Lad returns after 4 1/2 years

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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:14 pm

I first picked this lad up near the end of 2010 and ran him through to March 2013. He was incredible slow to write back and perform tasks. It took forever to get stuff out of him and he'd vanish for a month or two at a time, making me think he'd given up, only for him to show up again with another set of photos.

Here he is in Feb 2013:

In 2013 he vanished and I never heard from him again, until last when sent a note to the church's admin address:

Quote:

Hello, good day, the church
I am the senior pastor of church delta state branch Nigeria.
I have done my baptism and cock membership as the pastor of the church,
Since i founded the branch of the church no financial help has been giving to us,
Please on behalf of myself as the pastor and the entire member ask with due respect for fund for church building, fund for church bus to carry members, and fund to help the less privilege and many more.
I also forwarded my previous conversation message between me and deacon Douglas for some years now,
From the message you can also see my baptism photos and cock member as well as a member of the church delta state branch Nigeria.
Please we need financial help of fund to build the church,
I wait for your vital reply, thanks.
Regard,
your in christ,
pastor onos
church delta state branch Nigeria.

After a brief exchange I switched to a character from the church's internal security service and sent him the "Individual Verification Form" to prove his identity:

Quote:

Good day Pastor,

Your letters have been forwarded to me by the COCK World HQ Administration Office for authentication.

As it has been some time since you have been in contact with COCK, it has fallen to the Client Level Investigation Team to verify your identity before any official communication can take place between us. This is for the protection of both you and COCK.

We have, on file, the visual and biographical information that the real Onos gave to us when we were last in contact. To verify that you are who you say you are, you will need to complete the attached Identity Verification Form and return it to me as soon as possible. If you are indeed Onos then you will be aware of how seriously we take incorrectly completed forms.

Once your identity has been confirmed by this office, you will be directed to the appropriate COCK department.

Four days later:

Quote:

Dear Pastor,

As I have not heard from you since requesting you verify your identity, I can only assume that you are not who you claim to be.

And then today:

Quote:

Hello, good day, Deacon.
Yes the reasons why i have not reply you for the few days now is that i have to study the application very well to avoid mistake during the process, but anyway i have study the application very well and i just send to you now.

Attached to this email message is the application filled application and security procedure photos attached,

Please i wait for your positive reply thanks.
Regards,
pastor onos,

True to form, he did mess up. He only sent one copy of each photo instead of five.

Edited number of pics in a row to prevent forum blowout - bware419ers

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:20 pm

Muhahaha!
Fantastic job, very well done! Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:19 am

Your lad is a perfect example of why we do not burn lads.

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:54 pm

You have to love a lad that says, "Thank you Lordco, may I have another?"

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:56 pm

Absolutely brilliant baiting!!

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 9:59 pm

Thanks all!

As I mentioned before, the lad messed up on the photos and only sent one of each. My forms always require anywhere from 4 to 10 (this lad was to send 5 of each) so I can have a good pool to draw from in the future for making other forms or for "satisfied customer" images on the church website.

The Deacon tells the lad about the problem:

Quote:

Good day Pastor,

I have received your IVF and photographs, but for the care you have taken, you have made a mistake. The security procedure pages clearly ask for 5 photographs of each security phrase taken from different angles. We need this so that our computer's facial recognition algorithm can properly compare the photographs you sent to those that we have on file. This is especially important in your situation because you have aged since the last photos we have on record for you. We need the extra 4 photos of each security phrase to complete the process, so I hope that you saved those placards!

Have whoever was taking the photos for you to take the pictures from different angles, in different locations so that we can have different lighting and background contrasts for the computer. You should also take the effort to smile in some of them so the computer can accurately read your facial muscle structure.

You did do an excellent job on what you submitted so far and I know you'll do an excellent job completing the form as directed.

God bless,

and the lad replies simply:

Quote:

ok

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:57 am

Wow. This one is definitely a keeper.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Jan 2015 Posts: 14

srichards wrote:

. . . . . . definitely a keeper.

He's been a keeper since 2010.

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:16 pm

He's slow, but he gets there. The other 20 pics arrived this morning. Unfortunately they're all too small (640x480), so I'm trying to get him to send larger copies.

As for the "Do Ron Ron" thing, I'm trying to get this lad and a few others that I have on the hook to eventually card the entire song.

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:36 pm

In the sacred name of Holy Lamb, amen!
Hallelujah! Laughing

PS: Very well done, congratulations! clapping

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:38 am

Quote:

Seth Macfarlane is the new Gene Roddenberry

I so agree!!!

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:10 pm

Thank you

Lad sent the proper size pics overnight. But... he simply resized the 480x640s to the size I asked for instead of sending the original pics from his phone.

After all these years it still boggles my mind that some lads will seem to intentionally do things the hard way even when it's (to appearances) in his best interest to do things the easy way.

Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 11:23 am

Bravo.

Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:44 pm

Amazing work. My four year anniversary with Edwin Mensah is coming up. I only had 14 months of consistently engaged activity but he always comes back for more punishment after disappearing. He's particularly responsive around the holidays Smile

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