A New Convert to the TWAT Church? - Brother Led

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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:24 am

After reading the stories of Mr L and Big X's Archie, Birlic's Rev Ezze, I decided to give this church baiting thing a try myself. I pulled out the good ol' TWAT format, and luckily, found an idiot who might be interested

and so we begin...

Our idiot sends out your standard lad script (blah blah consignment box for you to pick up)

Our lovely responds:

Quote:

Dearest Brother in Christ,
Hello, but I am not aware of the money you talk about in this email. I believe you have contacted the wrong person. TWAT Ideals teach us we are not to take what is not rightfully ours.

Even if so, I am sorry but our church has more than enough money...so much that we are literally looking to give it away to others who are willing to become members and perhaps even start there own branch of TWAT. If you are interested, please let me know.
Best wishes

Glory to the Church of TWAT!

Our mugu:

Quote:

Dearest in the LORD,

I am quite obliged to receive your message and its contents well understood.
Just as you can see the Almighty works in mysterious way for you to be the chosen person to help and accomplish this glorious assignment.

The said fun is for charity work that was left behind by my client to a GOD fearing person and to GOD be the glory you are the person.

I will like to intimate you more on the purpose of this charitable work because before the death of my client she left the sum of 55 million us dollars in the finance ministry that she wanted to use for charity work through the assistance of a foreign partner because in her WILL she had no children and her husband died in a car accident some years ago and how she and her husband became rich was through the help of somebody they met on the internet that assisted them with the money they used to established themselves and became wealthy,so through this same means they wanted to also help somebody just the way they where help ,so this is where you came in HALLELUYAH !!
You shall have 40 percent,i will have 30 percent,while 30 percent goes to charity out of this transaction.

In order to further, you will have to send the following information below to enable me process the vital legal document to enable the bank change the ownership in

your name as the new beneficiary and transfer to your bank account :-

Your full name as stated in your international passport

Your age and occupation

Your mobile telephone number/Fax

Your country and house address

Your identification

As soon as those information mentioned above are provided, I will swing into action and put everything in order to finalize within 14 working days.

I must at this juncture state clearly that i need your 100 percent co-operation, trust and above all GODS speed in order for us to achieve these purpose.

Remain Blessed and be a Blessing.

Anita:

Quote:

Dearest Brother in Christ,
Hello. I am sorry but our church has more than enough money...so much that we are literally looking to give it away to others who are willing to become members and perhaps even start there own branch of TWAT. If you are interested, please let me know.

- Anita

Our mugu who is still trying to run his stupid scam:

Quote:

Hello dearest in the Lord,

I received your mail in good faith and decided to write you.

I am willing to become your church member but I need your assistance to transfer this fund.

Just like you said money is not of great importance but I'm into charity work which I believe you can be of great assistance order to achieve our goals.

I don't think there is TWAT church in this part of the country of which I will definitely want us to have the church here but before it can manifest I will like to accomplish the WILL of my late client (blessed memory).

You are the person that can help with this transaction in order to actualise our dreams. All you need to do is receive the funds and I'll come over to your country meet you one on one and finalise how we can start the TWAT church in my country.

I want you to be an instrument in the propagation of GOD'S work in this part of the world.

Let me have your thoughts so I can start with the documentation of this transaction.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

Anita:

Quote:

Dear Brother in Christ,
I got your email, sorry, I was extremely busy with matters of the church.

Unfortunately, we are unable to help you. Our church states that we can only do business with other members. If you were a member that would be one thing but since you are not, there is nothing that I or anyone can do here. Sorry about that.
If you really wanted to become a member, there may be a great many opportunities to do something together, including helping you with your affairs.
Recently, our church was all set to begin an expansion into West Africa, Nigeria to be exact. A member of only one month had promised to help us start a new congregation in Lagos. He had completed all of the necessary steps to begin and was about to receive an initial $200,000.00 to get started. Then, without warning, we never heard from him again. This was a great disappointment for us. If you wanted to take his place, we would be very eager to talk to you about that.
Let me know if this would be something that you would be interested in.
Best regards,
Anita

Mugu:

Quote:

Hello Beloved Anita,

I got your mail and the contents well understood.

If I must state here that your church can only assist it's members alone and members will have greater opportunities to do business together and even help with individual affairs.

Now what is it to become a member of TWAT church and start a congregation. As a matter of fact we have one of our head quarters in Lagos, Nigeria

Hope to hear from you soon

Regards

Anita:

Quote:

Hello,
Thank you for responding. I am going to CC who is the Membership Director for TWAT. He will answer all of your questions and guide you through the process. Just in case you don't see his email, his email address is [redacted]

Blessings and I do hope you one day do to join us and bask in the warm glow of the glorious church of TWAT,

- Anita

Mugu:

Quote:

Belove Anita,

I receive your mail in good faith and decided to write in line with your directives.

My mail to was short and pricise

Telling him how I can become a member.

Hope to hear from him and more fruitful relationship with you in future.

With time you'll get to know my name and many more about me.

Thanks for your nice gesture (you're certainly welcome, bastard)

Regards

Anita:

Quote:

Dear Brother in Christ,

I had already forward your email to but I am glad you took the initiative to contact him first, this should put you in a good light. The good reverend should have gotten into touch with you by now I'm assuming.

Anyways, best of luck on your journey to enlightenment. The process definitely will be a fulfilling one for you. Let the ideals of the glorious TWAT guide you and may you one day join our ranks! I look forward to seeing that day!

May the holy lord and savior bless you!

- Anita

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:31 am

True to his word, our idiot fires off his introduction to the good RBD!

Quote:

Compliments ,

I'm so obliged to have the opportunity of mailing you.

I got your email address from a member of your church sister

She instructed me to write you on the process of becoming a member of the church TWAT.

I would like to become a member.

So in your reply I would like you to furnish me with the necessary details of becoming a member of the church.

Looking forward to hear from you soon.

Regards.

RDB:

Quote:

Greetings!
God bless you my child of Christ! I was just about to email you on this matter, are you the one who wrote Sister Anita from [email protected]?

Anyways, my name is . Sister forwarded your email to me. I am the Director of Membership in charge of interviewing prospective members as well as guiding them along their journey. I am very pleased to be in touch with you and I am glad you decided to join The Watchtower Apocalyptic Testament! There are only a few steps needed to be taken to become a member of TWAT. I will outline them for you in the weeks to come.
Have you had a chance to visit our website? If not, I suggest you do to become acquainted with our church.

<snipped the website - bware419ers>

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon!

In the meantime, what is your name my child?

Best regards
- RBD

Mugu:

Quote:

Hello RBD,

It's nice to receive a mail from you.

Yes the email earlier is that of our office but I'm giving you my direct email id.

I have gone through your website and find the church quite interesting to fellowship with.

At this juncture I want to no the steps that will be taken to become a member of the church.

It will be a thing of joy to also work in the vineyard of the Lord.

Hopefully to hear from you soon.

Regards

Ed

As he emailed me with an email that says "Sunshine Led", I decide to call him as Brother Led

Quote:

Dearest Brother Led,

Before we proceed to the first step, I need direct confirmation from you.

Let me ask you directly my son... are you ready to learn the ways of the TWAT? Are you prepared and committed to take part in this journey that awaits you? Are you prepared committed to pass through the Stages of Faith in order to become a full member within our glorious church? The door to enlightenment has opened for you my child, and we will guide you along the way, but it must be you if you so choose to enter it. Are you ready my son?

If so, then I will prepare the First Stage of your TWAT membership. Please do get back to me.

He doesn't reply, so I poke him

Quote:

Dearest Brother Led

Am I to assume from your silence that you no longer wish to pursue membership in our church?

Just when I thought he had given up on the church, he suddenly responds

Quote:

Dearest RBD,

It gives me great joy to reply to your mail

With all the questions you asked in your mail I'm ready and willing to become a member of the church TWAT.

In your response please guide and state the first step of becoming a member of the church TWAT.

Thanks !!

Ed

I question him

Quote:

Dearest Brother Led

Surely you must give me an explanation for why you were silent for so long without ever informing me?

- RBD

Mugu, who seems eager :

Quote:

Dear RBD,
it's quite rude not to reply to mails received,im sorry for any inconveniences caused.

it was due to my illness i had malaria attack, that why I've not been able to reply my mail even at work. Thank God am better know

Without wasting time can you please state the first step and guidelines of me becoming a member of TWAT church.

Looking forward to hear from you.

Regards

RBD:

Quote:

Dearest Brother Led

I am glad that you are feeling better. Yes, we shall be beginning your application process right away!

First we ask that you are of Christian faith. Next we will ask you to fill out a short informational form for our records. I will have my secretary locate them to get you on your way toward full membership.

Once you are a full member of our glorious church, you will reap all of the rewards and blessings of a full member. I am just so exited to hear that you are ready to begin this wonderous journey toward enlightenment.

Thank you and God bless!
- RBD

Quote:

Dear Brother Led

Sorry for the late reply, but my secretary was busy. Here is the form I was talking about. Please follow the instructions and fill it in, it shouldn't take long. Ask me if you have questions.

- RBD

Junk 10 MB PDF file attached Wink

Mugu:

Quote:

Dear RBD,

I'm just seeing this mail and using this opportunity to inform you that I got your message and form

I'll get back to you soonest with the filled form.

Regards

Our lad returns after one day of silence. Uh oh, our lad seems to be having problems

Quote:

Dear RBD,

lt's quite unfortunate for me to inform you that the membership form you forwarded to my box, i have being finding it difficult to open for the past three days.

I can't believe that it has even crashed my system I'm replying you this mail from my iPhone (yeah right).

I don't know if you can find another way of resending it through another means so as for me to fill and. send back to you.

Or if there is another medium i can use in registering my membership with the church.

Sorry for any inconveniences this may cause but I'm still egar (good!) and willing to become a member of the church.

Looking forward to hear from you soonest.

Regards

I'm curious of course!

Quote:

What do you mean by it crashed your system?

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:13 am

Good luck! I will be watching this closely; if there's anything that Ezze has taught me, it's that church baiting has great potential for hilarity. When will the esteemed Reverend make an appearance?

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Looks promising!

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:54 am

@MrMystery314 I plan to get the idiot to fill out some forms first.

@Mr Labowski Thanks! Nice hearing from a Master

---------

The lad whines and complains about his troubles before remembering to apologize to me Laughing

Quote:

Dear RBD,

The attached file you forward to my mailbox I have been trying to open for my registration as a member but it can not open the system is finding it difficult to open

I don't know if you can send it in another format say word or scan copy for easier down loading,it will be so much appreciated

Sorry for any inconveniences

Looking forward to hear from you again

Regards

Quote:

The file keep saying it's of invalid format.

it's just so unfortunate

l can't open the attached document

At this point please assist

Thanks

RBD:

Quote:

You mentioned that the file crashed your system, can you elaborate on that?

Mugu:

Quote:

All am just trying to say here is that i think the file is large and my system is not able to open it i.e my system was not responding properly but it's corrected now

I still can't open the file

Is there any other way I can fill the form to become a member?

I'll be so glad with any assistance from you

Thanks

RBD

Quote:

Brother Led
The form I sent you is in pdf form, it is one of the most commonly used programs in the world.

What computer operating system do you use? Did you try updating/rebooting it?

More whining, answer my questions goddammit you moron!

Quote:

Dear RBD,

I'm mailing you to inform you that the pdf file you sent me to the best of my knowledge can't open.

First of all it can not preview,it can't download and finally it can't open.

I have used the main frame of our company system to try and open it but not responding.

Is there any other questions or enquiry you can ask me in order to become a member,or is there any other way around to becoming a member of the TWAT ?

Order wise, will becoming a member be a thing of the past?

Your assistance at this point will be well apriciated.

RBD:

Quote:

Brother Led
Filling in the form is an absolute must I'm afraid. Although I have no idea why your computer system can't handle a single pdf file, I will ask my secretary to convert the application form into a Word Document.

- RBD

Mugu:

Quote:

Dear RBD,

I'll be looking forward to hear from you

I appreciate your assistance to convert the application

Thanks

RBD

Quote:

Brother Led

Please find attached the membership form in WORD DOCX format. Please fill it in ASAP. Again, let me know if there are any questions or concerns.

Thanks
RBD

This time I send him a even larger file, 25 MB, the maximum size for a G-Mail attachment, let's see how he likes that Twisted Evil

No response from him yet again

Quote:

Dear Brother Led

Are you still having trouble with the membership form? Were you able to solve your technical issues?

- RBD

Quote:

Dear Brother Led

Your lack of response is troubling. Please bear in mind that you are the one delaying your membership process.

- RBD

Mugu:

Quote:

Dear RBD,

Im finding it impossible to find the attached file

no thanks,there are no file in this message not available

Please do all you can to assist thanks
Regards

RBD:

Quote:

Brother Led

I do not understand why you are experiencing such difficulties doing a simple task like opening a computer file. I will attach it for you down here again.

Junk 25MB Word Doc

RBD

Mugu:

Quote:

Dear RBD.

I saw your mail and quite happy about it.

To many work load on me but will get to you ASAP (yeah right, I emailed him posing as a mugu and he responded just fine)

Thanks for understanding
Regards

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:00 am

Good start, but I offer a bit of advice. Be very careful with what you post here. Lads do search and when you use full names, website links, etc., it is very easy to get rumbled just when you think a pyramid is about to be erected.

I learned long ago that no matter how funny/punny I found a name, it was better to just post the first name (or change it completely for posting purposes).

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:20 am

@bware I only get results for LED printers when I search his name up, but I'll keep that in mind, thanks

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 2:54 am

I too will be watching and can't wait to see how it unfolds/turns out.
Under the guidance and assistance of Birlic I am engaged in my first church bait. Learning quite a bit. These things end up being nothing short of hilarious

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:25 am

Definitely looks like you could get some mileage from this lad. I'll be following your bait with interest.

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:12 pm

@SBC @Big X Thanks to you both

It's frustrating as this idiot is very lazy and never keeps me updated on anything, and he sometimes goes on long periods of silence without ever informing me. I'm also baiting him as a regular mugu and he's silent with me on that other character as well. Hopefully it's because he runs out of cafe money every one in a while.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3876

in the Ezze-thread, we have just altered most of the names, some times by adding or deleting letters. the lad can't find that.

and my quotes are all done this way:

Code:

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and if you need a reliable transportation company, matt is available, when they release him from hospital Wink

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