Ismila in Denial

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Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:50 pm

Ismila Musa. One of my favorite lads. Persistent and thick as a post. Thick as molasses in January. Thicker than the thickest thick thickie-thing that was ever thickened.

He made a classic mistake right off the bat. He replied when I emailed him this.

Quote:

What do I need to do next?

Trina

Ismila leaps right on that, and sends me this lovely �form�. Ticked off that this lad can�t even be arsed to come up with a proper form to send as an attachment, I attack him where he is most vulnerable. The tortured writing skills.

Quote:

Dear Perkins,

Thanks for your response,the first thing in this transaction is honesty on your part not to betray me when eventually this fund hits into your bank account.
There will be some little expenses involved but i don't think this will stop the transaction,for we will both solve it jointly when the need arises.

Take record of any expenses from your side even telephone calls bill,for this is the first thing to deduct before the proper sharing and investment as planned incha Allah.

Below is the Application letter fill and contact the minstry and get back to me;

This is the ministry e-mail. ( [email protected] )
Dear Mr Ouegraogo Jean.
My name is ............................. ,i hereby humbly apply for the reallocatioon of my balance with your Ministry amounting to $25Million .I am very sorry for my late writing as this is due to various project with some other Ministries accross the globe.
I Shall tender my utmost cooperation in this regards for any document or legal bindings to facilitate and actualise my request from the ministry.
It shall pleases me if you can refer to the ministry's project and contract allocation file Number 178MFS58A/AD021.This is my reference file number withg your ministry and i shall be glad if the remaining balance of my payment can be made within a short period of time.
Thank you for your cooperation .
Mr......................................
File n�178MFS58A/AD021

I take exception to the less than stellar composition.

Quote:

My first name is Trina. Please call me that. Not Perkins. It's rude to
call someone by just their last name here.

Er, you really don't expect me to send that to the bank like that, do
you? It has a tremendous number of typos/misspellings in it, and it is
formatted very poorly. Do you have another, neater copy you can send?

Trina

He assures me it�s fine, in equally tortured grammar.

Quote:

Dear Trina,

Thanks for your mail,please concerns this transaction,you just follow my instruction for us not run into failure on the process.The letter i said you should sent to the ministry is for them to acknowledge us as the contractor in concern to this file case and subsequent procession to approve and transafer this fund to your bank account,so,just send it to tem like that ,fill gap and that immediately for us to proceed ahead.

Waiting to hear as you do that.

MR. MUSA.

I say exactly what I�m thinking.

Quote:

Okay, fine. If you don't mind looking ignorant.

Trina

But I wait a couple of days and disavow any involvement with the crap form when I forward it to the bank.

Quote:

Ismila Musa wrote this extremely poorly typed application. I am just
sending it along as instructed, uncorrected. If you can't make heads
or tails of it, it's his fault.

Trina

Dear Mr Ouegraogo Jean.

My name is Trina Perkins. ,i hereby humbly apply for the reallocatioon
of my balance with your Ministry amounting to $25Million .I am very
sorry for my late writing as this is due to various project with some
other Ministries accross the globe.

I Shall tender my utmost cooperation in this regards for any document
or legal bindings to facilitate and actualise my request from the
ministry.

It shall pleases me if you can refer to the ministry's project and
contract allocation file Number 178MFS58A/AD021.This is my reference
file number withg your ministry and i shall be glad if the remaining
balance of my payment can be made within a short period of time.

Thank you for your cooperation .

Ms. Trina Perkins

File n�178MFS58A/AD021

It�s the beginning of forms madness. The bank, and Oogawoogabooga-booga-dooga-Jean (Which is how I have to think of this person mentally, because I have no hope of remembering the incredibly long �real� name they�re using. I�m sure it�s a lovely name, but I can�t pronounce it, and I�m afraid I don�t know anyone in real life with that name. Couldn�t they have stuck with something simpler? What�s wrong with a nice Bob? Or Smith?) waste no time sending me more forms and a request for money.

Quote:

Attention Ms.Trina Perkins,

Subsequence to your application letter to this ministry,we on this day, 7th of june,2005,forward our official text of application to be correctly completed by the applicant and send it back to the ministry with the application and reactivation charges of 2,000euro.(Two thousand euro )to the secretary,

Mr Ouegraogo Jean."WESTERN UNION MONEY
TRANSFER,OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA - FASO.

We hereby attach our official text of application in our bereaux file n�7892.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Mr Ouegraogo Jean.
(FED.MIN.FIN.SUP)

This is the attached official text of Application,so view and get
back to the ministry

The attachment name is the rather unlikely �~$1][1][1][1][1][1][1].F.S_TEXT_OF_APPLICATION7.doc� Now, does that look very banklike and professional to you?

I give them bonus points for colorful design, though.

I then employ one of the tips from EK�s evil-bag-o�-attachment -ricks.

Quote:

My completed application is attached. I don't have Word, so I had to view it in Wordpad and print it out, then scan it back in after filling it out by hand. It sure did mess up your form's looks! Not everyone has Word, you know.

Trina
- Show quoted text -

On 6/7/05, bank of africa <[email protected]> wrote:
> Attention Ms.Trina Perkins,
>
> Subsequence to your application letter to this ministry,we on this day, 7th
> of june,2005,forward our official text of application to be correctly
> completed by the applicant and send it back to the ministry with the
> application and reactivation charges of 2,000euro.(Two thousand euro )to the
> secretary,
>
>
> Mr Ouegraogo Jean."WESTERN UNION MONEY
> TRANSFER,OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA - FASO.
>
> We hereby attach our official text of application in our bereaux file
> n�7892.
>
> Thank you for your co-operation.
>
> Yours faithfully,
> Mr Ouegraogo Jean.
> (FED.MIN.FIN.SUP)
>
> This is the attached official text of Application,so view and get
> back to the ministry
>
>

Attachment: Form.jpg

They gamely try to offer tech advice.

Quote:

ATTN.MS.TRINA PERKINS,
THE MINISTRY COULD NOT VIEW THE ATTACHEMENT AS YOU SAID,YOU ARE REQUIRED TO FILL THE FORM AND SCAN AND ATTACH IT PROPERLY FOR US TO VIEW AND ADMINISTER ON IT.
YOU LOOK FOR PROPER PLACE WITH WORDPAD SO THAT WE COULD GET IT VISIBLILY.THE ONE YOU ATTACHED COULD NOT BE ABLE TO OPEN.
THANKS
MANAGEMENT.

Cute, but no cigar. I whip out another trick, the corrupted jpg. 2800 K of corrupted jpg.

Quote:

I'll try it again a different way, but I still say you people should understand that not everyone has Word, and Wordpad changes the way it looks. It screws up the form something awful. Not that it wasn't already ugly as hell anyway, but that's beside the point.

Trina

Oh, and I insult their graphics designer.

At this point, apparently Ismila starts to go off his rocker. I swear I didn�t start it, but I probably ended it. He�s pretty barking by the time I get done with him.

He sends me a panicky email with the subject �What�shappening?????�

Quote:

Dear Trina,

Good day!,How is everything over there?,i hope all is well.
Concerning the transaction what are we up to?,because,i don't know the position of things recently.
Have the ministry transfered the fund and you decided to shun me?,What's happening?,i want to know the situation of this business and how far you have gone in respect of it.

Thanks
Best regards
Mr.Musa.

This is the start of a pretty good run of raging paranoia. Or over the top acting. Or maybe both.

Now, in the meantime, the bank/ministry/whatever whinges t hat they still can�t open my form.

Quote:

ATTN.MS.TRINA PERKINS,
STILL THE ATTACHEMENT COULD NOT OPEN.YOU LOOK FOR PROPER PLACE WITH WORDPAD SO THAT WE COULD GET IT VISIBLILY.THE ONE YOU ATTACHED COULD NOT BE ABLE TO OPEN.
THANKS
MANAGEMENT

Way to go tech support.

Quote:

Wordpad has nothing to do with it. I'm printing it out of Wordpad, filling it out by hand, then scanning it back in as a jpg. I can open it just fine here on my end. The main problem I have is that it's just an incredibly ugly form. Do you have a bad machine? Or a virus? I hope you don't have a virus. The last thing I want is to catch one from you over this ugly form.

Here, try it as a bmp.That's also a standard windows format. You're not on a Mac, are you? Because Macs are annoying.

Trina

I send him 5125 K of bad jpg. Then let him dangle about two weeks, because I�m at a conference and tired afterward.

It bounces. After a couple of weeks, I poke them again. With the same attachment

Quote:

Hopefully you've cleaned out your inbox by now. Very sloppy, letting it get full.

Trna

I also reply to the �What�s happening?????� email that Ismila sent.

Quote:

What the hell are you talking about? How could the Ministry transfer
it unless you did all that legal stuff you were talking about in your
last email? And I thought you said I would have to travel to
Amsterdam? I said I could do all you asked, and now you come with some
paranoid bull about me getting your money behind your back? What is
WRONG with you?

Trina

I�m beginning to think after this email that either he�s been baited to extreme paranoia by someone else, or he�s got sneaky accomplices whom he really suspects of cutting him out of the deal. Ismila also introduces me to the snazzy new word �retrogressive�. Grant you, I�ve also let him dangle a couple of weeks.

Quote:

Just tell me what and how we are going to see this business to conclusion.

Because this your attitude towards this transaction is retrogressive.

If uo cannot pay the ministry for this fund to be transfered into your account,you better tell me to know what to do in time before it is late to act,because i must have this fund transfered offshore as i have started it.

Thanks and waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards

MR.MUSA.

By the way, just in case anyone thinks I�m making fun of his vocabulary, to his credit, that�s a real word, and he used it in a sentence. Correctly, even. Color me duly impressed.

But� uh� Ismila is really jumping the gun, as the Ministry and he have not mentioned money at all. And for another thing, he and his cronies seem to have the concept of a Ministry and a Bank all mixed up. By the end, I think Ismila has me and several other victims mixed up.

Quote:

What are you talking about? The Ministry hasn't asked me for any money. What do you mean, pay the Ministry? What about traveling to Amsterdam? You said I was going to have to travel.

Trina

Now, I�m going to confess something. I had Ismila temporarily mixed up with one of my bazillion other lads who had mentioned Amsterdam. I realized it after I made the first mention of Amsterdam, but what the hell? I stubbornly stick to the idea that Ismila mentioned Amsterdam, and don�t acknowledge my mistake for the rest of the bait. No wonder he�s slightly loopy by the end. He replies to me again, hoping to figure out what�s going on.

Quote:

Dear Perkins,

Thanks for your mail,please there is no time i told u to go to the Amsterdam.

All i wanted you to do for me is to help me receive this fund as you acting as a beneficiary to this account,so,i want you to pay the fee the ministry demanded before they could transfer it to your account.

Have you settled with the ministry?.

Best regards
MUSA.

Here�s where I start to get tetchy that Ismila keeps saying it�s a Ministry, and the Bank keeps saying it�s a bank.

Quote:

Why do you keep calling them a Ministry when they say they are a bank? And the bank is not answering its email. My emails to them keep bouncing.

And stop calling me by my last name. That's rude.

Trina.

And why not a slap while I�m at it?

Anyway, Ismila insists the Bank of Africa, which also has �bank� in their name field on their email is not a bank. (Wha?)

Quote:

Dear Perkins

Please we are not dealing with the bank it is ministry that will transfer this fund into your account so, you better send your mail to the mistry with their email address.

Waiting to hear freom you as you pay the fee and let them transfer the fund into your account and inform me immediately for me to come over there for sharing and investmentof my own lot.

Musa.

He�s all up on that fee like white on white rice.

I decide to be all logical and stuff.

Quote:

z>Dear Perkins

>Please we are not dealing with the bank

Then why does the sender's name read "bank"? Are you telling me the ministry doesn't know better than to call itself "bank" in its emails? When they send emails, it says "bank", just like mine say "Trina Perkins".

i>t is ministry that will transfer this fund into your account so, you better send your mail t>o the mistry with their email address.

I'm beginning to think you're a fraud. Especially since your so-called Ministry is asking for money and doesn't seem to know it's not a bank.

>Waiting to hear freom you as you pay the fee and let them transfer the fund into your >account and inform me immediately for me to come over there for sharing and i>nvestmentof my own lot.

>Musa.

I bet you don't have anything to share. I bet your name isn't even Ismila Musa. If it is, let's see some proof. Some photo ID is necessary before I move any further. I'm not paying anything until you prove you are who you say you are.

Show me the proof, I say.

What the heck, I�m in a weird mood, this hasn�t been all that interesting, so I decide to call the bank/ministry frauds for good measure.

Quote:

Attn : Trina
Sir,
Your missive was received and you should understand that we had not time to waste since you are not the only beneficiary that we have. All information has been given to you and since you are finding it difficult to send the form, i will advice you to fax it to enable us discharge our duties.
Sir, bear in mind that your account has been programmed on our system waiting for transfer based on the requested information from you. Once again you should facilitate the motive of the transfer whereby return the form with the processing fee as the law demanded.

Thanks for your co-operation,
MFS

Besides, they called me �Sir�. I copy Ismila for full effect.

Quote:

I think you're frauds. Ismila Musa keeps saying you are a Ministry. You keep saying you are the Bank of Africa. I don't believe any of you unless you can show me some photo ID and prove you are who you say you are.

>On 6/27/05, bank of africa <[email protected]> wrote:
>Attn : Trina
>Sir,

I'm not a sir.

>Your missive was received and you should understand that we had not time to >waste since you are not the only beneficiary that we have.

Evidently it wasn't understood, or you would clean out your inbox.

>All information has been given to you and since you are finding it difficult >to send the form, i will advice you to fax it to enable us discharge our duties.

I don't have a fax machine.

>Sir, bear in mind that your account has been programmed on our system >waiting for transfer based on the requested information from you.

If it's been "programmed" then you should at least know I'm not a "sir". And if you have it all programmed, why would you need the form in the first place? You indicated you needed the form before you could transfer, so why do you need the form if it's all programmed in?

>Once again you should facilitate the motive of the transfer whereby return the >form with the processing fee as the law demanded.

>Thanks for your co-operation,
>MFS

I think you're all liars. Prove it or get lost.
--

Trina Perkins

Fee? What fee? Let�s ignore your fee for right now.

The bank also seems not to understand the concept of being female. That, or they think I�ve garnered a knighthood.

Quote:

ATTN:
SIR TRINA PERKINS,

FROM THE MANAGEMENT OF MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND COMMERCE BURKINA FASO.
WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL DATED 27TH JUNE 2005 AND WISHES TO INFORM YOU THAT AFTER OUR BOARD MEETING THE MANAGEMENT OF THIS MINISTRY QUERRIED THE SECRETRY FOR MAKING SUCH A TYPOGRAPHIC MISTAKE WHICH CAN HAMPER THE SMOOTH OPERATION OF THIS MINISTRY.
WE THE MANAGEMENT OF THIS MINISTRY RENDERS OUR SINCERE APOLOGY TO YOU PROMISING THAT SUCH MISTAKE WILL NOT OCCURE AGAIN AS WE HAVE CALLED THE SECRETRY TO ORDER. BANK OF AFRICA IS A BANKER TO THE MINISTRY AND WE ALWAYS HAVE CORRESPONDENCE WITH THE BANK.
DO ACCEPT OUR SINCERE APOLOGY AND PROCEED WITH THE PAYMENT OF OUR PROCESSING FEE AND SUBMISSION OF THE APPLICATION AS THE MINISTRY HAVE ASSURED YOU OF TRANSPARENCY IN HER OPERATIONS.
THANKS,
MANAGEMENT.

Ministries got management? And the Ministry/Bank now seems to have turned into a ship at sea, or something because they�re suddenly referring to the Ministry as female. These boys are certainly gemder-confused.

I decide to be a bit more transparent, too.

Quote:

You're transparent, all right. You're a bunch of transparent fakes.

AND I AM NOT A FUCKING SIR!

Go jump off a cliff. Fraud.

Trina

Ismila has a bad case of denial.

Quote:

Dear Trina,
How are you today? I am very suprised to see what you wrote in your mail to me and i wonder why you asked such a question but after going through your mail again i understood your point.However,i will advice you to channel this question to the ministry why you saw bank of africa in the mail they sent to you as my duty is to guide you perfectly.
I am doing a genuine deal with you which i believe will yield a positive result at the end if we do not misunderstand ourselves.To put you more clear as you said it is a fraud,i want to assure you that the deal is 100% genuine so attached is my staff identity card and i will like to see yours so that i too can believe that i am working with the right person.
Extend my greetings to your family.
waiting to hear from you as soon as you ask the ministry about the BOA in the mail they sent to you.
Yours sincerely,
musa.

He does see my point, though. How kind of him. Now, if only he would impale himself on it like a good lad. Ismila�s crap ID below. It was sent in a Word document.To give you the full effect of the hilarity that ensued after I opened it, I did a screencap that shows how it looked when I clicked on it. The �Show all Characters� feature was on, you see.

I only regret that I can�t share the fact that you could click on his �information� and see the text box obviously added in Word.

I tell him how bad it is, but provide no details.

Quote:

That is the most incredibly bad fake ID I've ever seen in all my life.

You may fuck off and die, now. You're obviously a fake. And a really bad one, at that.

I've also taken the liberty of telling the bank/Ministry to fuck off. YOu two can fuck off together.

Trina

He tries playing the �I�m more mature/older/experienced than you� card. And ridiculously clings to the argument that that ID was issued to him by the Ministry. Yeah. And monkeys might fly outta my butt�

Quote:

Dear friend,
How are you and your family,i hope all is fine.I have seen your mail and was suprised at your gesture.However,i came to you with a real deal and not fraud as you said because i am too old to do what you think.
So if you are not ready,you please forget it as i will not force you to do what you do not want to do but i want you to know that this business is real and not a fraud as you think.one thing you have to know is that if the ministry makes a mistake you are to call them to order and as for the id card,it is my staff identity card and it is officially issued to me by the ministry.
i will be waiting to know your final plans.
Extend my regards to your family.
Musa.

I choose to insult the face off of him. I�m doing him a favor, really, with a face like that�

Quote:

>Dear friend,
>How are you and your family,i hope all is fine.I have seen your mail and was suprised at >your gesture.However,i came to you with a real deal and not fraud as you said because i >am too old to do what you think.

Evidently you're not old enough to make a convincing ID, because that thing wouldn't fool a half-blind, brain-damaged monkey. You insult my intelligence by sending me that trash.

>So if you are not ready,you please forget it as i will not force you to do what you do not >want to do but i want you to know that this business is real

Hah! Real as a talking, three-headed monkey.

>and not a fraud as you think.one thing you have to know is that if the ministry makes a >mistake you are to call them to order

You and the "ministry" both are frauds. Bad ones.

>and as for the id card,it is my staff identity card and it is officially issued to me by the >ministry.

Like hell it is. A three-year-old with a pack of crayons and some construction paper could do better.
>i will be waiting to know your final plans.
>Extend my regards to your family.
>Musa.

Monkey Island fans may notice that I had just played the games recently when I did this bait.

Ismila must have taken a knock on the head and developed amnesia, because he goes, to steal his word, all retrogressive on his scripted replies, and resends me this on July 2.

Quote:

Dear Trina,

Good day!,How is everything over there?,i hope all is well.
Concerning the transaction what are we up to?,because,i don't know the position of things recently.
Have the ministry transfered the fund and you decided to shun me?,What's happening?,i want to know the situation of this business and how far you have gone in respect of it.

Thanks
Best regards
Mr.Musa.

I figure this is my last chance to get my jabs in, so I go for broke.

Quote:

> Dear Trina,

>Good day!,How is everything over there?,i hope all is well.
>Concerning the transaction what are we up to?,

We are up to telling you and your fucking fake ministry to take a damned hike, because you're frauds. Did you not get the memo?

>because,i don't know the position of things recently.

My position is bending over so you and your little fake friends can kiss my arse.

>Have the ministry transfered the fund and you decided to shun me?,

Look, brain surgeon. There are no funds. You are a fake. You are a crook. You are a thief. Plain enough for you?

>What's happening?,i want to know the situation of this business and how far you >have gone in respect of it.

>Thanks
>Best regards
>Mr.Musa.

The situation is you can shove off, you dirty, rotten thief. You're scum.

Trina Perkins

Man, he must like it, because he keeps crawling back for more, he and the Ministry-bank.

What makes this even funnier is his subject of �NO NEED MAKING ENQUIRIES SINCE YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.�

Ismila, your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes�

Quote:

Dear Trina,
I have seen your mail and there is no point for you trying to know about what you have no belief in.I have told you all you need to know and believe about this deal but you don't seem to understand me instead you call me names. Well my dear, your withdrawal will not make me to stop pursuing this deal the only thing i have achieved so far is making ammends where neccessary to make sure that i finished the deal favourably.

Since you are no longer interested, i advice you to stop bothering yourself as i assure you that i will smile at the end of the deal.

So have a nice day.

My regards to your family,
Musa.

Again, I figure this is my last shot, so I make it a good one.

Quote:

>Dear Trina,
>I have seen your mail and there is no point for you trying to know about what you >have no belief in.

STOP EMAILING ME YOU FUCKING FRAUDULENT FUCKER! Your're all talk, and no proof, so obviously, you are a fraud. And a bad, desperate one, at that, or you would quit emailing me.

>I have told you all you need to know and believe about this deal but you don't seem >to understand me instead you call me names.

How hard is this to understand? I know you're a scammer. It's not that hard to see. You're a bad one. A very bad one. I hope you do this as a hobby only, because you can't be making any money at it. You are a shit for brains scammer. Is that clear enough for you? I'm not "calling you names", I'm just telling it like it is. You're a fruad. It isn't calling you names when it's the truth. I'm calling you what you are.

>Well my dear, your withdrawal will not make me to stop pursuing this deal the >only thing i have achieved so far is making ammends where neccessary to make >sure that i finished the deal favourably.

And I'm going to make sure no one I know falls for your crap story, too. I'm putting a warning in the electronic newsletter I help produce, even, so no one falls for you.

>Since you are no longer interested, i advice you to stop bothering yourself as i >assure you that i will smile at the end of the deal.

Why are you going to be smiling? One of your fellow idiots in the web cafe who churns out these stories agreed to let you suck his cock if he sucks yours? Shove off.

>So have a nice day.

>My regards to your family,
>Musa.

Screw you. Burn in Hell like you deserve.
--

Trina Perkins

I enjoy pretending my characters are going to warn other sizeable groups. I like to think that�s a lovely parting shot, that there are going to be fewer victims for these guys.

The bank is still trying, too. Well, sort of. They�re not trying very hard. Or very well.

Quote:

ATTN:
SIR TRINA PERKINS,

FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND COMMERCE BURKINA FASO.
WE WISH TO NOTIFY YOU THAT THE MINISTRY IS STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO FILL THE APPLICATION SENT TO YOU BY THIS MINISTRY AS IT IS THE PROPERTY OF THE MINISTRY AND YOU OBLIGTION TO FILL AND SEND BACK TO THE MINISTRY.
WE ARE THEREFORE WAITING FOR YOUR COMPLIANCE.
MANAGEMENT.

Sigh. The customer service sucks here.

Quote:

First of all, I'm not a damned "Sir", I'm a madam.

Second, I know you guys are scammers. Bad ones. You can't even decide if you're a bank or a ministry.

Fuck OFF!

Okay, I take back what I said about the customer service. The Ministry offers me an �Official Massage�! Woo! Can I get a facial, too?

Subject: OFFICIAL MASSAGE FROM THE MINISTRY.

Quote:

ATTEN
MADAM TRINA PERKINS ,
ONBEHALF OF THIS MINISTRY I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MAIL TO US WAS WELL RECECIVED AND THE CONTAINS THEIRIN WAS NOT NOT WELL UNDERSTOOD BY THIS MINISTRY WHICH YOU CALLED US SCANMERS WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR YOUR RESPOND AS REGARDS TO YOUR DEMAND THIS MINISTRY WORKS IN CONJUETION WITH THE BANK OF AFRICA HERE IN BURKINA FASO YOUR SHOULD BE AWARE OF THAT.PLEASE GET INTOUCH WITH US AND FOR US TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
THANKS,
MANGEMENT.

Darned �scanmers�. They�re twice as bad as �scammers�, I tell you.

Quote:

>ATTEN
>MADAM TRINA PERKINS ,
>ONBEHALF OF THIS MINISTRY I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT >YOUR MAIL TO US WAS WELL RECECIVED AND THE CONTAINS >THEIRIN WAS NOT NOT WELL UNDERSTOOD BY THIS MINISTRY >WHICH YOU CALLED US SCANMERS

Scammers, nitwit. At least learn how to spell it if you're going to attempt to be one.

>

>WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR YOUR RESPOND AS REGARDS TO YOUR >DEMAND THIS MINISTRY WORKS IN CONJUETION WITH THE BANK OF >AFRICA HERE IN BURKINA FASO YOUR SHOULD BE AWARE OF >THAT.PLEASE GET INTOUCH WITH US AND FOR US TO KNOW WHAT >YOU WANT.
>THANKS,
>MANGEMENT.

1. Learn to fucking spell. Your spelling is atrocious. Did your worthless mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

2. You are not a ministry, you are not a bank. You are some scummy, mangy, poor little bastard probably sitting in a web cafe churning out this crap to people the world over in an attempt to make a buck. You're a fake. A bad one.

3. What part of "Fuck off and don't' email me again" are you having a problem understanding? Do you need a brain damaged monkey to explain the big words to you, or is a five-year-old available?

--

Trina Perkins

Oddly, this is not the last I hear from Ismila.

Subject: I WILL SEND IT IN THE MORNING.

Quote:

Dear brother,

Things are working accordingly now. i was about going out when your mail came.
However, since you have sent the informations to me, go ahead and send it now to the ministry and i will send my own tomorrow morning.Just tell the ministry that the balance will come tomorrow morning.

Musa.

Sigh. Why must he constantly make me want to kill him?

Quote:

Okay, you are obviously the most incredibly stupid, brain-damanged monkey fart of a scammer ever to walk the face of the earth. Shall I count the ways?
>On 8/8/05, ismila musa <[email protected]> wrote:
>Dear brother,

I'm not your fucking brother, thank goodness. I'm a woman, and you are a stupid, lowlife, little boy who couldn't scam his way out of a paper bag, because he's addled his brains by drinking too much goat sperm.

>Things are working accordingly now. i was about going out when your mail came.

You've got your fucking victims mixed up, bozo. I discovered you were a scammer weeks ago, dickhead.

>However, since you have sent the informations

You suck at English. Better than sucking at goat dicks, though, which seems to be your other hobby.

>to me, go ahead and send it now to the ministry and i will send my own tomorrow >morning.Just tell the ministry that the balance will come tomorrow morning.

>Musa.

Learn to use the fucking computer, or you're going to starve before you manage to scam so much as a baby out of its candy.

You're pathetic, you asswipe.

Trina

But wait! There�s still more!

Subject: have the money been transfered.

Quote:

Dear brother,

ASSALAMO ALAIKUM.

How is business and life,i have been expecting to hear from you but noon,please i need information so that i will know the progress.have the money been transfered.

Thanks,

MUSA.

Okay, the stupid is becoming physically painful by now.

Quote:

Wow. You really are full of shit and don't know when to quit, do you?

STUPID SCAMMER! How do you ever expect to scam anyone when you're too stupid to even send email properly?

Your "business" must be really down the toilet, because you don't have two brain cells to rub together.

Can there be, yet, still more? Why, yes, there can! Ron Popeil is no match for Ismila Musa when it comes to giving you more than you expect.

Subject: how much can you raise

Quote:

Dear Brother,
since we have been trying to solve this little problem that is too smaill compair to the huge fund we are trying to get,i will want to see if i can sale my landed proparty so that i can raise some money but still,that will not be ok,now how much can you raise.I mean how much you can afford so that bitween now till monday i will be through with the agent and collect the little port of land that is now on sale.

Regard,
Musa.

Gee, he just isn�t getting it.

Quote:

>Dear Brother,

Not your brother, fuckwad.

>since we have been trying to solve this little problem that is too smaill compair to the >huge fund we are trying to get,i will want to see if i can sale my landed proparty

You probably don't own any "proparty" . Try selling your nasty, skanky ass on the street. I bet someone will pay all of a quarter for you to suck their balls and cock.

>so that i can raise some money but still,that will not be ok,now how much can you >raise.I mean how much you can afford so that bitween now till monday i will be through >with the agent and collect the little port of land that is now on sale.

>Regard,
>Musa.

You must be the most incredibly pathetic scammer in history. Really.

--
Trina Perkins

Hey, I ended on a positive note.

Denial sets in again for Ismila. Or he�s been reading too much �How To Win Friends And Influence People�. Or perhaps he�s been taking hypnotism by email courses. Whatever. He tries to convince me my brain has stopped working.

Quote:

Dear Trina ,

What will happen now is that you will give me time to raise the fee and i will pay it to the ministry on your name.

i want to sale my landed proparty since i have no option to raise money.Immediately that is done,i will tell you beacuse the payment will be made on your name.

Now what you will done is to forward the application they send to you and tell then that you will pay the fee next week so that by then,i will get the fee immediately i finish with the agent for the disposal of my landed proparty.In addition,have you send send your ID or your international passport to the ministry?If not,forward it same time along with the application form while i will be arranging for the total fee possible next week.
Regard,
Musa.

You know, I think it�s cruel to give him false hope, so I�m not terribly receptive to this suggestion that I�m an idiot who would honestly fall for this crap.

Quote:

>Dear Trina ,

>What will happen now is that you will give me time to raise the fee and i will pay it >to the ministry on your name.

Like fuck you will. You're a scammer. You're a fake. Your "ministry" is fake. You're all fucking 419 scammers.

>i want to sale my landed proparty since i have no option to raise money.

Damned right you don't. You probably live in a fucking cardboard box and suck cocks for quarters.

>Immediately that is done,i will tell you beacuse the payment will be made on your >name.

>Now what you will done is to forward the application they send to you and tell then >that you will pay the fee next week so that by then,i will get the fee immediately i >finish with the agent for the disposal of my landed proparty.In addition,have >you send send your ID or your international passport to the ministry?

No. And I'm not going to. Fuck OFF, SCAMMING THIEVING LYING FILTH! Are you some kind of brain damaged faggot whose brain has been eaten up by all the diseases you've caught, letting men stick their cocks up your arse? What part of "you're a fucking liar and cheat" am I not making clear?

>If not,forward it same time along with the application form while i will be >arranging for the total fee possible next week.
>Regard,
>Musa.

You are so full of shit, I bet you stink ten miles upwind.
--
Trina Perkins

Surely this will sink in, right? Nope. Be-weave it or not, people, he still thinks he can get money out of me.

[quote]

Subject: Waiting to know how you have gone with the ministry.

Quote:

Dear Trina Perkins ,

Thanks for your mail,which bank are you talking about?,we are dealing with the Ministry of finance and supply. So, you should first understand the transaction.
You should pursue this transaction with them and make sure that they at once approve and transfer the fund into your account.

What's the position you are now with the ministry,please you have to try your best and pay the fee so to move this transaction forward.

Waiting to know how you have gone with the ministry.

Best regards
Mr.Musa.

Woooooo... you will buy my horrendously executed cock and bull story� woooo *finger waggle*

No, still not working.

Quote:

> Dear Trina Perkins ,

>Thanks for your mail,which bank are you talking about?,we are dealing with the >Ministry of finance and supply. So, you should first understand the transaction.

You should understand that I know you are a fucking thief. Go away. You and your fake Ministry. Are you a mouth breather or something? Do you have even one fucking, gasping brain cell in that incredibly thick skull of yours? Pretending I did not catch you in your lies will not make me forget that you are a filthy, scummy, homosexual 419 scammer.

>You should pursue this transaction with them and make sure that they at once ?approve and transfer the fund into your account.

There is NO TRANSACTION. THERE IS NO TRANSFER. You are a disgusting little rat who is probably sitting in an internet cafe, most likely somewhere deep in the armpit or crotch of Africa, attempting to scam me.

>What's the position you are now with the ministry,please you have to try your best >and pay the fee so to move this transaction forward.

I AM NOT PAYING ANY FUCKING FEES!

>Waiting to know how you have gone with the ministry.
>
>Best regards
>Mr.Musa.

You honestly are the most pathetic excuse for a human being I have ever encountered. Did your whore of a mother drop you on your head a great deal when you were a child? Or use you as a basketball?

--
Trina Perkins

That�s right. I�m so sick of this guy being a lunkhead, that I go for the jugular. I play the �Yo Mama� card.

Oh dear. He�s begging, now.

Subject: PLEASE I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THIS TRANSACTION FINANCIALLY.

Quote:

Dear Trina Perkins ,

I am happy to hear from you again, however we still have balance of 1000euros to pay to the ministry for them to finalise our application and as it is now,i am pleading with you to see if you can send them the money from your side so that we can round off this transaction without wasting much time.

Remember that this is a transaction both of us are going to benefit from i have paid 1000euros already so please help me out so that the payment i have ealier made will not be in vain as it is not refundable.

I will be very glad to hear from you soonest so that i will know the next thing to do.And please do let me know whether you have heard anything from the minstry.

Salam,
Musa.

This guy�s chewing on peyote. Or drinking antifreeze. Something. Surely.

Quote:

>Dear Trina Perkins ,

>I am happy to hear from you again, however we still have balance of 1000euros to >pay to the ministry

No WE don't. WE don't have a balance of anything, because I am not falling for your scam. YOU however, apparently still have a mental imbalance. Seriously, do you drink gasoline, take drugs or something? Or are you just naturally this stupid? Do you pay a monkey to do your typing for you?

>for them to finalise our application and as it is now,i am pleading with you to see if >you can send them the money from your side so that we can round off this >transaction without wasting much time.

Look, shit for brains, there is no transaction. I am not sending any money. You're a fuck-faced scammer. Why don't you go back to sucking goat cocks? I bet you make more money at that than you do scamming. Because you are worse than a tiny little boy with no experience at it. I've seen two year olds who had more experience at putting one over on someone than you. Hell, I've seen rocks smarter than you.

>Remember that this is a transaction both of us are going to benefit from

No we aren't. Liar, liar, pants on fire. There is no transaction, and if I paid, only one of us would benefit. You. Because you're a fake and a thief.

>i have paid 1000euros

No you didn't. Because there are no fees and there is no transaction. Aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning for lying so much?

>already so please help me out so that the payment i have ealier made will not be in >vain as it is not refundable.

Like hell. You didn't make any payment.

>I will be very glad to hear from you soonest so that i will know the next thing to do.

I think the next thing you should do is stick a cherry bomb up your arse, let it go off, then do the world a favor by sticking your finger in a light socket.

>And please do let me know whether you have heard anything from the minstry.

No, because they actually UNDERSTOOD when I told them I knew they were scammers. Get them to explain it to you. In tiny words.

>Salam,
>Musa.

Screw you, scammer,
Trina

I�m wondering if he followed my advice, because as of October 4, I hadn�t heard anything further. Five months it took for this guy to get that he wasn�t making any money off of me. If, indeed, he did understand.

I�m not terribly sure. I half expect to hear from him any day.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 18 Sep 2005 Posts: 14

Wow that's a massive post. I'm getting the impression from reading it though, that he possibly wasn't even reading your e-mails and just staying totally on script. I mean, I can't see any way anyone could possibly think you were falling for that scam after half those e-mails of flaming abuse you sent.

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 4:13 am

Excellent work as usual mrsbean! Wow, that was one, um, exceptionally thick-skinned and thick-headed lad. Nice barrage of insults, that had to feel good!