My first slap

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 7

How'd I do?

Lad Nkoh wrote:

ATTN: JIM,

YOUR MAIL WAS RECEIVED BUT I STILL MENTAIN THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT THE FORM DOSE NOT CONCERN OUR COMPANY. IF THEY WESTERN UNION CLEARK INSIST THAT WE MUST FILL THE FORM THEN GO AHEAD AND FILL IT ON OUR BEHALF.

HOW CAN YOU BE SO DIFFICULT TO PAY JUST $85 USD, WHICH IS OUR SECURITY KEEPING FEE.

MY DEAR, NOT AS IF THERE IS ANYTHING IN FILLING WESTERN UNION FORM BUT WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT FORM THAN FOR YOU TO PAY OUR SECURITY KEEPING FEE AND HAVE YOUR BANK DRAFT.

I EVEN COMPLAINED TO YOU THE OTHER TIME THAT THE FORM YOU EVEN SENT TO US IS NOT CLEAR. IT WAS VERY FENTY. IT IS NOT EVEN READABLE BUT THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE. GO TO ANY OTHER WESTERN UNION ARROUND YOU AND PAY THE FEE THEN WE WILL SEND YOUR BANK DRAFT TO YOUR ADDRESS, PERIOD.

WE WILL NOT DO ANY OTHER THING THAT WHAT I HAVE JUST TLOD YOU. UNLESS YOU DO NOT WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR BANK DRAFT.

WE HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE FOR YEARS AND WE HAVE NOT EXPRINCE THIS KIND OF PROBLEM FROM ANY OF OUR CUSTOMERS. AND I BELIEVE YOUR OWN WILL NOT BE DIFFERENT.

WE ARE LOOKING FOWARD HEARING FROM YOU ASAP WITH THE EVIDENCE OF THE WESTERN UNION PAYMENT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

DR. JIM NKOH.
DIRECTOR GENERAL
GLOBAL TRUST COMPANY
COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC.

Sorgi wrote:

mr nkoh

your demeaner and tone are completely inappropriate for this professional relationship. if you are going to behave irrationally at a simple 2 page form, how can i trust you with this sensitive transaction

the form was crystal clear and high quality, so do not blame that for your laziness. it is not my requirement that you fill out the form it is the united states government. i don't know how your trust companies work in benin, but we are a nation of law here in the united states. that is not to say i am unwilling to bend the rules, but there is no point in ignoring a simple requirement which will bring more scrutiny than we should have.

i would advise you not to reply to me without first being rational and calm. if you cannot be these things, i cannot afford to do such sensitive business with yourself

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 6:45 am

This is a slap :

Quote:

Once again you have dropped the ball; screwed the pooch; blown the donkey; raped the goat. When are you going to get off of your dead asses and get this moving. I'm recalling the funds from Western Union tomorrow and you can go to hell.

(this was addressed to whom I have a strained relationship with as you can sell by my sigi line.)

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:01 pm

There are slaps and there are slaps. Whichever persona you use (assuming it's not just you) determines if you're restrained or profane.

This is one slap, from my retired US Marine:

Quote:

You ever talk to me like that again - EVER - and the deal is off, do you understand? I don't want Lawrence dead. If you can even think that I'm capable of that, then maybe I don't want to do business with you. I know you're under stress. But nothing excuses that sort of slander � EVER. Do you understand me?

Another, from my petulant photomodel:

Quote:

For * sake, stop being such a girlie-man! I can't stand * cry-baby *. Have you got whipped cream for a backbone? When they were handing out balls, were you playing with dolls?
You have to actually do something, not blubber at me!

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 1:01 am

My favorite slap:

Quote:

Content deleted

Mod Edit: Harry showed that he knows plenty of insults and swear words. However, they don't actually make good reading [BB]

And of course he wrote back. Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 3:35 pm

sorgi12--

If for no other reason, slap the crap out of him for him calling you 'my dear' [3rd paragraph down] especially since you are presenting yourself as a male to him. It's no homophobia on my part---it rankles me to have the lads try and work their way under the skin, like a botfly.

cheers----jervis tetch---mad hatter

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 4:36 pm

I totally agree. Slap him harder - you're the only one that can get familiar. Not the lad.
In fact, it is now your duty to address him as "dude", "lovebunny", "honeybunch", "sweetiepie", etc, all the while slapping him if he protests or returns the affection.

And if it's a really good slap, I find signing the e.mail with "Hugs and Kisses" confuses the lad even more.

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 193

I just love dishing out slaps:

Dear Lowell,
As promised, I have today cancelled the payment to Godfrey. It is no longer available for collection. I will be sending that idiot a letter similar to this one so that he knows what a fool he is.
You are just as stupid. Between you, Jim and Godfrey, I must admit, its hard to work out who is the biggest fool. Not one of you is capable of collecting money.
God knows how you even put your own shoes on!!
Why don't you change your job and do something you are capable of? Like feeding goats or work in a zoo where you might find the animals are more your type.
I know you won't reply to this email because you know I'm right about you.
You are a liar, a fraud star, a thief and a fool. I think I might send my boys round to pay you a little visit and break your legs.
Good day
Mr. Benn Nevis