Poverty Sucks: NAMBLA Prison Blues (7/5)

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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 2:15 pm

Quote:

please mis understand me concerning what just said

No problem there, Joe. None of us could understand a word you say if it really were a life or death situation. Reminds me... I need to find the time to solicit a mentor and run that series of baits where my character's monitor is incapable of displaying capital letters. I expect to receive a lot of blank E-mails with that one... Wink

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:55 pm

I am going to be livid if this little twerp thinks he can just take a fake oversized novelty check and disappear into the ether.

Quote:

Jude Joe:

By now, I'm sure you have gotten the news that your friend, Molly Ringwald, died on Saturday. I just got back from the funeral, and it was a touching service. The Reverend Al Sharpton gave a wonderful eulogy that really spoke to all of us here at NAMBLA.

Joe, I must confess that I am a little confused as to what Molly sent you last. Nobody has the passwords to get into her email account, so anything you might have sent her over the past week has been lost. Because of your deep poverty, I must ask if you received your funds. Did you get the $4000USD?

Joe, please let us know how things are going for you. Most of us are still reeling from Molly's demise, but please don't think for a second that we have stopped wanting to touch you in your special place.

Sincerely,
Matt Foley,
CEO and President
NAMBLA, Inc.

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 7:42 pm

All-right!!! Joe is back on board, and isn't any less painful to read!!!

Quote:

hellow sir thank u for reply ,sorry for the sad news i just recived from u ,sir i must confess to u that am shock about the sad new ,what a caring ,loving ,understanding woman ,who have rising my dead hope when she that she is read to help me and my family from horrible pain of life of hunger and lack ,so sir am speechless for i dont wrer to start from itsseem that all life hope is gone ,WELL SIR am very sorry for ever since madam did not reply me it sem that my hope have lost for my family been asking how about the u say that willing to help us out from this horrible pains of life i told that she hat reply me since 3rd of march ,that is the reason why i say to u to tell madam molly to reply me for ever since u amd madam did not reply me is seem that our have lost can u immagine common to eat we find it very difficult for us i have written to molly many ocasions but no reply ,well sir once again and again am very sorry for death of madam molly may our god will keep her in his bossom amen . sir i must confess to u madam molly have not sent us any money ,i know that when i tell my family that the woman that have agree to help us out from this horrible pain has die the lament and say so our hope is gone but sir i bielive with u in our life again things will work out for us again thank and god bless u sir god bless u for remebering me again please what next please tell me for madam molly has not send us any money please am sorry ,sorry sorry for her death may GOD GIVE HER PERFECT REST AMEN PLEASE REPLY ME FOR ME TO KNOW OUR HOPE AGAIN THANK FROM JOE AND THE FAMILY ,OH WHAT GREAT LOST ME AND U NAMBLA PEOPLE

What a tool.

Quote:

hellow sir am sorry once again and again this the last mail send to me on 23rd of marchJude Joe!

Blessings of the season! How is the famine going, ok I hope? First I must correct you, as Matt Foley is most definately not a woman. He is a chisled rock of masculinity who has been feeling up young boys for years.

Secondly, how much money have you spent so far on pictures? NAMBLA is willing to reimburse you for your efforts. Please send us an itemized list of your expenses so that we can file it with our 351(i) and 419(f-u) forms for tax year 2005.

Thirdly, we at NAMBLA would like to issue you your money in the form of a giant oversized novelty check. We have discussed the Western Union option, but we feel that it may not be risky-free enough for us at this point. To assist you, we have enclosed a template that you can take to any local print shop and have made into a large posterboard "cheque" at least 100cm by 300cm. We would be delighted to reimburse you for the expense of having it printed and your photo taken holding it. Obviously, we would prefer to give you this check in person, but your financial needs clearly cannot wait.

Alternatively, you could fly to the United States, and we could pick you up from the airport. Matt Foley is already talking with NBC about doing a bit on you for the Today show. We would love to show the country the diffrence we made by touching you in your special place.

Sincerely,
Molly Ringwald thank joe and the family please reply for me to know our hope again and thank god bless u

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 4:20 pm

I'm beginning to think that Jude Joe is trying to take NAMBLA for a ride!

Quote:

Jude:

You wrote in one of your last emails that:

what next please tell me for madam molly has not send us any money please am sorry ,sorry sorry for her death may GOD GIVE HER PERFECT REST AMEN PLEASE REPLY ME FOR ME TO KNOW OUR HOPE AGAIN THANK FROM JOE AND THE FAMILY ,OH WHAT GREAT LOST ME AND U NAMBLA PEOPLE

I have reviewed our ledgers of charitable donations and see that a check for 4,000USD was written to you and your family on 3/24. I have called the bank and they tell me that the check had been cashed on 3/31 at a local Lagos Bank. Therefore, I must question you as to why you are telling me that you have not recieved any money when it is abundantly clear that you have.

Sincerely,
Matt Foley,
CEO and President
NAMBLA, Inc.

What does the little weasel douche-bag say to this?? It doesn't take long to find out.

Quote:

hellow sir thank u for ur reply , sir havean and earth know that i have not recieved any money ,how will collect the money i will send letter of thank that i have recieved the money u people send to me . sir please do me a favour and contact the bank on which name the person use to collect the money , god will punish me if i have collect the money and say i did not collect,well i wish that madam molly is alive to clearify u people that on how far we have gone ,please sir between GOD AND MAN ,HEAVEN KNOW THAT I HAVE NOT COLLECTED ANY MONEY,please contact the bank and let them tell u on whose name the money was collected,for there is a name i gave madam molly before she die please ,please please ,is only GOD WILL BEAR WITNESS ,PLEASE CONTACT THE BANK FOR I DID NOT RECIEVED ANY MONEY FOR MY MAIL PASSWORD IS WITH ME ALONE
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY ,how i wish molly is alive

and then, he attaches a picture of the "check" to this next one.

Quote:

hellow sir this mail send to me on 23march 2005 for am confuse for she when she send the money that she will give me the controll number and the password but she has not ,but i have seen a check 4000usd but no controll number ,this in my box view it very well u will see what am talking about thank joe

Note: forwarded message attached.

Control number and password? For a check? Are you seriously this stupid, Joe? Wait... don't answer that.

Quote:

Blessings of the season, Joe!

First of all, let me thank you for your very sharp eye! Indeed, our internal auditing department has been involved with many hand jobs recently and they have determined that no money was paid out of the check that was sent to you. Becuase of that, I have ordered that a STOP PAYMENT order be placed on the check. Without your keen insight, Joe, NAMBLA could have lost $4000 dollars! We are all in your debt!

Because I know that its what Molly would have wanted, I have begun a no holes barred penetrating fund raising campaign for you and your family. Currently, we are trying to solicit donations from one of our biggest contributors, the famous singer Michael Jackson. Because he is so preoccupied with legal battles right now, we need something to let him know of the urgency of your situation. that is why I must ask for you to send us a picture of you wearing your "NAMBLA PRIDE" shirt, with a sign that says exactly "MICHAEL JACKSON, PLEASE FEEL MY NARDS" Such a picture would be sure to get his attention, and a VERY generous donation on your behalf. Please let me know what you think.

Also, take a look at the money we have raised for you so far. Don't give up hope, Joe! Help is on the way, from all of us here at NAMBLA!

Sincerely,

Matt Foley

My sincere thanks to Nadnerb for hooking me up with the electronic sign modality! I'm lovin' it!

*** BANNED *** Joined: 26 May 2004 Posts: 402 Location: NL

ah, funny stuff, bait on Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:34 pm

Joe is full of promises, but I don't see the big savings!

Quote:

hellow sir do u believe me that i did not recieved any as i said ,well please sir i will look for to to do it as u just said please latest by tuesday next week i will send it to please try and help us out GOD BLESS U
THANK JOE

Then I get this cryptic gem.

Quote:

WELL SIR AM CONFUSE ABOUT EVERY THING DID U KNOW THIS MAIL ADRESS
[email protected] FOR THE PIC I SEND MOLLY THIS MAIL RETURN IT TO ME PLEASE REPLY ME FOR KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON THANK JOE

Seriously, Joe. You probably shouldn't have been sleeping through your remedial written English exams. Also, people aren't donating to the Jude Joe cause like I had hoped. Let's see if he can go the extra mile for NAMBLA!!

Quote:

Jude Joe:

I am very confused. What is this new email address you
are talking about? Do I need to send my correspondence
to you at that address now?

Unfortunately, the donations are trickling down for
your cause, Joe. So far, we only have $429.38 raised
which is far short of our goal. We really need to get
a picture with you wearing the NAMBLA PRIDE shirt.
Also, you are too well dressed in the pictures you
have already sent for people to think you are so poor.
Therefore, I ask that in your next picture, you only
wear the NAMBLA shirt and nothing else. No pants or
anything, please. We need to really advertise your
poverty and your current situation. As for the sign,
we want you to help us with our amateur dwarf-tossing
team, the Chicken Hawks. Please put "NAMBLA CHICKEN
HAWKS 5TH ANNUAL RUB-N-TUG" on your sign. This is a
charity event that we hold every year.

When we post your picture, I am very certain that we
can rebuild momentum for your cause!

Much love,
Matt Foley

With Joe's track record, its probably going to take a few tries before he gets his Porky-Piggin'* on, but we still have to try, don't we?

*Porky Piggin' refers to the wonderful practice of getting women to wear a shirt and nothing else. You'll notice that the titular cartoon character is frquently sans pants, hence the origin of the term.

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 6:30 pm

Ok, now it takes a serious turn to the wierd. At this point, I am working under the assumption that this last message from Joe (WELL SIR AM CONFUSE ABOUT EVERY THING DID U KNOW THIS MAIL ADRESS
[email protected] FOR THE PIC I SEND MOLLY THIS MAIL RETURN IT TO ME PLEASE) was him directing me to a new email address of his. Therefore, I send the next email to both Joe's regular address and (what I thought was) his "new" address.

Quote:

Joe Jude!

NAMBLA is very worried about you, Joe! we haven't
heard from you in days, and we are starting to think
that something very bad has happened to you. I hope to
God that you didn't come down with ebola, Joe. Do you
think you have ebola? If so, we must get you the funds
you need in a hurry to take care of your "medical
expenses".

Also, what is the deal with this new email address? Is
your bluemantle address no longer working? Please let
us know what is going on up your end, Joe. We want to
touch you in your special place very badly. Please let
us know what to do to make that a reality!

Matt Foley,
CEO and President
NAMBLA Inc.

You can then imagine that it came to me as quite a surprise to recieve this from the "new" email address.

Quote:

fuck you and I pray that you die of EBOLA soon - the sooner thebetter

Short story long... I begin to recieve many, many emails from the "new" address with pictures of Joe holding photoshopped signs that say "Will scam for cock" and other such things. I send back this to both addresses with gay porn that has Joe's head photoshopped in.

Quote:

Hey Jude:

If you liked those pictures, you should get a load of
these! Remember, NAMBLA wants to touch you in a
special way!

Love,
Matt Foley

Well, after some awkward clarification, it turns out that this "new" email address belonged to none other than our very own Mathias! Ol' Mathias thought I was a scammer, which would explain why he didn't offend me (in fact, quite the opposite) despite his herculanean effort! Apparently Joe was trying to ask me, in his garbled way, if I knew who the "new" email address belonged to. Mathias and I had a few laughs over our misunderstanding and now Mat is baiting him too. Feel the 419eater love, everybody!

However, things are not going well in Africa, my friends. Not well at all. Joe's cage is rattled to put it mildly.

Quote:

hellow sir matt foley this joe that mail adress i send to that bear mathias i that is the one i got from net after much much mail we send to each other i send he my pic of he acept but what suprise me most is that he send one of the pic i send to madam molly that is the reason why i ask u if u know that mail adress well
sir i must be honest with u that mail adress is a from a america ,sir for my [email protected] is ok it just cos that pic i send to molly that man mathias send back to me that is the reason why i do not send mail to see if u will reply me asking me why that mail adress well sir please for GOD SAKE IF U LOVE AND REALLY U WANT TO HELP ME AND MY FAMILY DO NOT SEND MAIL TO THAT MAN MATHIAS AGAIN , please quickly reply me to whats up please please please
thank joe and the family ,please reply me as soon as u read and tell me what next

Not even 20 minutes later, Joe follows up with this.

Quote:

please sir sorry for hearing from since cos that i explain to u ,please never write to that man again please and real u want to help me and my family please reply me and let me know what next please for my life is going down the pit please help us from this horrible situaition so i will stop begging through net for if not so mathias will not writting please understand me
THANK JOE AND THE FAMILY PLEASE REPLY ME NOW THANK

Mathias is taking some very un-Christian delight in Joe's anguish.

Quote:

hihihi! I like to make these assholes crazy!

Quote:

Joe!

Thank God we finally have heard from you! I was very confused at your emails, since you wouldn't stop writing about my tight little behind and how you wanted to stick your tongue in my ear. Now I know that it wasn't you at all, but that scheming liar Mathias! Oh Joe, I know how you must feel. But don't worry, we here at NAMBLA realize that unscrupulous people take advantage of young boys all the time. We know that you are not to blame for Mathias's cruel hoaxes and handjobs.

Still, Joe, the issue of raising money for you and your family remains. NAMBLA has been working tirelessly on our campaign for you, but we will a little reach around here. Like I told you a few emails ago, you seem to be entirely too well dressed in your photos to be living in such depravation. Molly had faith in you, Joe. She really believed in you; in fact, you were the wind beneath her hot wings as they say. That is why I must ask that you send us a picture of yourself without pants, wearing only the NAMBLA PRIDE shirt. That kind of image will really show the poverty of your desperate situation. Please hold a sign that says "NAMBLA CHICKEN HAWKS 5TH ANNUAL RUB-N-TUG" on it. I know this may seem unorthodox, Joe, but it is what Molly would have wanted.

Do it for Molly, won't you?
Matt Foley

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:43 pm

I love that sign. Great job, Larry! Smile

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:14 pm

Jude Joe isn't trying very hard.

Quote:

hellow sir by tommorow i will send the pic

thank joe

I don't feel like trying very hard either

Quote:

Hey Jude!

Donations are down to a trickle. Send us that pic, cupcake!

Matt Foley

This is pretty damn funny, even if he didn't follow any of my directions.

Quote:

hellow sorry for the delay this the pic thank ,please see how u will help me for life is so hard
thahk joe

The boy needs a slappin', Larry Flynt-style.

Quote:

Jude:

I remember Molly saying that you weren't the longest strap-on in the store, but I can't believe that you sent us this half-assed attempt at a NAMBLA promotional picture. What are you thinking, Joe?

I said in the instructions that "NAMBLA 5th ANNUAL RUB-N-TUG" was to be on a sign, not your shirt! You put it on your shirt anyway, which would have been fine, except that you cannot read it!!! Did you even look at this picture, Jude? Did you bother to double check that you were taking the picture according to our instructions? And of course, you are wearing pants in the picture, Joe. I thought we had been through this and that you understood what the hell you were doing. You need to be wearing the shirt, AND NOTHING ELSE, Joe. I'm sorry if there are some cultural taboos that make you uncomfortable, but here in America, when we see a young man like yourself with no pants or underwear, we are filled with compassion for his dilemma!

Joe, you are only hurting yourself with this slip-shod work. Like I said, donations for your case are slowing down to a thin trickle. We can't get you funds for your cause without what we like to call here at NAMBLA "The Money Shot".

Help us help you, Joe.
Sincerely,
Matt Foley

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 3:35 pm

Put yourself in Joe's shoes for a moment. Or flip-flops, from the looks of the last picture he sent. Here you are, a half-literate wannabe guyman, just trying to make a dishonest buck by playing on the sympathies of westerners. And along comes this smart-ass American f**ker who has told you to make signs and write the name of a pedophile activist organization on a perfectly nice t-shirt. And what have you gotten for your efforts so far? Jack-sh*t. What would you do next, if you were Joe? Ponder that one, and read on.

Quote:

What are you doing, Jude? We haven't heard anything from you. If you want the money that we have raised so far, let us know, ok? Hopefully you don't have to sell your tight little starfish in the back alleys of Lagos, dear boy.

Sincerely,
Matt Foley

Quote:

hellow sir as u said i want the money , so what next will i do can i send a name of which u will use to send me the money for we have come a long way for the sake god please help us out , for the reason why u did hear from is that i dont see money to eat again not talk of seeing money to check my mail box,that is the reason why ,
thank u from joe and the family

"we have come a long way"... reminds me of that great "Praise You" song by Fatboy Slim...

We've come a long long way together
through the hard times and the good
I need to celebrate you, baby
I need to bait you like I should!

Quote:

so sir u dont to help me again ,please sir try and help me out with any little thing for i dont to what im my life please sir help me thank joe

I'm so damned tired of the test questions and answers being "What is the color of love? Blue" or, my personal favorite "Yes. Yes." Besides, Joe needs his bucks!

Quote:

Jude!

Compliments of the famine to you! You will be overwhelmed with joy to know that we have raised $1419.24 for you and we have sent it to your name via the wonderful Moneygram modality! The test question is: "What's long, hard, and full of semen?" The test answer is "A Submarine!"

Also, Joe it has been brought to my attention that you have been in pornography in the past. Joe, we are sorry for the mistakes you made in the past, selling your body like a cheap whore. But Joe, those days are gone forever. You no longer have to satisfy the demented carnal urges of others. We pray that it isn't actually you in this photos, but even if it is, it isn't our place to judge you, Joe.

Love,
Matt Foley

I sent him two pictures of him photoshopped into gay-porn. The first has him rubbing tools with another sexy man. The second has him as the bologna layer of a "man-wich". Of course, I sent them as huge-ass tiff files. From the look of the next emails, I don't think he bothered to open them up.

Quote:

HELLOW sir please i want to know if u send me money and which name u use for the sending thank joe

Quote:

please sir matt , u said u have send me money through moneygram ,please in which name u send it ,please if realy u send may know and what i dont to disgrace as u people before that u have me money , please tell for if everthing went well i get back to after everthing , please reply now for to know god bless u
thank joe

Quote:

please tell me ok for to be invole into problem , please if send tell me ,if not tell me for to know my faith for if everthing went well i will get to u
thank joe

Huh? Did you understand any of that? I think I sent incomplete information. Is that what he's asking for?

Quote:

Jude Joe!

Those remedial English classes haven't worked out so well, I see! Don't worry Joe! We sent the Moneygram in YOUR name, Joe! It was sent to Jude Joe!!! Can you believe it? Also, we do have a question for you, Joe: If you woke up one morning with vaseline all over your smooth nubile young buttocks, would you tell anybody? If "no", then we would love to take you camping at our annual NAMBLA TICKS AND POISON IVY WILDERNESS JAMBOREE. Its like "Deliverance", but without the banjos! Let us know so that we can reserve a spot for you right away!

Love and tonsil hockey,
Matt Foley

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 9:39 pm

Joe is getting serious about the money! He's going to have to work hard for it. If he thought making signs and shirts was a bitch, wait until he visits Moneygram!

Quote:

hellow sir i went to verify , they say that the transaction is not complate cos the sender mustgive u the number of the transaction, please matt foley if realy u want to help me and my family ,please use this name of my friend who have driver licence,nwoye tochukwu ben please sir did realy want help please send through this name and the number of the transaction and test question and answer,for this the quirement they ask to present, please help help me for we havecome along way thank ,please reply me to know what next please ,please please thank joe

Joe wastes no time in between his laughably obseqious emails

Quote:

hellow sir please have went to verify as u ask to ,as i went their they told where is number of the transaction ,they ask of my identification ,i told them somebody send me money through money gram they told me to ask the sender the number of the transaction the real name of thesender and text question and answer, please help me out , for i dont driver licence to collect, please use this name nwoye tochukwu ben to send it ,if realy u want to help me and my family out of this mess of famine
thank joe ,please reply me quick to know what next,please please please GOD BLESS U AND FILL UR POCKET BACK IN HUNDERED FOLD AS U HELP US

Quote:

hellow sir please ,please please help us out
thank joe

Quote:

Hey Jude!

That all sounds great! You're in Chad, right? I've always wanted to be in Chad. He's hot. I will send all modalities as follows:

Sender: Matt Foley
Test Question: What's long, hard and full of semen?
Test Answer: A submarine
Trans Number: 741926868

Now get your pert little nipples down there and collect your money, sugarbritches!

Love,
Matt Foley and all of NAMBLA

Will he actually go to Chad for the money? Do they even have moneygram in Chad? How far is Joe from Chad? Who the f*** is this Chad guy, anyhow? Stay tuned....

Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 2:06 am

Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 7:10 pm

I'm starting to tire of Joe. He's been fun, but now he's just getting pathetic. The only thing that might re-ignite my interest is if he does actually go to the Republic of Chad, but I'm not holding my breath. Joe really is breathtakingly stupid.

Quote:

hellow sir thank once again ,please on which name did u send it and how much[amount] for me to know before going to check please reply and tell me for i dont want to disgrace if i got there ,please reply me and GOD BLESS U
THANK JOE

Let the ugly little punk sweat for a couple of days.

Quote:

hellow sir i went to check they told me as far as the name joe of which u use to send it did not have driver licence, that i should ask u to call money gram that they should please pay nwoye tochukwu ben,please with this name the money will get to me ,cos i dont have driver licence,please as u have agree to help me and family please do for me and GOD WILL BLESS U please help us out for is only god will reward u and ur family amen

Yeah, I would simply drown in an ocean of tears if you don't get your money, bitch.

Quote:

Joe!

How is the world of poverty going, Joe? I received your message but couldn't reply very quickly, since I have been spending most of this weekend in the local bathhouse, having lucious young boys rub scented oils into every nook and cranny of my aged, porcine body. Having my back shaved and my ass pimpled squeezed by that sassy little Macauley Culkin is a little indulgence that I don't wish to ever do without!

As you requested, we have made arrangements with Moneygram to send the money to Nwoye Tomogachie Bendover. Is he a friend of yours? Perhaps you two are more than friends, if you know what I mean, you sexy lump of nubian flesh? Anyway, all the other stuff remains the same, assuming that you can figure out how to pick up your money without me having to draw you a map.

Please let us know when you get the money! We would love to come over there and touch you and your whole family. Tell me, Joe, do you like bukkakke??

Love,
Matt Foley and all of the folks at NAMBLA

Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 7:57 pm

Joe seems to be getting frustrated that he hasn't gotten his money yet. Lads are sooooo cute when they try to get their cash!

Quote:

hellow sir thank for ur reply , please sir this the correct name nwoye tochukwu ben, please if recieve the money iwill contact uGOD BLESS U
THANK JOE

Is this dipshit's real name, I wonder? Not that I care, but what the heck.

Quote:

hellow sir matt , please have u for getten me , for if i work up in mourning , it will bee that there is no hope me again , please try help me out thank and god bless u
thank joe , please reply me for,
thank joe please do leave me alone

WTF? This is just pathetic. "please do leave me alone"?!?!? For chrissakes, Joe. If your going to beg, at least use proper grammar.

Quote:

Jude:

Hello, you beautiful young boy! We have sent the money via Moneygram to the name you provided us with, Joe! Isn't that exciting! We can't wait to hear what you will spend the money on. Maybe a thong or a trip to Thailand where NAMBLA members frequently like to take young boys on "vacation"? They leave as boys, Joe but they all come back as men, if you know what I mean!

Please keep in touch, and enjoy your new found wealth!

Matt Foley

Great. Now I've probably pissed off one of our Thai members on here.

Quote:

hellow sir please its the same text question and answer, what amount and which name, please reply me quick GOD bless u joe

Jude Joe. The kid at the back of the mugu "short bus". While other kids are making collages in art class, he struggles not to eat the paste. Joe, thou art truly the Ford Pinto of 419 scammers.

Check out this subject line... Is this his Meg Ryan impersonation from "When Harry met Sally"?

Quote:

Subject: Re: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOW OH
To: "Matt Foley" <[email protected]>

HELLOW SIR MATT , please thank u for u having been doing for me ur reply, and hope u having given me,please as u said that u have send me money ,as iwent to their office they that transaction number is over it must contain 8 digit and the one u send to me is 9digit,please help me out by ,as u have agree to help by sending us money please make it easy for me to collect it ,hellow sir this the name i nwoye tochukwu ben ,please reply if realy u want me collect the u send ,
please sender name text question,text answer,amount,transaction number,
please as iwent this want as me to present to them for easy collect ,please ,please please do that for and remain bless u ,
please sir give me ur phone number,
best regard
joe please do this for me for am,dieing ,please help us out

I hope he likes my subject line.

Quote:

Subject: Re: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOW OH YES PLEASE NOW HARDER
To: "jude joe" <[email protected]>

Hey Jude!

That subject line is a little disturbing. Were you typing one-handed, sugarbritches? Please, don't waste your time visiting the Tiffany Mynx website, Joe. All the good shit is "members only" and its $14.95 a month... that's money that you don't have right now, Joe!

NAMBLA just concluded our nautical themed party, "Captain Matt and the Ass Pirates" on Monday night. We all toasted to you after I yelled, "Arrgh! Surrender your booty!" Thank God we hired somebody to clean up the KY this year. Guess who got stuck doing that last year... that's right... yours truly, Joe. Since its water based, I was able to hose most of it off of the floor but the curtains were shot.

Joe, you must have overdosed on dipshit pills or something. I keep telling you that we sent the money to the name you gave us! "nwoye tochukwu ben" sounds like a made up name to me, Joe. But if that what you want, then that is what you shall have! As far as the control number, delete the leading zero! That will give you all the digits you need.

Write us back soon when you get your money; we are all thinking of you and your supple, heaving thighs!

Matt Foley

Just when I think he's had enough, Joe usually pops back in again for more. I'll keep you all posted! Laughing

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 8:36 pm

have you told our friend already that actually I have stolen his money? -Mathias-

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 8:39 pm

Mathias, you shall be entering the picture very soon. Don't you worry!

Quote:

hellow sir matt foley sorry for giving u a lot of headech please for am confuse, please tell me the amount y have send, please this things u send that i will use, please sorry inconvinence,Sender: Matt Foley
Test Question: What's long, hard and full of semen?
Test Answer: A submarine
Trans Number: 741926868 please check it please and reply me for i will for ever remain greatful to u , please tell me the amount in ur reply,sorry
thank joe

Now that's a real test question and answer for you!!!!

Quote:

please thank u for the last time , please for the sakeof GOD , HELP ME OUT FOR AM DIYING IN HUNGER , PLEASE REPLY ME AND TELL ME THE AMOUNT ,PLEASE AND SEND EVER REQUIREMENT ,PLEASE
THANK U FROM JOE, please remember we have come along way ,please help us out and thank and god bless u

Poor Joe. He thinks I want him to die! Well, that might be going a bit far, but I do wish for him to at least spend his days constantly rocking back and forth while clutching himself in the fetal position.

Quote:

hellow matt foley please help me now , did u want me to die please now , please now , please now , life getting hard and harder for me please now
thank joe

Quote:

please sir please help me now , am dieying in hunger , please we have been friend for long help now ,pleasethank joe please reply me

And now, it is time for a safari. But there will be no pot of gold at the end of this particular rainbow, me droogies. Only more anguish for the perpetually starving Jude Joe!

Quote:

Joe!

Hey, Jude! How can you be dying of hunger? You look pretty well fed to me, tinkerbell. Anyway, NAMBLA is so excited for you! We have written up an article about you in our monthly newsletter, but we didn't know if "man boy sodomy" should be hyphenated or not. I guess we'll find out soon enough!

How is that family of yours? I keep looking at the wedding picture you sent us, of life in happier times. Frankly, the bride doesn't look very excited to be a new member of your family. Is she a cousin or your sister? A lot of that kind of stuff happens in Arkansas and it wouldn't surprise me to find out that Nigeria is a hotbed of incest enthusiasts too.

I just realized that I gave you my American Express credit card number, and not the Moneygram control number like I thought! What a crazy mix-up, eh Joe? Well, you'll be pleasantly surprised to know that after all the coffee colonics I had this weekend, the psilocybin is totally out of my system and I can send you the full information!

Name: nwoye tochukwu ben
Amount: 1,742.63$USD
Sender: Matt Foley
Test Question: What's long, hard and full of semen?
Test Answer: A submarine
MTCN: 66419083

I hope you can use that money to buy yourself a littel bling-bling if you know what I mean, Joe! How about a new gold tooth or a medallion of a dollar sign? that would be so sweet. Let us know the very second you get the money, cupcake!

Much love from NAMBLA,
Matt Foley

...soon, very soon, Mathias shall enter the picture... (evil chortle)

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 9:42 pm

Larry, I'm surprised at you. The boy just told you he's getting harder and you didn't pick up on it. For shame...

Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:27 am

RamenDragonElok wrote:

Larry, I'm surprised at you. The boy just told you he's getting harder and you didn't pick up on it. For shame...

My God. Look how my standards slip when I don't get my daily Red Bull. Shocked

Thank you for pointing that out; it goes to show how rarely I actually read anything he writes. Embarassed

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 3:38 pm

Uh-oh. Joe's got a couple of surprises in his inbox that may come to him as a surprise!

Quote:

From: "Matt Foley"
Subject: Re: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOW OH YES PLEASE NOW HARDER
To: "jude joe"

Hey Jude!

Congratulations! I just checked with the Moneygram
office, and they told me that Nwookie Ben (or whatever
his name was) just came over and picked up your money!
That is truly wonderful news, Joe. You and Nookie Ben
will no longer have to swallow balloons filled with
china white before making it across the border ever
again!

Jude, I could kiss your full, pouty, come-hither,
no-botox-needed lips! What a wonderful moment it was
when you picked up your money! Did you take a picture
of the blessed moment?

All our love to Nookie Ben and you as you celebrate
your newly found wealth!
Love,
Matt Foley and the whole NAMBLA gang!!

But then Joe gets this right out of the blue!!! What could have happened?!?!

Quote:

Hahaha fuckface. Thanks for the money!!
Please try to get some more money so I can take it heheheh!
Mathias

Quote:

hellow sir matt foley please i went to money gram office , they that the information u gave to me was invalid, ask them has anybody come to collect it , they nothing of such , that the information was in valid , please as u have diceded to help me , please call them with this number2348035606000, and ask them what happen , please and get back to me , if real y are sincer and ready to help me reply me as soon as possible thank
joe, , please that u send to nwoye tochukwu ben, and he came and they say that the information is invalid
thank joe please please reply me quick

Quote:

please sir i must bee frank with that any time the u send to i must mail u to say i have recieved , please understand me very well ,
thank joe

Hey Mathias, you've got quite a CV here!

Quote:

From: "Space Lord" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: Notice of criminal activity
To: [email protected], [email protected]

To whom it may concern:

We have reason to believe that a recent monetary transaction, of which you are a party, has been intercepted by a third party. Furthermore, we believe that this third party may be known to either one of you as "Mathias".

"Mathias" is currently under investigation by the United States Department of the Treasury, Scotland Yard, and Interpol for wire fraud. Please do not try to apprehend "Mathias" yourself. He is known to be armed and has dealings with the Japanese Yukuza, the Corleone Family crime syndicate, Peruvian Shining Path and Omega Directorate. "Mathias" has been tied to the Bader-Meinhoff gang and is a founder of the April 19th Red Faction. We believe that he had extensive Stasi training prior to 1990 as well.

Please discontinue any correspondence, electronic or otherwise, with "Mathias". His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he is likely to be western-central Africa. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact AGENT GARY BUSEY at [email protected].

Sincerely,
Special Agent Gary Busey
Chairman of Wire Fraud Investigation
Division of Criminal Investigation
United States Department of the Treasury
http://www.ustreas.gov/
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20220
Fax: (202) 622-6415

More hilarity to come!

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

Gary Busey?

That guy is unintelligible after having his brains scrambled in the motorcycle accident; you should make your correspondence so. Laughing

Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 4:51 pm

As opposed to the articulate, genteel pre-accident Busey? Laughing

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 1:34 pm

I recived this from Joe today Laughing

Quote:

hellow sir how is today and Tiny tim, this good new u about mathias who say i kill his pig and u belive him a man send me this message To whom it may concern:

We have reason to believe that a recent monetary transaction, of which you are a party, has been intercepted by a third party. Furthermore, we believe that this third party may be known to either one of you as "Mathias".

"Mathias" is currently under investigation by the United States Department of the Treasury, Scotland Yard, and Interpol for wire fraud. Please do not try to apprehend "Mathias" yourself. He is known to be armed and has dealings with the Japanese Yukuza, the Corleone Family crime syndicate, Peruvian Shining Path and Omega Directorate. "Mathias" has been tied to the Bader-Meinhoff gang and is a founder of the April 19th Red Faction. We believe that he had extensive Stasi training prior to 1990 as well.

Please discontinue any correspondence, electronic or otherwise, with "Mathias". His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he is likely to be western-central Africa. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact AGENT GARY BUSEY at [email protected].

Sincerely,
Special Agent Gary Busey
Chairman of Wire Fraud Investigation
Division of Criminal Investigation
United States Department of the Treasury
http://www.ustreas.gov/
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20220
Fax: (202) 622-6415

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 1:45 pm

Hehehe! I have Joe`s money and now I go and see the ladies downtown.. Twisted Evil

Cheers Mathias

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 1:48 pm

If you run out of money I could send him some for you to intersept Wink

Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 6:02 pm

I swear to God if Joe was any stupider, I could be baiting him as Star-Muffin, Queen of the Unicorns. I was getting tired of Joe, and even entertained thoughts of ending our special relationship, but the Mathias-factor is just too damn much fun!!!

Matt Foley doesn't much care for the unholy alliance between Joe and Mathias.

Quote:

Jude Joe!

Hey Jude! May I ask what exactly in the name of Dana
Plato is this?!? Are you giving the money that we
fucking raised for you to some german criminal?? what
the hell is wrong with you, Joe? After all the
fundraisers and the jello wrestling camps, and this is
what you do with the money? What do you take us for,
Joe?

Disgustedly,
Matt Foley

> Date: Wed, 25 May 2005 08:21:48 -0700 (PDT)
> From: (SPECIAL AGENT BUSEY)
> Subject: Notice of criminal activity
> To: (JUDE DUMBSHIT JOE), (MATT FUCKIN FOLEY)
>
> To whom it may concern:
>
> We have reason to believe that a recent monetary
> transaction, of which you are a party, has been
> intercepted by a third party. Furthermore, we
> believe that this third party may be known to either
> one of you as "Mathias".
>
> "Mathias" is currently under investigation by the
> United States Department of the Treasury, Scotland
> Yard, and Interpol for wire fraud. Please do not try
> to apprehend "Mathias" yourself. He is known to be
> armed and has dealings with the Japanese Yukuza, the
> Corleone Family crime syndicate, Peruvian Shining
> Path and Omega Directorate. "Mathias" has been tied
> to the Bader-Meinhoff gang and is a founder of the
> April 19th Red Faction. We believe that he had
> extensive Stasi training prior to 1990 as well.
>
> Please discontinue any correspondence, electronic or
> otherwise, with "Mathias". His whereabouts are
> currently unknown, but he is likely to be
> western-central Africa. If you have any further
> questions, please do not hesitate to contact AGENT
> GARY BUSEY at [email protected].
>
> Sincerely,
> Special Agent Gary Busey
> Chairman of Wire Fraud Investigation
> Division of Criminal Investigation
> United States Department of the Treasury
> http://www.ustreas.gov/
> 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
> Washington, D.C. 20220
> Fax: (202) 622-6415

Special Agent Gary Busey got this in his inbox:

Quote:

From: "jude joe" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: this how i know him
To: "Space Lord" <[email protected]>

hellow sir thank u for message thank ,for this name mathias has done bad to me a lot cos i beg him for help he ask me to send my pic to him of which i did , but all he lied against me to to a man i ask to help , he lied against me aferter i find out i beg him to leave alone he refuse ,he that he will send my pic to to usa people telling every body that am a fruad star after in order for him leave me alone he said that i should send him my pic been necked , i told him i can not do it, then he said that he willsend my name the whole world telling them that am a fruad star , i told that if he do that GOD will vindicate me
thank, joe, hellow this sir i will send the message i send to him, of which he took the advantage of

Jude doesn't want to be known as a "fraud star"!!! ROTFL!!! Its not as glamorous as being a "porn star" or "rock star", but what the hell... its still a job, right? Laughing

Spec. Agent Busey then gets:

Quote:

From: "jude joe" <[email protected]>
Subject: PLEASE HELP US FOR THE SAKE OF GOD,this the message i send to mathias
To: (SPECIAL AGENT GARY BUSEY) [email protected]

PLEASE IS ONLY GOD WILL BEAR ME WITNESS FOR AM SAYING NOTHING BUT THE GOSPEL TRUTH PLEASE CONSIDER ME AND GOD BLESS U AS U READY CAREFULLY hellow sir how are u and ur family ,i hope all is well if so thanks be to our almighty GOD i recieved ur email adress throuhg internet sir my story may sound so funny and stupid to people hearing but i must say it out,for am a nigeria a family of 8 am the first son we are from a poor wretched home sir am soliciting for ur fanacial support assitance so that i and my family will not die in hunger and lack for i know that it impossible for some one to help somebody that is not his family member not to talk of somebody u dont know his family background nor a foriegner ,for i have done everthing humantaian possible to see that we succide in life all to no avail cos no help from no were. for i believe that god that give me this knowledge to writte this leter to u will use u to help me and my family so that we will not die in hunger and lack for i pray that our GOOD GOD will bless u and ur family and replenish ur pocket for no amount is too small for ibelieve that any amount we make us to rise to the top in jesus name amen i pray that GOD wiil protect u from all ur edaevour amen THANK JOE CRYING FOR UR HELP did know that poverty is not good ,for am sincerly of what am saying for lying is a sin before OUR GOD for there so many nigerian that write u foriegner saying they bussines proposal where as they dont have looking for who they will dupe but GOD that i am saing the truth please sir try in as much as possible to help so that we will die in hunger THANK as u help us OUR GOD WILL BLESS U AMEN please sympathies with my beging for iam on knee in name ofGOD beging so that we will not die in hunger thank amen

Matt Foley at NAMBLA hears from Joe!

Quote:

From: "jude joe" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: BELIEVE ME I HAVE NOT
To: "Matt Foley" <[email protected]>

hellow matt foley , before GOD AND MAN, i have not recieve any money from u or from any body , somebody wrote me telling about mathias, the one i told that how did my pic get to him , cos one of the pic i send to molly , this man mathias later send to me cos , i ask him to help me, this man mathias is brain behind all this mess , belive me honestly i have never collect any money from no body, but reason he all this that he ask me send my pic been nacked ,i told him i can not do it , he for that he will send to every people at usa and all over the world that am fraud star, i told him if he do that my GOD will fight for me , for is only begging am beging to see how i get of poverty, i realy thank god that this man told me that man mathias is under there hand for investigation, hellow matt , please belive me i have not recieve any money heveaven will bear witness, for i collect money from u i denied that i did not collect any, i that have been praying that help any body so i and my family will not die of hunger and lack , how can do that to man that have agree to help,
THANK JOE, please reply me and tell what u say

Matt replies in his usual pederast manner:

Quote:

Hey Jude!

Are you serious? Have you been denied by this man Mathias? I can't believe that we brought you so close to extascy, only to leave you limp, Joe! As God is NAMBLA's witness, we will not let you get "blue balled" by Mathias!

I am going to get in touch with Agent Busey and find out what NAMBLA can do to help capture this fraud star. I am shocked, simply shocked that this Mathias would tell you to pose naked for blackmail. That is reprehensible. Rest assured that we here at NAMBLA would never try to blackmail you into gay pornography, but we wouldn't necessarily discourage it either. Did he want you to pose with any props? That would be horrible, Joe.

Joe, we are going to call our insurance carrier, Gary Coleman Insurance and speak to our agent, Bob Denver. We haven't need to call Bob in a while, which is good since he is usually giving three-hour tours on the S.S. Minnow with his "roommate of many years" (if you know what I mean) Alan Hale, Jr. Hopefully our policy will cover this sort of fraud star activity, but frankly Joe, we feel completely violated by Mathias. Especially after all the fund raising efforts we did on your behalf.

Don't worry Joe. We'll get you some money, somehow. But right now, we are all devastated by this thief Mathias. I think you should cooperate with Agent Busey fully. If we get the money back, Joe, we will sent it to you immediately. In the meantime, buck up little camper! I'm going to go to the men's room for a while, since I don't want anybody to see me cry.

Love,
Matt Foley and all of NAMBLA

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