that I love you. I am so grateful for a precious gift, like the ones you all over me every day: your love!

You are the world to me and I would do anything to make you happy, without thinking. I love everything about you ... Your smile, your eyes, it looks ... There is simply no end to how I feel. You are my life and my only love. I would remind you that in this way will be up to the end of time. I love you with all my heart, body, mind and soul.

Love is the precious gift of heaven. Love is the greatest feeling. Love is like a melody. In life it is to bring harmony. Love is what I feel for you every day. Your love, love in every way ... simple and beautiful, you're the only one that I desire. I need you to be at my side. Just like an angel to keep forever. Your love for me is gentle and kind, and brought me peace of heart, soul and spirit ... That is the reason why I am grateful to the Lord, who has sent an angel of love.

Have a nice day my darling. I hope to hear from you.

Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:03 am

What a beautiful email to read! You echo my thoughts exactly. You're a very special man and I'm sure your kids are very proud of you. I don't think that we've ever talked about them. Will you tell me all about them? I love to know them as I know their father.

Quote:

Good morning my love, I am sure you had a wonderful night, I have a daughter who is 17yrs old her name is Annabel and she studied foreign languages, I want you to know that my love for you is unconditional. And with you I found the joy of happiness, love and peace that I seek in a woman, You're my better half and I will always love you. I love you now and forever. since I have all my trust in you and with you, I believe in my heart that we are going to build a happy family future together, I want to send a box with money to you , To receive and keep it save, till i will come and join you, because i want us private investment or company .i want to invest when i come to join you and together we will , I want you to keep this very confidential, because i do not want you to share this with a different person because of the security reason you know this is money we are talking about, I tell you this because I love you and i know we are going to make a happy family together as one, i want you to receive this package as i will be with you immediately next week.

I know you are a blessing from God. I was very amazed and happy my heart is filed with joy and happiness since i found you , my dear, I was in a position of the money here in my office in Kabul. I'm afraid of keeping it here with me because of Taliban attack, I do not want them to know destroy or confiscate my money because i work very hard for money, and it is a very large sum of money, it is difficult to get . Honey, I'm repeating it again. Nobody knows about this money, and besides me there is no problem or harm with it at all right, it is now safely in my office.

I have therefore come to this conclusion. I want to send this money to you by a diplomat since am coming to join you soon, i want to send the money to you by a diplomat, which will not know the contains of the box as there is no way I can transfer this money through a bank here in Afghanistan, due to sanctions arising from the Afghan government by the European Union and the United Nations, Honey, I trust you that's why I want to send this money to you so that you receive the money and keep it safe as I coming to join you immediately. Honey, please, please, I always want this very private and not reveal to anybody for security reasons I trust you. I think you know I trust you so much, the diplomat will not know the con taint of the box,i will package it as a family belongs treasure, and with my reputation he will deliver the box to you in good condition.

I love you so much. I appreciate your input in my life. Honey, I love you and I can not stop loving you, you completely changed my life and I thank God, Honey, I'm going and I hope to hear from you.

I wish you nice and pleasant day my love and hope to hear from you soon.

So, I'll do a NV tactic and not want it...

I hope you are having a good morning and that you are safe. Annabel sounds like a lovely lady. If she's anything like her father, I'm sure she'll be a success with whatever she decides to do. Has she decided what she wants to do yet?

As far as your money, I don't want to have anything to do with it. I would prefer that you send it to Annabel for safekeeping. That way if something happens to you, her future will be taken care of.

Well my darling I must sign off. I have to eat breakfast and get ready to go to work. Take good care of yourself for me and stay safe.