Henry Charles and his identity crisis

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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:47 pm

One of my sillier baits, since the lad was a bit of a thickie. With not many resources in his scam kit.

I got his email from elsewhere, so I don't have his approach letter.

I give him my usual feeling you out message.

Quote:

My phone number is 206-343-0011. I don't currently have a fax, but if I need one, I'll get it.

Hannah

He finds my phone doesn't "go". I get visions of the Nudge, Nudge sketch from Monty Python.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
How are you today?
I have tried severally to reach you on phone,but your phone wouldn't just go.
Please could you advise me or your workable phone number so i can reach you directly.
My telephone number is 234-1-7759468.You can as well reach me so that we can talk more on this transaction.
Regards.
Barr.Robert Mcclure.

Well, jeepers, Henry, it tells you to deposit another quarter or summat, but it works... Hey! Wait a minute! Why are you suddenly Rober Mcclure?

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
> How are you today?
> I have tried severally to reach you on phone,but your phone wouldn't just
go.

My phone's been working fine. Got a call from Australia, today, in fact.

> Please could you advise me or your workable phone number so i can reach you
directly.

The one I gave you is the only contact number for me. I have one of those
unified messaging plans, and I can forward the calls to any phone I desire,
mobile, office, or home.

> My telephone number is 234-1-7759468.You can as well reach me so that we can
talk more on this transaction.
> Regards.
> Barr.Robert Mcclure.

I'm reluctant to call until you explain whey you are using Esq. Henry Charles's
email, yet signing yourself "Barrister Robert Mcclure".

Hannah

His explanation is smooth. Not.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,

Barrister Robert Mcclure is a junior partner.I gave him instructions to pass on the message to you of my inability to reach you on phone.

Anyway,by monday i will submit an application of claim on your behalf to the bank.I will send you copy via attachment for your observation.

After that the bank will contact you and advise you on payment procedures.

I will however try to call you but if you can,call me please.

Regards.

Yours in service,

Barr.Henry Charles.

We were poor in the law firm. Could only afford one email address for all of us...

Hey, he manages to remember who he is, this time.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
Asi told you last week in my last mail ,i have submitted the application of claim of the fund on your behalf to the bank this morning.
I attach a copy for you to see.The bank will now contact you regarding the remittance procedures.When they do,please let me know so that i can follow it up from there.
I am waiting for a confirmation of receipt.
Barr.Henry Charles.

And I get an attachment. Dude! I love attachments!

Let's play spot the mistakes!

I'm not a sir. The client isn't referred to as the client, even when it says he will be. The seal is all wrong. And Mr. Jack lost his "nucleus" family.

I've had enough of this incompetence. I really let fly.

Quote:

>
> Dear Hannah,
>
> Barrister Robert Mcclure is a junior partner.I gave him instructions to pass
on the message to you of my inability to reach you on phone.
>

Don't be just handing me off to some junior partner without warning me. And
second, why the hell did you have him using your own personal email account?
Does he not have his own, where he could have said he was emailing on your
behalf? That looks very sloppy, you letting him use your email account.

Hannah

I love lad apologies.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
I understand how you feel about the idea of my junior attorney reaching you from my email box.I want to let you understand that there is nothing sloppy about it as you put it.
This is because,i being the principal attorney, most atimes iam out of my station.That particular email address where my attorney reached you from is more or less general to the other partners in the chambers.
Please,i am truly sorry if that puts you off.Next time,i won't be delegating such duties to any junior attorney.Accept my apologies on this.
However,have you received a copy of the application filed on your behalf to the bank?Please acknowledge receipt.
Moreso,i want to know if the bank has contacted you yet in respect to the application of claim filed.
Do accept my honest apologies while i await a timely response.
Regards.
Barrister Henry Charles.

Let's play confuse the lad.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
> I understand how you feel about the idea of my junior attorney reaching >you
from my email box.I want to let you understand that there is nothing >sloppy
about it as you put it.

Nothing sloppy? If I write to an address which has your personal name on it, I
expect it to be an address where I reach you and you only. It's tacky enough
that you're using a Yahoo address, much less that you let any old junior
partner have the password to your mail and answer people who are corresponding
to YOU and YOU only. How would you like it if I invited the janitor in to read
your mails to me? Maybe I should also invite the neighbors over to look at
your letters as well?

> This is because,i being the principal attorney, most atimes iam out of my
station.That particular email address where my attorney reached you from is
more or less general to the other partners in the chambers.
> Please,i am truly sorry if that puts you off.Next time,i won't be delegating
such duties to any junior attorney.Accept my apologies on this.
> However,have you received a copy of the application filed on your behalf to
the bank?Please acknowledge receipt.
> Moreso,i want to know if the bank has contacted you yet in respect to the
application of claim filed.
> Do accept my honest apologies while i await a timely response.
> Regards.
> Barrister Henry Charles.
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?

Speaking of that application, you have a very large and glaring error on that
application. Please correct it and refile. Also, it would be very helpful if
instead of just saying "the bank", you would actually state the name of the
bank and possibly, the person who will be contacting me. Or do you just send
the application to a general address and not directed to a particular someone?
As far as I know, the bank hasn't been in touch, but considering the state of
that application, I'm not suprised. With such a big contradiction staring them
in the face, I doubt they would process it. I don't think I would, if I were
sent a document that had a mistake that big on it.

Hannah

Nope. Not a clue what I'm on about.

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
Thanks for your mail.
The application has no error whatsoever because,it was attentioned to the manager,Mercantile Trust Bank Plc,Lagos.
it is now left for the bank to direct it to the proper department.The contents of the application is very clear.It talks about an inheritted payment valued at $15.5m on a deceased account.Therefore,the bank should know the proper department to channel it to.
I was at the bank this morning and they complained actually of not receiving your banking details and that is why they could not contact you on time,because they are supposed to feed their computer system about your details.
So,please send your banking information to me,so that i would forward same to the bank.Thereafter,they will write you officially.
I think you have not been following up this process the way you should.
I await your response.
Barr.Henry Charles.

Hee! I decide to be a stickler and see if I can force him to redo his forms.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
> Thanks for your mail.
> The application has no error whatsoever

Take a real close look Henry. Look at what your letterhead says. Now look at
what that stamp says. See the problem? I'm not a lawyer, Henry, but I can
read.

Please answer my question to my satisfaction. Then I'll send you my banking
details.

Hannah

He's a bit of a smart-arse. Bad lad! No biscuit!

Quote:

Dear Hannah,
I have told you this before that I and Robert Mcclure are partners,though junior to me.
Take it or leave it.
Henry Charles.

Fine, die for your incompetence, lad! He's a bit of a thick one, so I think there's not too much risk in pointing out the obvious to him.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah,
> I have told you this before that I and Robert Mcclure are partners,though
junior to me.
> Take it or leave it.
> Henry Charles.

I'll leave it then. I checked with a lawyer. NO LEGITIMATE LAW FIRM HAS
LETTERHEAD THAT READS AS THOUGH THE NANE OF THE FIRM IS HENRY CHARLES AND
ASSOCIATES AND STAMPS THAT READ ROBERT MCCLURE AND ASOCIATES. That would be
like McDonald sending out a letter on McDonalds letterhead, then stamping it
with a seal that reads "Hardees".

You're a fraud. And a very poor one, at that, if you don't even know the
basics of lawfirm procedure.

Hannah

No spirit in him. Not even a death threat or angry reply. Maybe he forgot who he was this morning.

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