My first safari: THE EXODUS OF MOSES

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419Eater is my life Joined: 18 Jan 2010 Posts: 353

Very entertaining bait. So far, my favorite call is Mr. Randy lol.
The evident lad fraudstration in his voice during that one just made me giggle.
Can't wait to see the next twist...
seems like the only thing you're missing is a gomerb0yz dolla chop lol
Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:26 pm

^^Thank you!

I plan on calling Moses tonight since I haven't heard from him for a few days. He definitely left me hanging because he wanted Mr. Fring to chop Mr. Twats. I'm curious to know what he believes is going on. I suspect he is finally leaving Abuja and heading back to Lagos....

Now to plan his Ghana safari!

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:51 am

Moses is back in Lagos and very eager for his Ghana safari. He proposes some interesting ideas and Mr. Fring will be sure to agree to help push the safari along:

Quote:

Hello Gus
how are you doing? sorry for the delay in reply the journey was successful by God grace, i am currently working hard to make sure our deal move on smoothly without any mistake, i have been thinking about the success of this deal then i came up with this, can you change the Sender name to (Moses real name) JERRY, then it will now like Brothers there will not be any suspicious act how do you think about this? please remember there is no third party.

Hope to hear from you so that i can proceed further with our deal and plan

Regards
Smith

Mr Fring responded:

Quote:

Hello Moses,

It is very good to hear from you my friend!

I am very glad that you have returned safely. I truly feel that God is on our side and has allowed you safe passage home after all of the turmoil you suffered in Lokoja and Abuja.

I think the idea you propose for the senders name is fantastic! It will be no problem at all for me to use that name for all of the transfers. That was some clever thinking on your part and I see you are indeed a very intelligent and business orientated man. It gives me great comfort to know I am dealing with such a professional.

Please let me know when you plan to travel to Ghana so I can set things up on my end. I will get the next batch of 0rphans ready for transfer so there will be no issues. I understand very well your concern about third parties being involved, but I do want to propose again that Mr. Geoffrey is continuing to offer you a stay at his hotel in Accra. That is completely up to you, however, and I am completely OK with whatever you choose.

Very good to hear from you my friend! I look forward to catching up with you soon!

-Gus

And ladies and gentleman...

I present to you....

Moses giving a title to his very own Safari!

I am particularly proud of this latest feat from the lad.

It is past mignight here, and I am pretty tired. I will post the email exchange I had with Moses regarding how I got him to do this tomorrow morning Mr. Green

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

^^^

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:33 am

I love the title. It is very fitting. Perhaps it is possible to use some features from the book and incorporate them into the safari.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:39 am

Just how did you get him to take that photo? Cool

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:48 am

Awesome!

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:15 pm

Great stuff. Looking forward to the next Chapter and Verse.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:38 pm

Thank you very much for the replies! As I was telling someone who PMed me, it makes all of this worthwhile Very Happy

It was very similar to when I PMed TM and Dr Mike to tell them I appreciate their work, and they told me to have a crack at baiting myself!

Dr Mike - I really like that idea. I think it would hilarious to incorporate some of the aspects of the story of Exodus, and Moses in general, for his next safari. I am definitely all ears if you have any suggestions. I also wanted to catch up with you and TM about Moses' Ghana safari, and what will happen there. I have a few ideas that involve some previous characters, and wanted to run it by you guys.

So...

I just arrived to work, have my cup of coffee, and it's fairly slow here, so I will start posting the exchanges of how I got Moses to create the sign...

When we last left Moses and Mr. Twats a few weeks ago, Mr. Twats was having trouble sending Moses the funds. Originally, Mr. Twats went to send Moses the transfer fee, but Mr. Fring denied the request because he knew it was 419. Mr. Fring then reached out to Moses with the 0rphan transfers idea. Mr. Twat's had some other difficulties domestically (with his cat), and then at the bank due to the very strange bank name Moses gave.

A bunch of fairly boring and monotonous ("Go see Mr. Fring and send the payment...") emails were exchanged. Then Mr Twat's and Moses had the following exchange:

Quote:

Sir,

I was on my way to Money Gram today to transfer you the funds, but I first had to stop at my attorney's office so I could settle some other affairs. I spoke with him about my loan, and he insist that I need to receive from you your Article of Incorporation for your loan company so I know you and your company are legitimate. We discussed that even though the $2,020 isn't a large amount of money, I still need to be careful.

I look forward to your next email.

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? i want you to know we are legitimate loan company that was while i sent you the loan contract deed to sign, but its has been taking to our security department of the company, please you are delaying this transaction we have alot of customers making payment and receiving their loan.

i know you have to be careful that was why i personally directed you to Mr. Fring in the Money Gram, please i want you to go now to his office he is waiting for you, Your loan is still very active and awaiting transfer once this payment is mad your loan will be transferred to you okay

God Bless You

Quote:

Sir,

If you do not have or can not send any type of company documents for security purposes, I understand that. If that is the case, then as a sign of faith, and so I know who I am dealing with and can trust you, I want you to do something so I know I can trust you. I am a God fearing, Christian man. In our church, our pastor has stressed the importance of the Exodus story, and the vital role Moses played in the Bible. Our pastor recently explained to us the story of how Moses freed his people from the enslavement of the Pharaohs. This glorious story has inspired me.

I want you to take a picture of yourself holding a sign with the following written on the sign:

THE EXODUS OF MOSES

The words on the sign must be clear and large. The sign can be a simple piece of regular paper, but it must be large enough so I can see the words written on the paper. This will be a good will gesture on your part so I know you are an honest man. This is a very simple and easy task and it will allow me to trust you. Upon receiving the picture of you holding the sign, I will go to Money Gram immediately and transfer you the funds. As one good christian brother to another, I look forward to doing further business with you, and hope to receive your reply soonest.

Thank you.

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing?" Why are you delaying this transaction now all the same i will have to give your loan to some else, this is over a month now that your loan has been approved for transfer but yet you are delaying it, i sent you a contract you refuse to sign and you except me to act according to your wish, i will try my best to send you the picture any time i am free.

I want you to send me your identity before i send the picture to you without this i can do that okay., if i am not a God fearing Man to i will direct you to go and meet Mr. Fring The manager please do yourself this favor act fast and get back to us.

Regards

Quote:

Sir,

This is non negotiable. I will not conduct any further business with you until you send me the picture so I know I can trust you.

Quote:

Okay i will send the picture

Quote:

Very good sir. I will know for certain that I can trust you and that you are a good Christian brother. Please send the picture as soon as possible so I can send you the transfer money.

Thank you.

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? i want you to go straight to money gram on the receipt of this Mail okay, as i speck now Mr. Fring is waiting for you in his office so that we can transfer your loan to you today,

I want you to act fast and get back to us with the scan copy of the money gram receipt.

Tanks

Quote:

Mr. Smith,

You must be a very stupid man. Only weeks ago, you sent me that SAME exact rubbish picture, and I explained to you that I knew it was fake. Do you not remember admitting to me it was a joke picture? do you not remember filling out the Apology Form? Do you not remember admitting to me you are a black man from Nigeria? (Moses had sent me the same exact template picture and filled out an apology form for trying to deceive me a few weeks prior. He must have a very poor memory)

Look Mr. Smith, I am going to give you one final chance. You already sent me that stupid picture and admitted to me it was a joke. You also told me you are a black man, so why you would send the same stupid fucking picture is mind blowing! This is your very last chance. In your next email, take a picture of yourself, holding the sign! The sign must have the letters in BIG AND BOLD LETTERS! If you are unable to do this, FORGET ABOUT ME SENDING YOU THE LOAN TRANSFER FEE! I WILL USE ANOTHER NEGERIAN LOAN COMPANY. THAT IS FINAL!

If your next email does not have the picture of YOU holding the sign, DON'T BOTHER TO EMAIL ME ANYMORE! I am SO tired of your stupid games.

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? This is to inform you that your loan request has been cancelled you are not READY?

After all the effort i put in to make sure your loan get at easy you fuck it up i am not a NIGERIAN i am from South Africa, i have been in this business for a long time now so what is $2020 compare to the loan of $500,000.00, i don't truth you are a scammer, u refuse to sign the loan contract deed in case you run away with my money so i can sow you to Court, even your identity card you refuse too.

If you need your loan you must sign the loan contract and send me your identity card, But if you go meet another loan lender and they took away your money don't come back to my Company.

Can you imagine how do i know Mr. Fring The manager, for confirm testimony go and meet Mr. Fring ask him about me before you transfer the funds if the is testimony is good, then you transfer the money but if its bad then don't transfer the money. This my company has root all over the World. (He is totally hooked that Mr. Fring is on his side)

God bless You
Regards
Smith

Quote:

As I said in my previous email, you are a very stupid man. Let's review a few points, shall we?

-You sent me the same exact stupid picture a few weeks ago
-After I challenged you on it, you admitted it was a fake and that you were "joking"
-You admitted to me you are a black man
-You filled out my Apology Form for trying to deceive me
-Again, you are a very stupid man

Now, listen to me Mr. Smith. I have already been in communication with a few other loan agencies from Africa. They are offering better rates and their agents have been far more professional than you have. If you have cancelled my loan, that is fine, as I will use one of the other African loan companies. However, if you would still like to conduct business with me, you will follow my instructions and send me the picture I requested. I am willing to forget about all that has happened, as I feel if you send me the picture I am requesting, then I can trust you. If you would like to forfeit all of our business that has taken weeks to negotiate, I understand. I have the cash, in hand, right now waiting to send if you send me the picture I requested.

Also, I do not know what Mr. Fring has to do with our business transaction. Mr. Fring is merely the managing director of Money Gram, that I know from the neighborhood.

If in your next email you do not send me the picture I requested, I will consider our business concluded, and will be using another loan company. The choice is your Mr. Smith.

-A little side note, keep in mind this was all occurring while he was on his safari in Abuja

Quote:

Hello
send me your identity card for me to trust you too, without this i cannot send you my picture again.

Regards

Quote:

Our business is now concluded and I will be using a different Nigerian loan company. Good day.

Quote:

Good luck

Playing hardball I see....

Quote:

Thank you. I will be sending the transfer fees to the other loan company tomorrow. The other loan company is offering me a $700,000 loan and I only have to send a $3,200 transfer fee.

I confirmed that Mr. Fring is working tomorrow and will assist me with the transaction. It is a shame that you couldn't be honest with me and send me a simple picture. We could have done a lot of business together. Oh well, I guess that is how it goes sometimes. I wish you and your company much success.

-At this point, this is where Moses proposed chopping Mr Twats. He emailed Mr. Fring and told him that Mr. Twats would be coming to my office to send funds to a different loan company, and that I should divert the funds to him! I told him this would be a very stupid move because as soon as Mr. Twats complained, I would be investigated and then our original plan for the big bucks with the 0rphan transfers would be compromised. He dropped it after that and I suppose decided to actually send the picture.

Or did he...

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? i am ready to send the picture for you now...i want you to ask this other loan company to send you a picture too for confirmation and verification.

Regards

Quote:

Mr. Smith,

I highly suggest you send me the picture I requested as soon as you possibly can because I am ready to send the money. the other loan company has already provided me with pictures and identification so I already trust them. If you send me the picture within the next few hours I will cancel my loan with them and use your company. However, if you do not send the picture soon, I will be sending them the money.

Quote:

Hello
i want you to cancel the other transaction with the other company, i will send it for you on Monday when i am in the office okay

SORRY FOR THE DELAY

Quote:

UNACCEPTABLE.

I told you I want the picture today! If I don't have it tomorrow, then I will be using the other loan company! Take the picture right now and send it, or I will be sending the $3,200 to the other loan company tomorrow!

That is final!

Quote:

Hello
i want you not understand that today is Saturday we are off work today but due to fact that you are very important that is why are i am replying your email okay so i want you to be patient okay, i am willing to increase your loan to $700,000 with that same transfer fee of $2020 okay due to your patient.

Hope to hear from you.

God bless You.

Quote:

I accept these conditions. However, you MUST send the picture tomorrow. Do you agree to these terms?

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing? this is the photo your loan has been fully processed awaiting transfer. Your swift reply is needed.

Quote:

This is now the fourth time you have tried to deceive me. Mr. Smith, I told you weeks ago I worked as a graphic artist for years! The imagine you sent to me is CLEARLY an edited and photoshopped picture. All I had to do is look at the properties and I can see you edited the face.

IT SAYS IT RIGHT IN THE PROPERTIES OF THE PICTURE WHEN ANALYZED!

I can't believe you are still wasting my time. I KNOW THAT IS NOT YOU.

Now, since I had the other loan company put my loan on hold, I am going to give you ONE final opportunity to send me your REAL picture. Understand what I tell you very well:

IN YOUR NEXT EMAIL IF YOU TRY TO TELL ME THAT PICTURE IS YOU AND THAT IT ISN;T PHOTOSHOPPED, YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN\

IF YOU SEND ME ANOTHER FAKE PHOTO, YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN

IF YOU LIE TO ME AGAIN, YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN.

How am I supposed to trust someone with $2,200 who has lied to me and tried to deceive me so many times? Mr. Smith, you have ONE final chance to take a SIMPLE FUCKING PICTURE OF YOURSELF WITH THE SIGN. If you want the $2,200 for the transfer fee, you will take the simple picture. If you would rather try and deceive me, that is your choice but remember, if in your next email you try to tell me that you aren't lying and that the picture is you and that the picture isn't photoshopped, YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN.

Choose wisely.

And then FINALLY...

Quote:

Hello
how are you doing sorry for the delay, i want you to go and make the payment via money gram and get back to us immediately so that we can transfer your loan of $700,000.00 to you immediately

God Bless Richly

So that is where we are at for now. Moses is back in Lagos, planning his trip to Ghana. He is also expecting Mr. Twats to go to Mr. Fring and send him the $2,200 transfer fee. I suspect something will go wrong for Mr Twats when trying to transfer the funds, perhaps even a tragic accident...

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:56 pm

To incooperate some of the elements from the Exodus could be awesome. Very Happy

Maybe get him to somehow cross Lake Volta (the red sea), go to Mt. Afadjato (Sinai) to pick up a parcel (10 commandments).

If you get him to go in the dry season he might even see a burning bush...

EDIT: Spelling-error (there are probably more)

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 2:35 pm

Major league baiting here. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:05 pm

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Well done!!

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:06 pm

Fantastic work Mankind.

When i mentioned the Exodus theme i was thinking of setting him up with an inept sidekick, we can call him Aron.

In the Bible Aron was the one that made the golden calf, an image of god. I was thinking something similar. But instead of worshipping the wrong thing he can worship (give money) to the wrong person.
I am sure that there are more things that can be incorporated.

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:33 pm

The original Moses went on a 40-year safari - I think even Dr Mike would have trouble making one last that long...

Moses is given the Ten Commands, which he has to sign and return. They would include "Telll no more lies" and "Send no more fake pictures" as well as "Remember that the customer is always right".

He has to go to a bush camp; they'll have a signal to guide him in - a bonfire by night or smoke by day.

Passwords are required - "Burning Bush" and "Golden Calf" spring to mind.

Aron the stupid sidekick can be the one that is eager to meet him but never makes the rendezvous...

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 11:20 pm

See if you can get him to handwrite the book of Exodus and send you the scans. After all, you want him to be intimately familiar with the source material for his next safari. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:20 pm

Yesterday, Moses and Mr. Fring spoke regarding Mr. Twats' transfer. Mr Twats received his security picture and now trusts Moses. He was on his way to the Money Gram office to send Moses the $2,200 transfer fee...

Quote:

Good news

Mr twats will be coming to your office today to make payment to me of $2,020 with the below info,

RECEIVER NAME: 0FASONMU DAVID
COUNTRY: NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: GOD IS GOOD?
ANSWER: ALL THE TIME
AMOUNT: $2,020

Help me and send me the scan copy and transfer it immediately so that i can proceed with our deal.

God Bless You

Quote:

Hello Moses,

I will be sure to look out for Mr. Twats. I have been at the office all day today and he has not arrived yet. If he does, I will be notified. Do you know when he may be arriving?

Also, when do you plan to go to Ghana? I would like to start putting things in place.

Thank you.

-Gus

Quote:

Hello
Tanks for your email, i want you to know since this funds is transfer to me i will en-back on Journey to Ghana.

Regards

And then today, Moses received the following from Mr. Fring...

Quote:

Moses,

I have some very distressing news. I arrived at the office this morning and sat down to have my breakfast and read the newspaper. It appears Mr. Twats was involved in a car accident yesterday and he died from his injuries. I have scanned and attached the newspaper article so you can see.

This is very tragic news my friend. I didn't know Mr. Twats well, but he was a very nice man. I am very saddened by his death.

However, and I do not want to come across as callous, but we do need to stay focused for our own personal business. The next batch of 0rphan transfers for Ghana are situated and secure. I have already used the name you suggested, so there will be no issues when you go to collect them. Please let me know how soon we can start moving on this.

I am not sure how well you knew Mr. Twats, but if you want to talk about it, I am here for you.

Your friend,

-Gus

*Thanks for all of the comments and accolades guys! Especially from heavy hitters such as yourselves! I take it as an extreme compliment! I will be sure to work in your suggestions somehow...

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:08 pm

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

I love those fake newspaper clippings. They can add a whole new dimension to a bait... and I'm pretty sure that Harry Bunghole is award an winning journalist.

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:29 pm

Mr. Labowski wrote:

I'm pretty sure that Harry Bunghole is award an winning journalist.

I disagree - he's one of those ambulance-chasing bottom feeders.

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 12:00 am

A distraught Moses reacts to the news of Mr. Twats death and waxes philosophically...

Quote:

OH MY GOD

i so sad about this news!!!

God is father of all and ruler of kingdom of man and heaven and Twat death will no doubt allow passage through the gate of heaven gently
For you see God must surely have callen his earth bound body as his duty as instrument of God is complete and he can enjoy the bounty of the harvest of heaven

i speck now he was my last hope? (still only cares about himself)

Regards

Mr. Fring tugs at Moses' heart strings and lets him know the devastation he has caused. But ever business minded, Mr. Fring stays detached from the severity of what has transpired, and keeps his eye on the prize of obtaining the transfers...

Quote:

Hello Moses,

The community is deeply saddened by the news of Mr. Twats death. As I mentioned, I did not know Mr. Twats well, but from everyone I spoke to, he was a pillar of the community. Apparently he was using the "loan" money you were going to provide him to repair a local homeless shelter that was badly damaged in a fire. There have been hundreds of displaced homeless people across the city because they now have no place to stay. Mr. Twats was working to rebuild the shelter and provide aid to hundreds of people with the money he believed he was receiving.

I read in the article that the police found a "large sum of money" on Mr. Twats body. I believe this was the money he was going to send to you for the loan. The road in which he crashed on is a main road to the Money Gram office, so there is no doubt his death occurred while he was on the way to send the funds. Mr. Twats death has caused a cascade of terrible events. Not only did the man die, and his son is devastated, but (even though there never was a loan anyway), the homeless shelter is still in ruins, and the hundreds of homeless people are still dispersed all over the city, struggling to stay alive. This has truly been an awful day for the city.

However sad you may be because you directly caused this mans death, we still must move on. Please let me know how soon you can get to Ghana. Ideally, I would like to have this completed by the beginning of next week. Please inform me what your status is.

-Gus

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2012 Posts: 616

nicely done, well played on getting the photo trophy. those seem to be getting harder and harder to get.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

However sad you may be because you directly caused this mans death

That's awesome! Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 27 Aug 2014 Posts: 482

Really enjoying this, The live streaming of this safari makes me feel like I'm there. Loved the fake newspaper

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:15 pm

The exchange between Moses and Mr. Fring today...

Quote:

Hello
tanks for your email, i am very ready to go Ghana but the problem now is the money for the flight i have been able to raise $250 now i need additional $200 okay, once i get this money i will go straight to Ghana for the deal okay. let me know if you can provide me the remain money needed, assuming Mr. Twats did not die by today i would have been on my way to Ghana once the funds is transferred.

Hope to hear from you

Quote:

Hello Moses,

I am glad to see you are almost ready to embark upon your journey to Ghana. Right now I very tight with funds. I am not sure if you are familiar with the phrase "when it rains it pours," but in addition to Mr. Twats death, but yesterday my dog stubbed his toe and we had to rush him to the veterinarian's office. The bill for that was $425, which I thought was outrageous, but I'd do anything for my widdle puppy wuppy.

Anyway, please do everything in your power to raise the additional funds you need. Moses, keep in mind, you will only need a one way ticket to Ghana because as soon as you arrive, you can pick up the transfers and you will have thousands of dollars to buy a returning ticket.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your friend,
-Gus

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