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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Moses pokes him:

Quote:

Hello Reverend Jonathan!

I do hope that you had a pleasant Tanks-Giving Turkey Day? I had a meal with several members of our conglomerate last night.

Have you had a chance to fulfull the forms of membership applicantion yet? It has been quite a while since I have heard from you. I do hope that things are proceeding well and you continue covorting many wicked Muslims toward the ways of the Old Gods!

Gods bless and I do hope the hear from you soonest.

Pastor Moses

He's still working on them:

Quote:

Hello Pastor Moses

Yes i will send the filled form soon i am working on it, Every day i keep preaching the Good news to win the Heart of the those Wicked Muslims to God Okay.

May God be Praise

Moses lets him know about a recent convort that just got his grant payment. Perhaps it will help light a fire under his lazy ass..

Quote:

We are all looking forward to your full membership into the Church my brother!

Wonderful news! One of our newest members just completed his devolution and received his $125,000 grant. It is a joyous day for us here at the church. Brother Emmanual is from a country called Mali and he is the breecher at a church there. He has been convorting Muslims at an amazing rate. We are so excited to welcome him into the folds!

Please Reverend, it would be wonderful if you completed the forms and we could continue the process so we could have you a full-flogged member of the Church by Christmas(not likely). I do wait to hear from you!

Pastor Moses

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:11 am

Roger asks Jonathan if he has completed the form:

Quote:

Have you completed the application that Pastor Moses sent you? Of course I am willing to send the money for your cavorts, but remember we agreed that you needed to fill the form first. Let me know when you have completed it, then I will direct my banker Mr Hilts to send the money to you.

Roger responds acidly to Robert:

Quote:

I am confused by your email. What do you mean by transaction details? You didn't explain your membership in the Church, you don't return emails on time, and we have not discussed what work you are going to do for me. Why should I employ you as a banker?

I'm going to make him work a little to earn Roger's trust with this character.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 1:25 am

Jerry is surprisingly unfazed by the delay caused by the bank audit:

Quote:

How are you doing? My man Okay there is no problem with that please tell him to do it as soon as possible Okay.
Will it take up to Two weeks???

I was planning to take only a week, but I'm not going to argue with a lad who extends the time frame for me. Very Happy

Robert explains his scam a bit further to Hilts:

Quote:

How are you doing? I am acting like a professional banker Okay that i can help him for wire and Transfers of all His business Transactions of all kinds but the Money will get to your Table first Okay.

I still don't see the scam there. Roger has no incentive to pay him.

Jonathan's grammar has gone to shit, but he agrees to send the form to Moses:

Quote:

How are you doing? i will forward it Okay but i will you to send the money to us your self base on Directive Okay, once the Form is sent to Pastor Moses, Then How to us money here will follow.

And Robert still hasn't explained to Roger properly:

Quote:

How are you doing? You don't need to be confuse Okay i am at your service, what i mean by transaction what do you want me to do for you and my charges is 10% of the Job Okay.

I want you to send me the details of transfer you want to make Okay.

Roger will continue to be unimpressed.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 10:59 pm

Hilts tells Jerry that the audit could take a while:

Quote:

I don't know yet how long the auditioning will take. I'm gonna try and get a hold with my buddy today and ask him, but I know he's really busy. These usually take about a week or two though. Last one I had at my bank took 10 days.

Like I said, don't worry about a thing. As soon as the auditioning at my buddy's bank is done, you'll get your cash. You can bank on that.

I'll probably have Hilts dangle him for another week, before moving on to the next obstacle for the lad.

Hilts also explains that Robert's scam isn't going to work without a better story:

Quote:

Ok, I get that your game is to play a banker, but what's the scam? What did you promise him that would make him want to give you cash? You can tell him all you like about being a banker, but he ain't gonna give you a goddam green cent if he doesn't think he has a reason to. Even a stupid sum bitch like Roger isn't that fucking dumb.

Look, you gotta come up with an invective for him, you know, something that will make him want to pay you. It's gotta be in his interest. Like you could tell him he won something, or some rich guy died and left money to him or some shit.

Anyway, let me know what you come up with, then I'll work with you.

We'll make the lad work a little harder to come up with a new format.

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:05 am

Jerry asks Hilts for an advance on the cash:

Quote:

How are you doing? Have you been able to Hear from your Buddy in regards the Duration?? Please i need $5,000 for an emergency purpose, can you help me transfer it into An Account in Bank of America? Please let me know so that i can forward the Bank Account for you where i wait for your buddy to be through with his Bank Auditioning Okay.

My Man i count on you Please do not let me down.

I wanted to tell him no and slap him for asking for money to be sent in the open, but realized that if I told him maybe, I could get a piggy. So Hilts says maybe:

Quote:

I was able to get a hold with my buddy, he said the auditioning is gonna take another week, but it will be done this Friday. So next Monday he should be able to do the drop dead transfer.

Regarding this bullshit with a Bank of America account, if you really can't wait a week for your cash, you can send the account details to me. I can check it and see if I am able to do some tricky shit with escrow encryption null tracing. But I'm not sure that will work. It probably wouldn't be completely safe, and I'm not gonna do it if it's not completely goddam safe.

Like I told you a hundred fucking times, the only way I can be sure of sending money to you completely safely is by doing money laundry and a drop dead transaction. I'm not going to goddam pound me in the ass federal prison for 10 years because you need 5 large a week faster. I know it sucks to wait, but remember, this is your fucking fault for taking your goddam sweet time with the security picture.

Let's see what he says.

Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:36 am

Jerry sends Hilts the Bank of America account:

Quote:

How are you doing? Thank for your Reply please i just need $5,000 Urgently Not All so this safe Okay. i want you to wire the funds into the Account Then send me the Transfer slip or any confirmation Please Okay. Below is the Bank Account Please.

BANK NAME: Bank of America.
Account number: 2370<snip>
Account Name. S O
Swift code: BOFAUS3N
BANK ADDRESS. <snip> Charlotte North Carolina

Once again Thanks for your Understanding Okay.

The account has been reported, it looks like a Nigerian accomplice in the USA.

Can lads seriously not get away from their fixation with needing payment slips? Hilts will take issue with that tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Anyone who is good at math is welcome to check the accuracy of #25 and #26. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:19 am

^ Jonathan sends Roger the same forms:

Quote:

How are you doing? this is the completed for Okay i wan you to get back to me so that i can give directive on how to wire the funds to us Okay

Roger says he will consult with his pastor:

Quote:

I am very pleased that you have completed the form that Pastor Moses sent you. I will discuss it with him and let you know what he says. If he approbates it, I will start the procession for sending you the money for your cavorts. I am so exited that you are making progress in your membership!

Jonathan is eager for the next step:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail i am so pleased Okay, you have been there for me and my ministry here in Africa please let me know what is the next step because my member here are very eager to know more about the Church of the Old Gods Okay. Currently i now have 0ver 60 cavort majorly Muslim ...

Once this funds get here we start to build a church here in Africa for the worship center and more to come.

I think this lad needs to build something alright. He might be a good candidate for the exciting opportunity to build a Monument of Faith...

The lad is still trying to open another angle up on Roger, using his banker character Robert. But Roger is still skeptical of him:

Quote:

What transfer are you talking about? I don't have any transfer I need to make through you. You have not explained at all why I should work with you. My banker Mr Hilts does just fine when I need to transfer money, and he doesn't charge me a ridiculous fee like 10% (The lad should find this amusing, because Hilts has admitted to the lad that he routinely skims money from Roger's accounts at his bank) Why should I work with you?

The lad makes a feeble attempt at a format:

Quote:

As i told you early i am a professional banker and your Banker Mr Hilts has confirm that Okay, There is a business proposal i will like to introduce to you, Our Banking rules is every year will undergoes Accreditation and clearance of funds so this Year we found 60M USD on a dead Account so with that we can Only Move the Funds to Churches and Worship centers without no Delay so if you are interested Please let us now so that My General Manager can Process the Transfer Okay.

I am waiting for your reply on this Proposal

Roger will be interested, and have some questions about this when he replies.

Meanwhile, Hilts gently informs Jerry that he can't do a payment slip:

Quote:

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? You seriously want me to send you cash in the open, then give you a goddam payment slip? Jesus, you really must be brain dead. No, beyond brain dead. Your feeble-minded, drug-addled whore of a mother must have fed you pure lead when you were a kid, because I definitely explained this shit already and you said you understood, but your still not getting it. So I'll say it again: I can't send you money in the open. If I do that, the Feds will know I am working with scammers and I'll get nailed.

And even if I did loose my goddam mind and decided to risk sending your dumb ass money in the open, I can't leave a fucking paper trail by sending you a payment slip. If the fucking Feds see that shit, I'm gonna get sent strait to pound me in the ass prison. First rule of being a slick banker, you never leave a paper trail when your doing this shit. That's like begging the judge "please convect me, I want to get my asshole ripped open in prison". Seriously, you need to get a fucking brain.

No, this needs to be done by the back door. I can try doing the transfer using my trick, and the money will be deposited in that account with no record of a transfer. But I can't send you a payment slip, because I'm not fucking stupid enough to leave a goddam paper trail. Holy hell, I still can't believe you asked me for that.

Jerry meekly accepts:

Quote:

Okay i want to send the by back door Okay and get back to me Please sorry for asking you of the transfer slip Okay., Once the money is deposited please update me Okay.

Hilts will take his sweet time about this, then reject the account. And his buddy will have some bad news for Jerry on Monday.

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

The solution to 25 is

x=.045455 arcsin(43pqy(b-37))-0.29684

I used a computer algebra system, and apparently the son of Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan did not.

I'm not going to even attempt to answer #26. I'll take his word for it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

#25 reminds me of high school when the algebra teacher would sometimes give you half-credit for showing your work... so you'd just write down a bunch of nonsense and hope for the best.

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:17 am

Nice work, Labowski. Its great to see those forms continuing to enrich the lives of lads. He did a surprisingly good job with it too - pretty much every time I've had a lad fill that application out, the first attempt has always contained a lot of "I don't know"s and questions left blank.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Nicely done on the forms. The Snorkys have been quiet for some time now, but all charges have been dropped thanks to the legal expertise of their lawyer Penold. Big X, what do you think about Mr. Hilts chewing our lad out for calling him, as he should know that phone conversation is a big breach of operational security. Hilts has sent the $5k to the Mr. Snorky account as instructed, but one more phone call and the whole deal is off. I love to hear him whine that HE NEVER CALLS!

Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:20 pm

^ That could be a fun spin if needed. For now, the lad seems to be content to wait for Hilts's buddy on Monday.

Hilts tells the lad that his trick doesn't work on the provided account:

Quote:

Dude, for some reason I can't get my back door trick to work for the account you gave me. What kind of account is it? Checking, savings, current, money marketing, or CDOP? (The last two are made up)

If you got another account, I can try that, but I don't think this one is gonna work. You might be better off waiting for my buddy to send the cash with the drop dead transaction on Monday.

Jerry says he will wait:

Quote:

How are you doing? The Account is a Checking Account please try and make the wire Transfer, But if its does not go through then i wait until on Monday for your Buddy Update base on the Transfer Okay but is just that i need Cash very urgent to settle so debit Okay my Man i trust you can help me and you know what is BEST to do.

Hilts will reply on Monday.

Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:37 pm

Hilts tells Jerry he can't do the back door transfer:

Quote:

I can't do the back door trick for a checking account, it needs to be a savings account or CDOP. Anyway, I'm gonna call my buddy today and see where he's at with the auditioning at his bank. With any luck, it'll be all finished and he can do the drop dead transaction today. Sit tight, we're almost there.

Jerry asks if he should send another account:

Quote:

How are you doing? Ok, but i just my friend just told me that The Bank Account is Saving Account so try your best to check if the Transfer will go through, in any case also should i send a new Account????

Get back to me update from your Buddy Xmas is here Already my Man i need Funds (likely the real reason why he is so desperate to get the cash fast)

Hilts will ask him for another account tomorrow. I'm delaying giving him the bad news about Hilts's buddy, but the other shoe will drop soon enough.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 01 May 2011 Posts: 51

Amazing work, folks. This seriously has to be the laziest, stupidest lad I've ever read. Truly exceptional. I'm hoping you all can get him to safari but it seems he can't be bothered to do anything even when it's right in front of him.

Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:46 pm

Hilts tells Jerry that his buddy can no longer send the money the way he wanted it:

Quote:

Dude, I got a hold with my buddy this morning. The auditioning at his bank is done, and he's clean and clear for another couple years, but I got some bad news.

Usually the government auditioners are fucking morons, but this time the bastards managed to found the loop hole with the null route back tracer my buddy was gonna use to send you the cash in the drop dead transfer. My buddy's not in trouble with the law or anything, but he's gotta be careful. Now that they know about that weakness in the system, they're gonna fix the issue in the bank transfer software, and until they do, they'll be watching it closely. He can't send money that way anymore. Leave it to the fucking Feds to ruin a good thing, eh?

Don't worry though. There's always more than one way to skin a squirrel, and we'll find another way to send the cash to you. Just sit tight, and be rest assured, we're working on the problem. I'll let you know what we come up with.

Jerry won't like the solution that Hilts comes up with. But hopefully it will get him on safari. Twisted Evil

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Jan 2009 Posts: 124

Big X wrote:

There's always more than one way to skin a squirrel

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:22 am

Jerry is surprisingly calm about the drop transfer being thwarted:

Quote:

How are you doing? I am so grateful that your buddy is not in any Trouble Okay Please i want you to find way out in non distance time and make the Transfer Okay

i will be waiting for your update Okay, My regards to your buddy.

Hilts will give him the solution in a couple days, but he's not going to like it.

Meanwhile, Roger accepts Jonathan's Church application:

Quote:

I am pleased to be able to tell you that your application has been approbated by the Elders! You are well on your way to becoming a full member of our Church!

Now, you said you have 60 Mohammedan Muslim cavorts for the Church parish that you are starting there? Can you give me a list of their names? Once I have their names, I can send you a bank transfer with the money for them. I believe we agreed on $1000.00 dollars per cavort, right?

I will also speak to Pastor Moses about starting the next stage of your membership precession. I am so very exited that you are going to be a member of the Church!

I am deciding on a few possible things I can make him do. First we get his hopes up that he can get a quick $60,000.

Roger asks questions about Robert's offer:

Quote:

I am confused by your proposal. I understand that you have an accretion precess every year, but who's money is the $60 millions dollars you mentioned? And how do I come into it? Can you please explain?

The lad is hopelessly off script and just winging it. I'm interested to see how he plays it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

I haven't been posting my correspondence between JG's uncle and the lad, but there has basically been a month or more of the lad telling him to travel to the UK and locate a Western Union, while JG's uncle has asked if New Mexico, West Carolina, or The Yukon Territories might be better choices. Here's the last few days:

Lad:

Quote:

WHAT IS GOING ON??? ARE YOU IN UK NOW, JG want to speak with You!!!!!

Uncle:

Quote:

YES I JUST ARRIVE IN UK!!!! TELL ME WHAT TO DO NOW!??!?!?

Lad:

Quote:

OKAY HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE WITH YOU NOW??? CAN YOU LOCATE MONEY GRAM OFFICE THERE??? GET BACK TO ME NOW SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION NEEDED FOR THE PAYMENT OKAY.

Uncle:

Quote:

I am here!! You have not told me where to send the FUCKING PAYMENT!?!?
WHERE DO I SEND THE FUCKING PAYMENT!!!! TELL ME!!!

Lad:

Quote:

WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM MONEY TRANSFER INFORMATION

Receiver's Name: SEMPA <snip>
Receiver's Country: INDIA
Receiver's State: Bangalore
Amount. $2,500
After the payment has been made you are to send the following details down.

Sender's name:
Sender's Country:
Sender State:
Mtcn (Money Transfer Control Number)

NOTE. YOU ARE TO SEND JG THE SCANNED PAYMENT RECEIPT FOR CONFIRMATION AND VERIFICATION BASE ON MY REPUTATION AS A MAN OF GOD.
MAKE SURE YOU GO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE WITH YOUR WITH THE CORRECT NAME WELL SPELLED AND PROPERLY PLACED..

GO AND MAKE THE PAYMENT NOW

Uncle:

Quote:

OK i am in the UK now and i Just sent the $2500.00 OK!!!

I withdrew the money and went at the Money gram office and sent the
money to the recipient you gave me. Sender name is Chuck Todd, country
is UK.

I was warned to never disclose the reference number over the internet so to receive all payment details and the reference number to claim the money you need to call <snip> and enter PIN code 272867.

Let me know once you have claimed the money OK!! Tell me when JG gets
the money OK!?!!

^^I gave him the number to the awesome voicemail set up by Frost in HH&T here: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=271838&start=0

Lad doesn't like it:

Quote:

Hello

How are you doing? I want you to know that there is no hacker here over my mail Okay due to my Position as a PASTOR JG is not happy with this ideal go to he Money Gram Make a open payment send Us the Scanned copy of the receipt and the Reference number respectively Okay. Without the scanned receipt JG will not believe you have sent the Payment Laughing

Go now there is no time to waste In the receipt we can see the Test Question and Answer and Other information needed.

Go now and get back to us

I will now go silent for a few days. Hopefully he will call and attempt to submit the pin number.

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 3:54 pm

Sweet that you got him to use one of your characters to leverage another. Outstanding baiting!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Our lad is not happy with JG's uncle:

Quote:

HELLO JG IS NOT HAPPY WITH YOU ITS VERY HARD FOR HIM HERE TO EVEN CALL OKAY SO GO BACK TO THE MONEY GRAM OFFICE USED THE BELOW INFORMATION AND SEND US THE SCANNED RECEIPT OF THE PAYMENT THERE IS NO HACKER IN MY MAIL ITS WAS REGISTER ON THE INTERPOL COMMUNICATION SO I WILL STAY ONLINE TO WAIT FOR YOUR REPLY, JG NEED TO SPEND XMAS IN USA.

Quote:

WHERE IS THE FUCKING PAYMENT RECEIPT???? SEND IT NOW...

JG IS NOT HAPPY I HAVE BEEN ONLINE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY...

More silence from Uncle Chuck. Meanwhile, JG finally writes to the lad and gives him an update on his current situation:

Quote:

JERRY I JUS GOT BACK ON THE INTERNETS!!! AM OUT OF MONEE BRO NOBODY IS COME FOR ME WAT THE FUCK DO I DO I NEED OUT OF HERE I SPEND ALL MY MONEY AND HAVE BEEN PORSTITUTIONING MYSELF FOR MONEY I HAVE TO SELL MY MOUTH AND ASSHOLE FOR MONEY TO EAT I AM REALLY POPLAR IN THIS VILLAGE BECAUS I AM THE ONLY WHITE PORSTITE HERE SO I AM MAKING GOOD MONEY BUT STILL IT IS JUS ENOFF TO EAT AND I HAVE TO LET MEN FUCK MY BUTTHOLE AN MOUTH I CANT GIVE HANDJOBBERS BECUSE MR BINGO CUT MOST OF MY FINGLERS OFF!!!!! SO IT LITERLY SUUUUUKKKS BRO I AM JUS SUKING SUKING SUKIN ALLLL DAY!!! U GOTTA GET ME THE FUK OUTTA HERE HEEEELP MEEEEE!!!!!

JG

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

This lad is a turd and deserves to be punished to the depths of hell. Poor JG, out there all alone and lacking even the fingers to provide a decent hand job. Crying or Very sad

I'm thinking about having Mr. Snorky email the lad. All the Snorkys have been recently released from jail. It seems as if the old woman who was going to testify against them met with a tragic accident.

Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:27 pm

Jonathan wants to become a full Church member by Christmas:

Quote:

How are you doing? Okay i will forwards name to you shortly, i want to tell the Elder that i can so grateful and glad that God Almighty will Bless them Respectively Okay.

Please help me to tell Pastor Moses to response to my Mail so that i can Become a full member before the Xmas Time and so happy once again Thanks.

Ya, that's not going to happen. Jonathan is going to have to endure a long and arduous process in order to be a member.

Robert invents a new disease that Roger's beneficiary is dying from:

Quote:

How are you doing? This is a real Business (it always amuses me when lads go out of their way to reassure you that everything is legit and not a scam, even when you haven't accused them of anything yet) The $60 Millions dollar is currently in Our Bank and the Customer whom own the Money is sick and want to use the money as a seed to Church and individual for prayers before His death, Because the sick is High its cancer of the Heart, so if you are ready now to pay for the cost of Transfer we can wire this funds to you immediatley so think about it and get back to us

Roger will have more questions about the heart cancer.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

I'm thinking about having Mr. Snorky email the lad.

^^Personally I like the idea. This lad has been a bit more compliant since he's not so worried about Snorky, but he was a lot more fun when he was getting chopped repeatedly. I will start bringing JG back and see where things go from there.

Lad, apparently unphased by the fact that JG is selling himself to raise funds, asks:

Quote:

HELLO

HOW ARE YOU DOING?? OK HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE NOW???

WRITE ME BACK

JG checks in:

Quote:

WELL I GAVE 32 BLOJOBS YESTERDAY SO I HAV $320 DOLLERS I HAVE BEEN CHARING 10 PER BLOJOB AN IF THEY WAN EXTRA THEY PAY FOR IT I DON GIV IT AWAY FOR FREE U KNOW?!?!? I NEED TO RASE ENOUFF MONEY TO GET THE FUK OUT OF THIS FUKING CUNTRY CUZ I LIKED MONTHANA WAAAAAY BETTER BRO!!!

WERE THE FUK R U/???? HOW MANY BLOJOBS DO U TINK I NEED TO GIVE TO GET OUT OF HERE BRO?? I CAN PRETTY MUCH GIVE AS MANY AS I WANT CUZ THERE ARE MEN COMING FROM ALL OVER FROM DIFRENT VILLAGES THAY ALL HERD THAT THERE IS A WITE GUY GIVING RELLY GOOD BLOJOBS AND THEY ARE ALL COMING TO PAY ME THE $10 SO THAT IS GOOD AT LEAST I CAN RASE SOME MONEY QUICK I TINK!!!!

HOW MANY BLOJOBS SHOULD I GIVE???? HOW MUCK MONEY DO U NEED TO HELP ME?? HAVE U HERD FROM MY UNKLE?? MY FINGLERS HURT ITS HARD TO GIVE HANDJOBBERS WIT ONLY 2 FINGLERS BRO!??!!??!?!

JG

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Mr. Snorky, freshly released from from prison, contacts our hero

Quote:

Greetings and salutations Mr. Lucky. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is 0swald Cobblepot Sn0rky. I believe that while you do not know me personally you do know my reputation. You no doubt have read that I was recently incarcerated. That means that I was in prison awaiting numerous charges by the United States of America government and Interpol. I was recently released from prison due to the untimely demise of the elderly lady who was set to testify against me. This lady was out walking her dog when a two ton safe fell from the sky, crushing her dog and giving her a fatal heart attack. That was a shame. I love animals.

There are some who claim that I am the leader of an international group of criminals who call themselves the Snorky Bloyz. I believe you are familiar with one of my alleged minions, a Mr. Feathers McGraw. You have allegedly been a top earner for the Snorky Boyz, and thanks to your efforts you have provided alleged funds in excess of two million dollars into the Snorky Boyz coffers. For that I would like to allegedly thank you. I would also like to take the opportunity to make things right with you. Allegedly.

Our most excellent lawyer, a Mr. William Penfold, has told me that you owe him legal fees in excess of $30,000. Mr. Penfold had filed a lien of eater that freezes your bank accounts until these fees were paid. Since these fees were paid your accounts have been unfrozen. In addition we Snorkys allegedly made a large sum of money from chopping payments meant intended for you as a result of your criminal scamming. Allegedly. As a special gift to you I will allegedly instruct my most trusted minion Feathers McGraw to stop the alleged theft of your funds. This is my allegged gift to you.

One final thing. Could you please apologize to one JG and his uncle for any alleged wrongs done to them by any of my alleged minions? Please let them know that it was not personal, just alleged business.

Speaking hypothetically, my alleged minions make millions of dollars for me, and I pay them well. You have quite the talent for this line of business. Had we not allegedly stolen all of your customers you could allegedly be quite rich. Hypothetically speaking, you could make a small fortune as a Snorky Boy. I could hypothetically set you up with a list of clients and a crew to train and lead. If this hypothetical proposal is one that interests you I believe we can reach a business arrangement. I could even have Feathers reporting you to.

Best of luck and thank you for all you have allegedly done for the Snorky Boyz

0swald Cobblep0t Snorky