My first bait

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 May 2009 Posts: 62

I'm in blue, the mugu's in red, and comments are black italics. Hopefully this will make it easier to follow.

BMW Certified Winner {Ticket Number********5188}
You emerge a winner of a 2008 BMW X6 XDrive 35 Car and cash prize of
£750,000.00GBP on our online draw dated 11th DECEMBER 2008, To file for
claims, Immediately contact:Mr Elvis Johnson
Contact E-mail:[email protected]
Tel: +447011130644
You are to contact with the following informations for verifications of claim:
*****************************************************************
Full Names:
Contact Address:
Personal Phone #:
Lucky Email Address:
*****************************************************************
Congratulations On behalf of all members of the BMW Lottery Commission Board.
BMW Winning Prize Notification

(So, I'm a winner, eh? I decided to pose as an elderly Katrina evacuee)

I just received a message about a BMW and a bunch of pounds. Is this correct? And pounds of what?

Was this meant for me or was it sent by mistake?

(started off playing dumb)

THE BMW (UK) Ltd Registered Office,
Ellesfield Avenue, Bracknell,
Berkshire, RG12 8TA.
United Kingdom.
FROM:Principal Attorney Zenith Chambers.

Attention: xxxxx,

I write to acknowledge the receipt of your latest mail to this Office.I am Mr Stephan Roberto. Esq of the Zenith Chambers your legal representative, I will procure all the necessary court affidavits,that would enable endorsement by proxy on your behalf, all documents of the Bavaria Motor Works (BMW) International Awards, that would enable the immediate release of your won star prize of 750,000.00 GBP into your nominated bank account in your country, and the release of your 2008 Model 7 Series BMW Car.

Be informed that your won prize is protected by an Insurance Policy which makes it impossible to deduct any charges or remove any copy of the document before handing over to you this is to prevent legal problems in future.

This is in accordance with section 13(1)(n) of the British National Promotion act as adopted in 1993 and amended on 3rd July 1996 by the constitutional assembly. Due to this fact, you are expected to do every thing yourself or BMW promo accredited attorney will represent you.

The cost of contracting an accredited attorney, for the signing of the International payment voucher,is very minimal because this has been subsidised by the BMW International Promotion Organisation. It is on the low side, compared to contracting an attorney from outside. The cost is 0.00012% of your won prize and in this regard, it is interpreted as 250 Great British Pounds(GBPs)

The payment of the document endorsement charges must be made upfront, because it is from this payment that I will swear all the necessary court affidavits that will empower me to act on your behalf, and stamp duties must be paid on the affidavits.Listed below are the Documents that would be procured from the Court:

i.)Affidavit Of Prize Ownership/Claims Authority.
ii.)Authorization Of Representative.
iii.)Affidavit Certificate.
iv.)Memorandum Of Understanding.

Be informed that the time frame to redeem your entitlement is not exactly unlimited, you are thus advised to act fast to enable the immediate completion of remittance procedures.

I will kindly advise you to act fast and get the attorney fee to enable immediate action to commence your document processing.

Congratulations once more!

ZENITH CHAMBERS
Unit4 Delta Way Thorpe Industrial Estate
Egham Surrey TW20 8RX United Kingdom
Tel: +44-702-402-9621

Thanks.
Best Regards,
Mr Stephan Roberto Esq.
Personal Tel: +44-702-402-9621
+44-703-595-7831.
Principal Attorney Zenith Chambers.
THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK.

(mugu switches characters. i want to use this "victim" again so i x'ed out his name)

What am I supposed to do here?

(I still don't get it)

ZENITH CHAMBERS
Unit4 Delta Way Thorpe Industrial Estate
Egham Surrey TW20 8RX United Kingdom
Office Tel: +44-703-594-3367 /Fax :+447005983493

Dear xxx,

I write to acknowledge the receipt of your latest mail to this Office, Prior to your email, I want to inform you that in agreement with my previous letter regarding the documentation of your affidavits of your winnings on your behalf, I advice we proceed immediately with the procurement of your affidavits at the Royal Courts of Justice to enable me meet with the bank immediately to complete the transfer of your fund into your personal account.

In other for me to proceed with the documentation process, you will be require to transfer the total sum of £375 pounds = $570 USD to this office via Western Union money transfer service, You are to locate any western union money transfer office close to you and have the total amount of $570 USD transfer with my informations below:

Receiver Name: Mr Stephan Roberto Esq.
Receiver Address: Unit4 Delta Way Thorpe Industrial Estate Egham Surrey TW20 8RX United Kingdom.
Amount: £375 GBP = $570 USD

Immediately the payment has been made you are to get back to me via email, with the following payment information that will appear on the payment receipt as issued in any of the above offices:

You are to send $570 USD for the documentation of affidavits on your behalf:
Sender's Name:..............................................(as appeared on the receipt)
Sender's Address:...........................................
MTCN:........................................................
Exact Amount Sent:........$570 (£375 GBP)......

Please understand that we have limited time to complete this process, I will advice you do act fast to enable me have enough time to complete this process immediately. I will wait to hear from you as soon as the payment has been transfer, I will communicate with you more often to let you know how I will complete the entire process, the exact time the bank will have the fund transfer to your account, and have the courier company to dispatch your new Bmw Car to your residence.

Acknowledge the receipt of my mail and get back to me immediately.

Best Regards,

Mr Stephan Roberto Esq.
Personal Tel: +44-703-594-3367
Principal Attorney Zenith Chambers.
THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK.

(The mugu didn't waste any time going for the money)

Is there any way you can put up the initial fee and I'll pay you back when the money comes in? I don't get my Social Security check until the end of the month and I don't have the $570 right now.

(The mugu probably doesn't know what Social Security is unless he googled. Shoulda thought of that)

In respect of your email,what really matter most is the payment for these documents,once these are procure,and presented to the bank,you will have your winning funds transfer to your account.

We do not have till month end because winners of this promotion were given just two weeks to make claim of their winnings.

I would suggest you find a way to make this payment to enable me commence on your case.

Acknowledge the receipt of my mail and get back to me immediately.

Best Regards,

Mr Stephan Roberto Esq.
Personal Tel: +44-703-594-3367
Principal Attorney Zenith Chambers.
THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK.

Would it be OK if I hired a lawyer here in the US to handle the paperwork? That way he could front the money if necessary. Please let me know ASAP. Thanks.

Prior to your email,i am writing to let you know that there is no way what you are requesting can be done,i was assign to you by the Bmw AUTOMOBILE COMPANY to make your winnings gets to you,If you are having problems of making the payment,i can only help you by allowing you to make 70% of the payment now and after you transfer,you can send me balance.I am being fair with you sir,this is the only thing i can do for you.

(Wow, this mugu is impatient.)

OK. I'll try to come up with the money as soon as possible. I greatly appreciate your help. I am doing the best I can here, as I am too old to work. I will find someone to lend me the money.

Thanks again,

Good day sir,i await your payment,i have applied for all your document,just waiting for the payment to claim them.

Regards

(OK, I bought some time. Here's a chance to drag my feet for a few days. This was back in December.)

Attn:
Complements of the season,i am writing to you to inform you that that i will soon be out of office because of the on comming xmas and this will make it very hard for you to claim your winnings.
Winners are expected to claim their winnings now till the end of this year and after this time,your winning notification will no longer be valid.
You are require to act fast to claim your winnings before this time.

Acknowledge the receipt of my mail and get back to me immediately.

Best Regards,

Mr Stephan Roberto Esq.
Personal Tel: +44-703-594-3367
Principal Attorney Zenith Chambers.
THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK.

Steven,

I am on my way to the Western Union office right now. I pawned some of my stuff and got $190. Is that 70 perent? If not let me know and I'll send more. I'll keep trying to find the money over the holiday.

(My character isn't very good at math.)

Sir,
The 190 dollars is not up to the 70 percent of the fee,if this is what you have for the now,i suggest you send it as fast as possible so that i can help you with it.

get back to me asap

(Hmmmm, I wonder why he's willing to settle for less.)

i am still waiting for your payment

(Awww, he got back to the office after Christmas and the money wasn't there? I better have an excuse.)

I have some bad news. I got juumped on my way yo Western Union last week. The punks beat me down and took my money. I spent Christmas in the hospital. Those punks today dont' respect nothin'.

Sorry I didn't let you know sooner. The library took a four-day weekend for Christmas. My social security chek comes in Wednesday and I'll send it then. I could get a payday loan but that would only save one day so it's not worth it.

Good day sir,
By Wednesday we do not receive your payment,i will be forced to close your case.

(No compassion. Jackass.)

Good day sir,
I am writing to inform you that if you do not make this payment today as promised,i will withdraw from your case.

Best regards

(Wow, we're really up against a deadline. This was December 31.)

I just got back from Western Union. The payment has been sent.

(Of course I forgot the details)

Good day sir,
Prior to your email,you indicated that you have make the payment required for the procurement of the documents,to be able to confirm your payment and go ahead with your case,please verify your payment by providing me with the payment details and information.

Best regards

Good day sir,to confirm your payment these informations below are to be provided
Sender's Name:..............................................(as appeared on the receipt)
Sender's Address:...........................................
MTCN:........................................................
Exact Amount Sent

i await your payment details.

Best regards.

Name: xxx
Address: 1066 West Addison St, Chicago IL 60613

I sent $570 as you requested. What does MTCN mean?

(Playing dumb always allows for a little more delay. I can go ahead and use 1066 West Addison because if he googles that he'll know it's Wrigley Field/Blues Brothers and the bait will be over)

Good day sir,
The MTCN numbers is also the same thing as the refrence numbers,they are ten in numbers,without this numbers we cannot collect your payment,you find these numbers in the western union payment slip given to you,or you can scan the payment slip and send it to me.

Please do this asap so that we can commence on the procurment immediately

OK, thanks. This is all kind of confusing.

I don't know how to scan something so I'll look up the number for you.
Let me know if you need anything else.

(I'm trying soooo hard to be cooperative.)

Good day sir,
There are no other information,those numbers are only the information i need to confirm your payment,like i said before,they are ten in numbers

(Oh no, did I forget the confirmation number? Why yes I did)

Got it. The number is 0073735963.

(The passcode to go straight to Mike Tyson if you're going nuts trying to remember).

Good day sir,
Prior to the email you send to me about the payment,the numbers you gave to me is incorrect,i dont know what you think this is,if you think this is a kind of a joke,i am sorry to let you know that i am droping your case because you are not serious of claiming your winnings.

Regards

(Uh-oh, he's mad)

This is no joke. That is the number they gave me. I copied it right
off the receipt.

I'm going over to Western Union right now to clear this up. Why would
I not want to collect my prize?

Sir,
I have no time to waste on your case,i am giving you from now till friday to make this payment or i will ask them to terminate your winnings and close your case with me.

(Got him back on the hook, just barely)

Here is a copy of the Western Union receipt. This should have all the
information you need.

(I figured I was about to lose him anyway so I attached a gif that insulted him)

Sir,i could not open the scan copy you sent,please copy and paste the details or rescan again

(Interesting. Not quite over yet.)

Nevermind, I found out why that number was no good. The clerk at
Western union gave me a fake number and stole the money, This is from
today's paper. You should be able to open the file since it's a jpg. I
went to Kinko's for help and they said you should have been able to
open the gif I sent earlier, but that doesn't matter anyway because it
had the fake number.

I'm sorry about this. I promise I'm even more frustrated than you are.
What kind of scumbag coward scams an old man? At least those punks a
couple weeks ago were man enough to rob me to my face. They weren't
punk bitches like this dickhead.

Anyway, given the situation, I need a couple more days if it's at all
possible. However, I need to know one thing. They only way for me to
get the money now is to take a payday loan against my Social Security
check. If I do that I won't be able to pay my rent at the end of the
month. So I need to know, and this is very importnat. If we don't run
into any more trouble, will I have the money by February 1? I don't
want to end up on the street. Chicago is very cold in the winter.

(One of my favorite letters. It insults the mugu "unintentionally" as my character doesn't know the mugu is a thief. It also makes the mugu look like an even bigger scumbag because he's willing to steal an old man's rent money and leave him homeless.)

Sir,
like i have said before,i am tired of replying your emails,i am given you now till next week wednesday to make up this payment.

(Just gimme the money. No compassion. Shocking.)

Good news! I got approved for a payday loan. They said to check back
either Tuesday or Wednesday and the funds would be available. As soon
as I get them I will send the money, but I need to know two things.

First, is there a way other than Western Union? I'm worried about what
happened before. Second, can you promise that I will have my prize
money before the end of the month? I'm using next month's rent money
for this and I'll be out on the street if I don't pay my rent.

Oh, one other thing. Were you able to open the newspaper I sent? The
computer guy needs to know because if you can I'm going to send the
receipt in that format 9whatever that mean>)

Good day sir,
How are you doing today?Your email was acknowledge,and the time request is granted.
You are responsible for slowing down your transfer,as soon as your payment is confirmed,your transfer will done within 48 hours.

I await your payment details....

Best regards
Stephan Roberto

(It almost feels like I'm dealing with a bot here. I decided to switch characters to his gangsta-rapper grandson.)

This is xxx but my boyz call me xxx. I'm
xxx's grandson. He's in the hospital right now and he asked me to
give you a holla. He slipped on the ice and broke his hip yesterday.
He was full of dope...man I wanna break my hip! He said something
about winning a lottery and needing to send money to England but he
wasn't making much sense. What's all this about?

Oh, and I ain't old like Grandpa. I can get around a lot quicker and I
can reply a lot quicker so let me know what to do.

(I guess that was the last straw. The mugu didn't write back)