Black pork for the taking

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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 4:48 pm

We should bust out this oldie but goodie for Linda.

Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 1:05 pm

Tururut wrote:

...Snowy Owl and yours faithfully are preparing a Gomer intervention in here. I'll be most careful not to fork over your baits, but if anyone wishes us to wait or is not comfortable with that, let us know so that we can think of something else to b*gger him with.

He's dropped me so I have no problem with this. If you want, tell him you're now working that maga Mr. Panty, the oyinbo fool who sells the watches. That should raise his blood pressure. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 3:58 pm

Linda wrote:

scambit

Did he mean "scambait"?

If this lad actually knows what baiting is, yet doesn't know he is being baited to the point that he assumes everyone who has baited him is actually a lad...we may have a special one on our hands. First ever Mogadishu safari? Laughing

Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:34 pm

Quote:

I'm begging you, can you reply me. you are holding my $750 over 5 days now. i need this money

Said the usual stuff, something went wrong.
Then Mr. G. stepped in.

Quote:

BRODA STOP STEALING MY MAGAS
LAST WARNING

I'll let him stew for a while.

Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:01 am

Quote:

Hello,
I just paid the money, and your associate Mr. Gomer confirmed he had received it. If you ever want to buy some of my instruments, do not hesitate to contact me again.
Best regards
Elpidio.

ETA

Quote:

The Name on account i sent you is Kxxxxx oxxxxx 2xxxxxxxxxx bank of America... Please crosscheck don't know any Mr Gomer okay. Send me transfer slip.

and

Quote:

Yes I'm still going to buy the instruments. But who is mr Gomer? Kindly send me slip for the wire transfer

I answered both mails

Quote:

I don't know, I just got a call from a man called Mr. Gomer who sounded Jamaican or African and told me he was your assistant and he had received the money
Best
E.

Quote:

If you're going to buy the instruments, send me THREE credit cards to charge the money or else one credit card with a USD 2,000 limit.
Best
E.

The reply did not take long

Quote:

You must be stupid for telling me someone called you and said hes was my assistance , Infact Ogun will strike you. sango will kill you

and

Quote:

Why do you need 3 CC ? I will invoke your spirit and you will die tragic death i promise

So I answer

Quote:

Whatever gibberish are you talking?
Let's get things straight
1) I got you a handsome discount in the price.
2) You send me a credit card with a lower limit than the total payment.
3) I have to reimburse you and you give me all sorts of problem.
4) Now you say you don't know Mr. Gomer
How do I know you are not trying to scam me out of my money?
I have done my best to help you and I don't think you're being serious.

Mr. G. chimes in.

Quote:

I DONE TELL YOU. YOU WERE TRYING TO CHOP MY MAGAS SO I CHOP YOUR MONEY AND YOUR CARDS INSTEAD. I WARNED YOU BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. I GO CHOP ALL YOUR PAYMENTS UNLESS YOU AGREE TO LEAVE MY MAGAS ALONE AND WORK FOR ME.
BLESS
CHIEF JOHN

Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:15 pm

Sorry for spamming, but the lad went absolutely nuts.

Quote:

To get you straight. Gomer must be a scammer. I sent you my credit card and I told you to refund. Can you please send me account you sent money to ?

If you have been sending money to him you better stop

Quote:

Did you sent the mobey to the right account i gave you ?

Quote:

I know to make sure you fall victim.please change your password. Some bad people have hacked you. Send me account you sent money to. This is simple. Send me confirmation

Quote:

Elpidio,

I need you to calm so as to solve this crisis , Firstly i sent you China account and you said due to some reason you can't pay to the account. and i sent you another account which is bank of America and you replied about Mr Gomer which i never met in my entire life.

To keep you safe, reset your password first.

Secondly give me the account you paid to? I need payment slip okay

You can text my USA phone number or email me , you can also send me your number as well.

Best Regards

He sent me this latter message five times in quick succession.

Then to Mr. G.

Quote:

I don't understand you. Are you gomer?

I bomb client and pay with cc. Why come I collect your maga? You want make sango visit your family ? In fact name ogun go kill you

Quote:

Guy you be mumu. Me and you don't belong to same client okay. If not for that stupid client i can never come across stupid guy like you. Bro eat shit and die. Prepare to use the money for hospital bill

I picture him sweating and muttering incoherently to himself.

Elpidio will not answer until tomorrow. Or maybe not even until the day after. The chief answered.

Quote:

Guy,
I worked Valdes and Mr. Panty, the oyinbo fool who sells the watches and many others. I don't know how you get them. But I know that unless you work for me, you are not going to see one single naira in your life. But I am good man and so I offer a small opportunity for a small boy like you. You could make many dollar by working real men format. All my boys drive american cars and have iphones, ashewos and all they can wish. Think about it ok?
Bless
Chief

Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:40 pm

I like Chief's answer, especially "You could make many dollar by working real men format." Hit a man while he's down....

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:26 am

Quote:

Anyway, Let me clear you first, we can't be fighting without reason, I never steal your client, I am doing shipping job and as you can see if you are not blind, I paid them with credit card and collect my balance. Do your work and i won't disturb you. But the little that the client suppose pay me for my hard earned, If you disturb it, I swear, i don't need to know you or where you leave or how you look like. i promise you evils will be fall you.

Quote:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SHOULD NOT SAY THIS WORD SO LIGHTLY. MAYBE OGUN IS NOT IN U FAVOUR AT ALL. I GET BEST JUJU PRIESTESS IN ALL WEST AFRICA. I CAN MAKE SURE U NO GO GET ONE SINGLE CLIENT AGAIN. DIE IN POVERTY LIKE YOUR FATHER. BUT IF U WORK WITH ME U WILL GET MORE MONEY THAN IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. SCOTCH FOR BREAKFAST EVERY DAY, TWO CADILLACS, DIFFERENT ASHAWOS EVERY NIGHT. NA THIS OR BEING COUNTRY BOY AND GROW YAMS UNTIL U DIE.
THINK ABOUT IT
ONE LUV
CHIEF

Don't think this is getting anywhere, but who knows...

ETA

lad wrote:

Thunder fire you within 3 days

Chief wrote:

OK, I PUT IT ON MY DIARY.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG57mPMiJvw
ONE LUV
CHIEF

lad wrote:

Oloriburuku somebody

Oliburuku, according to Mr. Google, refers to an initiated in the rite of Nana Buruku, that is, Ogun's mother and "god" of vengeance (at least in Afro-cuban santería).

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