Church baiter wanted-My lad literally begging to be baited.

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Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 4:08 pm

apparently a significant member of the Saudi Royal family is begging to be inducted into my church. Prince Fayad himself (apparently a convert to the Episcopal church!) wants to convert to whatever church I am a member of as soon as he can.

I could use some expert church baiters' participation on this guy for a big sell.

Here are the best of the bait emails thus far for your background info. You will notice I did not reveal the church, so it can be TWAT or whatever is your thing. Comments and suggestions are welcome here. PM me for the lad's email address if you want to coordinate a team bait.

BEGIN -- --
The lad opens with the Prince gambit. He is using the lazy lad approach of already claiming that I already agreed to something. It's a boring, over-explained opener .... Help me get my family fortune--blah blah blah.
At only 30 million dollars of his family's 14.8 billion, it's hardly worth the effort.

Highlights:

As you may know from the international media, the sultan had accused my father of financial mismanagement and impropriety of US$14.8 Billion dollars. This was as a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my father's company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei Investment Company to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in office. However my father was kept under house arrest, his bank accounts and private Properties including a crude oil export refinery were later confiscated by the sultanate... and so on. He signs off as a devout Muslim:

"May Allah's blessing remains with you. I remain yours sincerely. Prince Fayad B.S. Bolkiah."

I reply:

Your Highness:

I am most surprised to get this email from you. I have never imagined such a thing.

I have great sympathy for your plight. I do not know if I will be able to help you. My church places strong restrictions on aiding Islam because of the violent means that so many of its followers use. We are a people of peace.

May mercy find you and grant you peace.

Well, he can't let a little thing like the pillars of Islam get in the way, so he adds this gem to a cut-and-paste reply:

"Lastly, I must assure you that i am a Christian and not a Muslim as that we can handle this transaction in a risk free atmosphere that will protect you and me from any breach of the law. "

Already off script on the very first response. Promising. Let's see if it can go farther. I reply:

I spoke with my spiritual guide about your situation. He tells me that the reason you are suffering is because of your devotion to Islam. I showed him your email and that you say that you are a Christian, but he tells me that you Prince Fayad, are a world famous Muslim! I have looked you up on the internet and it is true. You are from a family of famous Muslims and you have lied to me about your faith. So, your word means nothing.

He tells me that no matter what I will try to do to help you that it will be in vain as long as you remain a follower of that misguided faith. He says the only way for you to succeed is if you were a member of our church.

I am sorry that I can not help you, but I must obey my spiritual guide. Please consider leaving Islam which compels you to lie to Christians when it suits your needs.

With deep sadness I write sincerely,

[Continued in a soon-to-be-posted reply.]

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 4:36 pm

[Bait thus far, continued]

Prince Fayad of the Saudi royal family is totally off script by his third email. I am expecting great things from this guy. He's jumped ship from praising Allah into a sort of evangelical Episcopal "warship" literally over night.

He writes:

Dear Pat DuTuschie

How are you and family, I hope this email finds you well and in good spirit. Thank you once more for your email response and the clarification of Christianity and Muslims. Actually, my families are Muslim and I am a Christian. I warship at Saint Anthony Anglican church though I was born a Muslims.

I can’t not lie (Fruedian double negative reveals the truth here.) about my religion just because of money. I serve the living almighty God to whom my children are dwelling in the sea of his abundant grace of almighty God. I read my bible so often that I know the way of Christ and must abide by his ten commandments which states never to have any other God except him.

The bible said that when three are gathered to praise him he will give us a listening ear than thousands of crowd that is full of sins. Shocked

(As quoted in the First Book of Bullshit, apparently. This will surprise any Bible scholars out there.) I am saving the living God who died in the cross of cavalry because of your sin and my sin, and I must assure that I will never warship any man made God or an idle come what may. So in that consideration you have my word that he that is in us is greater than he that is a Muslim. Rolling Eyes

Perhaps, I would want to know more about your church and what is required of me to be a member. I also need your prayers and support as is said in his word knock and the he shall open for you.

My brother, we are one body in the Christ our lord Jesus and nothing can separate me from the way of God. Let me know how you’re church works and its location.
Expect your prompt valued response.
Regards

I love it when lads improvise. His doctrinal understanding of Christianity is based on internet cliches plus large doses of ignorance. He will make a great catechist!

My character has his doubts, but he is hopeful this will work out. I reply:

Are you serious about seeking to join our Church? If so, I will ask my spiritual leader to send me instructions on your catechism. If you were to join with us it would be a serious matter.

Also, please understand that I would be able to help you if you proved your faith by joining, I also would be forbidden by our rules to take any profit from helping a brother. So, if it would still be your desire to share what you are able to save from your treasure you could share it with the Church or in fact with anyone you choose except with me. I would never take a fee from a brother for helping him in his time of need.

Your Highness, I am very excited about the prospect of your joining us. I will forward all of this to the pastoral team as soon as you confirm that you are serious in this and that you will not shy away from full communion with our fellowship. .

God bless you. Amen.

The lad and I both take off for the weekend. This morning I get a reply and it's all I could ask for.

He writes:

Dear Brother

Thank you for your email and i want to reassure you and the church that i am very serious and matter of fact am a Christian and anything here is to bring glory to our lord Jesus Christ. Please forward me the church instructions from the church and i will abide and adhere strictly to the instructions. jump_4_joy

In other words, How can you help me to bring the $30M to your position. I promised to give the church %10 of the $30M. Please contact me as soon as possible so that we can be able to complete the transaction before 20th of this month.

Thank you And May God Continue to bless you and family.

Expect your valued response.

Regards
Prince Fayad Bolkiah

So that's where it stands. I decided to post this to you guys before replying--besides a little bit of anxious waiting never hurt a lad, has it?

Suggestions? Ideas? Any takers?

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:27 am

Ohhhh, I like the potential in this one. I say you get him to prove to you that he isn't a Muslim, by doing things that are completely against Islam. You can start by having him send you pics/video of him eating pork. Which won't be good enough, since you have no way of telling what type of meat he was actually eating. Of course, if he isn't a Muslim in real-life, and just pretending to be one in the first email, then that won't be an issue. Oh! Get him to burn the Quran Twisted Evil

Okay, that might actually get your lad killed in real life, but you could probably get him to stomp on one a few times.

If you actually managed to do that (which I would be very impressed with), I would then swamp him with emails from a bunch of fake lads (I would gladly help out in this, IVE ALWAYSE WANTET TALK IN ALL KAPS!!!!!) who don't take too lightly to the Quran being desecrated. Your character can then "save him" if he just flees his nation to a nearby country. It's the least you can do after all Wink

Alas, that's probably a bit ambitious, but I definitely am curious to see where this is going.

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