A right pair of cocks...

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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:35 am

Over the past few days, two different baits have chanced to include names ending with "cock".

First there's Dr Koliadina of the IMF, who not only has a woman's first name, but also a very unusual ID (it rewards close inspection).

He was somehow continuing a Dead Bank Customer script from last year, and began thus:

Quote:

This is to officially notify you that this office have intercepted your funds that some group persons including Your so called attorney Brian Sander.
want to DIVERT to another bank account in LEBANON. did you authorized them to DIVERT your funds?
As the WORLD financial governing BODY when we discovered that the funds did not belongs to them we STOPPED the transfer and deceived to contact you and inform you about this development.
We shall direct you on what next to do for the immediate transfer of this your funds USD6.9Million to your nominated bank account as soon as you reply this message.

He attached the ID above, which of course Mal chastised him for, and thereafter followed Mal's misgivings about the original script, how the IMF could hold back the IRS, and so on, until Mal reluctantly agreed to send the required fees, but not by Moneygram, after a disagreement over a notarised memorandum that Mal wanted and Dr. K wouldn't send. So the Lad stumped up a bank account for a Mrs Alcock in Manchester; and come Monday 25 September, Mal went to the bank, and I waited for the demand to send the "payment slip" once I wrote that I'd paid the money. Totally against type, there's been no such demand, and the last word from Dr K was:

Quote:

IMF WISH TO NOTIFY YOU THAT THE FEE YOU PAID TO THE MINISTRIES FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR TRANSFER DOCUMENTS HAVE NOT YET ARRIVED INTO THE BANK ACCOUNT OF MRS ALCOCK THE MINISTRY GAVE TO YOU.
KINDLY FIND OUT FROM YOUR BANK WHY THE FEE YOU PAID HAVE NOT ARRIVED IN THE ACCOUNT, BECAUSE THE MINISTRY SAID THEY CAN ONLY RELEASE YOUR TRANSFER APPROVED DOCUMENTS TO IMF ON RECEIPT OF THE FEE YOU PAID IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT.
THE MINISTRY TOLD OUR DIRECTOR TO COME BACK TOMORROW AND COLLECT YOUR DOCUMENTS MAY BE THE FEE YOU PAID WILL ARRIVE INTO THE BANK ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW BECAUSE THEY DID NOT RECEIVE THE FEE YET TODAY.

I await his next email.

Meanwhile, Cammy received this on Saturday:

Quote:

Dear Beneficiary,
We had a network glitching hence why I am writing you by this medium base on your recovery batch.
Following the recovering of part of your funds by Global Wealth Management, United Kingdom through our International Auditors working on International Claims associated to Asia, West Africa ,Europe and America ,please note that there an urgent need to MONETIZE the recovered fund in order to initiate instant swift by the bank in Ireland.
As the representative of Global Wealth Management, I have gone to Ireland to ensure that this recovered fund is paid in full or in part to the beneficiary's account after you have MONETIZED your recovered fund which we shall submitted on your behalf to the bank. Apart from this monetizing fees deposit, I also need your new account ,full address and any valid copy of your id. This is to ensure that we are not dealing with the wrong person to avoid paying to the wrong person.
As soon as I get this confirmation from you, I shall furnish you with the details to send the fees to MONETIZED your recovered fund.
Please, note that this MONETIZING fees will be remitted back to you along with the recovered fund on your name so it is still your money at the end of the day. It is a direct obligation of the beneficiary to provide this in order to service your direct or indirect swift transfer to your designated bank account of your choice.
Meanwhile, if you do not want to get this completed in your absence, you can send your flight details to UK and come down with the required fees and our Director of Protocol ,will arrange to pick you at the airport ; make reservation for you ; he will also pick you from the Vault to the bank and while you are here for 2days visit, your transfer will be completed and you can call your bank or send your ward to verify and confirm before you leave here,ok? In case ,this schedule is not completed in the UK , he will also ensure it is completed in Ireland which is about 43minutes from UK . This will enable you see whom you are paying the fees to avoid any fear or doubt.
Should you adhere to these directive, we can close this within the next 72hours since we also work on Saturday.

That confused Cammy.

Quote:

I'm puzzled by your email. The AFL payment doesn't need to be recovered, at least not so I've been told, and that monetizing thing has me confused. A full explanation would help.

The Lad proved to be both greedy and thin-skinned:

Quote:

Please, find copy of your draft for your verification and confirmation.
You are required to send the clearance fees as specifically specified in my previous mail to you which includes the total sum of
€19,500.
You are to send this fees to our cashier's name Mr. Andrew Graham or by my name via money gram and forward details along with your bank account where you want this fund converted and paid into.
Global Wealth Management is expected to receive this clearance and submit for your clearance along with your bank.
You need not to question our operation because you do not have to teach us our job.We have paid so many and assisted so many.
If your claim had no discrepancies, you ought to have receive all the funds by now or even part.Please, do the needful so that we can close your payment.
As the representative of Global Wealth Management, I am currently in Ireland for this resolution.

Cammy was unfazed.

Quote:

You can stow the attitude - if I point out that you've made a mistake, I'm doing you a favour, and you should be grateful. And you made a mistake. The AFL contract is for $1.52 million, not E7.5 million; payment is set for next Friday.

Some of you may remember the modality that I developed from the Moosenukkel Modelling thread, where Cammy helps arrange for a publicity campaign for Australian Rules football in Africa; Lads hopefully assume that it's another Lad at work. In this case, Frank thought that he was facing a deadline and that Cammy would react badly come Friday and she wasn't paid:

Quote:

That is your opinion but you don't teach your creditor how to pay you.
Can you believe me and do the needful and before Friday,you will call me and vindicate me.

Cammy was still breezily dismissive - and then the Lad wrote:

Quote:

I wonder why you are making things difficult.
Please, do the needful.
Do you need the account to send the fees?

Accepted! So the account was sent; but Cammy, currently at festivities for the AFL grand final (this Saturday), will be happy to (not) pay on Friday...

What a pair of cocks!

(And that makes 15K posts - what am I doing with my life?)

Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:22 pm

Will that ID explode after a given time (and it's 15,001 now)?

Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 3:15 am

Update time...

Dr K is keeping a stiff upper lip so far:

Quote:

IMF WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT THE FEE YOU PAID FOR YOUR TRANSFER DOCUMENTS HAS NOT ARRIVED IN THE BANK ACCOUNT OF THE MINISTRY, KINDLY FIND OUT FROM YOUR BANK THERE WHY THE MONEY YOU TRANSFERRED HAS NOT GOTTEN TO THE ACCOUNT UP TILL NOW.
THE MINISTRIES SAID THEY CAN ONLY RELEASE YOUR APPROVED DOCUMENTS TO US AS SOON AS THEY CONFIRM THEIR FEE YOU PAID IN THE BANK ACCOUNT THEY GAVE TO YOU.
KINDLY FIND OUT FROM YOUR AND LET THIS OFFICE KNOW.

Mal is too busy earning a living right now, so he won't be able to ask about his payment ere Monday; ain't that annoying!

Meanwhile, Frank is showing signs of impatience with Cammy:

Quote:

I did not see the transfer slip and your account.

Quote:

Please ,note that the draft may be suspended tomorrow for security
reason/s.Should this happen, the fund will be placed into government
suspense treasury accounts as abandoned claim.
I am placing this fund under a special priority because of the
AFL chairman's instruction on all debts to be settled from the AFL
recovered investment fund in Europe especially in the UK.
I look forward to the details along with your receiving bank account
immediately.

Cammy replied late on Thursday.

Quote:

We just got back from a really good night out and you're telling me things that don't make any sense. Government suspense treasury accounts, abandoned claims, AFL recovered investment funds... you've got me baffled, dewd.

Frank frayed even further:

Quote:

You already got the bank account and the names of the cashiers so youalready know what to do now.we are not joking here,pls

Cammy won't be replying for a couple of days, what with receiving the cheque for the contract, partying, and going to the Grand Final. It'll be Sunday before she can be bothered checking her email.

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:03 am

Over the last couple of weeks, Mal has been keeping Dr. K at arm's length, telling him that he went to the bank about why the transfer had failed, but...

Quote:

I went to the bank and spoke with Mr Braithwaite, and he explained everything - however, to be told that, I was obliged to sign a legally enforceable non-disclosure agreement.

Now Dr. K seems not to understand about NDAs, and kept demanding answers, so Mal told him to go to the source.

Quote:

I authorize you to approach my bank and ask whatever questions you need to ask to resolve this matter. Just pick up the phone and make the call; it's that simple.

And Dr. K refused to make the call, so Mal threw down the gauntlet.

Quote:

If you continue your refusal to contact NAB, even though I've given permission for you to do so on my behalf, then you are not serious.

More to come!

Meanwhile, a very happy Cammy was blithely ignoring an impatient Hancock dude:

Quote:

Now that this payment arrangement is almost completed, please, get back quickly with the transfer slip and your account quickly.
If you fail to finalize with this arrangement as agreed immediately, the only
alternative will be meeting Mr. Steven Cohen here in the UK to process
your direct payment in person.

Sunday rolls by, and Cammy sends a reply.

Quote:

Woot! What a day! A great result all round!
I don't know what this Cohen dewd is supposed to do, since we got the cheque as agreed, so why would we go to England? Just wondering.
Anyhoo, it's late and time for bed. Ciao!

Seems Cammy's happiness isn't infectious:

Quote:

You are requested to make provision for the receipt of your payment as authorized through GWM.
The earlier you do this, the better for you.

No matter, life is good!

Quote:

We've been paid by the AFL, like I told you; $1.52 million. Looks like we can retire by age 30 - how good is that?

So Hancock dude opts for a new approach:

Quote:

After the meeting yesterday with top members of Global Wealth Management and NNPC Foreign Auditors and Consulate Legal Attache in London, UK there was a decision to ask the bank to suspend the payment because of what is discovered to be a suspicious CLAIM attitude.
Unless you send the FOLLOWING INFORMATION or FLY DOWN TO UK WITH THE FEES TO MEET FACE TO FACE to resolve this ,we shall no longer proceed. You should not allow anyone to deceive you by offering you shortcut because at the end of the day, you will waste your time and money.
1)A valid copy of your International passport
2)A work identity in Norway and
3)NNPC contractor's id.
4) Contract Completion Certificate
5)Contract Execution Certificate.
6)Contract Sight Inspection Certificate.
7)Draft Clearance Fees Transfer slip.
Note: we shall no longer proceed.
It is only a fake beneficiary who wants to steal someone's else money that will fault this CLAIM .
For you not to send your passport id, Genuine work id and transfer slip of the fees, there is an option than that we may be dealing with a hacker ,criminal who wants to divert someone else claim. Probably a hacker.
It will be important you refute this stance by doing the needful.

Well, ain't he the hardass all of a sudden! But Cammy is not fazed at all.

Quote:

I told you that we got paid by the AFL, so I don't know what in Freyja's name you're prattling on about. As for the rest...
1)A valid copy of your International passport - the AFL didn't need one, so why should you be asking me?
2)A work identity in Norway - nothing was done in Norway
3)NNPC contractor's id - we did the contract for the AFL, not the NNPC
4)Contract Completion Certificate - none of your business!
5)Contract Execution Certificate - none of your business!
6)Contract Sight Inspection Certificate - we were arranging for photographs, so what was there to inspect?
7)Draft Clearance Fees Transfer slip - what fees?

Stay tuned...

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:06 pm

I bet his IQ is a minus number.