Sending old vets into combat?

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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:24 pm

I copied and pasted this from a old vet friend on another board, very funny!!

Quote:

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing butt-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical S.O.B."

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house…away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his neck.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!***

You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhh my Gosh!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They will have it secured the first night!

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Quote:

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:39 pm

I cannot find one thing wrong with any of his logic. Specially the last bit which would in turn nullify some of his reasons but makes perfect sense to me Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:32 pm

I've seen this before and loved it. He's right about putting older women in the service of their country. We could have it ship shape in no time on the borders and maybe high flying in an F-14 Wink

Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:11 pm

There were two women qual'ed on the F-14. One died in the water behind a carrier at night trying to land. Here's a clip of Meagan's qualification from Speed and Angels.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7izl-wOYkPs&feature=related

One in five Naval aviators dies within 5 years.

Edit to add- This my favorite part of the movie. Its captured here at 1:15 and is the sound of a lady at the controls of a F-14.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km17hnaT8vY

Excuse the threadjack.

Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:36 pm

I thought this thread was about old veterinarians going being conscripted. I feel cheated.

Wink

insults and more · Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:51 am

John Scalzi wrote an excellent scifi series called Old Man's War in which Earth inducts only the elderly into its space military.

Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:04 am

I worked with a guy that we called FOS (short for Full Of Something). He was in the US Army reserves when he was called up at the age of 57 for Gulf War One. He was an obese, cocky SOB when he left and came back a changed man. He stopped drinking, exercised everyday, got fired on and had a chance to examine his life. His attitude went from "F you" to "What can I do to help you?"

Maybe they should send only old farts to war.

Master Baiter Joined: 06 Jan 2010 Posts: 154

^^^^^^^^^^^
I've seen similar changes in young, old and those who were desk-bound until recently.

During my last tour, we had an IED that was made out of washing machine parts. It was too volatile, and the area it was in was known to be covered by snipers, so we send in the disposable robot to instigate a controlled explosion.

We'd been sent a kid about 19 who believed he was the hounds hoo-hoos. He wore his aviators almost permanently, and often took his helmet off to do his hair, despite his CO warning him that it was suicidal to do that.

The robot was being controlled by a friend of mine, who gave me a kick, and then nodded towards the young lad, who'd already turned his back on the scene to style his hair again. My mate 'accidentally' set the device off without muting or timing, so it was uber loud, and very powerful, but most of all it was unexpected, and we were all showered in dust and grit.

We thought we'd scared the kid enough as he was white in the face, even after we rubbed the sand and grit off it. Later we discovered he'd been caught with such surprise that he'd pissed himself.

He never took his attention off the subject after that, and from what I hear has actually has become a considerable asset rather than a jumped up poser.

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:24 pm

^^^^ There have been many who worked a carrier deck who got lax and got killed. My hubby used to say when you are on a carrier deck you have to be 200% alert for if you aren't you are going to end up killed, i.e. when an arresting cable snaps, you get sucked in a jet intake, et al.

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