A Twit for TWAT - Still Lying, Still Lazy; Still a Lad

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:42 pm

Both Anita and Sal heard from the Twit this morning.

Thu 4:12pm
Anita: My luv, I snuck 2 the resorts office center while every1 is drinking. I don't understand why u refused 2 marry me.
Fri 1:44pm
Anita: I'm back. Did u never luv me?
9:24am
Godwin: i really do love you and will always do
Anita: I relly don't want 2 talk 2 u ok.
Godwin: why ?
Anita: I can no longer talk 2 u. Ur not part of the Church.
Godwin: That is so sad to hear
How do you mean ?
Anita: I told u in the beginning, I can only talk 2 men in my Church.
Anita: Ur not in it, so, as hard as it is, I must say goodbye ok?
Godwin: i really do know how you feels love but i want you to understand that it wasn't never my intention to leave you hanging at the FIRE
Anita: I didn't even get any info. But it happened even if u didn't intented it. It must be HIS choice.

***************************

Godwin: Haven't heard from you for days now bro. Hope everything is cool ?
Sal: With you? No. It's anything but cool dude. And you are not allowed to call me bro, dude.
Godwin: That is a bad thing to say
you are always like a mentor to me and i will always look up to you no matter what ok
Sal: Dude none of that shit matters. I tried to learn you and your fucking lazy, lying ass just ignored every fucking thing.
You fucking embarrassed my ass and cost me money dude.
And just like this shit, you go silent at all the wrong fucking times.
Godwin: it wasn't really my intention to cost you all that
you know that i was robber ed while in Lagos and that was why i was not able to come. just wanted to keep it to myself Rolling Eyes

Sal: BULL FUCKING SHIT. YOU ARE DOING NOTHING BUT SPOUTING SHIT DUDE.
Godwin: No, i just didn't wanna to tell you then so that i would be boarding you
Sal: Whatever dude. Keep lying to yourself then over your own damn laziness and failures.
Godwin: you know that to be at the FIRE is one of the biggest moment of my life that i have waiting for
And cannot just afford to miss it for any reason whatsoever
Sal: But you did dude. Over and over. YOU FUCKED UP.
Godwin: yes i knew that i fucked up
And my fucked up is really still hurting me up to this moment
Sal: Too fucking bad dude.
Should have thought of that shit before. Like I said, I would have rented a car. See ya dude.
Godwin: At the point, i just didn't know what to do cos a lot of things was happening
Sal: I walked your lazy good for nothing ass through everything dude. Leave me the fuck alone. You're a waste of time. Fuck. You couldn't even begin to think about doing some forgiveness shit TWIT would require.
Godwin: ok How do i do that so that they will understand that i am really sorry and would never fail again
Sal: Not my place to tell you dude and I have no desire to help your ungrateful ass.
You fucking really lied to me and disappointed me to no end. You little fucker cost me over $80K.

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:56 am

It seems this Twit still likes Sal. As always, Sal is NSFW.

Godwin: hi dude
what are you up today ?
just received a message from my mentor this that he has been relieved from this duty as a minister in the TWAT
Sal: Yeah dude. What do you think caused that shit storm?
Godwin: He told me that the Reverend told him that what caused the storm is because he didn't perform his duties well as a mentor to his new initiates
Sal: And who was his new intitiate dude?
Godwin: it is me of course
Sal: So who caused the shit storm dude?
Godwin: it is me
Sal: Fucking A it is.
Godwin: i have been in deep thoughts since all this started dude
Sal: Deep thoughts on what dude?
Godwin: How is it a fucking A?
All this that is happening to me
Sal: Brought on by your failures and silence dude.
Godwin: yes i know but i told everything what was happening to me then
Sal: It means you're not committed dude.
Godwin: And how it was hard for me raising that money for my traveling to Mali at the last minute
i am seriously committed here
Sal: Dude you said you had it no problem.
There your ass goes again. Fuck this dude.
Tue 2:15pm
Godwin: yes i do
Sal: Yes you do what dude? You do jack shit.
Godwin: I will talk to the Reverend so that he will know what to do
Sal: Good luck dude, but I doubt they even talk to your sorry ass..
Godwin: i will have to try first cos there is no hurt in trying
Sal: Where are you now dude?
Godwin: i am in my House in Owerri city
Sal: Sure you are dude.
Godwin: yes i am
it is just that the Country is a bad shape at the moment and nothing is moving anymore
Sal: Dude you get in your own way with your fucking excuses blaming everything but yourself. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. Man up or cut off your sack dude.
Godwin: That is why i am doing my best cos i really need this change in my life an be successful for life
Sal: Well dude, your best absolutely sucks balls.
Godwin: Not really dude that is because you are not here with me an know what is happening here
Sal: Trust me dude. I know shit. And I know you have lied and broken promises over and over. That kind of fuckery is on you. Nothing else. Doesn't matter if you were on a spaceship to fucking Kingdom Come, it has nothing to do with lies and broken promises. I don't trust you dude. Too many fuck ups.
Godwin: That was why i told you that i am a changed person now
Anything that i am telling you is from the depth of my heart
why will i lie to you again ?
Sal: Why would you lie ever before dude?
I smell big piles of caca here dude. It's like your mouth is one long shit stream.
Godwin: That was because i told you that i couldn't raise the money that i need to travel to Mali within that short period of time that i got the notice but you wouldn't believe me
Sal: Then on Friday your ass said you FLEW to Legoland and had the money.
Godwin: yes but the money that i had with me was not enough for my traveling and i was expecting a friend to send me some money but he failed me
Sal: No dude. You failed.
1:19am
Godwin: ok. yes i know that i failed
10:04am
Godwin: we should be discussing about how i am going get back into the TWAT now and about my failure cos it is the thing of the past now
11:12am
Sal: Why dude?
Godwin: i have sent a message to the Reverend and waiting to get a reply from him and my fate tells me that everything will be fine again
Sal: Not when you fuck everything up dud.
Godwin: My mentor told me that they TWAT can still accept me back again
Sal: You have another fucking mentor? After that shit you pulled?
Godwin: My old mentor told me that
i am looking for another mentor to be assign to me
Sal: Fuck. You really think anyone will take you??
Godwin: yes. i think so cos my fate is so strong to stand the test of time
Sal: It wasn't strong enough to get your ass to the conference dude.
What about fucking Anita?
Godwin: Anita is preparing to move to Asia soon to meet with the Minister there but i guess that she still want me. once i have been accepted back again into the family. i am going to talk to the Reverend about her so that she will come back to me
She told that you told her that i didn't want to come to the conference and meet and fuck her because i love boys
Sal: Well isn't that true dude?
Godwin: That is very bad dude of you . you should have atleast keep that secret for me
Sal: Why do you even care dude? You didn't even have the common courtesy to fucking show up. She was fucking worried sick and thought it was her fault. I told her you didn't even fucking like her.
Godwin: i like keeping people's secret dude and would love if you will do the same for me
Sal: To fucking destroy her life dude? I just told her. That fine ass deserves happiness.
She didn't even put out at the conference I hear dude.
Godwin: i really do care about Anita so much and i am ready to stop fucking boys because of her
yes she told me everything and i am ready to give her happiness that she deserve
i am gradually changing because of her
i do no longer have the urge to fuck boys anymore because of her
Sal: Whatever dude.
Godwin: if i tell you that i am a changed man, i want you to believe me
yes
Sal: Can't believe anything you say dude.
Godwin: why?
Sal: You have done nothing but lie to me dude!
Godwin: well, you have to start believing me from now on dude
i am promising you that i am gonna lie to you again
i cross my heart
Sal: EXACTLY WHAT U WROTE DUDE. I can count on it, huh?
Godwin: yes i want you to count on it
Sal: Read what ur lying ass wrote dude.
Godwin: what is happening and where are you now
Sal: What is happening with what dude?
Godwin: where you are right now ?
Sal: Miami.
Why?
Godwin: Are you in Miami now ?
Sal: Isn't that what I just wrote dude?
Godwin: ok
i thinking about moving to U.S.A
what do you think about that ?
Sal: Whatever dude.
Godwin: oh. Are my disturbing you here dude ?
Sal: You couldn't even fucking travel in your own fucking country and now you're going to move halfway around the world. More fucking lies dude.
Godwin: No, i am very serious here dude and ii have told you that i will never lie to you again ok ?
Sal: How the fuck are you going to do that.
Godwin: That is why i am telling you
Sal: HOW NOT FUCKING WHY
Godwin: i am going to pay for my trip and visa, all i need is your contact that will do that for me
Though i want to tell the Reverend about it cos he once told that the TWAT can move me to the U.S if i want
Sal: Why should I do shit for you dude? How is it you can all of a sudden come up with money to move to the other side of the world but can't get a bus ticket?
Dude, why do you think you're a TWAT?
Godwin: Because i have a strong faith and believe so much in the TWAT
i hope that you are ot still carrying grudges for me because of i missed the FIRE and made you to spend $80k dude ?
I want you to be rest assured that one of this days that i am still going to return the favor to you ok ?
There is a property agent business that i am doing at the moment that is going to pay me some money and i want to use the money to move to U.S.A
Sal: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK DUDE?
Godwin: i am tired of this Country
Sal: Sure dude. And who is this property agent business?
Godwin: He is my friend that want to sell this hotel and i am the one one doing the agent for him an contacting some buyer
if i succeed in selling it, he will give 10 percent
Sal: Which hotel dude? I've invested in some in the past.
Godwin: it is a 3 start hotel
Sal: That's it's fucking name?
I don't care of your opinion on the damn thing.
Godwin: ok
The name is XXXX Hotel in Owerri
what are you saying ?
Sal: And your friends name?
Godwin: what do you want to do with his name dude ? do you want to buy the hotel ?
Sal: Answer the fucking question.
Godwin: He is Mr Kelvin.
Don't spoil this business for me dude cos i am the agent in charge of selling it
And i need that money so that i will move out of here
Sal: That fucking dude doesn't even own the hotel.
Godwin: That is the guy in charge of it
Sal: Well he can't fucking sell it if he doesn't own the damn thing.
Godwin: The owner put him in charge of selling it
Sal: Sure. Off to the beach dude. Whatever.
And the owner's name?
Godwin: i don't know his name. i am only a middle man agent here
Sal: I see the lying continues dude.
Sending off inquiries now before the beach dude.
Godwin: Stop calling me a liar dude, i don't like it
Sal: Then don't fucking lie.
Godwin: i am not lying to you ok ?
can't you just believe me for once
Sal: When you show you're telling the truth. I have contacts there dude. I'm reaching out to them. Maybe I'll be interested. Maybe not. Depends how much truth is in your story.
4:45pm
Godwin: ok
i am very serious to move to U.S and really need your contact
just forgot about been interested in buying the hotel dude cos i have already gotten a buyer
Sal: Of course you have.
Get the Church to give you their contact info dude.
Godwin: ok. i will do that
Sal: I don't trust you with shit dude.
Godwin: For how long are you going to continue not to trust me dude ?
Sal: Until you have proven yourself dude. And stopped bein a liar.
Godwin: ok
In what way do you want me to prove myself to you ?
So that you will stop calling me a liar
Sal: You tell me dude.
Godwin: you should be the one to tell me so that i will do it and prove myself to you
Sal: You have no fucking ideas dude?
Godwin: For now none Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Wow, Anita makes him want to "stop fucking boys." Sounds like true love to me.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ Hahahahahahaha - I agree, it does, doesn't it? Laughing

ETA

It would be superb to see this lad have to pay some arduous and painful penalty now, as well as having to keep looking over his shoulder, awaiting some dire additional punishment from the inner circle 'Eye' guys, ISIS and, perhaps, the TWAT itself..

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:20 pm

Poor Farouk (or "Fuckwad", as he is referred to internally)...

Where once he sported the rather grandiose title of "Regional Minister -- Middle East and North Africa", he has recently been demoted to the considerably less impressive position of "Second Assistant Librarian to the First Undersecretary of the Church Knowledgebase/Wreathed Assistant Deputy". (Yeah, yeah -- as acronyms go, I know it's nowhere near as clever as "LABIA" or "VULVA" but what can I say? Sometimes there is a large gulf between the baiters we are and the baiters we aspire to be.)

Anyway, a rather despondent Fuckwad sent the following email to Godwin:

Quote:

I am writing this to be letting you know that I just was of the having a long conversion with <PHYSTME>.

To be of the putting it quite bluntly, he is not happy that I failed not only to get you to be travelling to the FIRE conference in Tombouctou but that it is also appearing that I caused you to consideration leaving the Sacred and Hallowed Church of the TWAT. And then, when once he Phystme found out that you had been communication with other embers of the Church, and not me, that was for him the last straw on his camel's back so he took away my position as Minister.

To be fair, it is not entirely being my fault since I was of the having prolblems with my staff but it is at my feet at which Phystme is to be of the placing of the blame. During my conversion with Phystme, he criticaled my techniques of working with my Initiates and he Phystme even told me that the reason for which I entered the Faith was not the true mission of the Church.

While I am of the fearing that this spells it for my future with in the Church, I do not think things they are entirely lost for you. Since they the Church still need a Lead Minister for Nigeria, if you are of the contacting Phystme, or who ever else it is you may be speaking with, and be explainting what it was that happen, I am confident that they will put you in touch with a new mentor who will be better equip to oversee your entry to the Church.

Please take care, my friend.

Farouk got a quick response back from Godwin:

Quote:

it is good to read from you again and i am very sorry to hear that you have been relieved off from your duty as a Minister in the TWAT. I feel so sad to hear about it and please i am very for have causing you that. You were indeed a great mentor to me and would always be. I don't why the Great Reverend would blame you for my failure to be at the FIRE.
It is my believe that everything happens for a reason, though i did my best to be there at the FIRE but all my effort to be there failed and along the line get stuck on the way.
But i want you ask you, what is really the true mission of the church ?

And, shortly thereafter, Phystme also got a response. (I don't know why, but I get the impression our Twit may be doing a little bit of cut-n-paste...):

Quote:

it is good to read from you Sir but first of all, i want to deeply apologies for not being able to make it to the completed FIRE conference and glad to heard that it was indeed a successful one.
Though i started my journey of fate late and failed, i did my very best to be there but all my effort to be there failed and along the line get stuck along the way. I am sincerely very sorry from the the depth of my heart for my failure and the inconveniences that i have caused to everyone.
It is my believe that everything happens for a reason, reasons best known to the one that see nth and know nth everything.
My fate in the TWAT is very strong and would stand the test of time and if given a second chance to be a member again in TWAT and not a Minister or a Lead Minister will do my best and serve, spread the TWAT diligently.
I am waiting to get a respond from you Sir and would be happy if my humble request is granted.

I haven't yet responded to Godwin as Phystme and begun the questioning of his "fate" but there's plenty more correspondence from Farouk to come...

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 11:35 pm

Farouk wrote:

I am not of the believing of you, really I am not.

You were of the lying to me about your interest in going to Tombouctou, you were of the lying to me when you told me you were on your way and asked me to be of the delaying of the TWAT plane, you were of the lying to me when you said you have prolblems on the way, and you were probably of the lying to me when you taled me you were dead.

And then when I taled you that that <PHYSTME> he took away my position as Minister becuase of you, you tale me that every thing it happens for a reason?

And then you are of the asking me of what is the really true mission of the <CHURCH> and the Secret of the Eye?

My former mentee, you are reminding me of a dog who is of the barking at the incorrect tree.

Have you noticed that when Farouk gets upset, he begins playing "Metaphors Julienne" with his idioms?

The Twit wrote:

I really do understood how angry that you are with me for causing you been removed from your position as a Minister in the TWAT
I know that it was my very fault why you are removed from your position as a Minister in the TWAT, i want you to know that i am sincerely very sorry for causing you that and want you to understand that i didn't lie to you and I didn't in anyway told you that i am dead.
And i guess that it was <PHYSTME> that assumed that i was dead since i haven't yet arrived at the FIRE for days since i started my journey to Tombouctou.
I did started my journey to Tombouctou the pick up location but i had a problem on the way and lost every contacts that i had with me and get stuck there on the way for days, that was why i couldn't contact you or get to Tombouctou again.

I know very well what the TWAT is all about, i only what want to know the true mission of the TWAT and what they are looking forward in achieving that was why i asked that question.

I have sent <PHYSTME> message since yesterday but haven't heard from him. i hopefully wish that to hear from him so that i will know what to do.
Please <FAROUK>, find a place in your heart and accept my humble apologize, i am truly very sorry for everything that i have caused you.

Farouk is unmoved:

Quote:

I hope you are of the under standing that I can not be of the believing of anything that you are saying to me any mores. So, when you are claiming that you am sincerely very sorry for causing me being removed from my positon as a Minister in the TWAT, do you think I am of the believing of you for even one red-coloured second?

And, if you should be tyring to be of the claiming that you are not lying to me and that you did infact be starting of your journey to Tombouctou the pick up location and you were of the having of a problem on the way and you were of the losing of every contacts that you had with you, then why is it you were able to be of the speaking with Brother <SAL> and Sister <ANITA> whilst on your travels, but not me? That is being a lie and that is making you a liar. Capital "L", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. (I love Denis Leary, and "The Ref" is a criminally underappreciated Christmas movie.)

My former mentee, your words are less than whispers on the winds to me. (I was trying to find a polite way of saying "fart in the wind" here. Turns out "Whispers on the Wind" is a Dream Theater song. So, yeah, I actually made an *unintentional* DT reference...) Do you think I am really of the caring that you are truly very sorry for everything that you have caused me? Becuase of you, I have lost my positon with the <TWAT Church>, I am no longer receipting moneys for the entire regions of Middle East and North Africa and am insead doing the shelving of books for some one who used to report to me? And you are thinking that your words and apolojecting will be enoughs to be making me happy and going lucky after all you took from me?

The Twit wrote:

You have to believe me if i am telling you that i really understand how you feels at the moment and if i am telling you that i am very sorry please you have to believe me.

I was able to be contacting <SAL> while i was stuck on my way to Mali with my Small Nokia phone through the Facebook USSR (what?!?) that allows someone to use Facebook without internet.
That was how i was able to contact him and not you because i cannot have access to my E mail with that phone.

Farouk is still not happy, but he is softening somewhat:

Quote:

Well, all of that may be very fine and well and dandied but it does not be at all of the taking away from the loss of my positon with the <CHURCH>.

I was once a Regional Minister and well on my ways to becoming a member of the TWAT's Congregation of Leaders, Intelligentsia and Trainers and now all I am doing all of the day is taking books from one shelf, placing them on a cart, moving them to a different shelf, and then placing them the books on the new shelf.

And do you know what there is that is interesting abuot moving books? Absolutely nothing!

My former mentee, if you want me to be of the helping you, you needs must be of the helping me. So, before I can be of the helping answering your questions of the true mission of the TWAT and what they are looking forward in achieving, what is it you can possibly be doing for me?

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:13 am

Quote:

Small Nokia phone through the Facebook USSR (what?!?)

My thoughts exactly! Anyone here know what Facebook USSR is? I can't imagine the TWAT looks too kindly on godless-communism...

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 12:20 am

^Never heard of it.

@TLH, I think the TWAT Church should decide to put Farouk in charge of Godwin's penance. Hopefully such a decision won't push him over the edge. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 3:50 pm

A very large, and conspicuously placed, LGBT (Let God Bless TWAT) tattoo seems an appropriate start for Godwins penance. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:18 pm

^^^ How soon they forget...

I've still got this bad boy gathering dust on my hard drive!

A Twit for TWAT - Still Lying, Still Lazy; Still a Lad	View next topic View previous topic