The Path of a TWAT -- Pastor Omar's tale of woe

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Aug 2006 Posts: 577

^^
Omar is still a rough gem. He needs a thorough buffing

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:49 pm

This rocks! You guys are getting the band back together!

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 3:18 pm

Hmm. Lad pain or MORE lad pain? I'll take what's behind box #2! Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 3:41 pm

More sacred bananas please!

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 5:41 pm

KissOfDeath wrote:

Congratzzz, TLH and Jojo

Even though Jojo's being uncharacteristically quiet, KoD, this is still a TWAT Team bait.

Stealth Boat wrote:

You guys are getting the band back together!

We're excited too!

Jojo and I were playing with a couple of other ideas but, when Omar comes a-knockin', you've gotta put all other plans on hold. After all, I'd walk into traffic to bait Omar. (Well, we'd actually ask him to walk into traffic for us, but you know what I mean...)

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:45 pm

Hi. I have been rather busy and also a tad bit lazy. Would my call still be required?

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:53 pm

^^^ Thanks as always, Dr Mike, but I don't think we need a call from Rev. Bob at the moment. Omar's been saying that he really wants to talk to Ben and, if Omar wants Ben, then Ben he shall receive. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:09 pm

No probs. I am sorry i never got around doing it last weekend when i promised to.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:16 pm

No worries Dr Mike. Life gets busy.

I am so excited to see what is going on with Omar. I can't wait to hear.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:06 pm

It is a shame that the tattoo has already been discussed. It would make for a perfect atonement procedure.

Although, now that I think of it maybe Phystme will insist that this is the only way for him to believe that Omar still has faith.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 17 Aug 2014 Posts: 90

Is he the next Shorty?

How could he still be hooked.

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:47 pm

He seems to be ready for the next round.

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 1:19 am

This is great. I remember when he disapped, and why, and thought, what a shame to lose such a prize gem like this. And NOW he's BACK! Ta-dah!

I really look forward to whatever you guys plan for him!

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Apr 2015 Posts: 239

Hey guys, glad he is back, this is a nice Christmas present to all, I read the original bait a couple of months back, it was very entertaining, and it's nice to see Jojo bean is still around, can't wait to read what you have in stall, some of your safari baits Jojo is of legendary status, and go down in scam baiting folklore.

I hope Omar's sequel will be just as good as the last.

I'm excited to read an ongoing bait that I'm actually up to date with lol

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 5:01 pm

Apologies all around. It's been a good long time since we've posted...

The problem is, Omar came back from his vacation in Chad and his self-imposed exile from Boko a changed man. (Apparently, a week or so in Chad can break even the strongest man. Who knew?) In any case, Omar has been communicating with Ben and seems to be under the impression that the return of our Prodigal Son makes him deserving of gifts.

If it is gifts he wants, then gifts he shall receive. So far, we have sent him photos of our standard tech setup for all initiates (an iPad, an iPhone 6S, and a MacBook) and Ben's special present for him (a Rolex). However, that's not enough for the greedy little turd (no offense, DSW) -- he's also asked for Ben's phone number and for a picture of Ben.

We tried giving Omar a couple of Skype calls but couldn't get through. (Too bad, because I really wanted to wake his lazy ass up.) Still, it might be time for Phystme to come out from backstage...

Ben wrote:

I've got to head out for a week. The authorities may have found anita.
I'm going to Washington DC with her parents.

Rev Phystme will take your emails in the mean time.

To which Phystme responded:

Phystme wrote:

You know that My wishes and prayers go with you as you try to rescue your lovely little niece. Please let Me know if there is anything I (or anyone else in Our Church) can do for you, and I am sure you will have many volunteers who will be willing to provide you with any help you may need. I hope you realize that everyone who ever met Anita was most impressed with her, so I would very much look down upon anyone who had an opportunity to help Anita and failed to do so.

And, Pastor Omar ...... Rev. Dover told Me that you were still interested in joining Our Church. Since Brother Ben is going to be out of touch for a while, and since I would like to make sure that We get all of Our T's dotted and Our I's crossed before the end of the year, please let Me know where in the Re-Admission Process you are so that I may take it over or put you in touch with the appropriate member of My staff.

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 5:03 pm

I can say that waking a lad's ass up at 3am is one of the more satisfying aspects of baiting. TLH, for this bait to continue is what I really want for Christmas!

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 5:04 pm

Omar didn't get back to Phystme for a day or so, so it's time for some tough love (and a few quotes from some random sf movie) from Phystme:

Quote:

Dear Pastor Omar:

What is going on ok

I know Rev. Dover has told Me that he has been in almost constant communication with you and that you were still interest in joining Our Church. So, then, why the delay in trying to help Me learn where you stand in Our Re-Admission Process you are so that I may take it over and ensure that you still qualify for for Our stipend for Fiscal Year 2015?

I would like to share a little something with you, just Man-to-man between you and Me: Ben believes in you. And, more importantly than that, Ben wants to believe in you.

I may be stepping out of line here but please allow Me to tale you a little something about Ben. Ben was married for a long long time and he used to say that he had two great loves in his life -- his wife and spreading the TWAT. However, what Ben never mentioned was that he had room in his heart for one other great love -- a child. Sadly, when his wife (May the Dear Lord Above watch over and bless her soul) passed away, she left him without any children to take care of him in his twilight years.

Please do not tale Ben I told you any of this but he does confide to a very few of Us within the CLIT and -- to those lucky few -- he has frequently referred to you as his son. I truly believe that he has pushed so hard to allow you to approach the glory of the TWAT because he sees this as a way to unite his two great loves -- Our Church and the son he never had.

And, trust Me; I truly believed that We had something special in you too. I witnessed the outpouring of love that your missing the FIRE conference this summer brought out in Our attendees, and it has been a long time in deed since We have ever seen that many people display that level of interest in one Initiate and his travels.

How ever, since you re-entered Ben's life, I think I needs must tell you that I find your lack of faith disturbing. All I hear from Ben is how you have come back, how you still wish to penetrate the inner workings of the TWAT, and how you are still willing to complete Our Admission Process. Yet, I never see any progress in this matter and all I hear about is you making these ridiculous requests of Ben.

Please, Omar, decide whether or not you wish to gain entry to the TWAT. I am not asking you to do this for My sake, or for the sake of Our Church, or even for the sake of the Good Lord Above; I merely ask you to do this for Ben's sake. If you truly wish to spread the TWAT, then I know Ben will do whatever it takes to make sure that you gain entry. However, if your destiny lies along a different path, please give Ben the courtesy of letting him know so he may stop building up his false hope.

Regardless of your decision, Omar, I truly hope that you remain blessed, and know that the TWAT will be with you. Always.

Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 8:46 am

Pretty cool to see you guys pick this back up. Are you planning to go right back in with the completely unbelievable, over-the-top stuff? Or do you plan to start slow and ease him back in?

Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 8:58 pm

^^^^
We shall see. He's a wounded man. All around hurt. So, we need to make sure he's ready for the torture.

It's been absent- my apologies. I have been on safari in the Bahamas and it was probably not too dissimilar to what Omar endured. Hash conditions. 80 degrees. Beaches like those in Chad. I even heard rumours of a waterpark, not dissimilar to those in Chad. I was tortured with loads of food and routine naps. But don't cry for me. I'm no hero.

I won't lie... TLH and I have been sweating bullets thinking he has twigged. He has been AWOL, but I just got this an hour ago.

Quote:

Hello Ben,

My deepest and sincere apologies for not returning your mails for
sometime now. Its not a deliberate attempt to be silent for such a
long while it is due to unavailabilty of network coverage for weeks
now but though its slightly manageable now so I can be able to view
your messages and reply now.

Its indeed so amazing to know that Anita has been found but how soon
is she returning home? How have you been and work around the office? I
don't know you haven't been able to reach me on my mobile number
because its always on and not switched off.

I need you understand that everything means so much to me and none
that I took for a joke when I told you I had like us to continue my
re-admission into the fold, nothing has changed!

Thanks alots for all your support.

Compliments of the Season!!!

I love when he mentions coming into the folds of the TWAT. I laugh like a child.

To which Dover replied:

Quote:

Where are you that network coverage is so bad? I struggle with you just ignoring the emails. I've tried to call. I've tried to email. You just went radio silent. That's so tough for me. Rev Phystme is furious. I would recommend you write him an apology letter. He's been very angry over this situation. I've done my best to defend you, but your silence has not been something I could defend.

Omar, we need to move forward here. This is dragging on way too long. All of this has taken so much time. We still need the picture of the pyramid for your file.

Omar, where are you? Are you in Nigeria? Did you travel back to Chad for vacation? Is that why your signal is so bad? I've heard the networks in Chad are unreliable. I thought maybe you took a Christmas vacation there or something.

Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 10:55 pm

Let's hope that he makes his next safari run in under 12 parsecs.

I'm thinking that the next fire conference should be held in Zeta Reticuli.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

Did you travel back to Chad for vacation?

I'm almost certain this is what he did.

Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:23 am

^^ Hopefully he traveled with more rotting holy bananas.

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:26 pm

We haven't posted in a while, not because Omar Mk. II has ended, but because it is slow going. Omar did not have a nice time at all in Chad and ... he just ain't the same.

That's the problem with documenting a bait in real-time. Aside from the risk of having a promising bait go south, there are long periods where you are just in a holding pattern and I think we have only recently emerged from one of those with Omar.

Before we go on with the bait, I would like to share a little email Phystme wrote to Omar on Dec. 24. It's ostensibly an end of the year email but also contains a not-so-secret message to everyone at Eater:

Quote:

My Dear Friends and Family,

I know We are all quite busy at this time of the year but, as the year winds to a close, I think it important that We sit back, reflect on the past year, and remember those people and events that made Our year as special as it was. Then, instead of simply thinking about those special people, We should make it Our duty to reach out to them and thank them for the time and effort they put forth to help Us in Our daily lives.

Even though the Dear Lord Above teaches Us that we should always put the welfare of others ahead of Our own selfish needs, I understand that it is not always easy for Us to do so, which is why it is so important that We to reach out to those exemplary people who did think of others before themselves and let them know that We deeply appreciate their time, their effort, and their sacrifice. These wonderful people can take many forms -- they can be parents, siblings, teachers, friends, and mentors. They can be people that We see every day, they may be people that We only speak to on the telephone, and they may even be as distant as a voice on the Internets that said something that touched Us.

So, please, My friends, take a few minutes from your busy lives and let those special people in your lives know how they have touched you. As for Me, I would like to personally thank each and every one of you for your support and faith as we continue to spread TWAT through out the world. In every month of the year, in every week of each month, it seemed that Our TWAT grew a little larger, while still remaining as warm and inviting as it always has been. However, as you well know, Our Mission is to continue to expand Our Church until everyone in the world has been given a chance to be exposed to Our TWAT and I promise you that I will not rest until Our Mission is complete.

And, that I suppose, is as good a place as any to end My message. I will tell you that We expect Our donations for 2016 to increase even more than We had first planned, which means that We will likely need to set up additional FIRE conferences to welcome even more Initiates to the TWAT. And, finally, to quote Brother Clement Clarke Moore, I would like to wish a Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a Good Night.

And there you have it. I'm three weeks late (or 49 weeks early) but I truly hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season, regardless of what you were celebrating.

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:34 pm

Shortly after the New Year, Ben sent a little poke to Omar:

Ben wrote:

I wanted to wish you a happy new year. and I wanted to know if you are still interested. I've heard nothing from you and I'm worried.

Anita should be home soon, they think!!!

To which Omar responded after a couple of days:

Omar wrote:

Hello Ben,

Am so glad to write to you and to wish you the very best of the season
and special greetings to you. Indeed I hoped to have written to you
during the Yuletide celebrations but could not reach you owing to
where I was and what I was engage with during the season. I had a
pretty nice Xmas celebration though I spent lot of the time at the
Internally displaced persons refugee camps and rural areas on
missions. I love to reach out to people especially the less previledge (what a nice way of saying "scam victims"!)
at this time of the Year!

How have you been and how did you enjoy your yuletide break and
holidays? I quite appreciate all your efforts and support through out
the 2015 though it was a very rough year for us all but most grateful
to the Almighty God who saw us through the pains and rigors of the
year into 2016 ( Our Year of Spreading).

Kindly find attached to this mail a newly taken picture of the
monument of faith still standing in its position a sign of faith in
the TWAT! (Note: This was not a new picture. This is the same picture he sent us earlier in the summer.) The requested list of items you asked for from my buggled
apartment though not very detailed but major items taken away;
i. Laptop
ii. Flat screen Television set
iii. Home furnitures
iv. Clothings
v. Important documents and books from my mini library.

Thank you very much for standing, pleading my course before Rev
Phystme William and the entire TWAT that I will deliver on my promise
and become the distinguished TWAT of all times.

I awaits your swift response in anticipation of your unreserved
support in all regards to move to greater heights in this new year.

Seasonal greetings to all members of to the church board and committee!

Your Son,

Ben wrote:

Thank you so much for the picture and the list of items. Rev Phystme was really getting annoyed at the lack of response. I will take this to his office immediately. He will probably email you in the next few days.

How were your holidays? Did you have a nice time? Did you get all your gifts you wanted? I can't wait to give you those gifts of the Apple products and the watch.

Okay, Omar... I have to be honest about something. I feel like you're not really dedicated like you used to be. I am trying my hardest to keep you inside the TWAT and Circling of the CLIT. But you're just so absent. I don't feel like you're dedicated like you used to be. We are looking to make you a High TWAT. We are looking to really make you something special here. I need you to show me you're serious. I about my name on the line for you. In fact, at a board meeting the other day, so many were upset because you aren't writing us regularly. I defended you. But I can only do so much. I need you to step it up,
Omar. If you're not serious, let me know. There is another individual who contacted the church and he's willing to move swiftly. We need someone to fill your role if you aren't serious.

You're a son to me. I need you to be the next member of the CLIT. Please tell me this isn't a joke to you. Phystme is concerned that you're not really serious.

Be blessed, my son.

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:41 pm

And some quick back-n-forth responses between Ben and Omar:

Omar wrote:

Thanks a lot and will do well to always get in touch to have things
running well this time around

Ben wrote:

Are you ready to move forward with everything? We are planning our next conference and Circling of the CLIT. Are you ready to continue on with the membership requirements?

Omar wrote:

Let's move forward with everything and the membership requirements!

Ben wrote:

This is splendid news. I will talk with Phystme and see how he wants to proceed. He will contact you , if he has not already.

Thank you, Omar. I'm so happy you're ready to come into the folds. I'm going to get started on pur Circling of the CLIT plans. We have several places we are looking at.

I'm curious to know if you are able to travel freely to the US. After the conference, we are interested in bringing you to the TWAT headquarters to show you around.

Omar wrote:

Hello Ben,
Thank you very much for all your love and support, am indeed grateful.

It will be such a wonderful experience to visit the TWAT headquarters.
It won't be much of a problem if all necessary arrangements and
logistics are in place or well organized by you all.

Talking about travelling, next month (February) will be a most
convinient time for me to travel but will still need your support and
love to ensure that it all turns out well in order not to have a
recount or reoccurence of the Chad experience.

Thanks!

Ben wrote:

Of course. Phystme should be contacting you soon with some details. I
don't want to reveal too much, but he said he was going to personally oversee your insertion. He just doesn't normally do that.

I don't know why you've gained such favour. But, I assure you that this is an extraordinary opportunity.

Omar wrote:

Ok. That's great news and will be expecting his mail anytime soon.

Like I mentioned earlier, kindly do well to avail yourself because I
will be in need of great assistance from you to get moving on and
complete the entire process and travelling for the conference as well.

Kindly furnish me with all the necessary details and updates as events
unfolds daily.

Special regards,

Ben wrote:

I'm in a meeting now, but I will talk with you about the details of
your next procedure shortly. Like I said, Phystme may be giving you a
hand in the TWAT. So he will contact you soon, I suspect.

Thank you for being a faithful son.

Omar wrote:

Thank you for your trust and support as well.

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