S. Larry Massbait - "YOU WILL DIE BY HAKUNA MATATA"

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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 9:25 pm

Quote:

DEAR,LASHWNDA ,ALOL YOU NEED DO NOW IS TO SEND THE FEE OF 2000 USD TO THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS FOR THE FEE TO BE CONFIRMED AND ONCE ITS CONFIRMED WE WILL SEND YOU YOUR LOST FUNDS AND THE COMPENSATIONS,HERE IS THE DETAILS TO SEND FEE TO ,NAME,....SARAH ,IZEGAEGBE,STATE ,BENIN CITY ,.. COUNTRY ,..NIGERIA,,PHONE NUMBER,.. ADRESS ,NO,8 PATRICK EHIMEN ,UGBOR ROAD ,GRA BENIN CITY.PHONE NUMBER,+2348161717991,PLEASE I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU SEND THE FEE TODAY,SO YOUR LOST FUNDS CAN RETRIVE IMEDIATELY ,AM WAITING TO READ BACK FROM YOU SOON,SEND ME THE FEE OF 2000 USD NOW ,PLEASE BE FAST ABOUT THIS FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT ,NO BULLSHITING OKAY,JUST DO WHAT I ASK YOU TO DO NOW ,AM FUCKING WAITING OKAY ,TAKE CARE ,AND STAY BLESSED............

What a loser, I started with four victims, one told him to F off right away. Two replied right away and are still getting to the part of paying. My last one just got around to following up after his initial script, he has a perfectly ripe maga and in his initial response the FBI agent says "no bullshitting and am fucking waiting"???? Oh yeah, but "stay blessed" uh?..I am pretty sure this guy is victim proof.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 2:56 am

^ I'm not sure he's ever going to be able to scam anyone without being super-paranoid that they're just a monkey playing trikish games with him.

Katie wrote:

Jeeebus you could have just said that in the first place!! Why the hell did you have to call me a monkey and a motherfucker?? Thats so rude! I can go back to the western union and find out why there was a number missing from the slip, thats no problem at all, but please dont go crazy at me like you did before, its really scary!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:39 am

Gomer wrote:

BRODA AM SO ANGRY WIT U

I WILL RESERVE MY COMMENT FOR NOW

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:19 am

Don't educate the lad. Act like it's perfectly okay for him to swear and call you names. Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 12:31 pm

Taking my own advice, I'm going to see if I can get Larry to believe he has mystical powers. It's a long shot, but stranger things have happened in baits.

My character wrote:

Quote:

Whoever you are, you must stop this curse NOW!

I wake up this morning to find my dog has been killed and my entire garden has been destroyed! A great wind came through but it was not natural. There were bits of iron (Ogun is associated with Iron) in the wind and they tore through everything! And this happened only in MY GARDEN. It looks like a giant slashed everything with a machette! (Machettes play a big part in the Ogun cult--sign of power--and the big man himself weilds one as do some priests.)
This curse must stop! I have done nothing to earn this.

STOP IT NOW BY HEAVEN. You must stop this because it is evil what you have called down upon me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 5373

He sounds broke so I want him to spend some money on a call

Quote:

Agent Larry,
What on earth are you talking about?
Why are you in Africa?
I thought you were here in the US.
I don't think you should be speaking to me this way!
FBI agents aren't supposed to bring religion into any conversttation but you have crossed a line.

Now I have asked you questions and you refuse to answer them.
Instead you throw curses at me. This is bad manners.
I don't feel comfortable sending money until you have answered my questions.
I lost thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on a scam and you are not answereing
any of my questions, but chose instead to curse at me.

I will not send you a thing until you apologize to me, and you will call me on the phone so I can know you are real.
Prissy

Quote:

OKAY,WHATEVER,AM SORRY ABOUT THAT,PLEASE ,SEND ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER,AND I WILL CALL YOU STRAIGHT AWAY OKAY,AM WAITING FOR YOU ,AND MIND YOU SEND THE 1000 DOLLARS ,TO THE INFORMATIONS I SENT YOU,AND I PROMISE YOU WILL RECOVER YOUR LOST FUNDS AND THE COMPENSATIONS OKAY,WAITING FOR YOU NOW,STAY BLESSED............

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 12:41 pm

Ginger Lee wrote:

OKAY,WHATEVER,AM SORRY ABOUT THAT

Totally convinced that was honest and heartfelt Thumbs up

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:05 pm

"hakuna mutata" was popularized by a song from a Disney movie a few years back. It is Swahili for "don't worry"

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:17 pm

I'm pretty sure he is promising me death by animated warthog. It could happen.

This lad's used this on at least two baiters. It might be the result of some de-education--and alas, if so, I might have set him straight before I thought to stop myself --darn.

Oh well; hakuna matatta!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:46 pm

Larry, back on his meds, wrote:

okay,katelyn,am waiting for you to do that now,please resend me the mtcn number correctly ,so we can pick up the funds today,okay,please am waiting for you..........,sorry about my previous mail i sent ,i was so upset with you,because we coul,nd pick up the funds you send ,please send the funds today okay,stay blessed..........

Larry, twenty minutes later, wrote:

PLEASE CALL ME NOW,(snip).AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL ,PLEASE

He'll be waiting a while.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:28 pm

Larry seems to be buying into his magical ability. He's pretty active at this moment. If anyone else wants to get on board Larry's magic bus, now would be a good time.

Me to LooserLarry:

Quote:

I beg you. Stop this. Please.

LL (three hours later):

Quote:

YOU,WILL CONTIUE SUFFERING EXCEPT YOU SEND MY FEE,HAKUNA MATATA WILL PUNISH YOU ,UNTIL YOU SEND ME MY FEE NOW,AM SPIRITUAL KNOW THAT NOW,YOU ASSHOLE,OKAY..

Ohhh i am scared now because I just woke from a terrible dream:

Quote:

Why? Why? Why are you doing this? I did you no wrong.

What do you want from me? I fell asleep, exhausetd and had a dream. A giant man with skin like polished ebony stood over me. He was wearing the skin of a lion, but the lion was alive and it tried to kill me. The giant man said I must obey the one calledor the lion will eat my children. H said that if I ever see this man's true face I will be under his spell and will be his property. This dream was so real and my sleep was so unnatural, that I know this was a demon you sent to me.

Please, I am very frightened. I never imagine this kind of thing is real. You have some magic or demon power. you must make it stop or I will never have rest or sleep again.

LL has only one thiong on his mind:

Quote:

HELLO,PLEASE YOU SEND ME MY 1000 USD FEE NOW,AND HELP YOURSELF YOU BLOODY LIAR.

What? His money? So he is not who he claimed to be?
Well, I am too scared, and too poor. there must be another way! Me to LL:

Quote:

You said this $1000 was to get my money back from scammers. But you are some kind of evil sorcerer. You must be very rich because of these powers. Why must you force me to gove you $1000 when I have so little? That is very much money. I must go sell the gold watch that I got from my grandfather to do this.

Please please just remove this curse first. I am afraid to leave my house. I can not just sell it and send the money while I am so much afraid.

LL assures my safety--very big of him:

Quote:

JUST SEND ME THE FEE NOW,AND YOU WILL BE FREE I PROMISE YOU OKAY,AM WAITING TO RECEIEVE THE FUNDS,,,,,,,,,,

I want to comply:

Quote:

I will go and sell my grandfather's watch at the pawn shop. You are making me weep in sadness. I do not know why God lets a demon man like you have power. What is this magic?

I am leaving my home to do this. If your curse kills me then you will get nothing so, please remove the curse now I beg you

.

But he apparently does not know his own strength. It looks like his curse has gone into overdrive. I send him a panicked email about his power gone amuck followed in a few minutes by one that let him gain control of the situation--and all without him actually sending me a message.

Me to our lad:

Quote:

THIS IS A HORROR! There are these wild dogs outside. THREE huge wild dogs outside of my home! We do not have such things here. They are large and noise and very ugly like nothing I ever see before and they are snarling at me. This is from your curse. SEND THEM AWAY! They sound lke they are laughing at me! It is terrible. What did you send to me to kill me? Why do this? I swear I will pay. Send them away now! I am begging with tears. I can not do this with them here. What do you want me to do with this?

followed by this:

Quote:

Okay. They have gone away. What were those things and why did you send them? I told you I will do what you say.

I am leaving now. Do not send any more of those terrible animals, I beg you please.

Perhaps I overplayed it. We will see.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 7:52 pm

Great, we're all gonna die of Hakuna Matata. And I thought I was baiting safely.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:08 pm

Kuwa na Furaha is the answer!

(It's Swahili for "Be Happy")

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:13 am

Katie wrote:

Okay Ive gone back to WU. I told them about how you couldn't get the money and that there was a number missing from that mcnt thing. They were very confused and said that a mnct is meant to have 10 digits and that the one on the receipt also has 10 digits so that means its correct. I said that you still couldnt receive the money anyway so something must be wrong, they said it was a mitsake on your end, i kept on arguing and arguing. Finally the stupid woman properly looked up on the computer and told me that actually we were right, there WAS something wrong with th receipt. THe problem wasnt that a number was missing but that the first time around the stupid clerked typed one of the numbers wrong. Apparently the fourth digit in the mctn was meant to be a 2 but the dumbass wrote a 1 instead!! what an idiot!!

Look anyway they printed me a new receipt which i put into the attachment so I hope this one works properly. Please be quick about this Ive only got a week until I have to pay back those bad people im in debt too!

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:02 am

@Lehigh Guy: The juju angle you're doing is pretty funny, but I think it would be more effective if it was more subtle and understated. Larry is stupid, but he's also ultra-paranoid right now and all but convinced everyone is just playing "dirty games" with him. Not saying to drop the angle, just downplay it somewhat. Wink

For now, can everyone else please stay away from supernatural stuff (unless its so subtle that Larry would really have to connect the dots himself). One character complaining about the effects of Larry's magic may be believable to him, or at least possible to write up as a random crazy, but if lots of characters started emailing him about it I fear he would twig for good.

Unless he is even dumber than I have imagined....

Thanks all.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:06 pm

So the second MTCN didn't work either? Am confuse.

Larry, with renewed confidence in his juju abilities, wrote:

HELLO,DEAR YOU HAVE JUST MAKE FOOL OF YOURSELF NOT ME .BY SENDING ME FAKE MTCN ,IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU JUST SEND ME THE FEE OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE,FOR YOUR DIRTYNGAMES YOU PLAY,SEND ME THE FUNDS NOW OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE SOON,FOR YOUR DIRTY SCAM GAMES YOU PLAY OKAY,YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CREW I GOT ALL YOUR INFORMATIONS AND WHAT YOU DO (um. about that...) , DON,T FUCK AROUND WITH ME ,AM SPIRITUAL,I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE JUST A BLOODY LIAR AND STOP FOOLING YOURSELF,BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE A SCAMMER WITH MR GOMER.,OKAY

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:17 pm

I finally got good ol' Larry to respond to my other character.

Mr. FBI Agent wrote:

DEAR,[LILY] ,THANKS FOR THE MESSAGE ,YES YOUR FRIEND IS RIGHT ,BUT FIRST OF ALL ,BEFORE I CAN RENDER YOU ANY HELP ,YOU MUST SEND ME THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS,NOW BEFORE WE CAN WORK ON THIS OKAY,HERE IS IT,NAME OF THE PERSON THAT FRAUD YOU,...THE AMOUNT THEY FRAUD YOU,,,,,,,. THE EXCUSE HE GAVE YOU TO CLAIM THE MONEY FROM YOU,..JUST FILL OUT THIS INFOR,THERE AFTER WE CHECK ON OUR SYSYTEM TO MAKE CONFIRMATIONS OKAY,I WILL BE WAITING TO READ BACK FROM YOU SOON,TAKE CARE ,AND STAY BLESSED.........

I sent a whole sob story.

Lily wrote:

I was scammed by a person calling themselves Christy Walton. She said she worked for Coca-Cola and that as a loyal drinker I had been selected to receive $10,000,000 USD. Well, first I had to pay a fee to release my funds, so I wired her some money via Western Union. Then she came back and said that I'd have to pay courier fees as well. I wired that money over for that, too. And that wasn't the end of it. Ms. Walton said things got held up in customs in Nigeria, so I'd have pay a Nigerian lawyer to get my funds released. But that wasn't enough. Apparently it's very corrupt over there and I have no idea why they shipped my funds there in the first place. I had to pay more money just to bribe customs officials. Well, the money finally made it to my airport, but they had to ship it secretly, so she told me it came to the airport disguised as black pieces of paper. The chemicals to clean it off are very expensive, she said. She said I'd need to buy them and I'd have to pay shipping, too. Well, I paid all that money, never got the chemicals, never got my money and she won't talk to me now. AND I found out that Christy Walton is not even part of Coca-Cola. She's an heir to the WalMart fortune. So I don't even know this person's real name! I email and email, but nothing. So I've paid $33,375 to this person and I've received nothing in return. Please help me get my money back!

Thank you so much,
[Lily Smith]

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 5:39 am

Gomer, no longer reserving his comment, wrote:

Subject: NA YOUR BLOOD I GO DRINK, NA HAND I GO USE STRANGLE YOU

AM STILL SO ANGRY RITE NOW. I TRY TO WAIT UNTIL AM CALM ENOUGH TO WRITE CIVILIZED REPLY BUT HAVE NOT SUCCEED

BRODA I JUST FEEL SO BETRAYED. I GIVE U SO MANY OPPURTUNITY IN DIS JOBS. I GIVE U TWO DIFFERENT FORMAT N MANY MAGA. ALL DID COST ME TIME N RESOURCE. N NOW U SEND ME ALL DIS INSULTS N CURSES N ACCUSATIONS! NO PROPER GUYMAN SPEAK TO DERE CHAIR DIS WAY.

DO NOT SPEAK UR JUJU TO ME! I WARSHIP THE GOD THAT NEVER FAILS OR CHANGES BY NAME JESUS CHRIST, THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES ON EARTH AND HEAVEN ABOVE. AM NOT A MAN U WANT TO PLAY DIS GAMES WIT OOOOOOOO

U REALLY BEHAVE LIKE A DUMP POOR ASS STILL STRUGGLING IN 9JA. KEEP SUFFERING IN AFRICA AND ALLOW YOUR POOR FAMILY TO DIE IN DARKNESS! YOUR MOTHER PUSSY WILL SMELLING HEAT NOW BCOS U ALWAYS SUFFER FROM DARKNESS...CHAI NEPA ABI NA PHC DON KILL UR GENERATION....ACCIDENT IS VERY CLOSE TO U, MAYBE OKADA OR BUS ACCIDENT WILL KILL ENTIRE GENERATION...BRODA SUFFER IN DIE IN AFRICA! EWU LIKE YOU WEN UR FAMILY DEY SUFFER NIGERIA WIT POWER FAILURE N FAKE FOOD N DIRTY WATER WEN UNA DEY DRINK.....OLOSHI OMO EYA OLORIBURUKU!

NEVER U WRITE ME AGAIN WIT DIS TIME WASTING BULLSHITS! AM SO ANGRY

USELESS INDIVIDUAL!

NO LUV
MR GOMER

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:54 am

A few days ago, Brenda wrote:

ALRIGHT SURE THATS FINE I WILL DO THAT ON FRIDAY SIR THANK YOU BYE

A few days ago, Agent Larry, back on his meds, wrote:

OKAY,BRENDA ,AM WAITING FOR YOU TO SEND THE FEE,OKAY,HOPE YOU SEND IT ON FRIDAY LIKE YOU SAID,AND I PROMISE YOU WILL THEN ,RECOVER,YOUR LOST FUNDS AND THE COMPENSATIONS OKAY,AM WAITING TO READ BACK FROM YOU SOON,TAKE CARE AND STAY BLESSED............

I guess I better get around to generating a transfer slip for Brenda at some point.

To Mr Gomer, Larry, back off his meds wrote:

HELLO,YOU BIG FOOL,IT SHALL NOT BE WELL WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER,YOU BLOODY LIAR ,OGUN KILL YOU ASSHOLE,NEVER TRY THAT WITH ME AGAIN ,BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD ALREADY MONKEY FOOL LIKE YOU ,YOU HAVE JUST MAKE FOOL OF YOURSELF NOT ME OKAY,MOTHERFUCKER,OLOSHI,OLORINBURUKU,LIKE YOU ,YOU JUST WASTE YOUR TIME WANTING TO MAKE FOOL OF ME,CAN,T YOU SEE YOU ARE DEAD ALREADY,DEAD MAN LIKE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CREW ,HAKUNAMATATTA,WILL BEFORE YOU,YOUR LIFE IS GONE FOR ALL THIS YOU HAVE DONE,MONKEY YOU TRY AND WORK HARD ,I WONDER WHAT YOU GAIN FROM YOUR DECIEVEFULL WAYS,YOU PUNKD,...............

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 4:09 am

Katie wrote:

Oh my God you are a crazy person! what the hell is wrong with you!??!? You need a psychiatrist or something srsly... just WTF...

Im heading straight out on the first bus to get my money back from western union and pay back my debters. No way im risking that money with a crazy like you. Sorry. Please dont email me again, you scare me...

Katie

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 9:36 am

Brenda wrote:

HELLO SIR IVE SENT THE FEE LIKE YOU ASK PLEASE SEND MY MONEY SOON THANK YOU BYE

Gee, I sure hope there aren't any problems with this WU receipt.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 7:19 am

Agent Larry wrote:

DEAR,[Lily] , AM IN RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL ALL THOSE DETAILS YOU SEND ME HAVE CHECK OUT PERFECTLY AND IS OUR JUDGEMENTS THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM OF SCAM., YOU HAVE BEEN APPROVED TO RECIEVE COMPENSIONY FEE ,AMOUNT 10,000 DOLLARS ,BEFORE FUNDS CAN BE REALEASE , YOU MUST PAY FEE OF ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS ,TO ENABLE REALEASE OF FUNDS ,PLEASE SEND THE FEE TO THIS INFORMATIONS,THAT IS OUR BRANCH OFFICE IN AFRICA ,NIGERIA,EDO STATE PRECISELY NOW,WHILE I WILL BE WAITING TO PICK UP FUNDS FROM YOU OKAY,HERE ARE THE DETAILS ,,.........NAME,.. SARAH,..SURNAME ,.IZEGAEGBE ,,STATE,...EDO STATE,..COUNTRY ,..NIGERIA ,,..PHONE NUMBER,... +2348161717991,PLEASE ,SEND THE FUNDS AND GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY,AND AFTER THEN ,IF THE FUNDS IS CONFIRMED FROM WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ,YOUR LOST FUNDS AND THE COMPENSATIONS WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU OKAY,PLEASE AM WAITING FOR YOU TO REPLY ME NOW ,, SEND THE FUNDS NOW,,, , SO WE CAN SEND YOU YOUR COMPENSATIONS OKAY ,,,, V PLEASE DON,T KEEP ME WAITING OR ELSE V I WILL BE MAD AT YOU OKAY ,,. ,TAKE CARE AND STAY BLESSED........................................,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Oooh, he's going to get mad at me. What a yutz. He also can't do math. Lily complained she spend over $33,000 in fees and he's offering about a third of that in compensation. And at a thousand dollar fee. I have to find a way to argue the math without upsetting him enough to make him twig. First I'm just going to ask a few questions.

Lily wrote:

Agent Bibi

That's it? $10,000 compensation for the almost $35,000 I spent to get nothing? The FBI can't get me all my money back from these thieves? Are your agents going to go after these criminals and bring them to justice? Make them pay me back? Thanks for answering my questions.

Lily Smith

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 7:28 am

Mr Gomer wrote:

USELESS DEAD MAN U WILL DIE OF POVERTY U N ALL UR FAMILY MEMBER. IF I EVER FIND WERE U LIVE I SWEAR I WILL MAKE U HURT IN WAYS U NEVER IMAGINE. I WANT TO HELP U BUT U DO NOT WANT TO HELP URSELF SO FUCK OFF IDIOT. FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE ODIECHI SO GO AND DIE. GOD OF MY PASTOR SHALL CONFRONT U VERY SOON. PRAY FOR MERCY. I PLEAD DI BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST UPON UR SOUL. CHOSEN IS BLESS N HE DAT CAUSETH DI CHOSEN SHALL BI CAUSE. MAY EARTHQUAKE DESTROY UR GENERATION AMEN.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:27 am

Bort wrote:

Mr Gomer wrote:

FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE ODIECHI SO GO AND DIE.

Is that a Pokemon?

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:41 am

^ I haven't the faintest idea. Most of Gomer's last few emails have been patched together with stuff I stole from the brilliant Insult Massbait thread.

Larry wrote:

it,shall not be well with you,for all your fucking lies ,and your dirty ways ,idiot ,hakuna,before you and your decendants soon,asshole..............

Mr Gomer wrote:

Subject: HOMOSEXUAL LIKE U

GOD PUNISH UR PAPA AND MAMA WEN WAST TYM TAKE BORN GOAT LIKE U. GO N TAKE UP JOB AT OTUTU NZU SO U CAN GET ENOUGH TO EAT. KO NI DA FUN, KO DE NI YE LAYE. IWO OMO IRAN KIRAN. OLOFO OMO IYA WERE. OTO GBAWAKWA NNEGI...LELE MUGU ..OZOKWA, ASIM OTO SUPUKWA NNEGI..IDIOT!

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