The Safari Continues...

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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:18 pm

Do I get a safari hat for this? How far is it from Cotonou to Lagos, then back to Cotonou? Around 500km?

For those of you just tuning in, I got a lad to go on safari while the Eater was down.

I wondered where my buddy @ja was since I didn't hear from him for a couple of days. He was travelling back to Cotonou.

Quote:

ATTN. PAVL EN1S BVRNS,

I AM NOT HAPPY WITH AS WE ARRANGE I TRAVEL DOWN TO NIGERIA AND WAITED AT THE AIRPORT BUT YOU WERE NOT THEIR. I WENT TO THE ARRIVAL HALL AND CHECKED YOUR NAME AND FIND OUT THAT YOUR NAME WAS NOT THEIR.

NOW BEFORE THE FUND COULD BE RELEASE TO YOU YOU WILL MUST PAY FOR 0.1% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT WHICH IS $7,500 .AS SOON AS YOU PAY THIS MONEY YOUR FUND WILL IMMEDIATELY RELEASE TO YOU.

ACCEPT OUR WARMFUL CONGRATULATION.

So I slapped him:

Quote:

Mr Ch1ne, the agreement was that I would pay you when I met you in Lagos. I didn't fly all the fucking way down here for nothing. I also want you to send me a picture of yourself because it's obvious to me that this place is full of crooks. I want to verify that the person I'm dealing with is indeed you.

Now, if it's the case that I flew all the way down here to waste my time, then I'm gonna fly my ass back to Canada and pay back the loan I took out.

Are we going to do business, or what?

Let's see if I can get him to travel again Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:33 pm

Well done Bungo... beers!

This is a very useful tool for gauging how far a mugu will have to travel on safari.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=4

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 593

Quote:

0.1% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT WHICH IS $7,500

So does that mean you only have to pay $7.5 ?

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:10 pm

Do you have any other proof he actually went to the airport? Lads are prone to being a lot lazier than they say they are - I get the feeling he'd be more pissed off if he'd made that trip for nothing.

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:10 pm

Well, he originally wanted me to come to Cotonou, but I told him I was having a problem getting a flight there, and asked if he could meet me in Lagos to which he agreed. I told him I was bringing $30,000 and 4 Rolex watches.

I did some IP checking and although I can't seem to track the source, the routing changed when he emailed me from Lagos.

Here's his last email:

Quote:

WE ARE READY TO TRANSFER YOUR FUND TO YOU WHEN YOU MEET UP OUR OBLIGATION.

One stinkin' line! I again threatened to fly back to Toronto. I'll see if he bites.

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:21 pm

Damn, no safari hat. A round trip between Cotonou and Lagos is 133.6 miles. The Safari hat rules dictate >200 miles and 1 border crossing. If I can get him moving again, that might help.

Perhaps I'll bait him under a different name Twisted Evil

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

A border crossing always counts as a safari. Wear your helmet with pride. Wink

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:40 pm

Bungo Pony wrote:

The Safari hat rules dictate >200 miles and 1 border crossing.

Nope, it is 200 miles OR 1 border crossing. Laughing

Border crossings are a pain in the arse for these guys.

Well done! Wear that new hat with pride!

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:12 am

Awesome work Bungo!

Grab your helmet before the lions get it! Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:24 am

Quote:

From Lome to Lagos we per for bus (17,000 cfa) local money , iwill cross 3 boraders i have to stamp my passport 4x Togo out,Benin Rep in and out, Nigeria in all cost me money

The above gives an idea as to why the laddies love borders crossings so much.
Even what might look like a relatively short safari on the map can be hellish on the ground..... Twisted Evil

This short safari was only 120 miles from Lome to Lagos, but including the return journey, that means 6 border crossings and 8 passport stamps.

Plus the expense of a couple of nights accomodation enroute, 34,000 cfa bus fares and the inconvieniece of travelling for hours on end in an overcrowded, sweaty death trap of a bus, on roads that are no better than muddy ditches...

As an added bonus, making friends with the nice, helpful and friendly border guards...!!

So, you see, any safari is a laddie nightmare.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:35 am

^^^ not to mention the mandatory "processing fee" the border guards will demand. I've read that it can take sometimes hours for them to process people crossing some of the border, just because, well, they can.