Doctor's advice

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Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1300

Whenever a lad signs himself as a 'Doctor' I can never resist having my little old lady victim asking him about her lumbago. Some lads realize that the Doctor they are impersonating is not medical doctors and avoid the question that way but one or two resort to Google to provide their medical diagnosis. Here's a nice one from a lad.

Quote:

Dear Elizabeth Doody

I really sympathize with you for all the pains that you might have gone through concerning your lumbago. I did not refer to it in my previous email due to the fact that I want to calm down and give you a well detailed email concerning a gradual lumbago treatment advice which surely works. Such sickness and other sicknesses have only one source, which is excess tissue acid. I want you to be glad that you have someone like me, if you adhere strictly to the advice that I have given below; you will surely be free from lumbago and be happy.

To remain healthy and be free from lumbago and other occurring ailments, it is very important for you to start alkalizing your body. In a simple explanation, human body PH balance is 80% alkaline and 20% acidic. A balanced diet is 64% alkaline and 36% acidic. Virtually all foods we eat daily are mostly acidifying foods and our body requires alkaline to maintain constant good health.

Like I said earlier such sickness and other sicknesses have only one source, which is excess tissue acid. It is a wide known truth that alkaline detoxifies the body of excess tissue acid. When alkaline mix with acid, it turns to salt and water and the body gets rid of it easily. Therefore to rid your body of lumbago, you need to continually alkalize your body daily until all such lumbago causing tissue acid is gone and the alkalinity of your body PH is fully restored.

The best way to get good alkaline is either from lime or from bicarbonate of soda.

1. Let me explain lime first: the seemingly acidic lime is alkaline in nature.

You will incorporate lime juice (i.e.: alkaline water) in your meals at least twice daily, morning and evening. To commence treatment, press 2 to 3 balls of lime into a cup of cool or warm water, (not hot water) and drink it 10 minutes before meals or 5 minutes after meals. Do not press the lime and keep for more than 10 minutes before drinking it, otherwise press, add water and drink immediately. If you maintain daily intake of lime juice as I have prescribed, it will gradually detoxify your body of all excess tissue acid, fortify your immune system and heal you completely of lumbago and its prognosis.

2. Secondly let us review bicarbonate of soda: bicarbonate of soda is an embodiment of high alkaline. Arm and Hammer bicarbonate of soda is the purest baking soda available and that is the only bicarbonate of soda that I refer to my clients for use.

Bicarbonate of Soda is of inestimable value in treatment of respiratory infections, alimentary intoxication, pyelitis (inflammation of the pelvis of the kidney), hyper-acidity of urine, uric acid disturbances, Rheumatism, Lumbago and burns.

Bicarbonate of soda increases the alkalinity of the blood, assists elimination and increases resisting power of the body to all infectious diseases.
Bicarbonate of soda dosages:

Recommended doses from the Arm and Hammer Company for cold and influenza treatment back in 1925. Below doses are also very effective at treatment of lumbago and various diseases.

Day 1: take six doses of half teaspoonful of Arm and Hammer bicarbonate of soda in a glass of cool water, at about two hours intervals.
Day 2: take four doses of half teaspoonful of Arm and Hammer bicarbonate of soda in a glass of cool water, at about two hours intervals.

Day 3: take two doses of half teaspoonful of Arm and Hammer bicarbonate of soda in a glass of cool water morning and evening and thereafter half teaspoonful each morning until you are completely free of lumbago.

Please note that the above doses must be taken an hour before meals or an hour after meals. Once added in a glass of cold water, you must steer until it is fully soluble before you can drink it. Do not drink until it is well steered. And do not drink immediately after eating food; you must drink it an hour before meals or an hour after meals.
Note; also Magnesium chloride is the only form of magnesium that has been reported to increase immune system strength. When one adds magnesium chloride to ones bath or drinks it orally in mixture with sodium bicarbonate, one supercharges their defensive perimeter.

Madam, I have taken my time to ensure that I package the above and the best remedies to assist you become whole free from lumbago and all forms of diseases.
In any area that you may require further clarification, I am fully at your service.

With kind regards, I await your response.

Dr. Oscar Christopher

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:57 pm

You know, this would lead perfectly into the sudden demise of poor Elizabeth...

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3876

oh yes

poor granny, she mixed things up and instead of sodium bicarbonate, she bought sodium hydroxide (hey, it sounds virtually identically). and she gave it to her grandson, who had a little flu... now, grandson is in hospital, and it's not sure if he'll survive.

granny will nead a loan to pay the hospital bills Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:53 pm

That reminds me of a line from An Irishman's Difficulties with the Dutch Language: "You have asked for a drink of oxalic acid!" The Irishman had confused the Dutch words "zuiveringszout" and "zuringzout".

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:54 pm

oooo a lad who puts some effort in. I am sure he will enjoy your attention. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:58 pm

It is good that he is suggesting natural remedies Cool