Persistent FBI Lad

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Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 4:04 pm

Oh you're good!

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 4:15 pm

A full forty five minutes since I suggested this radical course of action I decide to roll out the big guns:

Quote:

You say my fund is "lawfully signed and stamped". That presumably means a contract of some kind. I'd like to see it please. I have a friend who is a contract lawyer. She's fond of saying there's no such thing as a contract that doesn't have a hole in it. If there's a way round this problem, she'll find it.

He's probably filling his nappy at the thought of what to do to get past this one and me back on-script, looking for 500 Euros from a relative.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The FBI certificate does not have a RSOT so you know it is fake.

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 5:41 pm

Good catch Jayhawk. Silly sneaky lad will need to redo it. It's already worded incorrectly so he might as well try to fix all the mistakes in one sitting. It might take a Mexican standoff to do it but I do think the lad would fix the certificate if enough pressure is applied. I'm fairly certain that he is paying other lads to create these artifacts. Naturally, he wants to avoid spending more money trying to scam this victim but the more time he invests in this the more likely he will just bite the bullet and pay for the docs just to speed things along.

FYI: For those that don't know RSOT stands for Red Seal Of Truth. Those are the red spiky circles placed on documents to prove their authenticity. RSOTs let you sleep better at night. Without them we would live in a world of total chaos Razz

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 8:17 pm

Latest developments. I've demanded to see the contract that tells me I do not have the right authorise my lad to deduct the fee from the fund.

Quote:

Lad: No one have the right to deduct any fee from your Funds!

Me: I must have that right. Surely. And in any case, I would like to see the contract that says I do not, so I can let my lawyer friend see it and tell me if it can be renegotiated.

He disappears again for fifteen minutes and I'm getting fed up with this boi's stubborn unwillingness to play the game so I slap him.

Quote:

Why do you keep disappearing when I ask you questions? Why do you seem to be so incapable of hearing them without vanishing as if you either can't, or don't want to answer them? If you don't have the answers, find someone who does! That's what people do. Not everyone knows everything and the stuff you don't know you either find out or refer to others. Now please do your job and get back to me with either an answer or someone else who can deal with my enquiry. I assume you are not the only one in that office of yours?

An hour later he responds with that patrician judgement and arrogance he's good at dishing out.

Quote:

You’re trying to get someone else involved in this transaction again,
I’ve told you earlier that no one have the right to deduct any fee from your funds,, I don’t like repeating myself Richard!!

I've had it with this tit. I don't care if he drops me now, I'm sick of him behaving as if he's in charge here so I give him both barrels at point blank range.

Quote:

And I don't like you repeating yourself either! The point being that it is all you ever do. You don't answer my questions. You simply make statements in response to my questions and you repeat them again and again as if you don't have anything else to say. I asked you to tell me WHY I have no right to get you to take the fee from my fund. I didn't ask you to simply state that I didn't have that right over and over again. I asked you to let me see the contract where that was stated and you simply ignored my request. I asked you to put me in contact with someone at the African end and you say "You’re trying to get someone else involved in this transaction again" as if you don't like the idea so won't do anything to make it happen.
Well Nick, it's NOT YOUR JOB to tell me what I can and cannot have. You are the facilitator here, not the paymaster. I TOLD you I want to speak to someone who knows more than you do and I demand that you FACILITATE that...as it is your job to do. Now get off your arse, DO WHAT I TELL YOU and stop judging what is best for me!

Is this the end of Little Rico?

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:56 pm

Quote:

I don’t like repeating myself Richard!!

Fuck this low life loser. He either complies or he walks the plank. Arrogant lads shouldn't be allowed to exist so you are doing the world a favor by scaring him straight.

This could be an excellent time for Richard to bow out of the story for a little while. Richard just got word that he was bequeathed a gold mine in Ghana and needs to travel there to sign some paperwork. You can introduce his 14 year old niece into the bait who monitors Richard's email account. She maybe young but she is VERY curious about sexual matters. The lad will inevitably ask her to transfer funds to him on Richard's behalf. The under age girl will complain that the only way that she can produce the funds is if she lets her pervert Uncle take pictures of her naked or she reenacts a "Sophie's Choice" scenario where she can opt to find other girls her age to make a porno. Lads typically ask the minor to take the path of least resistance by posing for the nudes. Sadly, the little girl will come crying back to the lad that her uncle essentially raped her.To make matters worse he withheld any payments to her because she has to pay off some weird initiation fee that nobody told her about beforehand.

The girl could be fearful for her life and decide to runaway. She took a bunch of high value artifacts and the entire petty cash drawer from the church intending to sell them at a pawn shop. Her juvenile thought processes lead her into believing that all will be well if she travels to your lad so they can live together in matrimonial bliss. At this point she could be kidnapped and you can try to get the lad to skim off the top of the ransom demand.

Kidnapping modalities can be fun. It isn't the greatest modality to get a lad on safari but you can force them to do some pretty crazy stuff. The most heavily baited lad here on Eater is probably Hector (The Turd). He was sent everywhere all across Africa and he went on insanely long safaris that lasted several years. He literally disappeared when he was living in Uganda and began travelling to Kenya to catch a flight to Dubai. Hecturd was exposed to countless characters but love interest personas generally existed only one at a time. Except for a little tift between Irina and Sarah but that is a whole other story. The kidnappers demanded that Hector self-circumcise himself in order for his love interest to be released. The jury is still out as to whether or not he actually did it but he did produce pics of his mangled junk next to a pile of hamburger meat (maybe?) that may have been purchased at a grocery store.

I can't condone things of that nature but you might be able to trick your lad into doing some very silly things to either release Richard and/or the niece from their financial obligations. There are so many ways you can take this bait so good luck! Personally, I would continue issuing demands to speak with one of their lawyers. Preferably one that works in one of the many FBI field offices in Africa Rolling Eyes

Then you can get him to make video affidavits and what not. I think it's time to shine the spotlight on this lad!

When the pandemic restrictions are lifted this lad might be a good candidate to run the WIMP modality. WIMP is Western Union Inside Man Protocol. One of your characters says that he works at the corporate offices of WU. He/she is in charge of all transactions and offices in the Africa region. Every year hundreds of transactions go uncollected for a variety of reasons. Maybe a customer that lives in Europe got arrested or needed medical attention while on a vacation safari in Kenya or whatever. That person reached out to their entire support network. One relative wired a thousand bucks via WU to Kenya but was a bit slow in doing so. The distressed travel had already received monies from his parents to fly home. The $1k in Kenya remains unclaimed. As an insider you have the authority to edit the reciever name details but not the city/country of pickup. You convince a lad that you will change the recipient name to that of the lad. All laddy has to do is go to the branch and collect the cash. Obviously, there are no "orphan MCTNs" in the country where the lad lives but there are plenty in that other country...just...over...there. You get the lad to travel there and then let your character get arrested for imbezzlement or whatever. Good times.

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 6:49 am

I like the kidnapping idea but for the moment I've tried to rekindle things with laddy as I was SO hard on him. Evil or Very Mad

I still want to mess with this pondlife so I have to eat humble pie. It's all for the greater good though...a lad whose life is being mangled.

Quote:

Good morning Mr Davidson. I want to apologise for my outburst last night. It was uncalled for. I know you're only doing your job and do not deserve to be shouted at by me or anyone else. I'm not making excuses but please remember I was jailed the day before. That was a very unpleasant experience and it put me a bit on edge and I took it out on you. I'm sorry.

On a more positive note, not long after I wrote to you I got a call from my German cousin, Helene Ri3fenst@hl, who said that she would not loan me the fee, she would simply give it to me. So that bit is taken care of now. Can I get Helene to email you to ask you for payment details as she will be sending you an eCheque for the 500 Euros (A cheque that will get this boi into a lot of trouble with the German Bundespolizei)

And so chummy is lined up for an encounter with my Nazi cousin, a rabidly fanatical member of the "Deutschen Herrenvolk". (German Master Race)

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 7:16 am

It would be funny if the rabid Nazi relative has been more or less living "underground" for many years due to affiliations with war crimes. The relative felt obligated to help Richard despite instincts to the contrary. Psycho Nazi is arrested at the bank when facial analysis software identifies them via the CCTVs. They are hauled off to Isreal to face trial. Neo-Nazi hate groups are alerted by a corrupt police officer that YOU were responsible for getting one of their leaders arrested. Mr. Fake Lad in "DC" but really in Benin best watch his back. Skinheads are not nice people. The Third Reich does not take kindly to tattletales!

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:20 am

Chummy accepts my apology. I knew he would because when push comes to shove, he's in this game for the money so he doesn't have the luxury of binning me because I was rude!

Quote:

Lad: I was very mad at you,,(you were meant to be sonny boi) that’s why I didn’t respond to your messages.
I accept your apologies,, and I’m sorry for you being jailed. (That's big of you).
I don’t want your lawyer to be part of this transaction,, (I wonder why that is?) that’s what I mean when I said I don’t want you to involve anyone in this transaction again. (I'll involve whoever I damned well please, shit-for-brains)
Once I delivered your ATM Card to your doorstep,, then you can tell your lawyer about it.
Why don’t your cousin send the money to you,, then you’ll pay the fee by yourself so that your name will be on payment receipt. (Because that wouldn't make your life anything like difficult enough, boi)

Me: It's better if Helene pays you directly because it avoids losses caused by the exchange rate (the pound has dropped a lot against the Euro since Brexit happened at the end of January) and me having to pay a fee to cash the cheque myself because it's in a foreign currency. I'd then have to pay the MoneyGram fee to send it to you. I could lose up to a £100! If it goes straight to Africa there will be no loss to anyone as the cheque is already in Euros.

Lad: Alright. So should I give you the details then you’ll give it your cousin by yourself. Or you want your cousin to contact me?

Me: I'll get my cousin to contact you. It'll be easier and quicker than relaying everything through me. I'll let her know.

Lad: It’s up to you (Yes it is, and don't you forget it you arrogant little turd).

Me: I should point out at this stage that my cousin Helene has some fairly extreme political views so please don't be offended if she says things or makes references that sound offensive. It's just her way and she doesn't really mean any harm. (Oh yes she does. She'd put chummy here in a gas chamber as quick as look at him)

The game's afoot! Cool

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:37 am

My rabid Nazi stormtrooper cousin gets in touch with our hero in very broken English:

Quote:

Liebe Herr
I haff been told by mein cousin in England zat you haff ein grosse qvantity off money für him und zat you need to haff eine fee sent to you für its delivery. Dis fee ist funf hundert Euros, ja?
Vere is dis geld to be sent? I need ze name und addresse of der mann who is taking ze payment.
Vunce you haff given me dis addresse I vill send him eine eCheque. All he needs to do ist print it out und take it to ze bank, ja?
I vill vait für your urgent reply.

Heil Gürtzmann!! (A "Man in the High Castle" reference) Cool

Helene Riefenstahl
Grüppenführer SS
Ostpreußen
Grossdeutsches Reich

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:54 am

Chummy gets back to my Nazi cousin. Unfortunately, he's a thick as shit in the neck of a bottle and cannot get past his obsession with MoneyGram and Western Onion. Helene told him she would be sending an eCheque. He's going to regret getting this wrong...Nazis aren't known for their tolerance of the shortcomings of others:

Quote:

Send the required fee to the below information

Receivers Name: ****** *****
Country : Benin Republic
City : Cotonou
Amount: 500£ (so now it's Pounds rather than Euros is it lad? Christ, this boi is a dense as a whale pie)
Text question: when
Text answer: Today

You’re only required to send the money through MoneyGram or western Union or Ria.
Then Get back to your cousin with the payment receipt and the tracking number of your payment.

I try to put him right before Helene's ire is loosed upon him.

Quote:

She's going to need an email address Mr. Davidson. I told you she was going to send an eCheque. She cannot do MoneyGram or Western Union as she is in an underground military facility in North Eastern Germany.

Oh oh! Too late:

Quote:

Herr Davidson
I told you in meine lezte email dat I vas going to send an eCheque in payment off dis fee. Are you some sort off untermensches dummkopf zat you didn't understand vat I said? Give me ein email addresse. Zere vill be no MoneyGram oder Vestern Union payment. I am in ein militärisches bunker und cannot just leave to go to ze fucking supermarkt!!

Heil Gürtzmann!!

Helene Riefenstahl
Grüppenführer SS
Ostpreußen
Grossdeutsches Reich

And here we have the usual bullshit about Africa being different to everywhere else:

Quote:

Lad: eCheque Doesn’t work in Africa,, so there’s no way for them to receive money through eCheque
MoneyGram
Western Union
Ria
Bitcoin
That’s the only option left
Or tell your cousin to send you the money through eCheque,, then send it down to Africa government by yourself.

Me: You gave me various bank accounts a couple of weeks ago so a cheque can be cashed. It is only called an eCheque because it is sent by email. The receiver prints it out and takes it to the bank to present it just like an ordinary cheque.
And why are you telling me all this? Tell Helene. She's the one who's doing this. I also told you that if I got the eCheque it would cost me up to a hundred quid to cash it, convert it and send it. That's not happening because I can't afford it.

This is one lazy shitbag I've got here. Mad

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 10:20 am

Your rabid Nazi character reminds me of a "Greatest Hits" bait involving the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. Bork Bork fur de fur de fur. The chef had to make an emergency trip to "me Sweedee (Sweden)" because one of the chef's relatives died from a tragic yet overly complicated "Moose-Based" accident.

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=119085

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Feb 2019 Posts: 163

Oh, so funny - Do these guys read any books in school at all? All the Nazi references are a dead giveaway that this is a joke...Ostpreussen ceased to exist 1945 and the names and titles....hilarious. Laughing

Edit: I just invented a new title for a German official...Oberhauptbahnhof Smile

(assembled from Ober=über=head and Hauptbahnhof = Central rail station)

Feel free to use Smile

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:00 am

He's not got back to me since I put him straight about what an eCheque is. He's probably off somewhere consulting with another Einsteinian intellect to find out what account and email address he needs to give Helene for him to get his paws on the loot.

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:02 am

I love it Scrutinizer! I'll use that one on Chummy. Thanks. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:33 pm

Chummy is dragging his feet so Helene is on the case:

Quote:

Herr Davidson
Vere is zat email addresse I need? My cousin told me you vere keen to get zis fee sehr schnell. Vy are you taking so long? I am a busy voman and I haff better sings to do zan spend my day emailing you ven you are ze vun who vants ze fucking money!!
If had you in my command I vould haff you scrubbing latrines for a munce für ihnen inefficiency! Dem Deutschen Herrenvolk vill one day show you how it ist done!

Heil Gürtzmann!!

Helene Riefenstahl
Grüppenführer SS
Ostpreußen
Grossdeutsches Reich

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 2:04 pm

This fruit loop is as thick as two short planks and twice as wooden. He contacts me, not Helene:

Quote:

Lad: I’ve contacted the State origin of your funds and they told me that eCheque doesn’t work in their country.

Me: Tell that to Helene Mr Davidson, she's the one who needs to know. Do ordinary cheques work in their country? If so, tell her that too. She may be able to send an ordinary cheque

Lad: I’ve told your cousin about that

Me: No. A PAPER cheque.

Meanwhile, Helene gets an email from mince head:

Quote:

Lad: eCheque Doesn’t work in Africa,, so there’s no way for them to receive money through eCheque.
The only way to send the money is by using one of the mention’s below.:

MoneyGram
Western Union
Ria
Bitcoin

I’ve contacted the State origin of Richard funds and they told me that eCheque doesn’t work in their country. (So you've said, dummkopf!)

Helene responds, rather more calmly than might be normally expected although with a slightly patronising tone:

Quote:

Herr Davidson
Forget ze eCheque zen. I vill send you an ordinary cheque, you know, vun made of ze paper, ja? Vere do I send it?

Heil Gürtzmann!!

Helene Riefenstahl
Grüppenführer SS
Ostpreußen
Grossdeutsches Reich

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 5:28 pm

After a few hours of letting this lad stew in his own juices, he gets back to me:

Quote:

Lad: Richard tell your cousin to send the money to you.
I’ll explain to the government that you used 100£ for the charge.
Then you’ll send them the money by yourself through money gram or bitcoin.
But you said,, you don’t like using bitcoin.
I also told your cousin to send the money to you.

Me: Does this mean you only want 400 Euros now?

Lad: You aren’t sending the money to me ! (Yes I think I understand that much) I’m just thought that would make everything easier. Because they don’t know about eCheque

Me: It doesn't matter where it's going. The point is, is 400 Euros what is now wanted since it'll cost 100 for me to do the necessary?

Lad: Yes send them the 400,, I’ll explain to them why the money wasn’t complete. (Well, you don't see that every day. A lad volunteering to take less than the full fee in order to help out the mark. I must have got to him) Razz

Me: Well that's very kind, I'm sure. But if you can forget the idea of the eCheque and just think about a normal paper cheque that could be cashed in a bank in the usual way, the full 500 could be sent. I don't want anyone out of pocket. (And I don't want to lose out on setting Interpol loose on this lad for having received money from the Nazis) Twisted Evil

Lad: (He's just too thick to understand this) But they can’t cash the eCheque in their own bank,, it’s not working there

Me: It's NOT an eCheque. It's a normal PAPER one!
Lad: Richard cash it yourself and send the money to them. (Being this stupid must be as much of a handicap as losing a fucking arm!) banghead

Me: (Back to square one with this moron) But that means the conversion fees, the exchange rate loss and the MoneyGram fee meaning you'll only get 400! If the PAPER CHEQUE is sent directly to Africa, no one loses anything!

That's too much for this bear of little brain. He's gone dark again because he just can't get his tiny head around this complex concept. Razz

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 6:10 pm

You could freak him out by telling him that you just got a job as a "payment coordinator". A very nice fella in Nigeria emailed you about an open position in his company. They sell masks, gloves, and other medical supplies and the COVID-19 outbreak has increased sales to astronomical levels. The company used to only do business in Africa but the demand for its products is extremely high in Europe. Your job is to take money from European customers and forward 90% of it to the home office in Lagos. The remaining 10% is your salary.

Unfortunately there were some upfront costs you had to pay to get the position. Fortunately for you the Nigerians accept eCheques so you sent them the money your relative gave you. Lad shouldn't worry though. Your generous relative gave you 1,000 Euros. You asked the Nigerians to do you a favor by wiring your lad 500 Euros via WU. The other 500 pays your employer's fees. Problem solved! You already paid the Nigerian the 1,000 and your boss should be contacting the lad soon to get the transfer done.

Your lad should be pissed that a rival scammer made you a mule and stole that 1,000 Euros. You weren't planning to get a job but a man's gotta eat! If your lad wasn't dragging his feet you'd be rich by now so it's all HIS fault Cool

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 6:43 pm

I tell my lad how to receive this revolutionary paper cheque:

Quote:

Me: Just send the email address of the receiver to Helene and we'll get this done tonight!

Lad: Richard send your postal address to Helene and receive the money by yourself then use moneyGram and send the fee to government with your name. (Now he's really getting on my tits)

Me: Why won't you understand this? I TOLD you if I cashed it myself I'd lose £100. If Helene sends a PAPER CHEQUE directly to the Africans, I won't lose anything and the Africans will get 500 Euros instead of 400. Why is that so impossible for you to get!?

Lad: I’ve already told them it will cost you 100£ to send the fee so they know you’ll be sending 400£,, so give your postal address to your cousin and receive the money yourself. (Prepare yourself now for a real whopper. This guy is due a serious kicking for this one)
They said their bank can’t cash PAPER CHEQUE,, so you’ve to use moneyGram. Use 100 out of the 500

Me: (I set about him and slap him hard). Now come off it Nick. There isn't a bank on the planet that won't cash a cheque. That is one of the main things banks do. If you don't want the full 500 Euros that's fine but don't insult my intelligence by telling a ridiculous lie like that. I'm offended you thought you could get away with it. It's farcical. In fact, I've had enough of your wilful stupidity for one day. I'll get back in touch tomorrow. Goodnight!

Tomorrow I'll present him with a fait accomplis and send him the eCheque whether he likes it or not. He'll be told that's all he's getting so he'd better make the most of it. Then Interpol will be on the case of the rogue FBI man who's taking money from the Nazi Party in Berlin. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:04 pm

I know your lad is pretending to live in DC and wants you to send cash to West Africa but you could always snail mail him a cashiers check or iTunes card (lads love those) to the FBI headquarters in DC. Laddy already provided the address on that "inheritance" Rolling Eyes

certificate. The excuses lads give to explain why that won't work can be pretty hilarious.

It would be cool if you could get him to provide you his actual address in Africa somehow. Lads lie by default but if they know that you are going to mail them something of value they tend to pull through by giving correct information. One funny tactic is to tell the lad that you are sending him cash and/or a gift card through the post. Then you actually for reals send him an envelope that was clearly tampered with given that the bottom of it was completely slit open. If a rival lad/gang you invented has been taunting your lad for a while then you can put a sticky note in the envelope that says "tanks 4 da moonie u mugu...I chopt yo dolla fool. OOOOOOOOH".

Postal services in West Africa are a crap shoot in terms of reliability. Sometimes the lads recieve the envelope, sometimes they say they didn't because the lad either lied about his location or was too embarrassed to admit that he was chopped. Oddly enough, some lads will tell you that they actually received the money but it just so happens that the fees for whatever he is offering to you just went up in price so you need to send more cash.

If you are baiting multiple lads and it turns out that 2 of them live in the same area you can ask one of the lads to deliver something to the other lad. Arguably the second most baited lad is nicknamed "Shorty". He was promised millions to write screenplays for big time movie studios in "the Hollywood". Nothing ever seemed to work out for him for some weird reason but he was desperate for money. He was also being tormented by Mr. Gomer...the head of the nefarious yet imaginary Gomerboyz gang. The Gomers managed to steal Shorty's movie script and sold it to Spielberg for millions. Shorty wrote the script for Michael Bay but didn't know about the theft at first. I think Shorty was submitting his screenplay to his agents when it was stolen so the Michael Bay studio had no clue about the content of the script. Needless to say Shorty was shunned from "the Hollywood" because he tried to plagiarize an existing script. Mr. Gomer thanked Shorty for the opportunity but the lad was weapons grade pissed. Mr. Gomer said that he would make it up to him by sending one of his gang members to Shorty's house to deliver a manilla envelope filled with cash. In reality the baiter found a lad to go to Shorty's home and leave an envelope at his doorstep. Obviously, there was zero cash inside. The Gomers are a collective so they host an annual "paypot" party where all the spoils for that year are divvied up equally among the members. Shorty constantly complained that the paypot party was always too far for him to travel to. Therefore, unbeknownst to Shorty, Mr. Gomer decided to host the current year's paypot at Shorty's house. Shorty only knew that a gang member was going to drop off some cash for him. When Shorty saw the envelope he was estatic. Sadly his hopes were dashed when he opened it and saw that it only contained a couple hundred fliers that advertised that the paypot was to be held at Shorty's place complete with a map to his house and the most effeminate picture of him that he did during a photo montage in hopes to become an actor. Shorty's response to Gomer was pure gold as he said that he was so excited when he saw the envelope on his porch but he was quickly reduced to tears when he saw its contents. He literally said that tears were streaming down his face when he opened it. I absolutely love it when lads cry. The lad that delivered the envelope also hung fliers all around that area to advertise the party. Several Eater members blasted the flier to hundreds of lads in the region. Unfortunately, Lagos experienced torrential rain the night of so nobody knows if any other lads showed up.

Sorry for the long winded post but I recently finished reading that bait so the details are relatively fresh in my head. For obvious reasons please refrain from activities that involve a lad travelling to another lad. Social distancing and all. Eventually things will revert back to normal so you can "stred" lads in far off lands.

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 6:59 am

I constantly marvel at the intricacies of some of these baits. I don't know how people have the time to come up with them. This one of mine is my first real bait in a couple of years and the only reason I'm able to do it is because Coronavirus has meant I'm working from home...but not very much.
I like the idea of the iTunes card and I've discovered you can get a 500 Euro one so I might "send" him that. Of course there'd be problems with the delivery.
The other idea I had was to threaten to send my Nazi cheque directly to the FBI headquarters in Washington and at the same time raise a complaint about him telling me lies about an African bank being "unable" to cash a cheque... "This is why I've sent you this cheque in payment for my ATM card delivery". The lad blundered in that he put his FBI office address on that certificate he sent me. I'll tell him that as a result of that and his unwillingness to cooperate with me, his cheque is going straight to his boss in the USA and wait to see his reaction.

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:57 am

When the moment is right, maybe you can tell him that you'd sent the cheque to his superiors in Washington, but only after you've posted it.

Here are some examples of what happened after that...

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2301698&highlight=benin#2301698

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2406856&highlight=posted#2406856

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 8:09 am

I've had enough of chummy's stupidity. I've decided to threaten him with complaining to the Integrity and Compliance Director of the FBI to whom I will send his cheque if he doesn't shape up and accept it himself:

Quote:

Me:
Good morning Mr. Davidson

Lad: Hi Richard

Me: I have decided to take matters into my own hands. Unless you cease this nonsense of insisting that a bank cannot cash a cheque and accept it in payment of the full 500 Euros for my ATM card, I will have no choice but to send the attached letter, and the cheque, to the FBI Headquarters in Washington DC. This is your last chance to do the right thing, Nick. It's up to you.

The text of my complaint is as follows:

Quote:

Catherine Bruno (She's real)
Assistant Director
Office of Integrity & Compliance
FBI Headquarters
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Dear Ms Bruno
I am writing to complain in the strongest terms about the conduct of one of your Probationary Agents. His name is Nick Davidson and his ID number is FN 03 A015.

On March 23rd, I received a Google Hangouts message from Mr Davidson telling me I was eligible for compensation in the amount of $10.5m as I was scammed some years ago by African criminals. Since that date I have attempted to send the 500Euro fee Mr Davidson required for the delivery of the ATM card onto which this fund is loaded, in various ways. He was very insistent that the fee be sent using either Western Union, MoneyGram, Ria, or, most surprisingly of all, Bitcoin. For various reasons none of these attempts succeeded. I then suggested bank transfers. Mr Davidson provided me with various accounts, some in Africa and some in the USA. All of these were either blocked or red-flagged by yourselves at the FBI.

In the end I suggested sending an eCheque to cover this fee. Agent Davidson told me that African banks could not cash these. I thought that unlikely but plausible. I then suggested I send an ordinary paper cheque. He pretended not to understand that idea and continued to say that an eCheque was no good. When I pressed the matter on the paper cheque, he finally told me that the bank could not cash one of those either.
This was clearly a lie and I told him so.

I have now decided the best thing to do is send the paper cheque directly to you in payment of the fee, bypassing Mr Davidson, who is obviously up to something, hence my complaint. Please find enclosed therefore, my cheque in payment of the fee, reference, #FBI# 756/67/20. I look forward to receiving my ATM card.

Regards

Richard So@le.

Let's see if this puts a fire under his arse! Wink

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 10:25 am

He's still trying to bullshit me. But now he's upped his game and is going for the full monty...blackmail!:

Quote:

Lad: If you really want to receive this ATM Card worth $10.5 million,, you’ve to listen and follow up my guidelines.
Hope You’re aware that your ATM Card has already gotten to the deadline in our head-office, but I kept your Card safe on my own personal office, because I don’t want you to lose the Card after all the stress you’ve been through. (You're all heart, boi)
I’m handling all this in my power for few delays now, since I kept your card in my office.
If you email the headquarter about the Card,, trust me,, you’ll lose the ATM Card forever,, because I was ordered to send the card to USA treasury department as unclaimed funds. (And there it is...do what you're told, or else)
But I kept it safe for you
If send that paper 📝 (Complete with emoji to make sure I understand what he means)
to the headquarter you’ll end up losing the ATM CARD,, I swear with my life.

Me: So now you're blackmailing me?

Lad: No I’m not. I’m telling you the fact !

Me: Well then what would YOU call it. You tell me if I don't do as you say, you'll "lose" the card. THAT'S BLACKMAIL! and it's ALL going to be added to that letter, I swear with MY life. You'll not only lose that fee, you'll lose your job and your liberty. This reprehensible behaviour will put you in jail.

He calls my bluff.

Lad: Alright. Go ahead!!!

Me: (Still trying to keep this sinking ship afloat) So you don't want the fee do you?

Lad: You aren’t sending the fee to me,, have that in your head ! (Of course boi. Whatever you say boi) Rolling Eyes

Lad: You don’t appreciate me because you never know how much risk I took because of you. (You're my hero, you really are!)
Did you think it’s easy for me to keep the Card in my office??

Me: Not easy to keep a card in your office?? It's a fucking CARD!! You could hide it in your wallet for God's sake!! You talk about risk? What risk? I was the one who was fucking jailed over this crap! I think you are taking the fee. Is that why you gave me two different African names to send the fee to? Your partners in crime? That's why the insistence on untraceable methods of payment...Western Union, MoneGram and Bitcoin for God's sake! That's why you don't want a cheque. That's why you told that insultingly stupid lie about an African bank not being able to cash one. You didn't want a traceable method of payment. You're siphoning off the fee for yourself and your dirty little African pals.
This entire transcript of your confessing to ransoming my card is going to Washington. I promise you that. You'll have to live in Africa yourself if you don't want to be jailed for twenty years.

But now the penny begins to drop for me Razz

Quote:

Me: Hang on a bloody minute...
You DO live in Africa, don't you? You are the African guy I was supposed to send the fee to. You're not in the FBI at all. That's why you said "go ahead" when I said I was sending the letter to the FBI HQ. It doesn't matter to you if it's sent because you're not there and you're not in the FBI!!
So you're a scammer, aren't you? You have been all along. There was no fund and the fee was for you. WASN'T IT???!!!
And I lost a grand over it!
You BASTARD!

I try to turn the tables on chummy, because this bait is dead in the water now. Laddy wasn't going to play ball so I had to go for broke and try a new tack.

Quote:

Me: There is a positive to this though. I now know you're a scammer but that could be turned to our mutual advantage.
My uncle, the Reverend Goosecreature, is worth a fortune. He's also not got all his marbles, as you know.

Lad: I’m NOT A SCAMMER for Christ sake! (your defence is pitiful boi. I knew you were a scammer on day one).
I’ve your ATM Card worth $10.5 million,, in my office!! (Blah, blah blah)

Me: Oh stop pretending. I know you are but that's not a problem. Now let me think about this. If we team up here, we can both do very well out of the fact that my uncle will do anything I ask

Lad: Don’t ever insult me again!!

Me: Shut up and listen you idiot. This could make us both millionaires.
If my uncle believes I'm setting up a church in Africa and you are the guy doing the work on the ground, I can get him to send money to you £10,000 at a time. We split the cash. £5,000 each for each transaction.

Sound good Godson? That is your name isn't it? (The name I was always told to Westie the money to).
It's a damn sight more than 500 Euros I think you'll agree.
The last time I looked, my dotty uncle was worth about £7 million.
Now cease the bullshit defence of "I'm not a scammer". Of course you are. You know it and so do I. So let's park that and start making some REAL money for ourselves...from the Reverend Goosecreature.

Lad: (this is getting silly...maybe he really believes he is in the FBI!) I don’t know what you’re talking about,, I’ve a job I can’t do that transaction with you! I’m sorry.

Me: Oh stop it you wanker. You're no more an FBI man that I am. Admit it and we can move on to better things. Stop being such a small boi.
Are you REALLY happy making small and uncertain scores by telling that bullshit story about the ATM card?
Why not make some PROPER money. With me!

Come on Godson, you know you want to.

But he didn't. He then goes right back to the start and begins again...as if nothing had happened. My character Richard has done this to our hero once before and as I mentioned right back at the start of this bait, the lad recognised he'd already spoken to me at some time but, despite that encounter also ending with me calling him a scammer, he seems to just forget that and carry on as if it'll turn out differently this time. Some baiter who's better than I needs to tackle this lad...(fbi.specialagent.nickdavidson AT gmail.com). I just couldn't make him jump high enough. Sad

I could bait this lad in exactly the same way again and he'd behave as if it was his first time with me!...like Groundhog Day.

Quote:

Lad: Whenever you’re ready to receive your compensation ATM Card worth $10.5 million,, get back to me!!

But not this time...

Quote:

Me: Oh shut the fuck up you moron.