Lad offers "HOLY HAND JOB" in Jesus' name, no less

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 8:43 pm

I'm straight baiting a lad using a variant of the "Help me get a box of money out of this country" scam. My rather uneducated character looked ready to buy in, but suddenly became doubtful when the lad hinted that his "diplomatic courier" couldn't be trusted. Why hire a diplomatic courier to deliver stuff if you can't trust him not to run off with the package if he knows it's got money inside?

Me to lad:

Quote:

It is crazy that your delivery agent is so dishonest that if he knew the consignment has money in it he wiyld steal it. What kind of peopke use such dishonest delivery men?

I don’t velieve you know what you are doung. Hospital equipment is expensive. If Your delivery agent is a thief who will run away with money instead of delivering it, then sych a thief also would steal medical supplies.

You do not make sense.

Up until now he kept on script. I was happy to see this reply not only jumped off, but also demonstrated that this guy is not a quick or deep thinker. His English seems a bit less than par, even for a 419er.

Lad to me:

Quote:

He is very honest man not a thief is not going to steal it but he do not know what is the content inside. Madam what I mean is that he will go way with money mistaking to delivery wrongly to somebody without you not providing your identity for he to know whom to delivery to. [Oh, well that explains it.]

You have to believe me madam, [Of course, I have to!] why I recorded the deposit with a HOSPITAL EQUIPMENT so that the security agent in country will not know that the content is money is only you and I know is money in (cash). The year is go an end so this consignment have to move to you this week.
...
Sir, finally my share will be 50% for investment of the total amount for collecting and keeping till my arrival Kindly keep this as top secret, it is also risk free and 5% will be your expenses
You will be rewarded with 20% of the total sum as your fee for your role in the successful conclusion of the transaction. [And that accounts for the full total sum ... of 75% ]

I'm pretty sure this guy will jump at anything that will save his scam.

My character is nearly convinced, but something about it feels off. Perhaps with better assurance...

Me to Lad:

Quote:

I don’t know, sir. This seems strange to me.

I wish I could see how you shake hands when doing business. My daddy used to say: A liar offers only his mouth. A truther offers his hand.

I need to know if this job is true. Are you offering me a true hand job? If you can assure me, then swear to it by whatever you find holy. Offer me a truly holy hand job.

I await your response.

His panicked "I can still save this" reply is utterly off script.
Lad to me:

Quote:

I hope you are doing well overseer in good condition of health and your family. Madam like say here this is 100% risks sure. I wish very soon you will meet one on one to shake hands as I arrival your country with my family to be as good family. You daddy is a great man of his words I will like to meet with him in good faith but is real a liar offers only his mouth. But truths offers will say something and will be like that as he says it. Yes this job is true. Am offering you a true hand job for real madam I am a man of trust and honest man too? am assuring you I swear with my living GOD I SERVE BY WHATEVER FIND HOLY IN JESUS NAME I PRAY.THIS IS TRULY HOLY HAND JOB I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU MADAM IF ONLY YOU WILL FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION AS I SAID TO GUARD YOU WITH GOOD FAITH BECAUSE I BELIEVER IN GOD I TRUST.

Note: please make sure you keep strong and act to my instruction also keep secret, the U.S Special Finance Consultant Agent have make arrangement this week to meet with you in your home country on his arrival he will call to tell the next thing you have to do to enable he released the consignment to you madam.

Keep the required $17,870,00 ready as will arrange is the only free you have to pay in your country.

Please Co-operate with me and help it with all the Necessary power the lord Almighty was giving to you I will be waiting for a standing reply back from you, my regards to your family and friends around you in America stay blessed and be touched by the Lord Amen.

I urgently wait for your confirmation that you are very much ready to receive the consignment through this process. Thanks for your understanding and your cooperation.

Thanks

May God be with you and your family?

My Warm Regards,

He's confused the amount he's trying to scam from me with the amount he's "offering." He starts using randomly capitalized words and even more unintelligible run-on sentences than before. When he breaks into THE ALL CAPS OF TRUTH MODE to demonstrate his utter sincerity, I marvel at his sig line potential. I suspect that this bait is about to get very entertaining.

Here is my latest reply. I figure he will feel very good about writing so convincing a letter.
Me to lad:

Quote:

I do believe you. You have offered me a truly holy hand job, and so I will accept.

How should I position myself to receive? With anticipation I await your intimating to me this process.

Truly yours,

And that's the interesting stuff so far. Hopefully he will keep his level of enthusiasm.

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 9:46 pm

That is hilarious. Love it.

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:02 pm

The "holy hand job" statement is totally sig-worthy (just be sure to count to three before adding it)! Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 1:45 am

HOLY HAND JOB

Do not Google that term. Shocked

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 1:57 am

Great job on the bait! We need a video of him giving you a "holy hand job;" ideally, it would not be too vulgar, but who knows.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

That is sure to become a classic line!

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:13 am

bware419ers wrote:

HOLY HAND JOB

Do not Google that term. Shocked

Holy Lamb, I just make this regretable mistake! Laughing

Hilarious bait, I love it!

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:55 am

Quote:

Sir, finally my share will be 50% for investment of the total amount for collecting and keeping till my arrival Kindly keep this as top secret, it is also risk free and 5% will be your expenses
You will be rewarded with 20% of the total sum as your fee for your role in the successful conclusion of the transaction. [And that accounts for the full total sum ... of 75% ]

ummm I'm crap at maths but 50% and 75%???

Maybe its more percent if its a holy hand job! LMAO

great job long may this continue to entertain!

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:43 am

Quote:

liar offers only his mouth

HOLY HAND JOB

I'm a bit torn here, is he talking about blowjobs and handjobs?

Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:07 am

Can you quote, or get the lad to quote, Armaments 3:9-27 (or is it 9:3-27)?

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 16 Apr 2017 Posts: 81

"And thine enemies being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it"

Lad offers "HOLY HAND JOB" in Jesus' name, no less	View next topic View previous topic