George W. Bush Wins the Dutch Lottery

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Well, still no bite for my Jewish widow, but I've been informed that our dear President is the recipient of a multi-million dollar Dutch lottery.

First for the mugu-related B.S.

Quote:

FROM:THE DIRECTOR
EUROPEAN PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
REF:EL3/9318/04
BATCH:8/163/EL.
Attn:Dear Sir/Madam

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the
Lottery Winners International programs held on the
20/04/2005. Your e-mail address attached to ticket
number :EL-23133 with serial number: EL-123542,batch
number: EL-35,lottery ref number: EL-9318 and drew
lucky numbers 7-1-8-36-4-22 which consequently won in
the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for
a lump sum pay out of US$1,500,000.00 (One Million,
Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars)

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that
you keep your winning information confidential until
your claims has been processed and your money Remitted
to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid
double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program
by some participants. All participants were selected
through a computer ballot system drawn from over
40,000 company and 20,000,000 individual email
addresses and names from all over the world.
This promotional program takes place every year. This
lottery was promoted and sponsored by a group of
successful electronic dealers.we hope with part of
your winning,you will take part in our next year US$20
million international lottery. To file for your claim,
please contact our paying officer.

Mr Terry Edward (Lottery Director)
Netherlands Lottery Company
107 Vanderloop
1902AB ,Amsterdam,
The Netherlands
TEL:+-31-617786389
FAX:+-31-847518429
Email: [email protected]

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than
18th of AUGUST,2005.After this date all unclaimed
funds will be included in the next stake.
Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications
please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in
all
correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do
inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more from
our
members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional
program.
Note:
Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically
disqualified.
yours Sincerely,

Mrs.Queensley Rhoda,
For Management

Let's see what George is doing on a fine Sunday like this:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Edwards:

My assistant, Mr. Cheney, has just informed me that I've won a Dutch lottery. You have no idea what good news this is. I've been very short of funds lately, what with my wife Laura spending all my hard-earned money on shoes and my twin slut daughters partying every weekend.

I'm very grateful that you've spelled out the amount, because unfortunately I only have a sixth grade education, and I'm sure you know what a horror the American public school system is. For extra secrecy, I'm sending this to you through a deceased friend's email account. He can be trusted not to spill the news, as he's currently taking a cement bath in the Hudson River, otherwise we'd have all sorts of people trying to double claim the money.

Oh, before I forget: my batch number is xxxxx and my reference number is xxxxx.

Calvary blessings, my mundane friend:
George W. Bush

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Hmm, it would seem that Mr. Bush has received a prompt, if terribly scripted reply.

Quote:

Dear Winner,
We wish to congratulate you and formally inform you that you have won
the sum
of $1,500,000.00 (One Million,Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) in the
last email-
lottery draw, organized by ADS LOTTERY. We have confirmed the above
winning.
You should note that your email address in addition to millions of
company and
individual email were extracted with a software and the addresses were
scrutinized with a ballot system and after the processes,30 email
addresses
were selected and they were shared into 3 categories respectively and
which
you are a winner in the 1st category of $1.5m.The said sum is now
deposited in
our suspense account in your favour waiting for the immediate
remittance into
your nominated bank account. Be informed that your winning prize has a
hardcover insurance policy that makes it impossible to make any
deduction of
any kind, until the sum is finally credited into your designated
account.
This firm on behalf of ADS LOTTERY Promotion will issue an Irrevocable
Guarantee of Payment Bond (IGPB) in your favour, thereby securing the
above
prize money.A copy of the IGPB will be forwarded to our paying bank for
immediate action.
However, our client (ADS LOTTERY PROMOTION) has been notified of this
development and the status of your claim.Following the above, you are
expected
to fill the attached form and return back to this office along with a
copy of
your identity like driver's license via email attachment or by fax for
vetting
process which is a standard practise just to ensure that we are dealing
with
the right individual.
This process is vital and urgent following the instruction from our
clients
that all prize money should be claimed on or before 15th OF August,
2005,
Once again accept our congratulations and we look forward to hearing
from you
soon.
Regards,

Mr Paul Zimmerman
TEL; 00 31-617 786 389
FAX: 00 31 205 248 664

Now that's funny, I seem to remember the deadline was August 18. Let's see if George W. can tweak the lad a bit on that.

And a poor pity our dear Commander-in-Chief can't open a simple email attachment. (Yes, I'm a registered Republican, but sometimes the man is just an idiot).

Quote:

Dear Mr. Zimmerman,

I thought I was dealing with somebody named Terry Edwards. Who are you exactly, and why isn't Mr. Edwards emailing me?

Now I'm not good with dates, and my dear secretary Mr. Rumsfeld is always having to remind me that June comes before July, but as I recall the deadline for this lottery thing is August 18. Why are you telling me now that it's August 15? I don't like to be rushed, sir.

I'm sure you have a good explanation for that, as well as why I can't seem to open this email attachment you sent. My program keeps telling me it's infected with the WIN_32 virus. Either you sent me a form or you sent a virus.

Please get back to me,
George W.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Can it be that we have a mugu more dense than George W. Bush himself?

Here's the proof:

Quote:

Good day Winner,
You are expected to print out the attached form, fill it and return back to
this office along with a copy of your identity like driver's license via email
attachment or by fax for vetting process which is a standard practise just to
ensure that we are dealing with the right individual.
This process is vital and urgent following the instruction from our clients
that all prize money should be claimed on or before 17th OF August, 2005,
Once again accept our congratulations and we look forward to hearing from you
soon.
Regards,

Mr.Terry Edward
TEL; 00 31-617 786 389
FAX: 00 31 205 248 664

Time for George W. to lay down the Texas smack.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Edward:

It's nice to know I'm finally dealing with you again, but it's just like I told that other guy: I can't fill out your form unless I can OPEN it, and I can't open it if my security guy Mr. Ridge is telling me the file is reading the WIN_32 virus. Once you fix this problem to Tom's satisfaction, we can proceed.

Again, I'd like to know why your office keeps changing the deadline. First it was August 18, then it was August 15 and now it's August 17. Here in the States we usually give people 180 days to claim lottery winnings. Maybe they do it different in the Netherlands, but I'm sure they're not supposed to be changing the dates all the time.

Fix the Internet bug thingy, get the date straight--cause right now I can't even remember my wife Laura's birthday--and I'll send you whatever you like.

Cthulhu blesses you, child
George W.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Not having heard from Mr. Mugu in more than a day, George W. decided to draw him out by sending the following email:

Quote:

Mr. Edwards:

Good news about that little WIN_32 problem. Tom has managed to fix the bug and I was able to get hold of the document. Still, he says you ought to see about things on your end before your computer starts smoking and bursts into flames. That's why I avoid all such things as scanners, fax machines and the like, because if you use them you could end up like me with permanent brain damage; for all scanning, faxing and other needs I always make sure to use Democrats.

I'm sending the requested document along to you now, with a copy of my driver's license.

May Jesus and the Nazgul shine on you, my friend:
George W.

Gosh, too bad they're .dll files.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Our dear, dear mugu somehow managed to get that .dll file open. My goodness. And look at how clearly these instructions are written. Even an idiot like George W. can understand them. </sarcasm>

Quote:

Dear Winner,
We acknowledge the receipt of your documents.
The Accounts department is now processing your account Opening. You are
hereby
required to make an initial deposit based on the type of account you
wish to
hold with the paying bank, the category of account and the initial
deposit
available in the paying bank are stated below:
1. Regular Account, the initial deposit is �1500.00 (One Thousand Five
Hundred
Euros). The Maximum transfer possible within a month is $2,500,000.00
(Two
Million and Five Hundred Thousand USD).
2. Daily Account, the initial deposit is �2,500.00 (Two Thousand Five
Hundred
Euros). The Maximum transfer possible within a month is $3,500,000.00
(Three
Million Five Thousand USD).
3. Premium Account, the initial deposit is �3,500 (Three Thousand Five
Hundred Euros). The transfer possible within a month from this account
is
$5,000,000.00 (Five Million USD).
4. Platinum Account, the initial deposit is �4,500.00 (Four thousand
Five
Hundred Euros), the maximum transfer possible from this account within
a month
is $10,000,000.00 (Ten Million USD) and above.
For your account to be activated immediately, you are required to
transfer the
initial deposit which will be deposited in your account to activate the
account before your claims can be transferred out of the suspense
account into
a normal operative account and you should note that the initial deposit
you
will use in activating your account will be added to your UD$1,500,000
and as such,when you want to close the account after you have received
your
funds in the operative account,you will then be transferring your $1.5m
and
your initial deposit.That is to say,your funds which you will use in
activating the account will not be lost.I hope you understand my
explanations
clearly?
Note that funds lodged in suspense account are NON-DEDUCTIBLE until it
has
been transferred to your operative account. Once your account is opened
you
will have an account number and a pin code which you will use to access
your
account through the paying bank's website for online transfer. Note
that you
do not have much time to get this done.I advise you act fast and get in
touch with the payment center whose details are stated below.

FALCON TRUST FINANCE B V
Address: Wibaustraat 170,1091GH
AMSTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS
Contact Person: Mr.Anthony Rudolf [OR]
Contact person; Mr.Roy Mckane
Tel: +31-610 450 182
Fax; +31-847 139 655
Email:[email protected]

We look forward for your prompt response, should you have any
questions, do
not hesitate to contact us.
Thank you for understanding.
Best Regards.

Mr Terry Edward.

Time to smack the lad upside the head for presuming upon my intelligence.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Edwards:

So sorry about the delay. I was having my colon massaged by two nubile candystripe nurses at Bethesda Naval Hospital. First-rate service, those candystripers.

Of course I don't understand you. You severely overestimate the intelligence of the average American citizen. In order to interpret your instructions, I had to have my assistant Mr. Cheney, whose intellect is about the equivalent of a dysfunctional rhesus monkey, explain them to me.

Basically what you want me to do is have you deduct 1,500 Euros from the lottery sum and deposit it in some bank. Sure, go ahead and do that.

Sincerely,
George W.

I wonder if the lad is going to say anything about the lotto deadline having passed. You know, I'll bet he hasn't even noticed.

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:41 pm

Can those Euro be spent just like real money?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

This lad really needs to get off his lazy duff and start attending to his baiters--erm, customers, that is.

Quote:

Mr. Edwards:

I don't know whether it's some kind of national holiday over there in the Netherlands or not, but it's been a terribly long time since I've heard from your office and am eagerly awaiting the processing of my lottery money. I'm really desperate for the funds, as my twin slut daughters have been emptying my pithy bank account in their quest for the perfect kegger. I assume you've opened the account by now? My trusty assistant Mr. Ridge took a look at your email and explained everything to me: you need me to help you open the account. Tom also explained that Euros can be spent just like real money, so everything is fine.

So how exactly do you want these Euros sent? I've a bit of savings from the family business; the Bush family has been in the muffdiving business for over sixty-nine years now.

Calvary blessings,
George W.

Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:05 pm

Mind if I put Falcon Trust's newest URL on the bank-verminology list (ask to kill the domain name), or should we wait?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

This has been an extremely lazy lad, but if you want to go ahead with killing the fake bank, sure.

Looking at the lad's previous script, I realize now I was actually supposed to CONTACT this fake bank. Oops! I wonder if they'll mind the delay?

Note: any reply I receive, I'll be sure to include the header for you bank killers out there.

Quote:

Mr. Rudolf:

I am writing you at the request of my good friend Mr. Edwards, who is very insistent that I hurry up and get things done. Such an impatient fellow, Terry.

Anyway, I understand Euros can be used just like real money, so yes, go ahead and open up this account for me so I can receive my lotto winnings. I have a little money left over from my family's muffdiving business, which I've saved for investment purposes. It's important we do this quickly, because my twin slut daughters Gonnorhea and Chlamydia are going through my monthly earnings at an alarming rate.

Calvary blessings,
George W. Bush

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

I got a bite this morning from the fake bank, so I'm posting with the full headers for the fellow baiter who's interested in killing this particular institution.

Quote:

X-Apparently-To: [email protected] via 66.163.178.68; Mon, 22 Aug 2005 02:50:39 -0700
X-Originating-IP: [66.163.178.59]
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
Authentication-Results: mta145.mail.scd.yahoo.com from=ftfinancebv.com; domainkeys=neutral (no sig)
Received: from 66.163.178.59 (HELO web33812.mail.mud.yahoo.com) (66.163.178.59) by mta145.mail.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; Mon, 22 Aug 2005 02:50:39 -0700
Received: (qmail 79936 invoked by uid 60001); 22 Aug 2005 09:50:37 -0000
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Received: from [62.194.11.96] by web33812.mail.mud.yahoo.com via HTTP; Mon, 22 Aug 2005 02:50:36 PDT
Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2005 02:50:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: "FALCON TRUST FINANCE BV" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: BANK DEPOSIT IN YOUR FAVOUR
To: "Joseph Panini" <[email protected]>
In-Reply-To: <[email protected]>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="0-324709267-1124704236=:79275"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Content-Length: 703037

Our ref: FT/02-B/1475/NL
Your ref: FTBV/76/47-012

22nd August, 2005

Attention:Joseph Panini

BANK DEPOSIT IN YOUR FAVOUR

This is to inform you that we have received a credit
advice from the INTERNATIONAL PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
to be credited to your account.

Since you do not have an operational account with this
bank, your funds have been lodged in a suspense
account pending the activation of an account.

You are expected to locate the nearest WESTERN UNION
MONEY TRANSFER AGENT to make payment of 1,500Euro
($2,000) representing account activation fee to our
account officer whose details are stated below:

Name: Steve Davies
Address: Wibaustraat 170,1091GH Amsterdam,Netherlands.

You are expected to send a copy of the payment
receipt,the filled form and your identity to us for
reference purpose and also give us a call to inform us
that you have made the payment.

Please notify us also if you wish to make transfers to
other accounts and provide your transfer
instruction(s) and the account type you wish to
activate with us.

Should you have any question, do not hesitate to
contact us.

Thank you for banking with us.

Best Regards,

Roy McKane
For: Anthony Rudolf
TEL: 0031 610 450 182
FAX: 0031 847 139 655

Well, time to nail the lad on the improper name and send him a few .dll files.

Quote:

Mr. McKane:

There seems to be some mistake. I'm the lottery winner--ME--George W. Bush. Hasn't that fellow Mr. Edwards informed you of that? I think you need to read your mail a bit more carefully. Mr. Panini is currently taking a cement bath at the bottom of the Hudson River and won't be needing any funds. The money is mine, mine, all mine. And right now I really need those funds. I've got this little overseas oil project in Iraq that's supposed to last through 2009, and I can foresee a real use for that money.

I'm sending you scans of the documents you requested, but a phone call is out of the question. Mr. Ridge, my trusty assistant, has told me repeatedly that phones and faxes can give you brain cancer. Therefore, I never use them, or get Democrats to talk on the phone for me.

Sincerely,
George W.

Gee, it's going to be a real shame when those documents turn out to be .dll files.

Now I have a question about grabbing .dll files from Windows, creating copies, and renaming them. When I attach them, they're still showing in the attachment as .dll files and not under the .jpg name I gave them. The other lad didn't comment about the discrepancy, but this one might. Of course, I can always take the fake forms he gave me, run it through Photoshop and give it a really bad, fuzzy look so I can blame it on *his* scanner. I've already got a really, really hazy and unusable WU form for his attention.

Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:32 pm

I'm in my second bait of this "Falcon Trust & Finance" mob myself. The email address is from a domain hosted by Yahoo but there is no actual website. Just this morning I sent a complaint to [email protected]. No reply yet.

PM me if you'd like to know how I'm handling the money requests.

Also I found a couple of interesting references to this mob:

http://www.joewein.de/sw/419-ads-paul-zimmerman.htm

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/ripoff152863.htm

http://419.bittenus.com/LotteryWinners/

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

Hmmm, having the real name of the mugu might come in useful when another mugu comes on and claims to have intercepted George W.'s WU transfer.

Guest

Abouth the renaming....make sure you have the original .dll filename visable, you probably have them hidden, and you can set them to be viewed using explorer > tools > folder options > view

Untick the boxes: Hide extentions for known files types and Hide protected operating system files.

You should now see the file name as bleh.jpg.dll or something. when you change the extension you should get a warning message saying about changing it.

Hope that helped

Fest

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

George is getting a little impatient, and this lazy lad needs to hop to it.

Quote:

Mr. McKane:

I do hope the documents reached you all right. My trusty assistant Tom reports that there's been some trouble with the scanners; apparently nanobytes have gotten into the software and chewed through the wires and dilithium interface. If you need them sent again, let me know.

I sent my secretary Ms. Rice to the Western Onion office this morning to send you your money. Fine piece of chocolate booty, that Condi. Anyway, she came back prompt as a whistle with all the information you need.

I think the closest WU office to you is Goffin Bank, Leidsestraat 102, Amsterdam, 1017 PG. At least that's what Condi said. I confess I wasn't watching her mouth at the time.

Recepient: Stevie Davies
MTCN number: 099856728
Test question: What's blue and red all over?
Answer: A Democrat in a blender.

Now Mr. Ridge, who isn't as fine to look at as Condi, has scanned the receipt for you, though he says to be wary of some bugs. I think the last time the office scanner worked properly was when Mr. Clinton sat on it and mooned Mrs. Clinton.

George W.

That WU form, of course, is a HUGE file that somehow didn't manage to scan properly.

Another message to Terry, telling him to step on it.

Quote:

Mr. Edwards:

I confess I'm getting a little impatient here. I sent the forms to Mr. McRory today and his Western Onion transfer. I really need that lottery money.

Mr. McKane wanted my phone number. Here it is, (307) 344-9927, though I never actually talk on the phone myself. They give you brain cancer, you know, and Mr. Cheney is always telling me that I don't have that many brain cells left to spare.

George W.

Too bad it's a pay phone out in the middle of Wyoming, 40 miles from anything in any direction.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 24

These lazy mugus are really getting on George W.'s nerves:

Quote:

Mr. Edwards,

It has been days since I've heard from you. I'm thinking you perhaps need to choose another bank to handle your lottery transactions, as these people are apparently too busy or lazy to collect their WESTERN UNION TRANSFER--my secretary Ms. Rice tells me the money has not been claimed yet. Well, Mr. Edwards, if you or this dubious bank of yours don't want to open the account for me, I can always CANCEL the money and find somebody ELSE to do it.

Waiting for your answer

George W.

This might be the end of the bait as we know it. Oh, well, there are always more fish in the sea. Laughing

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