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 This makes a change from the usual opening scripts.

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pete515
Elite Baiter


Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1300


PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A contender for the most bizarre opening script? Let's see what fortune awaits me at the bottom of the ocean.

Quote:
As a trained U.S. Naval Oceanography; I've covered a wide range of marine life and ecosystems, ocean circulation, plate tectonics and the geology of the sea floor, the chemical and physical properties of the ocean. A lot have been discovered inside the Ocean which is yet to be disclosed as agreed with my team. We shall discuss further on mutual benefit upon receipt of your reply.

Please contact me only at my private email: [email protected]

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002
Deputy Director, TFCC

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Brando Flux
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 8:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Odd.

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Roycropper
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 9:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think (in a pirate voice) 'There be treasure!'

Of course, they're going to need a lot of cash up front before they can go back and retrieve it.

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COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
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Mattaz
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^
Quote:
'There be treasure!'

Indeed, trunkboxes full of money Very Happy
Quote:
We discovered useful materials under the Ocean, which includes boxes
belonging to dead passengers of the aircraft that crashed in January
2015 at Gulf of Mexico Caribbean Sea. Each of the two boxes contain
Six Million Dollars, which we hid behind Caribbean Sea for more than
one year. We cannot ship the boxes in our names because of our naval
reputation. If you have the credibility to handle the boxes then
forward your complete information for delivery schedule, also bear in
mind that 30% of the total content will be yours at successful end of
this transaction. Myself and my Colleague will visit you as soon as
the boxes are confirmed in your hands.


Lads are everywhere, even on the botom of the ocean!

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Esox lucius
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Another load of bollocks - a bit like a few years ago when some lad wanted to fund a huge net in the upper atmosphere to harvest all the precious metals floating around from burnt out satellites etc Smile

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I always wanted to pretend to be a marine biologist, I'm in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_FoG0BpDUc

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Volnutt
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

After a year in exile, this looks like a fun one to get myself back in the game. Messrs Norfolk and Chance are on board Twisted Evil

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lakeside77
A chaff in the USA


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I want to look in to this. I am dying to find out how they managed this:

Lad wrote:
Each of the two boxes contain Six Million Dollars, which we hid behind Caribbean Sea for more than one year.

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Big X
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I looked in my spam folder today, and what do you know, I received this format too. Let's see what our maritime salvaging friend makes of Roger.

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maggiestail
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Roycropper wrote:
I think (in a pirate voice) 'There be treasure!'


And this lad has the perfect name for it too:

Quote:
[email protected]


Who's going to be first to change it to 'Pirate' when they're writing back to him? Smile

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pete515
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 11:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ I hope Roger is going to be a 'Jolly Roger' when he corresponds with CDR Pirate (sorry Piret).

James Bond was a Naval Commander and had the designation 007 - whereas CDR Piret is 0002. Don't know if that makes him better or worse than 007, probably better as he has the technology to find trunk boxes at the bottom of the ocean and know they contain exactly 6,000,000 each.

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"..a strange voice like a wild pussy cat yelled at me and then paused......It was terrible, I nearly threw my phone away, and it scared me." Lad talks to a fax machine.

"mother remember I trusted you with all my hearth, remember I fouled with my blood that I am ready to take you as my biological mother remember I gave you my hope, my spirit and soul that you will lie to me or cheat me" Elinah Kipkalya
"you sun of a beach ".."you foolish and bustard stinking dead dog". More from the fragrant Elinah 4 weeks later.
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Roycropper
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 11:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

After 18 months or so on the seabed (or hiding behind it), I do hope that nothing has happened to the bank notes in those boxes that has made them turn black.

If Commander Pirate wants to be number 2, it didn't do the Prisoner any good, he still wasn't Number 1.

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the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
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BitaTrouble
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I jumped on this one, too. Here's how they labeled the contents:
Quote:
We shall cover the shipping charges and the boxes will be declared Sea Food with relevant materials to protect the shipment in your favor.

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Pastor Frank
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's priceless.



Quote:
I am a marine biologist. Tell me more, do you have fish?

Randy

On 8/19/2016 at 9:19 AM, "Ronald J Piret" <[email protected]> wrote:

Hello Greg,

It is pleasant to cover wide range of marine life ecosystems, ocean
circulation and plate tectonics. We are discovering useful materials
under the Ocean on daily bases, which includes boxes belonging to dead
passengers of the aircraft that crashed in January 2015 at Gulf of
Mexico Caribbean Sea. Each of the two boxes contain Six Million
Dollars, which we hid behind Caribbean Sea for more than one year. We
cannot ship the boxes in our names because of our naval reputation. If
you can handle the boxes then forward your complete information for
delivery schedule, also bear in mind that 30% of the total content
will be yours at successful end of this transaction. Myself and my
Colleague will visit you as soon as the boxes are confirmed in your
hands.

I await your reply to determine the necessary steps to magnificent success.

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002
Deputy Director, TFCC
Call me +1 470 673 0006

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manbiteslion
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 1:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Bizarre, not as bizarre as spaceman/rectal probe format, but still...

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 3:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I gave him a try...

I wrote:
Dear Ron Piret,

Your email (below) intrigued me hugely. I am VERY curious about what you wish to discuss with me.

thanks,
Thom


<====== Original Message ======>

As a trained U.S. Naval Oceanography; I've covered a wide range of marine life and ecosystems, ocean circulation, plate tectonics and the geology of the sea floor, the chemical and physical properties of the ocean. A lot have been discovered inside the Ocean which is yet to be disclosed as agreed with my team. We shall discuss further on mutual benefit upon receipt of your reply.

Please contact me only at my private email: [email protected]

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002
Deputy Director, TFCC


Lad wrote:
Hello Thomas,

We discovered useful materials under the Ocean, which includes boxes
belonging to dead passengers of the aircraft that crashed in January
2015 at Gulf of Mexico Caribbean Sea. Each of the two boxes contain
Six Million Dollars, which we hid behind Caribbean Sea for more than
one year. We cannot ship the boxes in our names because of our naval
reputation. If you have the credibility to handle the boxes then
forward your complete information for delivery schedule, also bear in
mind that 30% of the total content will be yours at successful end of
this transaction. Myself and my Colleague will visit you as soon as
the boxes are confirmed in your hands.

I await your reply to determine the necessary steps to magnificent success.

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002
Deputy Director, TFCC
Call me +1 999 999 9999


I feel there might be some illegality with stealing dead people's stuff so soon...

I wrote:
Dear Ronald,

Thank you for your quick informations about your offer.

I can totally understand what you wrote about your position in the US Navy and why you need outside help. But isn't this stealing from the dead passengers' relatives? The accident only happened last year so those relatives will still be mourning their loved ones being killed in the crash. How can we take their money and still have peace of mind? The amount of money is tempting and beyond what I've ever seen in my life but it feels, I dunno, wrong somehow. If you could explain this to me, please?

cheers!


Lad wrote:
Dear Thomas *****,

We shall cover the shipping charges and the boxes will be declared Sea
Food with relevant materials to protect the shipment in your favor.
Also the customs clearing in your state will not cost you more than
Nine Hundred and Fifty Dollars because the weight of the boxes will be
calculated as sea food. We have made everything possible to guarantee
our smooth success hence we anticipate your deepest business
relationship to utilize this magnificent opportunity without hitches.
If you are willing to handle this transaction accordingly then quickly
provide your complete address, your full name, mobile phone number and
your personal photo for recognition.

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002


He still doesn't address the morality issue so I try again.

I wrote:
Dear Ronald,

Thank you for replying so quickly.
I don't think you read my message properly, though.
I'm worried that the relatives of the deceased passengers will come looking for their loved ones' money and belongings. It was only a year ago so they will still be looking for things like that. I think I know why you want my help. MY NAME will be associated with this shipment of the boxes, so the relatives will come hunting for me, not for you. Are you sure I will not be hunted down by the relatives of the dead passengers? How can I prevent this? I'm worried, Ron.


Lad wrote:
Sir,

Nobody will ever search for anything under the ocean, besides there
many missing fligh which government could not detect and i told you
earlier that we discovered a lot under sea of which we cannot disclose
everything for now. Nobody knows about the crashed flight because it
was recorded as missing flight which parts were consumed by fire and
water has flowed the parts away.

If you are willing to handle this transaction accordingly then quickly
provide your complete address, your full name, mobile phone number and
your personal photo for recognition.

Regards,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002


Just admit we'll be grave-robbing and we can move on!

I wrote:
Dear Ronald,

I appreciate your reply, but please understand my worries. The crash was so soon that this IS technically stealing from the relatives. I know I'm going on about it, but if you want me to get into this business then I want to make sure I won't be in trouble. You said no one will miss the crash. Really? Imagine if YOUR parents were on that plane and they failed to come back. You would certainly miss the flight! You would certainly know that something bad happened to your parents.
I WANT to help you but I won't get into something illegal or immoral. Please understand this.
The details you asked for...
Thomas Mark ******
<fake address>
UK
Mobile: <baiter phone number>
I don't have a photo of myself on this computer but I'll send one when I get onto a computer that has one.


Lad wrote:
Dear Mark ******,

I have been trying your phone number without success hence quickly
provide the number that you can be reached also you can call me on
this number +1 999 999 9999 but i don't answer private calls, so when
your calling you must use your mobile line so that it will be appear
on my phone.


I called his number but it just rang a few times and then switched to a text-me recording telling me I can SMS the number if I want.

I wrote:
Dear Ronald,

I tried calling you but I got no answer. Perhaps you're busy? Why did you want to speak to me? Is it something you can't put in writing?
Hope to hear from you soon.


Lad wrote:
The shipping invoice will not be endorsed without speaking with you
because diplomat will not have the opportunity to email you, the
diplomat will only sms and speak with you on phone upon his arrival in
your area. You must sincerely handle this deal if truly you want to
partner with us, hence provide your working number which you will be
communicated urgently to enable you receive the shipping invoice.

Regards,
Ronald J. Piret.


I get annoyed that he can't even use a telephone.

I wrote:
Sir,

I have provided you with a "working number" as you call it. Did you not see the attempts I made to call you? It rang for like a long time but no one answered. I use this number to call my wife and she calls me all the time when we are at work. I don't like your insinuations about it not being a valid number. I picked it especially because those number mean a lot to me and my wife!

Get back to me with some serious words this time, please, because your inability to use modern telephones is not going to ruin this business, okay?


Lad wrote:
Sorry


Yes, it was just one word. Is he apologizing because he sees I'm offended? Or is he saying "sorry, I don't want to deal with you"? Rather sensitive lad if the latter.

I wrote:
Ron,

What does "sorry" mean in full? Are you apologizing for insulting me about my telephone and we're going to go ahead with this business? I do hope so because I will apologize a bit myself and admit I was perhaps a little bit harsh towards you. Sorry about that. Let's not spoil things and go forward with this procedure, okay?

Thomas


Will he reply? I'll have to wait and sea.

Um...

See.

EDIT: Well, that didn't take long for a reply!

Lad wrote:
We cannot work with you sorry


He's not getting the last word.

I wrote:
Ron,

What?!? Just because you can't use a telephone??? Are you an idiot or something? Look up on YouTube for videos on how to use a telephone, I'm sure there will be some for your level of understanding.
This is SO annoying. You naval people are all the same, all promises and can't ever deliver.
I'm going outside to kick some fences now to vent my anger at your incompetence.
Maybe you can go away, too, for a few minutes and have a good long think about what you're doing here.
Get back to me when you've come to your senses, okay?

angrily,
Thomas

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BitaTrouble
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 4:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I just got a piggy and a mule to warn (reported both) from Piret's diplomat.

Piret said the fee was $950, but then the diplomat's script said it was $3,785 and included the offer to provide a bank account. I didn't even have to go through the usual "I can't use Western Union" stuff!

I'm playing a retired fisherman living on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico, btw. Smile

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Doctor Seviche
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's just so odd that the lads character last name is "Piret," and he is in fact a pirate. Is the lad purposely being silly, or could this all be a lark from some non-lad?

Where were the bank accounts the lad sent you located?

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Volnutt
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 7:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's being rather stubborn, refusing to go off script. I'm going to try an aquarium owner angle to see if I can get him to shift

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Doctor Seviche wrote:

Where were the bank accounts the lad sent you located?


It's a credit union in Bedford, Texas and the mule lives in Euless, Texas.

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"I AM HIGHLY EMBARASSED AND I FEEL MOST INSULTED, FOR SENOR WINCES TO STAND ME UP AT THE FLAMINGO RESTURANT FOR OVER 1hr45mins I THINK THIS IS THE HIGHT OF INSULT EVER ON MY PERSONALITY." - Aliji Gambo
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pete515
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ @ Doctor S - Believe it or not Cmdr Piret is a real person in the U.S. navy. - talk about people's names matching their professions!

http://greenfleet.dodlive.mil/climate-change/leadership/cmdr-ron-piret-2/

Despite being the first to open this topic the lazy Lad has yet to respond to my reply email.

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United Kingdom

"..a strange voice like a wild pussy cat yelled at me and then paused......It was terrible, I nearly threw my phone away, and it scared me." Lad talks to a fax machine.

"mother remember I trusted you with all my hearth, remember I fouled with my blood that I am ready to take you as my biological mother remember I gave you my hope, my spirit and soul that you will lie to me or cheat me" Elinah Kipkalya
"you sun of a beach ".."you foolish and bustard stinking dead dog". More from the fragrant Elinah 4 weeks later.
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Volnutt
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 12:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^That's odd, he gets a little pushy with me if I go quiet for a day or two

Quote:
You gave me the assuring that you will not hesitate to collect the trunks from the delivery agent upon his arrival in your area, now that diplomat have arrived peacefully i need to know why you are delaying to clear the boxes as agreed. Your delay to achieve our final success will attract top investigation agencies because the trunks are heavily loaded and very big in size, also every non-inspection delivery of such size must be cleared swiftly to avoid hitches. Please do not allow anything to destroy the great relationship that we have build(What great relationship?) because myswlf and my colleague is planning to visit you next week for the collection of our share of the funds.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 1:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

He gets emotional when I move too slowly..
Quote:
I am crying deep down my mind and praying that my great carer which i
build over the years will not be ruined out of ignorance.
Please make
sure you finalize this transaction urgently and update us immediately
you settle the customs clearing charges, so that my soul will be
peaceful
while expecting the diplomat to proceed to your house with
the boxes vehemently. I will be here accessing my email in every ten
minutes
to receive the final good news from you.


I told him to man up. Mr. Green

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Volnutt
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 28 Jul 2015
Posts: 64
Location: Somewhere over there


PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The lad tries to convince me he's legit:

Quote:
Dearest Dr Miles Norfolk,

We are brothers (My parents have some explaining to do!) and i cannot deceive you because we have reputations to protect, i will never be involved in any illegal transaction in my life, please believe me because the diplomat will deliver directly to your doorstep and nobody will know the content of the boxes because it is fully sealed and the unlock codes will be provided to you when the boxes are confirmed in your hands. Finally, it may interests you to know that we shall declare the content as Seafood and the sample picture will be attached to the invoice so that your delivery will be handled swift and smooth.

We look forward to receive your complete address and your cell phone number to prepare the shipping invoice and pay the necessary charges to enable the diplomat depart to your house today.

God bless you,
CDR Ron Piret, 0002

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Closed lad accounts x6 x71 Bacon farm: now with two pork varieties
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