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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:12 am

Good news from Mal!

Quote:

It seems that Moneygram have seen sense and decided to refund my money by the end of this week; however, part of the deal is that I never use their services again. Now that is just petty. Still, getting the money back is a good thing.
Given your words from last week, I wonder if you have anything to say about that.

Well, it's good news for Mal; I didn't say anything about good news for the Rev.

Bacon Farmer Joined: 30 Jan 2013 Posts: 295

After some days of silence the Shizz crawled back to Anna, still hoping for that £500 Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Anna,

You made me sad when you insist that am telling lie here, so why do you have mind to say so?? Is not fair?? Did your Bank told you that the Money was sent to Toni?? I will try to find out from her and get back to you.

Thanks

I guess he will get back to Anna with more sad news...

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 3:35 pm

Jo has not heard from Rev. Mork or the Shiz, so he reaches out.

To Mork.

Quote:

What is going on? Was my friend rite about you? Are you only pretending to operate a orphans home in addition to pretending to be a reverend? Now what am I supposed to do with this warehouse full of stuff? We were really looking forward to helping some poor starving orphans this year. I guess we will just have to give it all to that other orphans home I mentioned earlier, along with our 10,000$ cheque.

And to the Shiz.

Quote:

What in Hell is going on? Is this how you care for the victims of the war in Iran? I can now se why they are dying. Even with your special needs I must say that you are a disgrace to the uniform you wear, sir! Here you have people offering to aid you in your efforts to bring humanitarian aid but rather than accept there help you ignore them. I have half a mind to have my veteran golf buddy contact the Arizona Army camp directly so I can file a complaint with your CO. I am however going to give you this one last chance to actually do something that will actually help those poor surfering people. All you need to do is tell me what your special condition is only. I have 7,500 USD awaiting your response.

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:17 pm

The Shizz flashes his credentials to Vern:

Quote:

Please am sorry for late reply here. Please i have attached my identity here and you can view it. I look forward to hear from you soon.

Thanks

He attached the dodgy passport and an AMRY letter jpg Rolling Eyes

Cockney Vern replies:

Quote:

Thanks Guv

Got the ID with your boat race and your letter for the Arizona Troops Humanitarian Charity Organisation. I still need the address of your office in Arizona mate for my records. Drowning in bleedin paperwork I am.

Had a nice evening down the rub a dub but you don't get much change from a cock and hen for a pint of pigs ear these days. Still I got a few more sponsors so my totals up to £3,774.50. That'll be a nice little earner for you.

Hang tough, Vern

Nothing to Ada. Will poke him later.

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:44 pm

The lad seems to be giving up. I haven't checked all my email accounts, but Iain wrote to him:

Quote:

Just to let you know, I've sent the money, £386.24.

And ... nothing. No request for a payment slip; nothing.

I suppose he may check Mr Tijani's mail account sometime, but he is certainly not rushing to it, even though Iain said that he would pay today.

We've broken him!

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:08 pm

The lad didn't give up on miss Marple yet. But his emails are short and lifeless.

Anthony wrote:

Dear miss Marple,,

Everything now is solved do not boarder no more because FBI Police here has protect your Bank Account OK. So go to your bank today and send us the fee into this account here, do not waste more time to that we shall send your Debit Card as possible OK.

(bank account again)

Go to your Bank and send the Fee today and send me here the Receipt of payment from the Bank OK.

My warm greetings to your household,
Anthony

miss Marple wrote:

Dear Anthony.

Before i will send money i need some answers to some questions. The most important question is: How much money did the corrupt politicians take out of my fund? Do you know the names of these corrupt politicians? And how could this happen?

I would really appreciate it when you give me the answers to my questions.

Yours,

Miss Marple.

Anthony wrote:

Madam, we have told you that no money was taken from your Fund, FBI POLICE has taking Control of it...Everything was intact as i write to you now...the FBI POLICE has help to [protect your account and no one is diverting your Fund no more OK.

So we wait for the Payment as possible here. When are you sending the Payment into the Account??

I will advise you Go to your Bank and send the Fee today and send me here the Receipt of payment from the Bank OK.

My warm greetings to your household,
Anthony

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:54 pm

The Rev wrote back promptly:

Quote:

Am happy that you can understand me that am sure when am telling you that we have not get the Money you send, if you got your Moneyback from them you can send with Western Union Transfer to us with the Donation...if you really want to help us here OK. But call me lets talk OK.
Thanks.

Oh, Mal may well call, but first, he has a question.

Quote:

Answer me this; what church do you represent?

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:13 pm

Finally, a blow from the clue bat has turned on the lights:

Bummer wrote:

I have understand what you mean, scratched it all...then write me the numbers in the Scratch part. Scratched it well as possible so that i can see it well, or you can help write out the numbers out OK. I wait for it as possible. it could be the MTCN Number...so scratched it well as possible.

But now Chip is confuse:

Chip wrote:

I called the Western Union Clark and asked about the scratch off and he told me that is the secure mtcn form, and that most people want the form mailed to them to scratch off for themselves to prevent scummers from harking the funds. My assistant has the form with her, she is not here yet, how would you like me to procede? Do you want me to mail the secure form to you?

Rev Mark finally tells me what I've spent the last 50 emails trying to get him to tell me:

Bummer wrote:

Ok, do not worry,...now you have understand what am asking you since. Scratch it off, then write the numbers to me here i will get it protected. Since the Donation was for us here...so Scratch it off and send me the numbers here....so that i can take it to the bank here to get the Money you send Ok. Email me here the secured Mtcn Numbers on the Form...i see where you start scratching it already...so email me here the number OK

Chip gets it now, but unfortunately doesn't have the slip and doesn't know how to use the scanner. BumBum will just have to wait.

Chip wrote:

OK, I understand now. My assistant has the paper with her, I
had her go ahead and take the day off because she had to go see the doctor, I will call her and tell her to bring the receipt with her in the morning and she will scan it to you as I don't know how to use the scanner.

He's getting excited about it, the replies are almost instantaneous:

Bummer wrote:

Yes thats the best way to do it...scratch off the seal part..then scan the paper again...but first write out the the MTCN Number as possible OK.

Chip wrote:

Right on, my friend! look for my email in the morning when she arrives with the slip.

So he only has to wait until tomorrow...what could possibly go wrong? And for those of you in our viewing audience, here's a sneak peek of the slip that he will get...eventually:

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:20 pm

^^^ You do realise that this is not likely to improve his mood. Shame on you Avalar Very Happy

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:14 am

Mal's back in play.

Obutt sounded wary:

Quote:

I Represent Pentecostal Church, OK. So what makes you asked? ?

Mal explained.

Quote:

I'm asking that question because your church should have been able to register your orphanage as a charity. Since they apparently didn't do that, I'm wondering why.

Then I made a call (that will be posted later)

Not long after:

Quote:

I do Appreciate your call this morning. This Orphanage home here was not Founded by the Church rather this was my little personal Opinion as i saw lots of Child Abuse here and little Childrens suffer in the streets without parental cares. So i decided to open a small places as an Orphanage home in my home to raise the kids and train them. But it was barely started 7 months ago and the Churches do visit us but not supporting me to Resgistar it proper but i was doing it with my little money and praying for supports from good people who will loves to help us here for Donations.
Please the money you wanted to Donate to us, please can you resend it with WESTERN UNION TRANSFER or Still MONEYGRAM?? If you can tell MoneyGram to resend the money again..then they shall do it as possible but the Informations on the receipts which is the MTCN NUMBER (CONTROL NUMBERS) Please i would love you to copy or write it down and send the numbers here on mail while you take your phone to take a photo of the Receipts and send to my mail...PLEASE SEND IT WITH THE SAME INFORMATION. So that i can see money to buy more foods to the kids OK.
It will be possible since we have not received the morning OK.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:13 pm

Reverend Murk gives the E-Mail of a representative who should convince Robert + Hilde that he's innocent:

To Robert+Hilde Rev Murk wrote:

Yes...am very Innocent you can contact my Representative here on this email about us: ([email protected])

Thanks so much

Robert+Hilde To Matthew wrote:

We have your e-mail address from Mr. Murk. He claims he is something like the "Cheif Execution Officer" of an orphanage. He also claims that re is a reverend. As we know from our good acquaintance Mrs. Shani, both do not. The whole way he writes does not seem to us to be particularly Christian, because he is always short and always asks for our donation money. A decent man would ask first about our well-being and that of our children before turning to the financial questions. We know this from the collective activity.

If you can convince us that Mr. Murk is a trustworthy person, we will be happy to support her orphanage with a donation.

With kind regards

The E-Mail, bounced. We inform Mr. Murk, that something is wrong...

Robert+Hilde To Rev Murk wrote:

We tried to write their representation, but the e-mail came back. What's going on there ? Is there not your Representative?

We pray for you!

Nothing new from Col Shixx yet.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:53 pm

Muhahaha, a veeeery nice baiting activity! Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:31 pm

The Shizz thinks Ada is wicked and unserious Shocked

Quote:

You are very Unserious to save your Little Child YUSUL...Why are you wicked? You lie to me that you send money...and you didnt...i think i shall tell you that you are not serious to cares for YUSUL...Is not fair.

Ada explains yet again:

Quote:

Mr Luetinant I know you have difficulties so I will explain again. The vicar and I DID send the money to Miss Marthins but then I got the email about you killing civilians. So we went back to the bank and STOPPED the payment. The £2,256 is waiting in my account to be sent when we get the pig. The vicar is waiting to put it in his December newsletter. To show people their money is appreciated. Now do you understand?

As for me being wicked and not wanting to save my little Yusul, that is a terrible thing to say to an old lady. Shame on you! Have I not sent toys and a bobble hat? Walked bloody miles for that drum I did! And I have £2000 for his hospital bill for the nice doctor. Ever since you promised me my pig I have been waiting to send it all but you keep on delaying things. If I had my pig you would have all the money by now and the orphans could have a nice Christmas. Imagine having all that money to spend on the little ones! If my Yusul is still too sick then get one of the other little orphans to draw it. We don't mind. You must get organised Mr Luetinant and stop wasting time. You don't want to lose all that money and my monthly donation over a little pig do you?

I must go now to feed the cat. Ada

Meanwhile to Vern it's all about the money Rolling Eyes

Quote:

When are you Donating to us? tell me to know??? So that we can send you Account for Payment??

Thanks.

He's already sent me the account but Vern won't reply until tomorrow.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 5:09 pm

The Shiz responded to Joe's poke (I like to think it was the threat of being exposed). Nothing, yet from Rev. Mork.

Shiz to Joe:

Quote:

Thanks so much, i will be happy when you shall help the people of Mosul with that Donation in your Hand. Please do you need An Account to pay in the Money?? Tell me let me know....We are very nice to people and we hurt no one...please understand me that am very Honest with you here.

Joe to Shiz:

Quote:

I believe I have figured out your problem without your help. I looks as though your special condition causes you to rite things you don't mean and you are not even aware that you are doing it. Well no matter. As soon as you answer anyone of my questions, I will be happy to make a donation. Just one answer is all I ask. I honestly can only think of one other person who has made charitable giving as difficult as you have. But maybe he has a special condition, too. So please, please, please send me your answer and Arizona bank account information so we can finish this business.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 6:49 pm

Weird lad. Iain said that he was paying, but the lad seemingly hasn't been back to that email account since.

So, this morning, Iain to Mr Tijani wrote:

It's 24 hours now since I told you that I'd sent the money, and I haven't heard a word from you about posting the documents to me. I'm beginning to think that this is another trick, like that fake lawyer. If I don't hear from you soon, I'm going back to my bank to cancel that payment.

And then 8 hours later, he wrote:

I've been back to the bank and cancelled the transfer. You were obviously just trying to trick me. You wanted to take the money and run. You were out of luck though, because I stopped it going through. Your fakery didn't work here this time.

And yet, to non-paying Janny (who sent the money to a different orphanage), he bothered to write a cross email.

Rev Mark wrote:

You are a Fool by saying such...dont you know my Orphanage? you think you are smart?? You dont have nothing so keep yourself in your room, i hate fake liars....

So Janny wrote:

What a strange email you wrote! Yes, of course I know your orphanage, but the man running the Loving Hope Motherless Babies Home was such a nice person, that's why I decided to donate there instead. But it all goes to the children, doesn't it, so I'm sure that you feel glad about that.

Am I smart? I doubt it, because when I look round at the world and all the great inventors and achievers and scientists, I always feel very little.

I have nothing? Keep myself in my room? I don't understand. I have a lot, and I own a house, not a room!

Fake liars? I don't like lying either, but that description doesn't fit me. What strange things to say! But maybe even churchmen have a little tipple sometimes!

Have a nice rest of week.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:02 pm

Quote:

Have a nice rest of week.

Somehow I doubt that will happen. The more frustrated he gets, the nastier he gets Very Happy

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 6:07 am

The lad is still getting nowhere with my characters;

Anthony wrote:

Madam, we have told you that no money was taken from your Fund, FBI POLICE has taking Control of it...Everything was intact as i write to you now...the FBI POLICE has help to [protect your account and no one is diverting your Fund no more OK.

So we wait for the Payment as possible here. When are you sending the Payment into the Account??

I will advise you Go to your Bank and send the Fee today and send me here the Receipt of payment from the Bank OK.

My warm greetings to your household,
Anthony

miss Marple wrote:

Dear Anthony.

Are you stringing me along? You are contradicting yourself in that last email as if to confuse me. First you want to make me believe that there is nothing wrong, and then you write, and i quote: "no one is diverting your fund no more". And no more means that it did happen but not any more. This is very suspicious, i'm beginning to daubt your loyalty. Are you in leage with these corrupt politicians? You also refuse to answer my questions which will only make yourself look suspicious.
Again i ask you to answer my questions, and if you refuse, you'll be my prime suspect.

Think about it.

Yours,

miss Marple.

Rev O'Bum just doesn't understand;

rev O'Bum wrote:

Hello, i do not understand you. Tell her to help you send it to Pauline Marthins, tell her that you want her to received it in USA not Nigeria. Tell her that it was going to Nigeria. Tell her to do it for you that you are not sending to Nigeria no more but to Mrs Pauline Marthin that you know her. Tell her that you trust Mrs Pauline Marthins, that the money is for a family purpose OK.

Tell Mrs O'Hara, be Bold and tell her to send it to USA Not Nigeria, do that as possible.

Regards
O'bum

miss Marple wrote:

Dear rev O'Bum.

But miss O'Hara already knows about it all, so she will refuse. She is not stupid and above all, i will not lie about it. Sending money with western union is not possible. Isn't there any other way i can send the money? Can't i sent a cheque to this Pauline? Maybe that will work. What do you say?

Yours,

miss Marple.

rev O'Bum wrote:

Thank you madam, It think Miss O'Hara dont understand why you shall send us money, she thinks you are sending money to Scammers which we are not. Why do you say that sending Money with Western Union is not Possible?? I dont think you are very sure that you want to help the Children...i dont think so. Send me the name of your City so that i can help you search another Western Union Location or Moneygram...there are lots of them over there maybe you dont know where they are.

Thanks
O'bum

Money gram is not in the nearest village, so yes, let's go for money gram.
Sunlight has the same problem as many others;

Sunlight wrote:

Hi there Mark.

We have been to the bank,me and Chris, to send our donation to you. But it didn't work because we don't have the IBAN that belongs to that bank account. So could you give me that IBAN otherwise we cant sent the donation. You don't have to hurry, everything in it's own time of course.

Peace!

Sunlight.

within 10 minutes rev O'Bum wrote:

Ok, please tell me how much you are sending now i think you should send it with this Bank Account?? I have another Account.

(the new bank account)

Tell me how much you are sending into this Account because it has an IBAN...

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 5:00 pm

Rev Murk tells me the e-mail adress again:

Quote:

Ok..you can write it back to him, this was her email address but if it dont go you can try this email to reach him. ([email protected])

I made a second attempt to write to Rev Murks representative but it failed again.

Robert+Hilde To Rev Murk wrote:

For the second time, we have tried to reach your address via the mail address [email protected]. And the e-mail came back immediately. The message is also this time that this mail address does not exist.

Slowly, we believe, your representation has only been invented. Why else should you provide us with an invalid e-mail address? If we do not reach your representative next time, we will do without further attempts and donate the remaining CHF 1700 otherwise.

We pray for you!

It's time to poke Col Shixx. I want this project proposal.

Otto to Col Shixx wrote:

This evening I am preparing for the meeting of the board of my association the "Yodelling Merciful Christian Alphornblowers" on friday evening. I heard from a fellow, that he has two interesting project to present for a year long monthly donation. One has to do with education for refugee children, another one is for a sanitation for a camp that is already built. They will be hard competitors for your project proposal. But I will do my best that your project gets the donation. I can prepare to represent your project as sson as I have your documentation.

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:17 pm

The Shizz is grumpy:

Quote:

Ada,
You are very Joking here...you never want to do nothing all of your words was full of joke and unseriousness...

Ada has had enough:

Quote:

Mr Luetinant I am getting fed up with your delaying and that's a fact. I never joke about money. My Sidney worked hard to leave me so well provided for, God rest his soul. Why would I not be serious about it?? If YOU are serious about wanting the £2,256 for the orphans then send my pig like you promised. Like I said I will get a taxi to the bank to send the money as soon as I get it. If you can't be bothered to send my pig then let me know. Me and the vicar will make our festive donation elsewhere. I am tired of your nonsense.

I must go now to feed the cat. Ada

Vern hasn't responded yet. He is busy training.

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:57 pm

Here's the last call from Mal to Rev O'Butt.

https://soundcloud.com/yastrebs-storm-wolf/mal-to-obutt-23-nov-16

Mal will get back to the Rev in due course.

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:49 am

^ Great call. The lad is not exactly a quick-thinker, is he?!

And I guess he assumes that Shona has had the plaster taken off her broken arm by now.

For Mrs Okapi reappeared, and wrote:

I have not write you long ago, because i lost my Husband..now i was broke nothing is left for me...now./..I need support from you for the burial?? Please help me??

He's wrong, though, about the plaster being removed. Shona is still one-armed.

But she wrote:

oh, i'm so so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, how tragic, and right on top of all the other things you have had to cope with this year. what happened to him? and how is your daughter coping with this?

why though is your husband still not buried? i thought that burial happened quickly in a hot country like nigeria?

what can i do to help?

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 2:46 pm

The Shizz is not cooperating:

Quote:

Ok, who do you think will draw you a Pig? YUSUL is down in the Hospital....you must understand it. Stop delaying your Spirits OK. Go and send the Money so that YUSUL can get money too for Medical Treatments.

Ada isn't budging:

Quote:

Mr Luetinant you are obviously not reading me emails properly. I quite clearly said that me and the vicar don't mind which orphan draws my pig. It doesn't have to be my little Yusul. So long as I get my pig and the vicar gets something to put in the church newsletter. It is important to let people know their fundraising is appreciated you know. All charities do it!

As for my poor little Yusul being sick, isn't it about time that hospital sorted him out? Been in there ages he has. It was only a bit of bad air for Gods sake! It's not like his legs were blown off or anything. Bit of oxygen and he should be as right as rain. And you haven't sent me the doctor's bill yet. I want to know what I'm getting for my money.

Now Mr Luetinant I am going away next Friday for my turkey and tinsel weekend to Eastbourne. If you haven't sent my pig by then I am going to stop wasting my time and give the money to the Christ Mission Orphanage & Charity Home in Accra, Ghana. They seem desperate for money for their orphans. Anyway, it is up to you now.

I must go now to feed the cat. Ada

Vern still hasn't responded.

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:43 pm

The Reverend sends another E-Mail for contacting his representative:

To Robert+Hilde Rev Murk wrote:

Ok, if thats was a problem, i have informed him about it, and he gave me another email address, please help contact him with this mail: ([email protected])

Thanks....

So I'll contact his representative with the same message that already bounced twice.

Col Shixx wrote:

Thanks in your Concern, we have sent you our Documentation and i dont know what you mean?? Please we are now in Serious way to help Civilians over there..it was Terrible when you watch what is going on there?? Whatever your Organisation say please do let me know OK.

Thanks.

The Shixx is such a dumbass. So I have to repeat again what I want.

Otto to Col Shixx wrote:

What Do you mean, you sent me the documentation ? Do you mean the single page with the cost estimates you sent me ?
I think, I made clear, what the board of our association wants if they have to decide about a big donation: A project proposal of at least FIVE pages, based on a template as I sent you. The FIVE pages are calculated withouth the photos to attach. If I don't have that, I wont present your project to the board at all. So, if your interested in the donation, just sent me the project proposal as described.

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:26 am

To Iain, Mr Tijani wrote:

I have Just read your mail now, and i find out that you dont trust me and you think we are Fake?? I have not check the mail fr days now because i have been out of my Computer. Now i have checked the mail and see what you wrote io was wondering why do you say so?? Do you think we can Betrayed you? what is the gain?? please if you make Payment let me know or you can call me ?? I dont know why you dont call me and i dont have your number...why?? do you think am lying to you or what?? Please you can cal;l me with this Mobile number: +234-number.

Let me know when you make the Payment then you call me here, then i can know that you have made a Payment. Please am sorry for not being here in time.

Iain wrote:

I don't know, Tijani, it doesn't seem right to me. Yes, I think that you were just going to take the money and disappear. I don't believe that you were just away from the computer, if you are really who you say you are, then you'd have colleagues and administration staff to check your mails while you were away. Yes, I could call you, but I think the chance of you understanding my accent and me understanding your accent is about nil. I did let you know when I sent the payment, but all I got in return was silence.

Mr Tijani wrote:

I have understand you, my Administrative Staff dont have my Email passwords and thats why but all is well, i wait for your Call and our Accent doesn't matter but we can speak English to understand more OK. So i wait for your answer now am back in Office because everyday i do check mails not that few day i been out of Office, pls am very Sorry OK. So do call me or you can send me you Mobile number too to contact you as possible. So do let me know when you made the payment OK.

Iain wrote:

Well, Tijani, it does matter to me if I can't understand you on the phone, it makes the whole thing pointless. And what do you want me to phone you about, anyway?

I suppose I can send the payment again, but I do wonder if I'm just throwing the money away. I've got no idea what the documents are that I'm supposed to receive in exchange, it is just something I've got to sign, or what? And why can't you just email them to me anyway?

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:03 am

Mr Tijani wrote:

How was your day and family?? I have been unable to log in my other mail but now you shal be writting me here and i wish to read your mail but it was very Difficult to sign in, but you can write me with this mail...it was my private mail. Please bear with me and dont get Angry of me, but i want to speak with you on phone and build trust that you shall not have any fear with me in my Office. As soon as the Payment is paid, we shall received an Alert in the Account i gave you OK.

Iain wrote:

I'll think about phoning you, Tijani, ok? I personally don't see how it is going to build trust or anything else if I can't understand you, but I'll think about it at least. I've got a friend coming today - with his collies - so I don't know if I'll have time right now, but we'll see.

I don't have family by the way, unless you count my brother and his brood. I'm single and staying that way.

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