Very Lazy Lad

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Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 11:20 am

I got this the other day -

Quote:

Congratulation's!!!

I replied -

Quote:

You get this week's prize for being the laziest scammer (only one word sent) and a special bonus for putting in an apostrophe where it's not required

It must be the shortest lad email ever received! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:04 pm

What was the email subject?

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:11 pm

The subject consisted of ony three letters...FYI

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:13 pm

FYI
Congratulation's!!!

That's it? seriously? wow...

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:16 pm

Dear Santa Claus. I have been a very good boy this year and I have only one wish for Christmas: I want more lads to be like him.

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:18 pm

Indeed! You'd think he'd want to spark some interest, but it seems he couldn't be bothered. I wonder how he thinks he's going to make his duboius living if this is all the effort he's willing to put into it.

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:51 pm

Reply "thanks" and see what will happen?

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:03 pm

Good plan. I'll try it

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:10 pm

Or maybe "He only died yesterday! How did you hear about it so fast?"

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:44 pm

I sent him "thank you very much" and he responded...this time going from one extreme to the other...

Quote:

Hello Friend

Complement of the season from the Large Family to you, I hope this information meet you well as I know you will be curious to know why/how we contacted you, Well we were the fortunate winners of a $11.3 million Jackpot Lottery winning fund, My wife and I decided to donate the sum of $500,000.00USD to you as part of our charity project to improve the lot of 10 lucky individuals all over the world from our $11.3 million Jackpot Lottery winning fund. We prayed and searched over the internet for assistance and we saw your profile on Google email owners list and picked you. I selected you to receive a cash sum of $500,000 USD, as our information below is 100% legitimate, and this is to acknowledge your message to me. Violet my wife and I have decided to make sure this is put on the internet for the world to see. My wife has cancer and she died last year July 16 at Colchester regional hospital in truro, my wife just didn't die but she was a great person and I miss her so much and this is why I have decided to do one thing i promised her forever. as you could see from the video and webpage below, I am not getting any younger and you can imagine having no kids at this age. Although we won this lottery funds last year July 2011/2012 and we have helped some charity organization from our winnings

You see after taken care of the needs of our immediate family members, Before she died we decided to donate the remaining of the $11million to other individuals around the world in need, the local fire department, the red cross, Haiti, hospitals in truro where violet underwent her cancer treatment, and some other organizations in Asia and Europe that fight cancer, Alzheimer’s and diabetes and the bulk of the funds deposited with our payout bank of this charity donation. We have kept just 2% of the entire lottery sum to our self for the raining day.

To facilitate the payment process of the funds ($500,000.00 usd) which have been donated solely to you, you are to send us your full names for payment, your contact address and your personal telephone number, address (i asked for this brief information just to know who i am donating this money to and because of the Identity thief going around the world which i have been a victim i do not want to ask you for your ID as i do not want to leave an impression in your mind that i want to steal your identity) I am hoping that you will be able to use the money wisely and judiciously over there in your country. please you have to do your part to also alleviate the level of poverty in your region, help as many you can help once you have this money in your personal account because that is the only objective of donating this money to you in the first place.

I like to re-assure you of the legitimacy of this services as we will not be involved in any fraudulent act and will never be, we only want to feel good by helping people this time of the year, this is the only thing that makes my wife happy too even now that she is not here with me anymore, we have too much to give away as I only have few years left on earth. I will advise as you as the prospective lucky winners to be calm not to lose this great opportunity which millions of people are trying to entangled but the chances just couldn’t come for them because a lot of people are out there to discourage them as they don't know how it works, and have never seen such before. Please you have to delete this message if you are not willing to carry out this project. You can verify this by visiting web pages below once again.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/violet-large-gave-away-her-lottery-windfall/article2119137/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11699678

I anticipated your response soon.

God bless you

Allen and Violet Large

Allen and Violet Large are real people who did donate 98% of their $11.2 lottery win to various good causes in an utterly selfless and genuinely philanthropic way. However this scum sucking mugu bastard is trying to scam some money for himself on the back of it so as a consequence I am going to torment this piece of filth until he begs to his God for an early death. Maybe it's even worthy of a mass bait. Thoughts anyone? Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:07 pm

TL;DR but he must have a piggy for you. Fire up the smoker and bring the applesauce.

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:16 pm

A piggy is the least I want from this boi.

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 7:16 pm

That's even better that my lazylad. - his format was simply

Quote:

Do you want a loan?

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:25 am

My lad has sent me a "certificate of deposit" for me to send to the bank...and what a steaming pile of poo it is.
Spelling mistakes abound that are just the result of laziness and not checking what he'd done before he sent it out together with the usual crap graphics badly sized and poorly centred.
The best bit though is the transaction details. This is supposed to be from a Canadian, but the transaction codes are for something done through the Royal Bank of Scotland in London 22 years (!!) before this lottery win was won!
I wish I could slap this guy FOR REAL. He's an utter twat!

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:48 am

Comic Sans. Laughing

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:32 am

Quote:

This is to certity that:

You made me lol in my office!

Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 9:27 am

The bank has sent me an application form and a request for a passport photo. I replied...

Quote:

Dear Sir
Please find the completed application form attached together with a passport photograph as requested. The photograph is scanned from my Wermacht Identity Card which is why it is a little grainy. I trust this will not be an issue.

Regards

R. Jimlad

and included this...

Let's see what the witless lad makes of THAT! Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:15 am

That certificate really cheered me up it's so bad. I could have done a lot better on an old manual typewriter.

Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:44 am

I've been in rather irate communication with the "bank" after they told me they used WU to accept payments.

Quote:

Dear Sir
There are two things wrong with your message to me.
1. Why has the fee gone from $340 in you last email to $380 in this one?
2. What kind of bank can you possibly be if you're asking me to send money via Western Union? It's ludicrous! You're a bank for God's sake, so act like one. Give me a bank account I can pay money into. That's what banks do. Banks are banks. Western Union is Western Union AND THE TWO NEVER MIX!!! What you're asking me to do is akin to having me buy something in a shop and then telling me to pay that shop's competitor down the road.
HAVE YOU NO IDEA OF HOW FARCICAL SOUNDING WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR IS?

Western Union and Moneygram are used by criminals and money launderers and I will have nothing to do with them. Unless you fall into either of these two categories, YOU WILL GIVE ME A LEGITIMATE BANK ACCOUNT INTO WHICH I CAN MAKE THE PAYMENT OF $340.
If this is not forthcoming, you can kiss your fee goodbye as I will have concluded by then that I am not dealing with a real bank, but some kind of criminal scammers.

I complained to my "aged Canadian benefactor"

Quote:

Hello,

How are you today, hope you are doing great. I have got through the email and I observed a lot of misspelled words. Well let us take it to be that the Chinese people are not very good when it comes to speaking simple English Language. Mr.Jimlad I think since the bank had demanded for 340 usd, for the fund to be delivered to you as their bank charges for the transaction, I think you should comply, because the most important thing here is for the funds to be transferred to you not the misspelled words.

I will send an email to them for explanation to all this, else I pull out all my funds away from the Bank.

Mr. Allen Large

Then, just to make sure I kept his interest, I sent this...

Quote:

Dear Mr Large
The paying of the $340 is not the issue here. I have no problem whatsoever with paying the money. My issue is that for a bank to ask for money to be sent to it using a hitherto unknown individual's name via Western Union is completely fraudulent. Western Union is NEVER used by banks for money transfer purposes. That is what banks do, that is what they are there for. If someone claiming to be from a bank asks for money to be transferred supposedly to that bank through an unknown individual via Western Union, then it is a pound to a pinch of shit that he is nothing to do with a real bank and is trying to defraud you of the funds he is asking for. I used to be bank manager so I know what I'm talking about. If I were you Mr. Large I would get my money out of that bank YESTERDAY! It's security is clearly non existent.

He replied at 9 this morning. Bear in mind this guy's supposed to be Canadian so he's either very drunk or an ill-educated Malaysian lad. I know which one has my money on it! Rolling Eyes

Quote:

have communicated with the Bank on what you complained about, and they told me that it is you that have misunderstood them and the are sincerely sorry for any inconveniences they may have caused you. Regarding the western union issue, they told me that it is a new law of banking operating policy to dis-congest their banking activities and they also said that this policy is not only applicable to their bank alone in Asia rather it is a reform that is going around in the banking sector in their region. Lastly they said that they did not send you any email on Sunday as claimed by you that it is possible it can late to you maybe due to server or net work delay problem. Please I think you should give them a benefit of doubt by just complying with them because we can not really know how nice horny can be, until you taste it and if we decided not to, because bee stings then we might have missed it. I will monitor the progress of the transfer from here. Am sure you know that I am old and can not really do much but I promise to follow up with the progress.
I want you to contact the bank and make claim. Stay bless and do ensure you make good use of the funds after the transfer is completed.

It seems obvious I'm not going to get a piggy out of this one but I would like to inflict the largest amount of lad pain in the sending of my WU payment. Any ideas on how I can spin it out for the longest possible time?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 11 Jul 2013 Posts: 14

Use his words against him, "due to new banking laws the repeated use of WU to transfer funds has lead to WU to impliment a banking transcode release form"

Of course there will be issues when he fills out that form

Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:22 pm

Good one. Thanks!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Aug 2013 Posts: 7

My lazy lad simply said this without a subject:

Quote:

i have inheritance for u

I replied saying yay what inheritance? and didn't get a response. Figures Razz