Larry gets a discharge- Back in Black!!!! (6/22)

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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:12 pm

Ever notice that its the letters that you think will go nowhere usually wind up being the most fun of all?

Quote:

Date: Sat, 2 Apr 2005 03:19:57 +0100
From: [email protected] Add to Address Book
Subject: INHERITANCE OF FUNDS.

Dear Friend,
It is indeed my pleasure to write to you this letter,
which I believe will be a suprise, as we are both
complete strangers.
I am Williams Cole, Deputy Managing Director of Union Bank. I am
writing
in respect of a foreign customer of my bank,
with account number 10-311-74450944/ ubb/b, who perished
in a plane crash Korean Air Flight 801] with the whole passengers
aboard
on August 6, 1997.
Since the demise of this our customer, we have made
several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my
clients extended relatives, this has also proved
unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful
attempts, I also personally watched with keen
interest to see the next of kin but all has proved
abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of
USD.$28.5m,[Twenty Eight million five hundred thousand
united states dollars] which has been with my branch
for a very long time.
On this note, I decided to seek
for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin as
no one has come up to be the next of kin. And the
banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay
more than Eight years,the money will be recalled to
the bank treasury as unclaimed and subsequently
forfieted after this period. In view of this I got
your contact through trade journal after realizing
that your country is similar to the deceased. I will
give you 25% being ($7,125,000) .
We shall employ the service of Attorney for the drafting and
notarization
of the WILL and obtain the necessary documents and letter of
probate/administration
in your favour for the transfer. Any bank account in any part of the
world
which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money
to
you as the beneficiary/Next of Kin.
There is no risk at all, the paperwork for this transaction will be
done
by the Attorney and my position as the Deputy Managing Director, the
successful
execution of this transaction.
Upon the receipt of your response, I will send you the application for
claim,
and the next step to take. I will not fail to bring to your notice that
this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain any fear
as
all modalities for fund transfer can be finalized within 8 banking
days,
after you apply to the bank as a relation to the deceased.I guarantee
that
this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect
you
from any breach of the law.
When you receive this letter. Kindly send me e-mail at:
[email protected]

Thank you for your kind attention and may the good Lord continue
to guide us to greater height in all our endeavours,
Best regards,
Williams Cole.
Deputy Managing Director
(Union Bank Plc)

Fascinating. Wake me when its over.

Quote:

Cole:

I am really interested in your offer. Please let me know what to do to help you.

Matt Foley

Quote:

Dear Matt Foley,

Thank you for your respond to my proposal but before i can continue with you, I will like you to re-send me the Letter i sent to you and any kind of your identification for security reasons.

I am waiting for you.

Your's sincerely,

Williams Cole

He needs security? Has he been baiter-bitten before? Or is he just an extra cautious virgin who needs a little discipline Larry Flynt style?

Quote:

Dear Cole:

here is your letter to me. I hope this clarifies the
situation for you.

Matt foley
(REHASH OF CRAP HE INITALLY SENT ME)

Of course, I sent him my Driver's license, Sears Credit Card and American Express cards for indentification. And then a troop of rhesus monkeys flew out of my ass.

Quote:

Dear Friend Matt Foley,
Thanks for your respond to my proposal as I can now assured you that this business is the beginning of a long lasting relationship between us. As soon as the money is transferred to your account I shall come over to your country for disbursement, It is my intention to use part of my share in any profitable business venture preferably real estate property management, I shall count on your assistance when the time comes.
The said Mr Dahlic Mitchelle was a contractor to one of the oil Companies in Nigeria, until his death in an unfortunate auto crash some years ago. Being the designated officer in charge of His account in the bank, I made spirited efforts to locate his extended family outside Nigeria but was futile.
As with such funds, deposited in any Nigerian bank, when there was no one forthcoming as a legalise to claim the fund, the bank reserves the right to take possession of the funds and send it to the Federal Government Treasury. It is in order to avoid this that I decided to contact you, so that I can present you as the next of kin to late Mr Dahlic Mitchelle and inheritor to the funds. And subsequently have the fund remitted to your designated account for our mutual benefits.
I have the entire necessary and relevant documents to back up the claim and executed in a manner to guarantee protection against any breach of law. In this regard and in order not to be seen as having undue interest in the matter, it becomes expedient that I retain the services of an attorney on your behalf. I have accordingly contracted an attorney that would take care of the legal aspect of the transaction for the Bank to have the authority to transfer the said sum to you and as soon as we obtained the court affidavit of fund realise the authority to transfer the said sum to you ,the transaction will only take Eight bank working days.

It is imperative to remind you of the need for trust and honesty� any act of dishonesty should be guided against. As you would agree with me, transactions of this nature requires absolute secrecy and confidentiality, I will advice that you keep this within yourself only.

To begin with the process for the claim, we shall forward to the Bank an application for claim, I am sending specimen of the application to you, which you are to transcript into any form of your letter head paper, complete the spaces with your information and send back to the Bank. As soon as it is received, you would be contacted by the Bank informing you of how the funds would be transferred into your account.
In view of the above, Please do furnish me with your direct telephone and fax numbers, contact address and occupation to enable me file in your name in the data computer of our Bank as the next of kin/beneficiary to the late Mr Dahlic Mitchelle to avoid any complications in transferring the funds to your account, while phone and fax is needed for easy and fast communication. I will oversee the process and make sure urgent approval is granted to the claim.
Waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards,
Mr Williams Cole

PLEASE COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION AND SEND TO THE BANK DIRECTOR.

YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS
TEL:
FAX:

REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI
THE DIRECTOR{FOREIGN OPERATIONS}
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DIVISION,
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,
17-19 ALLEN AVENUE,
IKEJA , LAGOS-
NIGERIA.
E-MAIL: [email protected]

DEAR SIR,
NOTIFICATION/APPLICATION FOR NEXT- OF- KIN IN RESPECT
10-311-74450944 UBN/B-------------US$28.5M.

I WRITE IN RESPECT OF MY COUSIN LATE MR DAHLIG MITCHELLE
WITH THE ABOVE STATED ACCOUNT IN YOUR BANK. HE DIED IN
A PLANE CRASH IN THE YEAR 1997. UNTIL NOW I HAVE NOT
BEEN ABLE TO COME FORWARD AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO MAKE
CLAIMS TO HIS ACCOUNT WITH YOUR BANK BECAUSE I HAVE
BEEN RECENTLY INFORMED.
I WILL BE MOST GRATEFUL IF YOU CAN FURNISH ME WITH
YOUR PROCEDURES FOR THE CLAIMS AND TRANSFER OF THE
PROCEEDS OF HIS ACCOUNT INTO MY ACCOUNT CO-ORDINATES BELOW:

YOUR BANK NAME:......................................��
BANK ADDRESS:....................................��
ACCOUNT NUMBER:.................................��
SWIFT CODE:.......................................��
BENEFICIARY:��
TEL:.................��.FAX:.............��

I ANTICIPATE YOUR KIND CO-OPERATION.
YOURS FAITHFULLY
YOUR NAME AND SIGNATURE

My complete and utter failure to provide any indentification whatsoever did not disturb him in the least. Too bad, becuase by the time all is said and done, he is going to be very, very disturbed.

Quote:

Dear Friend,
How are you and your work today? i hope fine and i have been waiting to hearing from you to know if you have sent the application to the Bank Director for formal approvals.

please if you have sent it kindly let me know by also assuring me of your intergrity and capability towards this transaction.
Tel: 234-803-4006721 you can reach me with this my mobile number any time.
I will be waiting to hearing from you soonest.

Kindly,
Williams Cole

I ain't your friend, motherf**ker. But you're going to figure that out soon enough. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dr Kahuna

Here is my bank application for the next of kim to Diclik Michelle. Are you a medical doctor by chance? If so, I'm having a discharge that I would like to ask you about.

Thanks,
Matt Foley

Williams Cole <[email protected]> wrote:
Date: Wed, 6 Apr 2005 17:40:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Williams Cole <[email protected]>
Subject: PLEASE COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION AND SEND TO THE BANK DIRECTOR.
To: Matt Foley <[email protected]>

Dear Friend Matt Foley,
Thanks for your respond to my proposal as I can now assured you that this business is the beginning of a long lasting relationship between us. As soon as the money is transferred to your account I shall come over to your country for disbursement, It is my intention to use part of my share in any profitable business venture preferably real estate property management, I shall count on your assistance when the time comes.
The said Mr Dahlic Mitchelle was a contractor to one of the oil Companies in Nigeria, until his death in an unfortunate auto crash some years ago. Being the designated officer in charge of His account in the bank, I made spirited efforts to locate his extended family outside Nigeria but was futile.
As with such funds, deposited in any Nigerian bank, when there was no one forthcoming as a legalise to claim the fund, the bank reserves the right to take possession of the funds and send it to the Federal Government Treasury. It is in order to avoid this that I decided to contact you, so that I can present you as the next of kin to late Mr Dahlic Mitchelle and inheritor to the funds. And subsequently have the fund remitted to your designated account for our mutual benefits.
I have the entire necessary and relevant documents to back up the claim and executed in a manner to guarantee protection against any breach of law. In this regard and in order not to be seen as having undue interest in the matter, it becomes expedient that I retain the services of an attorney on your behalf. I have accordingly contracted an attorney that would take care of the legal aspect of the transaction for the Bank to have the authority to transfer the said sum to you and as soon as we obtained the court affidavit of fund realise the authority to transfer the said sum to you ,the transaction will only take Eight bank working days.

It is imperative to remind you of the need for trust and honesty� any act of dishonesty should be guided against. As you would agree with me, transactions of this nature requires absolute secrecy and confidentiality, I will advice that you keep this within yourself only.

To begin with the process for the claim, we shall forward to the Bank an application for claim, I am sending specimen of the application to you, which you are to transcript into any form of your letter head paper, complete the spaces with your information and send back to the Bank. As soon as it is received, you would be contacted by the Bank informing you of how the funds would be transferred into your account.
In view of the above, Please do furnish me with your direct telephone and fax numbers, contact address and occupation to enable me file in your name in the data computer of our Bank as the next of kin/beneficiary to the late Mr Dahlic Mitchelle to avoid any complications in transferring the funds to your account, while phone and fax is needed for easy and fast communication. I will oversee the process and make sure urgent approval is granted to the claim.
Waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards,
Mr Williams Cole

PLEASE COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION AND SEND TO THE BANK DIRECTOR.

Matthew Foley
TEL: 206-495-6510
FAX: none

REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI
THE DIRECTOR{FOREIGN OPERATIONS}
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DIVISION,
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,
17-19 ALLEN AVENUE,
IKEJA , LAGOS-
NIGERIA.
E-MAIL: [email protected]

DEAR SIR,
NOTIFICATION/APPLICATION FOR NEXT- OF- KIN IN RESPECT
10-311-74450944 UBN/B-------------US$28.5M.

I WRITE IN RESPECT OF MY COUSIN LATE MR DAHLIG MITCHELLE
WITH THE ABOVE STATED ACCOUNT IN YOUR BANK. HE DIED IN
A PLANE CRASH IN THE YEAR 1997. UNTIL NOW I HAVE NOT
BEEN ABLE TO COME FORWARD AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO MAKE
CLAIMS TO HIS ACCOUNT WITH YOUR BANK BECAUSE I HAVE
BEEN RECENTLY INFORMED.
I WILL BE MOST GRATEFUL IF YOU CAN FURNISH ME WITH
YOUR PROCEDURES FOR THE CLAIMS AND TRANSFER OF THE
PROCEEDS OF HIS ACCOUNT INTO MY ACCOUNT CO-ORDINATES BELOW:

YOUR BANK NAME........Gary Busey First National Bank
BANK ADDRESS:...........69 Chingatumadre Lane. Merde del Toro, California 90210

acUNT NUMBER:............5543221542150427
SWIFT CODE:.............................none

FICIARY:��me

ANTICIPATE YOUR KIND CO-OPERATION.
YOURS FAITHFULLY
YOUR NAME AND SIGNATURE

Quote:

Hi Billy:

I sent the appilcation to Rev Dr Hole Kahuna this morning and I am eagerly awaiting his reply! He sure has a lot of titles. What church is he a reverend of? Also, he must work like a japanese beaver to hold down a job as a physician, a bank manager and still have time to minister to his flock. I bet he has one muthafucka of a Palm Pilot!

Blessings of the season,
Matt Foley

This next letter is priceless. I get to hear from the Reverend Doctor Esquire Senator Knight of the Realm himself!

Quote:

DEAR MATTHEW FOLEY,

I AM A MEDICAL DOCTOR, BANK OFFICIAL AND A REVEREND IN ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH BUT AT PRESENT I AM OUT OF MY COUNTRY FOR THE BURIAL OF POPE JOHN PAUL 11 HERE WITH MY LAPTOP COMPUTER AND TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE PATIENT AND I WILL TAKE AS SOON AS AM BACK TO MY COUNTRY.

IT IS A PITTY THAT OUR ACTIVE COSTUMER LATE MR DAHLIG MITCHELLE IS YOUR COUSIN AND WE ARE SINCERELY SORRY FOR THAT LOST ON PLANE CLASH.

YOU ARE HEREBY ADVICE TO CONTACT A NIGERIAN REGISTERED LAWYER THAT WILL GET SOME LEGAL NECESSARY DOCUMENTS TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS HENCE YOUR FUNDS OF $28.5M US DOLLARS ARE HERE LAYING IN YOUR LATE COUSIN'S MR DAHLIG MITCHELL ACCOUNT IN OUR BANK.

WE CAN NOT MAKE ANY PAYMENT NOR DEDUCT ANY FUND FROM THE ACCOUNT FOR WHAT EVER REASON UNTIL NEITHER YOU OR YOUR ATTORNEY COME UP WITH OTHER DOCUMENTS /AFFIDAVIT OF FUND RELEASE TO OUR UNION BANK OFFICE HERE FOR PRESENTATION AND SIGNATORY OF ALL OUR NECESSARY BANK FILES.

PLEASE SEND YOUR AGE, OCCUPATION AND COMPANY'S NAME, AS YOU ARE ADVISED TO CANTACT A NIGERIAN LAWYER TO ENABLING US START OUR JOB WITH THE INFORMATION BEING PROVIDED BY YOU.

REGARDS AND GOD BLESS YOU,

REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI

Quote:

Dear matt.,

Thank you for your email, the man of God is in Pope,s burial he is a Reverend in Roman Catholic church hold big job as a physician, a bank Director and still have time to minister the sweet word of God, He is a great man.

My friend Matt, just wait for his email because he can read emails from any where in the world as he goes out with his laptop computer.

please send me your private phone numbers so that i can get intouch with you.

kindly let me know by also assuring me of your intergrity and capability towards this transaction.
Tel: 234-803-4006721 you can reach me with this my mobile number any time.
I will be waiting to hearing from you soonest.
Kindly,
Williams Cole

Quote:

Dear Matt,

I have been waiting for your reply and i want you to do what i ask you to do so that we can move on by tomorrow as you and I, were going to benefit alot on this deal.
I will be waiting to hearing from you soonest..

I love you and your family,

Williams Cole.

Then I got a voicemail from Willie-boy Cole, it was mostly gibberish, but he was condecendingly emphatic when he said "...take this serious!" Other than that, it mostly sounded like "Gobble, gobble! Gobble gobble, gobble!" Time to introduce him to my slappin' hand. But first, the Reverend Doctor Mugu wants his money!

Quote:

Dear Bro. Matthew,

It is very much necessary that you obtained all the legal certificates to back up your huge amount of funds without any hitch as all confirmation and negotiation have been arranged properly on your behalf in respect of remitting/ transferring your funds into your Account.

The full and final sum of $6,500 USD (SIX THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS ONLY) must to be paid by you through the Western Union Money Transfer should be addressed to:

MR. IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR

HEAD OF ACCOUNT (HOA)

17-19, ALLEN AVENUE

IKEJA LAGOS

E-MAIL: [email protected]

However, you are advise to send the following payment/slip information as follows:

NAME OF THE SENDER:.........................................................

SENDER'S ADDRESS:............................................................

NAME OF THE RECEIVER:.........................................................

AMOUNT PAID IN:........................................................................

MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL CODE (MCTN) 10 DIGITS...............

TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER:.................................................

You will copy cc to my E-mailbox when sending the payment/ slip information to the H.O.A to enable records keeping as we will be moving forward as soon as all legal necessary documents that shows and permitted that Union Bank are not transacting/ courier drugs or involved in any money laundry as it is against the law and such certificates shall obtained and given to you.

Best regards and God be with you and your prosperious family.

Your's Sincerely,

Rev. (Dr.) Shola Kadiri.

(Union Bank Plc)

Quote:

Dear Brother Matthew,
I am online waiting now as i want to hearing from you so that we can move forward processing the transfer documents of the fund into your account number: 5543221542150427
at Gary Busey First National Bank in your country.

If you can handle this matter so serious by paying the fees of US$6,500 being asked by the authority in control, your money of the said sum of US$28.5Million Dollars will be transferred into you account in the next 48 hours and all original transfer documents will be send to you for you to take to your bank and confirm the wire immediately ok.

I am looking forward to hearing from you now.

Thank you and God bless you and your family.

Blessings,

REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI
THE DIRECTOR{FOREIGN OPERATIONS}
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DIVISION,
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,
17-19 ALLEN AVENUE,
IKEJA , LAGOS-

Keep waiting, asshole.

One of the big points of contention when I was in medical school was how to describe a lesion with pus. The professional way of saying this is to say that the lesion is purulent. However, the term pussy (PUH-see) is frequently used in coversation, but for obvious reasons, rarely written because of the colloquial homonym. It is therefore more correct to say that "her genital wound is still purulent" as opposed to "her genital would is still pussy." Let's see is Shola-asshola can tell the diffrence.

Quote:

Hi Doctor Shola!

I am very impressed that you were at the funeral of
the pope! Did you take any pictures? I would love to
see them.

Also, since you are a medical doctor, can you please
tell me why it hurts when I urinate? This has been
happening for the past few months. I'm also having a
discharge. Its discharging pus, Shole. I asked a nurse
who is a friend about it, and she thinks its a little
pussy. Can I send you pictures of my condition, and
you tell me if you think its a little pussy or not?

Lastly, since when do I owe you $6500? I thought this
transaction was risky free? Please send me an itemized
bill for all the services that this will cover,
becuase I will need it for my 3515(F-U) tax report.

Thanks,
Matt Foley

Time to call Willie out.

Quote:

Dearest beloved Willie:

I got your voice mail last night. You sound like you
have a serious pole up your ass. I do not like the
tone of voice you are taking with me. Remember, it was
you who asked for my help. If I need any lip out of
you, I'll wipe it off my zipper.

Blessings of the season.
Matt Foley

P.S. Slow the fuck down when you talk. I can only
understand about half of anything you said since it
was mostly "oooga-booga TAKE THIS SERIOUS oooga-booga
RISKY FREE".

Quote:

DEAR BROTHER MATTHEW,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR E-MAIL BUT I FEEL VERY MUCH SORRY ABOUT YOUR PRESENT HEALTH CONDITION AS I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND YOUR RECENT PICTURES FOR MY KIND PERUSAL BELIEVING THAT WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE AND IF I SEE YOUR PHOTOGRAPH I WILL TELL YOU THE NAME AND SOLUTION OF YOUR SICKNESS.

I WILL LIKE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT EVERY FOREIGN TRANSACTION MUST PASS THROUGH THIS PROCESS FROM THE HIGH AUTHORITIES CONCERNED.

HOWEVER, THE ACCOUNT HAVE BEEN DORMANT FOR EIGHT YEARS NOW AND ALSO BEEN NOTICED BY THE GOVERNMENT AS DECEASED DORMANT ACCOUNT AND THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN TRANSACT SUCH BUSINESS WITHOUT THE FORMAL APPROVED NECESSARY LEGAL DOCUMENTS AS ANY THING AGAINST SHALL BRING BREACH OF LAW.

THE FOLLOWING LEGAL DOCUMENTS NEED TO BE OBTAINED TO BACK UP YOUR FUND TO ENABLE US DISCHARGE OUR RESPECTIVE DUTIES EFFICIENCY WITH GREAT HOPE THAT ONCE THE PAYMENT IS RECEIVED FROM YOU BY THE ACCOUNT OFFICER: MR IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR HE WILL ISSUE YOU RECEIPT OF PAYMENT AND ALL DOCUMENTS WILL BE OBTAINED WITH RECEIPT ON YOUR BEHALF THEM WE CAN MOVE FASTLY IN REMITTING THE FUNDS OF $28.5MILLION INTO YOUR ACCOUNT :

THE FOLLOWING LEGAL DOCUMENTS NEED TO BE OBTAINED

1. IN FULL AND FINAL FUNDS RELEASE ORDER FROM ECONOMIC COMMUNITIES OF WEST AFRICAN STATES (ECOWAS) AT THE COST OF US$2500

2. AUTHORIZATION CERTIFICATE FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN).AT THE COST OF US$1700

3. CERTIFICATE FROM ECONOMICS AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC) OFFICE. AT THE COST OF US$1000

4.CERTIFICATE FROM NATIONAL DRUG AND FINANCIAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY(NDFLEA) OFFICE. AT THE COST OF US$1000

5. VALUE ADDED TAX (VAT) AT THE COST OF US$300

UPON THE PRESENTATION OF THESE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AS MENTIONED ABOVE, YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY/ INHERITOR WILL BE INVITED TO COME FORWARD TO THE LEGAL DEPARTMENT IN OUR BANK FOR THE ORIGINAL SIGNATORY OR WHEREBY YOU CANNOT COME TO OUR UNION BANK OFFICE HERE DUE TO ONE REASON OR THE OTHER, YOU WILL USE THE SERVICES OF A PROXY TO SIGN ALL DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF.

MAY THE GOD ALMIGHTY CONTINUE TO STRENGHTEN YOU AS YOU HAVE FAITH IN JESUS NAME, AMEN.

BE HEALED,

REV. (DR.) SHOLA KADIRI.

Kick-ass! He even asks for photographs! And don't you just love the "value-added tax"? That is really the icing on the ol' 419 cake.

Quote:

Dear brother Matthew,
Your health condition is what is called : Gonorrhoea infection, is a venereal disease with a discharge from the genitals that make a patient going through the illness not be capable of pregnanting a woman during sex and can only be finally cured with Chineese Herbal medicine called :
1. Chitoans

2. Antilipemic Tea zin.

3. Nutrient high calcium powder.

All prescription drugs above can be obtain from Herbal medical shop here, if in need and discription of usage will be directed as well.

Please make the payment through the Accounting Officer Mr. Iwezor Kenneth Chibuzor, do it and he will issue you receipt of your payment immediately and in the meantime you will have the control of your fund as all the relevant documents are avaliable in their ministries/offices concerned to be obtained.

Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

I am here also praying for you.

God bless,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

Wow! And I thought I caught it from a toliet seat!

Quote:

Dr. Shola-hola!

Thanks for the advice about my pussy discharge. I must have caught it from a toliet seat or something; it not like I haven't had receptive anal intercourse with transients at a bus station or anything. Those medicines sound expensive. I went to Walgreens and they didn't have any of that stuff. All along I thought that all I needed was a shot of penicillin, but I couldn't have been more wrong! What the hell is a Chitoan, anyway? Do you have to go to Chad to get those? I looked on a map of Africa and couldn't find Chad anywhere.

Well, blessings of the season!
Matt Foley

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

Mr. Foley wouldn't have a business colleague, Mr. Broviac, would he?

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:52 pm

As in catheter? Laughing

Hadn't thought of that. Acutally Matt Foley was a very, very funny bit that the late Chris Farley did on Saturday Night Live many years ago when it was still worth watching. Just imagine a large, sweaty man yelling "... AND I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!" That still makes me laugh!

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 6:16 pm

How could you not expect this to go somewhere? The guy's name is "[pluralization of a common male western name] Cole," for crying out loud! And he is a real doozy, congratulations.

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

Yeah, as in catheter. Maybe my next baiting baiting persona will be Mr. Trochar. Laughing

And I saw the "Cole" surname too.

Larry: You may want to do a search or ask a regular about Freight baits and Tired old crap. Cool

PM if you want more details Wink

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:18 pm

Oh Teddy, it was the antics of The Failure that made me want to be a baiter in the first place! I don't have the time or the energy to do all the hysterical shit he pulls off, but I still like to contribute in my own little humble manner. Very Happy

The saga of my painful urination continues! The subject line for this next email was TREAT FAST. I'll assume he is talking about my urethritis and not the money transfer. After all, can you really put a dollar value on my penis?

Quote:

Dear brother Matthew,

This kind of sickness can only be finally cured with Chineese ( China) Herbal medicine called :
1. Chitoans.

2. Antilipemic Tea zin.

3. Nutrient high calcium powder.

Only from this way but not from chad as i did not mentioned chad for you and penicillin can not do any thing for this case and i can get theChineese ( China) Herbal medicine for you.

All prescription drugs above can be obtain from Herbal medical stores here, if in need and discription of usage will be directed as well.

Please make the payment through the Accounting Officer Mr. Iwezor Kenneth Chibuzor, do it and he will issue you receipt of your payment immediately and in the meantime you will have the control of your fund as all the relevant documents are avaliable in their ministries/offices concerned to be obtained.

Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

I am here also praying for you.

God bless,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

Ass-clown has toned down his act quite a bit since the slap.

Quote:

Dear Matt Foley,

Thanks for your Email, how are you and your work today?

I hope you got the procedures from the bank as i will like you to act fast to quicken our business so that that we can move forward processing the transfer documents of the fund into your account bank in your country.

I want you to handle this matter very serious by paying the fees being asked by the authority in control, the said sum of US$28.5Million Dollars will be transferred into you account in the next 48 hours and all original transfer documents will be send to you for you to take to your bank and confirm the wire immediately ok.

I will be coming down to your country to have my own share for investment purpose as soon as the money gets into your account ok...

I am looking forward to hearing from you now.

Thank you and God bless you and your family.

Best Regards,

Williams Cole

Dr. Shola-hola's Chinese herbal crap didn't work. I was nice enough to send him a photo of a penis dripping pus, as well as some WU forms for the filling out of.

Quote:

Dr. Hola

My pussy genitals aren't feeling any better, I'm sad
to say. I rubbed chitlins, tea and some crushed up
chalk all over my fun-stick, but I am still having a
pussy discharge. I have enclosed pictures so that you
may examine my pussy discharge more carefully.

Also, I went to Western Union the other day to send
you the required forms. However, the sweaty lady at
the counter sad that Africa was a hotbed of fraudulent
scam artists, most of whom are well known homosexuals.
I explained the situation in detail to her, but she
only gave me some forms that must be filled out for
you to receive your money in a risky-free manner.
Please fill out these forms so that I can give them
back to the fat lady at Western Union.

Many thanks,
Matt Foley

P.S.: Who is Chad? Do I need to send the money to him?

Quote:

Dear my brother Matthew,

What is your answers to Western union Agency for what the money will be used for?

Thank you for the information you provided as i will print the Western Union forms ut and send to our accounting officer and the person you are paying the money to fill in with his information and i will send it back to you as soon as the Western Union forms are completed by MR. IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR:

PLEASE PAY THE MONEY TO:

MR. IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR
HEAD OF ACCOUNT (HOA)
17-19, ALLEN AVENUE
IKEJA LAGOS

However, you are advise to send the following payment/slip information as follows:

NAME OF THE SENDER:.........................................................
SENDER'S ADDRESS:............................................................
NAME OF THE RECEIVER:.........................................................
AMOUNT PAID IN:........................................................................
MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL CODE (MCTN) 10 DIGITS...............
TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER:.................................................

I may examine your pussy discharge more carefully as soon as you send money to handle all and i see it as something i can handle for better and final cure as i see it as disease you got from women during sexaul intercourse but my advise to you now is you must stay out of women and keep to your medical examined wife only.

May God keep your health healthy,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

Quote:

Dr. Hole:

I told the Western Union lady that I had some gambling
debts in Nigeria that should be paid off. She said
that all money transfers must fill the form out,
regardless of what modality the money is to be used
for.

Thank you so much for your support of my illness. As
Archimedes said when he got out of the tub, "Urethra!
I have found it!" Per your advice, I shall marry
immediately and have the lucky girl medically examined
for any pussy discharge as well. Of course, that begs
the question, who should I marry? I was thinking of
going to Vegas, since I could probably hook up with a
showgirl there and prostitution is against the law in
Clark County. I think getting married by an elvis
impersonator would be fucking awesome. Please advise
me on what I should do at this point.

I just had an idea... since you are a Catholic priest,
would you marry me? What I mean is, would you perform
the ritual for me and the future Mrs. Foley? If so,
what do you look for in an altar boy? I would think
young, servile, and full pouty lips would be the key
factors. I have a nephew who would do in a pinch.

thanks for everything, and I hope to talk to you soon!
Matt Foley

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

Brilliant. But I want to see the purulent penile product photograph. Laughing

(pass some probencid, please) Wink

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:46 pm

Teddy, if you have a real hankering for uncensored "gonococci gone wild" action, point your browser to... http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdimages.asp?std=Gonorrhea

Father Doctor Holey-Hole is going to save my eternal soul!

Quote:

Dear my brother Matthew,

Thanks for your email, i can assure you that i can do anything to make sure that your illness symtoms are for better as i am going to treat the disease go forever and you will not experience such again for life.

I am a well known man of a living God, a Catholic high priestand you have nothing to worry about but first thank the Almighty God for having a Catholic high priest to handle your illness but you must assure me that you will be a born again christian. PLEASE READ HEW:10:25. MATTHEW. 24:36,44

May God keep your health healthy,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

...but the small matter of the money remains.

Quote:

Dear my brother Matthew,
The Accounting Officer have just finished filling out the Western Union Forms as you are advised to print them out and run to send with the money to the Western Union office to make sure that the fund gets here today and also tell them that the money will used to settle some debt. for your illness and it is necessary they wire it immediately.

Please tell the lady that the fund need to be transfer down to my destination today without any delay as the purpose/ used of the fund is urgently needed to finalise things on your behalf.

We will be expecting the payment details from you today as you can see all the Western Union Forms here below.

We will move forward to get all the medicine for your health as soon as we confirmed your payment.

Be strong and God bless,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

He send this half-hearted effort back to me:

I am compelled to respond! Two days late...

Quote:

Father Doctor Holy Sholy:

I have wonderful news! Praise be to God almighty, for your prayers and blessings have cured my pussy infection! I woke up this morning and urinated without screaming and sobbing like a woman for the first time in weeks! On top of that, I have had no malodourous discharge to explain to my "life partner" for any reason!!! Father Doctor Kadiri, you have cured me with the miracle of modalities! Oh happy day! I could kiss you right on the lips, Father Doctor! No tongue, though! (thats a joke! )

Now then, thank you for the forms you filled out. I took them to the fat lady at Western Onion, and she said that your answer to question 14 (Yes. Many times.) was not complete. She asked that you provide details of all religious organizations that you belong to as it says on the form. I tried to argue with her, but she just went back to eating Twinkies. Her name is Stella if you want to call Western Union customer service and complain.

Also, I realize it is none of my business, but I glanced at your forms. Who, may I ask, is "Psycho The Rapist?" I hope it is nobody you have associated with, because in America rapists are considered to be bad people.

I almost forgot, you never answered in you last email who I should marry? I knocked a girl up in 8th grade once. Should I look her up and try to renew our ties?

A million thanks,
Matt Foley

Maybe I should quit giving little Willie the silent treatment.

Quote:

Hey there Willie Coal:

I just emailed Father Doctor Kareze. Would you beleive that man cured me of my horrible affliction? He is truly a wonderful and blessed man, you are lucky to have him there in Nigeria. Tell me, is he a black man? I have heard that there are many black people in Africa.

Anyway, he is helping me out with the whole western union money transfer. Its the fastest way to send money worldwide, Williams. By the way, would you send me some indentification of yourself? I just realized that I don't have so much as a library card from you, and I am entrusting you with the swift conclusion of my modalities! That would sure be appreciated.

Thanks,
Matt Foley

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 207

Larry Flynt wrote:

Teddy, if you have a real hankering for uncensored "gonococci gone wild" action, point your browser to... http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdimages.asp?std=Gonorrhea

...and for my next bait, I'm going to play an individual who becomes less and less lucid due to subacute sclerosing pan-encephalitis.

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:54 pm

It seems that filling out forms correctly is just too damn hard for Dr. Holey. For lack of a form, he expects me to haul my ass to Canada.

Quote:

Dear my brother Matthew,

Thanks to the Almighty God for His miracles and He is the only one i can put my trust to as it is written in the Bible according to the book of "Psalm 31:1" as you are healed of pussy infection/ gonorrhea! urinated without screaming and sobbing like before and had no malodourous discharge again Praise be to God Almighty, for answer to prayers because our good lord is so good to us.

Now, i want you to go to Canada send the money through the Western Union office from Canada so that the fund will get here today and also tell them that you are sending it to your Good friend who takes very good care of your health and claim that you are staying in Canada for now and it is very much necessary they wire it immediately.

It is very much necessary that you obtained all the legal certificates to back up your huge amount of funds without any hitch as all confirmation and negotiation have been arranged properly on your behalf in respect of remitting/ transferring your funds into your Account.

The full and final sum of $6,500 USD (SIX THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS ONLY) must to be paid by you through the Western Union Money Transfer should be addressed to:

PLEASE PAY THE MONEY TO:

MR. IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR

HEAD OF ACCOUNT (HOA)

17-19, ALLEN AVENUE

IKEJA LAGOS

However, you are advised to send the following payment/slip information as follows:

NAME OF THE SENDER:.........................................................

SENDER'S ADDRESS:............................................................

NAME OF THE RECEIVER:.........................................................

AMOUNT PAID IN:........................................................................

MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL CODE (MCTN) 10 DIGITS...............

TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER:.................................................

It's very Much easy to send from WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER IN CANADA without any stress and further delay.

We will move forward to get all the legal necessary transfer documents as soon as we confirmed your payment.

I am online waiting now as i want to hearing from you so that we can move forward processing the transfer documents of the fund into your account number: 5543221542150427
at Gary Busey First National Bank in your country.

I want you to handle this matter so serious by paying the fees of US$6,500 being asked by the authorities in control, your money of the said sum of US$28.5Million Dollars will be transferred into you account in the next 48 hours and all original transfer documents will be send to you for you to take to your bank and confirm the wire immediately ok!!!!!!!!.

I am looking forward to hearing from you now.

Thank you and God bless you and your family.

Be strong and God bless, ,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri,
THE DIRECTOR{FOREIGN OPERATIONS}
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DIVISION,
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,
17-19 ALLEN AVENUE,
IKEJA , LAGOS-

Quote:

DEAR FRIEND MATT,

OH, MAYBE YOU DON,T BELIEVE BEFORE THAT "REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI" IS A GREAT MAN OF GOD AS I TOLD YOU AND I KNOW THAT WITH HIS PRAYERS, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE OVER BECAUSE OUR HEAVENLY GOD HEARS HIM WHEN HE CALLED FOR HEALING MERCIES.

HE IS A REAL BLACK AND STRONG AFRICAN MAN OF GOD IN ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH.

HOWEVER, I HAVE ATTACHED COPY OF MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT FOR YOUR KIND PERUSAL.
PLEASE GO AND DO THE PAYMENT THROUGH CANADA WESTERN UNION NEAR YOU.

THANK GOD FOR HEALING MERCIES IN YOUR HEALTH.

REGARDS AND GOD BLESS YOU,

WILLIAMS COLE.

F-tard's passport was not attached. What a tool.

Quote:

Dear my brother Matthew,

i tried your phone line but it went into answering machine today.

I want you to call me with the phone number + 234-8034006721 immediately

i am waiting for your call now.

Be strong and God bless,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

My sister-in-law got married this weekend to a wonderful guy. The wedding was a blast and the food at the reception was to die for. Yet somehow, in all those festivities, I kind of forgot to call the Revered Doctor Holey Frijoles. Ooops. I can be so self-centered.

Oh yeah, I also got some incoherent message on my K7 account. I'm guessing it was from our scammers, but I literally could not tell a single word this ass-dagger said.

Quote:

DEAR FRIEND MATT,

OH, MAYBE YOU DON,T BELIEVE BEFORE THAT "REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI" IS A GREAT MAN OF GOD AS I TOLD YOU AND I KNOW THAT WITH HIS PRAYERS, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE OVER BECAUSE OUR HEAVENLY GOD HEARS HIM WHEN HE CALLED FOR HEALING MERCIES.

HE IS A REAL BLACK AND STRONG AFRICAN MAN OF GOD IN ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH.

HOWEVER, I HAVE ATTACHED COPY OF MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT FOR YOUR KIND PERUSAL.
PLEASE GO AND DO THE PAYMENT THROUGH CANADA WESTERN UNION NEAR YOU.
THANK GOD FOR HEALING MERCIES IN YOUR HEALTH.

REGARDS AND GOD BLESS YOU,
WILLIAMS COLE.

I'm pretty sure the fold marks on his passport are standard issue.

Quote:

DEAR FRIEND MATT.
I SENT THAT MY PASSPORT YESTERDAY BUT IT DIDN'T APPEAR THEN I RESEND IT TODAY SO THAT YOU CAN SEE ME CLEARLY AS I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND YOURS TOO TO ENABLE ME KNOW EXACTLY WHOM I AM DEALING WITH.

WE WAITED FOR YOUR PAYMENT DETAILS TO ENABLING US CONTINUE THE PROCESSING OF YOUR TRANSACTION DOCUMENTS AS YOU CAN SEE THAT TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE TO DELAY FURTHER.

PLEASE NOW THAT WE ARE IN RIGHT DEAL AND IN PROGRESS, COULD YOU PLEASE HANDLE THIS OUR BUSINESS WITH TOP SECRET AND ALWAYS REPLIES ANY OF OUR EMAIL IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY LITTILE DELAY?

THIS IS BECAUSE THE HIGH PERSONALITIES IN UNION BANK EVEN REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI, ARE COMPLAINING THAT YOU HARDLY RESPOND TO LETTERS BEEN SENT TO YOU TO FINALISE THINGS IN YOUR FAVOUR AND I ASSURED YOU THAT YOU AND I, WILL SMILE TOGETHER AND DRINK N ONE TABLE IN YOUR PLACE AS WELL.

PLEASE JUST TRAVEL TO CANADA AND DO THE PAYMENT SO THAT THE BANK OFFICIALS CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT .

W. COLE

"PLEASE JUST TRAVEL TO CANADA"?!?! Hey, I think Canada's great. They gave the world Rush, [/blasting_Tom_Sawyer] Tom Green, and professional hockey (and many other things, as Max Power frequently points out to me). But I'm not dropping what I'm doing just to take a road trip to the Great White North, for cryin' out loud! Well, I've kept the lads waiting for a while. Time to actually write back.

Quote:

Dearest Williams!

Blessings of the season, sugarbritches! I wanted to let you know that your "passport" is quite impressive. In fact, it almost looks a real one! I just love your sense of humor. You must be the Andy Kaufman of Nigeria!

But like you say, time is not on our side, and it would be delightful if you could send a REAL passport so that I am assured that this transaction will be risky-free! In the meantime, me and my friends have been having a good laugh at what you sent. That was great! Smile

Much love and wet kisses,
Matt Foley

That ought to shake things up. BTW, I disdain Andy Kaufman. What a pretentious hack. The fact that REM made that sappy, wistful song about him really puts the nail in the ol' poseur coffin. But I digress.

Quote:

Dr. Holey Sholy!

I'm sorry I couldn't call you immediately this weekend, but I haven't been able to check my computer this weekend. You see, I have been very distraught over the recent breakup of Martin Sheen and Denise Richards. Can you believe that cad left her while she was pregnant? If their love can't last, then what chance do the rest of us have?

Back to the matter at hand: can you please explain why I have to go to Canada all of a sudden? This is a most unexpected turn of events. Canada is not close, Father Doctor. In fact, it is quite a drive away. Although I do find Tom Green and Kids In The Hall to be very funny, I'm still not so sure why I need to go to Canada. If you would be so kind as to fill out the security form question that you muffed and scan it back to me, I think we can get this transaction off the ground. Besides, the last time I was in Canada was for a hunting trip. During that trip, I ate a lot of bald beavers and shaved beavers, both of which are on the endangered species list. Long story short, the Canadian Fish and Wildlife Ministry has a warrant out for me since I owe about $1000 in fines for my beaver-eating. But what can I say? I had the fever for the flavor of a beaver! Even when wet, eating shaved beavers really muffs the Canadian park rangers.

If I did go to Canada, would I have to send you the money in US Dollars or Canadian dollars? What do they use for money in Nigeria anyway? I could send you some shiny beads if they have monetary value.

Please let me know soonest! Warm blessings of my seasoning!
Matt Foley

All this international intruige is making me thirsty. I'm going to get a Coke while I wait breathlessly for the Father Doctor's illuminating retort.

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:35 pm

I didn't have to wait long.

Quote:

Dear My brother Matthew,

I am not happy that i got your email very late but i forgive you hence you have rendered an apologies.

GOD REVEALED THAT YOU SHOULD GO TO CANADA IMMEDIATELY TO MAKE THE PAYMENT IN US DOLLARS ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T WORK WITH UNBELIEVERS.

You are not going to Canada to visit any body or lodging in a hotel but just to western union office and do the payment and must be in US Dollars.

The Receiver is: Mr Iwezor Kenneth Chibuzor.

that is the accounting officer you will pay in his name.

I am waiting to hearing good from you as you send the payment information asap.
God Bless you real good,
Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 3:16 pm

After that missive, I guess Dr. Hole is determined to make my life more convenient.

Quote:

Dear brother Matt.

Well, due to the fact that Canada is not close to you as you said and i will not like a situation where you will find it difficult to travel there and spend more money on transportation before doing the payment but i decided to reprint the western union form and gave to the Accounting Officer to re-fill out with His details and all is done as attached below.

So kindly print it out as well to the western union to conclude your payments there in America today and get all information and now there is nothing to complain about because i went through all the forms.

May God Almighty bless real you and your family.

Rev.Dr. Shola Kadiri.

Dr. Hole has brought up some vexing theological questions with his last two mails.

Quote:

Dr. Holey

I would happily take this form to Western Onion like you say, but please tell me what to do. You see, you said in one of your last emails that God told you that I should go to Canada, despite my prior history with beavers there. Now you tell me not to go to Canada. Who's right, Father Doctor Sshole? YOU OR GOD??

Matt Foley

Quote:

Dear brother Matt Foley,
Oh yes, take the forms to the western union there in USA, OUR GOD FORGIVES SIN WITH LOVE as i looked at your history with beavers there and i want you to understand that Bible made us to know that all have sinned and fall short to the glory of God.

But sincere prayer is let us live about sin and sin no more. God is very much right as i have no authority to question His decision but will only pray for forgiveness of sin.Take the forms to western union to conclude your payment there in America today and get all information and now there is nothing to complain of, but if you are not bouyant to finalise the transaction there in USA to enable us get the authority and power in modalising/ remitting the fund into your account as the Board of Directors here in Union Bank are waiting for your action and full co-operation in bringing the transaction to final conclussion, then I will withdraw my personal interest and stress that i have been passing through both for prayers and morally as i can now see that you are doubting my words.

I bring to your final notice that this is your transaction but not my business as God healed you, i am happily thankful for His miracles that turn around at the good time.
May God Almighty forgive us with love.

Rev.Dr. Shola Kadiri.

God may have forgiven him, but I haven't. Watch the comedy ensue as I "disappear" for a few days. I've actually been pretty busy lately, and my African fortune hasn't exactly been my A-number-1 priority. Shame on me.

Quote:

Dear brother matthew,
I waited for your email but was null and i want to know the followings from you.

1. Why do you find it difficult to reply my email that same day and this takes you two / three days before respond?

2. What is your age and profession?

We look forward to receiving the western union payment information from you.

May God keep you healthy,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

I get an intelligible voice mail (for a change) for Dr. Hole. He admonishs me for not calling him right away or emailing him. He further repeats (verbatim) "This is Dr. Shola Kadiri on the line! Dr Shola Kadiri! I will wait for your call now! Goodbye!" Its pretty funny stuff. Needless to say, after that, I really turn the "ignore" dial up to 10.

Quote:

DEAR MY BROTHER MATT,
HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR HEALTH TODAY? I DO HOPE YOU ARE FEELING REAL GOOD THIS TIME AS GOD IS BY YOUR SIDE.

I AM VERY MUCH CONCERNED THAT YOU HARDLY REPLY MY EMAIL
PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE BE HEALTHY AND STRONG LET US GET TO THE FINAL CONCLUSSION OF YOUR TRANSACTION.
I AM WAITING FOR YOUR EMAIL NOW OK!!!!!!!!

WAITING FOR YOU AND GOD BLESS.
REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI

Not just in all caps, but bold as well. How considerate!

Quote:

Dr. Shola Hola!

Wow! You're sure in some kind of hurry there, aren't you? Well, to answer your questions, yes my health is excellent. I spent a few days praying for your soul in Las Vegas of all places! It was fantastic! I was attending a multi-day conference; it was the Slyvia Plath Motovational Speakers Series. Maybe you've heard of it? Anton LeVay spoke on "Winning with Sinning" and Marilyn Manson gave a speech called "Embraced by the Darkness". It was attended by lots of people from Amway and Scientology. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go out now and sell, sell, SELL!!!

I must thank you for putting your last email in all capital letters AND putting it all in boldface type! That really got my attention and let me know how serious you really are about this transaction. I shall issue forth either today or tomorrow and send you the $1700 you asked for via Western Onion to your friend in Chad. Together, God has given us the strength to see this transaction to a final success! Do you think that God has forgiven you for lying to me about sending me to Canada? Remember, lies make baby Jesus cry!

Love,
Matt Foley

I wonder if he will notice that I have dropped his already crazy-low prices down to $1700? We shall see!

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 1:54 pm

God revealed that you should go to Canada? Wow. Idunno, man, if that's the promised land you'd do better to just stick to your porn empire in the good old US of A...

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:25 pm

Just call me the necromancer, baby... cause this bait be back from the dead!

Quote:

DEAR MY BROTHER MATT.
I REALLY WELCOME YOU AND ALSO THANK GOD FOR THE SUCCESS OF THE CONFERENCE YOUR ATTENDED.

I MUST TO THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR THE ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION IN GETTING THE TRANSACTION TO THE FINAL CONCLUSSION.

GOD WILL SURELY REWARD YOU ABONDANTLY.
REV.DR. SHOLA KADIRI

Quote:

Dear bro. Matt Foley,

Please make the payment through the Accounting Officer Mr. Iwezor Kenneth Chibuzor, do it and he will issue you receipt of your payment immediately and in the meantime you will have the control of your fund as all the relevant documents are avaliable in their ministries/offices concerned to be obtained.

PLEASE PAY THE MONEY TO:

MR. IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR

HEAD OF ACCOUNT (HOA)

17-19, ALLEN AVENUE

IKEJA LAGOS

However, you are advise to send the following payment/slip information as follows:

NAME OF THE SENDER:.........................................................

SENDER'S ADDRESS:............................................................

NAME OF THE RECEIVER:.........................................................

AMOUNT PAID IN:........................................................................

MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL CODE (MCTN) 10 DIGITS...............

TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER:.................................................

Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

I am here also praying for you.

God bless,

Rev. Dr. Shola Kadiri

That last one was sent on 5/3. Today is 6/22. I was cleaning out old messages and first time virgins on video spam when I thought, "what the hell... lets poke a stick in Dr. Asshola and see if he is still breathing." Amazingly enough, after nearly 2 months of being totally ignored, this bait is back with a vengance! I had really forgotten how much fun this sanctimonious fuckhead really was. Its time to reignite an old flame.

Quote:

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 10:27:50 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Matt Foley"
Subject: Re: WIRE
To: "Dr. Shola Kadiri" <[email protected]>

Blessings of the season, Dr. Hole! I am back from my backpacking expidition by llama in the Andes mountains! Are you still needing payment?

Thanks,

Matt Foley

Its like I never left.

Quote:

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 12:33:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Dr. Shola Kadiri" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: WIRE
To: "Matt Foley"

DEAR MY BROTHER MATT.
I REALLY WELCOME YOU AND ALSO THANK GOD FOR THE SUCCESS.

I MUST TO THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR THE ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION IN GETTING THE TRANSACTION TO THE FINAL CONCLUSSION AS YOU CAN NOW MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MR IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR .

I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR PAYMENT INFORMATION TODAY.

GOD WILL SURELY REWARD YOU ABONDANTLY.
REV.DR. SHOLA KADIRI

Just like before, Dr. Shola still has a problem with premature WU ejaculation.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 07:42:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Dr. Shola Kadiri" <[email protected]>
Subject: WHY ARE YOU STILL DELAYING?
To: "Matt Foley"

DEAR BRO. MATT,
WE ALL BELIEVED THAT DEVIL IS A LIER AND HE CANNOT NEVER NEVER SUCCEED IN US THIS TODAY, PLEASE JUST SAY YES AND GO RIGHT NOW TO THE BANK AND HAVE EVERYTHING CONCLUDED AS YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT POSITION TO INSTRUCT THE BANKER TO WIRE THE FUNDS FOR GOD SAKE TIME IS NO LONGER ON YOUR SIDE OK!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE NOT THAT HAPPY THAT THINGS COULD BE DELAYED UP TILL THIS TIME I MIGHT HAVE PROMISE TO ASSIST YOU IN RESPECT OF HANDLING ALL NECESSARY RENEWAL AND ISSUANCE OF THE DOCUMENTATIONS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SUBMITTED TO THE MINISTRIES IN ABUJA THE FEDERAL CAPITAL WHERE ALL AUTHORITY AND POWER TO EFFECT THE RELEASE OF THE $28.5MILLION US DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS NEXT OF KIN BENEFITS AS SOON AS YOU COMPLY IN SENDING THE CHARGES $6500 US DOLLARS THROUGH THE WESTERN UNION IMMEDIATELY.

PLEASE MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH THE ACCOUNTANT> MR IWEZOR KENNETH CHIBUZOR.

WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE PAYMENT DETAILS TODAY.

BE BLESSED,
REV. DR. SHOLA KADIRI.

Just because we spent so much time apart does not mean that I'm about to be his groveling bitch.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 10:06:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Matt Foley"
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL?
To: "Dr. Shola Kadiri" <[email protected]>

Jesus H Christ, Dr Hole! What the flying fuck is your goddamned problem? I just got back into town yesterday, and you send me this shit? Your not one of those "men of God" who bugger little boys are you? I've read about people that like in People magazine, and that is just gross.

You better fucking apologize to me for your tone of voice, douche nozzle.

Matt Foley

The hilarity continues! Laughing

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