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Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Kdneys are for people who can't afford to purchase the letter 'i'....they are usually the ones who sell a kidney so that they can afford to feed their 'i' addiction.

Strange but true.

Updated tab:

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:24 pm

I'm on mobile blame samsung, I was also hoping you wouldn't notice, I couldn't be bothered changing it Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:01 pm

Quote:

Asking other people questions won't prevent me from charging you. You just won't get an answer.

At the very least I should get a discount since my question wasn't answered. :lol

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

At the very least I should get a discount

True story:

I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a gal who knew a guy who bought scalped tickets to 'Mud Wrestling Pigs of Mayhem!' and then demanded a discount once he got the barn door entrance and found that his illegally purchased tickets didn't work.

It didn't happen for him, either. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 2:43 am

Can you cry under water?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Yes. If you were sad and a fish.

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:46 am

I have been remiss in making at least a casual attempt to remain 'au courant' of what transpires in this rather quixotic thread. I fear that my lack of studious attention leaves me with a single query, upon perusing the previous 3 pages:

WTF?

Also, as near as can be determined at this hour, 85€ as long as the oysters are fresh and the Sancerre a well-chilled 2013.

As you were.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

WTF?

Licking the backs of Amazonian hallucinogenic frogs helps....it doesn't really clarify anything, but you do get the opportunity to experience pretty, sparkly lights.

In honour of 'Fuzzy Pink Sock Monday', the bar is open and JC is buying.

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:49 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

I have been remiss in making at least a casual attempt to remain 'au courant'

http://aucourant.com/

Does Juan really need to use a spray tanner or is his current skin tone acceptable, cool, and hip to society-at-large?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

He doesn't need to but, like many Jersey Shore addicts, he is convinced that he has to.

Mrs. Juan tried an intervention earlier this year.

Alas, it failed, and Juan took to hiding his tanning bottles in the attic.

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 11:15 am

Is this thread too self-referential?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Only before 9 am.

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 5:07 pm

When disassembling dud fireworks, from the previous nights festivities, to form a new and more exotic type of mega firework ........should one be drinking a bitter or lager?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Reverse Engineering Etiquette, as provided by Tommy "Two Fingers" McMahon:

A Bitter is acceptable with ice fountains, flying spinners, parachutes and comets.

Lager is preferable with missile batteries, cakes, torches and fountains.

The uncouth will just stick with PBR.

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 2:07 am

Why do they call it the "Funny Bone", it sure isn't funny when you get hit on it?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

I chalk it up to an error in translation from the Ancient Greek.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 3:04 pm

Is it possible to contract Ebola from the trunk box full of cash that a diplomat will be delivering to me?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Yes! It is possible to contract Ebola from tainted trunk boxes if the steamer trunk is carrying the malle strain of the virus.

This particular strain from the Filoviridae family is so contagious that just looking at a trunk box full of tainted, black money can make the viewer's eyes begin to bleed.

N.O.W. W.H.A.T., a research think tank for the UN's W.H.O., had no comment, and explained that they are busy planning contingencies for worldwide zombie outbreaks.

Thank you for asking, B8er. Saves me the trouble of spamming my friends' FB pages with warnings, or embedding subliminal messages in cat videos on YouTube.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 5:13 pm

^ As a keen subscriber to all sorts of cat videos on YouTube, which of my world views may have been affected by you? Shocked

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

All of them. Especially the ones that initiate internal debate as to whom was sexier - Ginger or Mary Anne.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 5:32 pm

^ Is that even something to be debated though?

It's clearly Ginger.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Yes, it is, Mortal.

The Ginger/Mary Anne debate has led to riots, the destabilization of governments and world-wide famine.

It's clearly Mary Anne

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 5:45 pm

Tsnerd wrote:

It's clearly Mary Anne

Is this how Civil wars are started?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

It was once believed to be a contributing factor, but then it was decided* that the number one cause of civil wars is people letting their dogs poop on their neighbor's yard.

*Also the same group of people that decided Pluto wasn't a planet.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:05 pm

Getting way too political. Laughing

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