The Path of a TWAT -- Pastor Omar's tale of woe

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Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:01 pm

Howdy, all!

Does anyone remember our friend Pastor Omar from a couple of months back?

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=266253

Well, after a couple of months of silence, guess who just recently popped up in our mail boxes and, boy, does he have a story to tell...

Omar wrote:

Hello Ben!

Indeed its been a very hurrible experience for us all. Am deeply sorry
to have been silent for couple of months now was not intentional but
was quite beyond me.

How have you been? I would love to know if any word has been heard
from Anita and has she been realised to join you all back home?

Ben wrote:

Brother Omar!!!! How are you doing? We have been worried sick about you. I reached out so many times but you never returned our emails. Why? Are you okay? What happened? I need to know details of what happened please.

Please tell me if you are still interested in becoming a TWAT. Your donation hasn't been placed yet, as we've not found a suitable replacement. But I can see what I can do about your membership. Do you want me to talk to Phystme and see if I can get back in his graces?

Rev Amanda has sadly gone off the deep end. She is a full blown heroin addict.

Anita... She's still missing. We have had contact with her and she is alive still. But, we can't locate her.

Ben wrote:

Brother Omar,

As our year is wrapping up, we are making plans for the Circling of the CLIT. I am just curious if you wish to be included in this planning. Are you still interested in the church?

I need you to respond as soon as you can. This is taking far too long.

Do you have a number which Brother Bob can reach you?

Omar wrote:

Hello Ben,

I must say that above all else that I very much delighted for your
keen interest and regards you have shown and expressed all along,
indeed you are a worthy father.

Talking about my interest in the church, am still very much
interested in completing my entrance into the fold becoming fully
established in the church.

Here is my mobile number via I can be reached or contacted. <snip>!

I would appreciate a call from you in person so we can talk more often
outside sending or receiving mails from each other.

I honestly awaits your swift response.

Your Son!
Adams.

Ben wrote:

I will try to give you a call this week. But it is busy given the holiday (Thanksgiving). So please bear with me if I can't call this week.

I need to know this Omar... Are you serious about this church? I'm going to talk to Phystme. But I need to know you're serious here. I'm vouching for you. I'm going to be your mentor. So I need your word that you're going to be real and not disappear.

Do me a favour. Please write me a detailed reason of why you disappeared. I need to take it to the board and to Phystme. He is going to want to know why our most promising new member went AWOL. Can you do that for me?

More to come soon...

ETA 01/13/16: changed title

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:54 pm

Christmas has come early. This is amazing.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:06 pm

Omar gets back to Ben with a rather longish email. Isn't it amazing how Omar has no idea how hi-freakin'-larious his emails are?

Omar wrote:

Hello Ben,

It will be my utmost pleasure to hear from via phone conversation. I
want you to take out time to read this mail with keeninterest and try
to understand that if I was not serious about the church I would not
have taken the pain of building a monument of faith within a couple of
days, went through all the tedious request from Rev. Amanda and
William meticulously, giving my very best at every responsibility that
was entrusted to me at one point or the other. Also worthy of note
here is the fact that, if was not interested in the church and showing
the committment I would not have been nominated unanimously for the
prestigious "TWAT OF THE YEAR AWARD" which motivated me to travel day
and night for two weeks and three days all the SAHARA DESERT to get to
the conference, bought flight tickets at quite expensive rates to get
to CHAD, the most hostile, heartless kind of people I have ever met
all my life, enduring the pain of starvation, rejection and hostility
all in pursuit of making to the TWAT FIRE CONFERENCE.

Upon arrival from these hurrible experiences, I must confess that all
of got into me and was a very trying moments for me coupled with the
fact that I lost everything when I arrived home from the bulgary
incidence that happened. I tried to recorporate from the scratch all
over before I realised that my life was under serious threat following
Anita's adoption and her devulging of all contact details of mine to
the dreaded islamist group; getting all sort of strange calls and life
threatening mails became unbearble for that I had to go into serious
undercover which appeared to all that I disappeared not necessarily
but to stay out of reach to save my life since everything about me was
trailed by the group. Apart from that in my period of silence, I got
seriously ill and hospitalized for couple of weeks. A lot actually
happened that with time as we progress with everything that I will
make known to you as well.

I could not continue initially with our contact because I was in a
safe region within my country that do not have internet service all
this while. Thought of the option of contacting you if I could get an
invitation to come to you but I could not owing to the fact that the
money involved I do not have.

I want to work with and for the TWAT but I need you to help me out
here to be able to overcome these challenges on my way. Currently I
will be able to finish up all that is required and get inducted into
the FOLD but the challenges are numerous but if you are willing to
assist me all the way to get around these challenges, then its a done
deal for us both. I have given you my word and I do not intend going
back on my word!

Talking about Anita... How are her parents coping with her adoption?
Know it must be very disheartening but I know God Almighty will
console them and strengthen their hearts and Faith. Any recent
development about her whereabout and are the Authorities doing any
thing significant to her release and home coming? I feel her pains and
struggles she is going through in the hands of her adoptors. I pray
daily for her safe return and well being.

Awaits your swift response.

Yours Truly,

Adams.

Ben wrote:

Brother Omar,

I'm so pleased to know that you are well. I'll try to give you a call soon. As I said, with the holidays, it's difficult. I'm incredibly busy. But I always try to make time for you. I may try to have Brother Bob call you.

I am going to go to Phystme and tell him your story. I fact, I may forward over the email so he can read for himself.

Let me go ahead and tell you what I need if you want to come back into the good graces of the TWAT.

1. Please send over a picture of the Monument of Faith with you in front of it. A new one.

2. Also, can you make a list of items you had stolen during the time you were buggled? That way I can show Phystme exactly how much trouble you went through.

3. Tell me exactly what went wrong with you that put you in the hospital.

I know Phystme will ask about these things.

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:16 pm

Anita's adoption was indeed hurrible.

I'm so glad Omar's back for more hijinx an mayhem Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:17 pm

The bait that will not die!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:37 pm

Avalar wrote:

I'm so glad Omar's back for more hijinx an mayhem Very Happy

Me too, Avalar!

And, yes, Anita's "adoption" (along with Omar's "buggling") is my favorite new Omar-ism...

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:52 pm

I may have missed a few emails between Ben and Omar (Jojo can publish those) but here is some private correspondence (meaning that Omar was in no way bcc'd by Ben on these emails) between Ben and Phystme re: Omar's candidacy.

Ben wrote:

Rev Phystme,

I have some very interesting news. I received contact from Brother Omar. He has been in hiding from Boko Haram, his house was buggled and he has been in the hospital.

I know he just went AWOL and abandoned us, but I'm asking a favour. Please allow him back into the folds of the TWAT. I will personally be his mentor and I will put my name out there and take responsibility for him. I don't believe he will leave us high and dry again.

I know. Lot of people were upset because of the lack of Circling of the CLIT. But this has been a tough year for all of us.

I'm asking, please have grace on Brother Omar. I believe he is serious and wants to be reinstated as our TWAT of the Year and as a member of the CLIT.

I know he will not let us down again. He's like a son to me. He's important and I believe in him. He was so good to Anita. He was such a good example for her.

Please, is it possible for Omar to resume where he left off? Please, Rev William. I know Omar will be a great addition. I'm willing to put my own name on the line for it. Seriously. I will vouch for him.

I know it has been a busy week, but please get back with me as soon as possible. Omar is sending me a list of items he lost and a picture of his Monument of Faith.

Be Blessed,

Phystme wrote:

Dear Ben,

I know you want this to happen, I really do, but I think you needs must be realistic about this entire situation.

I know you believe that Omar is truly something special and, for the longest time, I wanted to believe it too. We were both at the FIRE this summer and We both witnessed the outpouring of love that Omar generated there. When was the last time that any of Us saw that many people who showed that much interest in the travels of one Initiate?

Now, to begin, I must say I am glad that you heard from Omar and that he is OK. We were all of Us very concerned when We stopped hearing from Omar so shortly after Our FIRE. If you remember, I was personally working with Omar on Our Act of Dedication and his placement of Our Sanctified and Holy Image of the TWAT before he stopped communicating with Me.

However, I think I must tell you -- and I hope you will not share this with him -- that I find Omar's lack of faith disturbing. We all have little problems come up in Our lives but when have any of Us forgotten the TWAT throughout those problems? It is the purpose of faith, is it not, to help Us overcome these little travails and to enable Us to see things through to Our ultimate reward.

Although I hate to bring this up, do you remember Rev. Obiekwe from a couple of years ago? He was sponsored by Rev. Maigari and everyone loved him and We all knew Rev. Obiekwe was going to spread the TWAT far and wide. Since he was all We dreamed of in a minster, We sent him a small amount of money in advance to help him attend the FIRE and he completely disappeared on Us. I remind you of this not to lecture you but just so you remember that there is a reason why you -- and not Rev. Maigari -- are Our Director of Membership.

I trust your judgment, Ben, so if you really believe that Omar is The One, and if he is truly serious in his faith and dedication, and if you are willing to take full responsibility for him as his sponsor, I will allow Omar to be reinstated as Our TWAT of the Year and to be considered for re-entry to the CLIT. Since I have previously agreed to do so I will, of course, volunteer My time to help Omar with his Act of Dedication.

Remain Blessed,

Ben wrote:

I truly do believe Omar is Serious. I'm willing to put my name and credibility on the line for him.

I believe he had a rough time in Chad. I don't think he enjoyed it at all.

Omar is like a son to me. I don't think he will turn out like the last TWAT that let our church down. I know he is willing.

As I said, I will personally be his mentor. I will treat him as my own family. I believe in him more than I've ever believed in any TWAT.

Phystme wrote:

Ben, Ben, Ben...

We have worked together for so long now, and never have you or your counsel ever steered Me wrong.

If you are truly willing to put your name and your reputation within Our Church on the line for Omar, who am I to tell you that you cannot? I have asked around, and many other people have told Me that they would love to see Omar return to the folds of Our TWAT. With your mentorship and guidance, Omar could not have a better foundation upon which to build his Rock of Faith.

I wish you the best of luck, My friend -- and, again, I hope you will not share this with him -- but I do hope you realize what you are doing and what the consequences will be should Omar let you or Me down again.

Good luck with everything, and I hope to see you soon!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 6:59 pm

I realised that my life was under serious threat following
Anita's adoption and her devulging of all contact details of mine to
the dreaded islamist group

Oops! Embarassed

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Dec 2015 Posts: 4

As you can see from my profile I have been a member of this forum for a short time.

The chronicles of this particular TWAT made me read his previous post from start to the very last 59th page of it. I am truly in awe. Amazed even.

And now he has returned! Brilliant. As a complete newbie, if I could do half of what this guy has gone through I'd be happy.

Keep it up, I will be checking in for developments between reading up on the hints and tips to start my own journey!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:13 pm

Heh! A Lad's graphic description of his suffering really embellish a Safari Thread!

Thumbs up

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:44 pm

Maybe in a few weeks once the form has more questions you can send in my form just to see how things are going. If he sees my email address in their and asks who it is, just say that I'm a very busy technical person in the TWAT. Although it is also in its own thread, here's the link if you want to look at it:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1thGHQitLB9rS93AxVnMW0ZI8urvPqVllDia3zbKLFEM/

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:56 pm

This is soooo beautiful!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 11:00 pm

I am overwhelmed by the awesomeness of Omar's return! I can't wait to read the further adventures of this bait!

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3876

^^

I'm glad too

the foremost question is: is the pyramid okay? if not, that's going to be his first step: fix the pyramid Twisted Evil

.

does TWAT believe in a christmas pyramid?

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Omar!!!

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:07 am

I'm very pleased to see that Omar is back and ready for another round of lad pain. Can't wait to see what misery you folks put him through over Christmas. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 1:09 am

Haha! I knew he would be back Very Happy

.

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 2:44 am

05/29/15

Welcome the Prodigal !!!

Congratzzz, TLH Laughing

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

Have fun folks Smile

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:29 am

Yippee!!!

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:42 am

Awesome news! I too have faith in TWAT Omar and pray to the good Lord that he is welcomed back into the fold of the CLIT!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 Apr 2015 Posts: 11

Turd on the move, Omar back. This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

Can't wait to see the new improved pyramid, Omar spreading the word by getting the community to reenact the Christmas story in front of the pyramid, taking a daily advent calendar style photo in front of it with an Xmas theme, giving gifts to a real orphanage, putting up silly posters warning about boko haram and camels. Sure you all have loads of better ideas.

He must want/need to show his faith and get back into Phystme's good books? He won't be invited to next years meet up if he doesn't!

Master Baiter Joined: 28 Jan 2009 Posts: 124

Awesome!

This is the thread that got me trying to do my own TWAT bait, you are a big inspiration for me! Keep up the good work!

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 11:07 am

I am so thrilled Omar is back in our grasp. We are working on a few things with him, getting him back into the TWAT and all. But I really do hope he is still the same gem he was before.

I can't wait to see what kind of love he has for us.

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