Kevin the Idiot - wooed, screwed and tattooed - Year 3

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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 3:18 pm

Anita returns to work. Ladtop, hmmmm...

Anita: I received your apology. Thank you for that.
Idiot Lad: U are welcome
Idiot Lad: I hope u have forgiven me?
Anita: Did you complete the application? Bear with me, I am getting used to a new ladtop computer.
Idiot Lad: So how was ur vacation
Idiot Lad: Do not understand what u mean by if I complete the application
Anita: Weren't you applying for work with us? Sorry. I'm still working with this new ladtop. It's fast, but I'm not used to Windows 10.
Idiot Lad: Yes I am
Idiot Lad: Darla will see to that
Anita:See to what? The ladtop? I bought it from her for $300! Brand new and she wanted to get rid of it!
Idiot Lad: When did u bought it from her?
Anita:Do u use Yahoo Messenger?
Anita:This morning!!
Idiot Lad: Yes
Idiot Lad: I do use it
Anita: Let's move there, ok? My email address is [email protected]
Idiot Lad: Ok
Idiot Lad: Will add u now
Idiot Lad: Have added u now

Anita: Who is this?
Idiot Lad: is me Chris
Anita: Why does it say Kevin?
Idiot Lad: it was my brother's name
Idiot Lad: he was the one that opened it for me and he used his name
Anita: You share an account?
Anita: That was dumb of him.
Idiot Lad: no is my but he opened it for me
Anita: Is he a little slow or dimwitted?
Idiot Lad: i think so
Anita: Me, too! LOL.
Idiot Lad: he is a little slow
Idiot Lad: yep
Anita: Is Alienware a god ladtop brand?
Anita: *good
Idiot Lad: yes
Idiot Lad: and window 10 is nice but hard to use
Idiot Lad: unless u get use to it
Anita: I'm getting used to it slowly. This computer is super fast, but kinda complicated.
Anita: I still can't believe she sold it to me for $300.
Idiot Lad: yes that's how it is
Anita: How is your application coming along? I don't see the paperwork.
Idiot Lad: i am working on it
Idiot Lad: have u discused anything with Darla about it?
Anita: Just a bit. It's been over a week and you couldn't complete the paperwork?
Idiot Lad: went to see my mon she was very sick
Anita: Hmmm...Darla never mentioned that. You couldn't fill it while she rested?
Idiot Lad: i was the one that took her to hospital
Idiot Lad: i am sorry i will do that it won't take time
Idiot Lad: but i sent Darla my cv
Anita: You took her to a hospital for an entire week? In that whole time there was not ten minutes to complete it?
Anita: A CV is only part of it.
Anita: We need the application for our records and an audition.
Idiot Lad: it was a far journey i have to travel for about 7 hours before i could get to my home town to take her and over there not internet
Idiot Lad: i will do that as soon as possible
Anita: You did not need an internet to fill it out. Only a pen.
Idiot Lad: i know but goin to do that please do bear with me
Anita: I'm not sure you are serious about this.
Idiot Lad: i was also waiting for your return to accept my apology
Idiot Lad: pls my friend i am very serious pls
Anita: When will I have it?
Anita: I would hate to have you fill another official apology.
Idiot Lad: before the end of today
Idiot Lad: i will send it to u
Idiot Lad: don't understand
Idiot Lad: u would hate to have me fill another official apology?
Anita: Yes. For being lazy.
Idiot Lad: my friends please this is not all about been lazy i am not lazy
Idiot Lad: please i will do that today ok
Idiot Lad: i am sorry
Anita: Ok. Do u know what's wrong with Darla? She seems depressed.
Idiot Lad: how?
Idiot Lad: can i have the application form have not received it
Anita: I will send it. I'm not sure. When she sold me the ladtop, it was like she was disgusted by it.
Idiot Lad: didn't her bought it for her personal use?
Anita: I sent the application. She didn't say why she bought it. Just that it was a mistake purchase and she just wanted to be rid of it.
Idiot Lad: the reason is best known to her
Idiot Lad: wonder why she is depressed
Anita: Me, too.. I will ask her at lunch.
Idiot Lad: OK
Idiot Lad: going to print out the application form
Anita: Ok. I must work, too. Talk 2 you later!
Idiot Lad: ok

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:32 am

^That application has been Piles O Fun let me tell ya!

Quote:

Kevin: Hello Baby
Darla: Hi Hunny.
Kevin: Fine
Kevin: Glad u are on
Kevin: Talking to Anita
Kevin: And she was asking me about application letter if I have it
Kevin: I told her that I'm going to send it today
Kevin: She believe I must have fill it since so what am I to do
Kevin: I need to write it or is there any form I will receive from the company to write it
Darla: Ask her to mail it to you you Sweatie.
Kevin: To mail me the application form ?
Darla: Yes my love.
Kevin: I have asked her to mail it to me
Darla: Hunny will you work on your portfolio pictures today?
Kevin: I will do that as soon as my friend return from work
Kevin: At least I can get about 4 pictures right
Darla: That would be awesome my love.
Kevin: Baby there are some questions u need to help me answer on this application form
Darla: Certainly my love but can that wait until tonight? I have a meeting to go to and work is busy.
Kevin: I told Anita that I will submit it today
Darla: Oh
Kevin: She wanted to give me another official apology that I was lazy
Kevin: I have to lie to her that I took my mom to hospital
Kevin: But u know she was sick anyway
Kevin: She thought I was nor serious
Darla: Hunny do as much as you can on the application and I'll be back in an hour okay?
Kevin: Ok
Darla: And please try to be nice to Anita okay?
Kevin: I am baby
Darla: Thank you my love.
Kevin: She is sounding so nice now than before
Kevin: u can talk to me pls
Darla: Sure my love.
Kevin: at the first application should i fill about education
Kevin: should i put the same thing on my cv?
Darla: Yes.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: this one that says are u authorized to work in the US
Kevin: If yes when?
Kevin: so when should i put?
Darla: When you get your Visa my Sweatie.
Kevin: that one is not necessary for now
Kevin: so this one that say please list three Professional reference
Darla: Hunny that is self-explanatory.
Kevin: u need to help me on that
Kevin: i have not done this before that's why i really need ur help now
Kevin: so i don't make mistake with what we have in mind
Darla: My love you need to put down professional references as in people you know and have worked for.
Kevin: is it all about movie ?
Kevin: or i can put any company that exit which i have their contact
Darla: Yes companies that you have worked for are best.
Kevin: what if i have not work for any company baby
Kevin: well i know what to do on that
Darla: Hunny have you filled out any of the application by yourself?
Kevin: yes the first page
Kevin: why do u ask?
Darla: Well I thought you were going to fill it out and then ask me questions but it looks like you want me to fill it out for you.
Kevin: i don't want to make any mistake that's why i'm asking
Darla: Just do your best my love and I'll be back later on okay?
Kevin: ok
Kevin: baby sorry what position should i apply for?
Darla: I thought you wanted to be an actor/stuntman??
Kevin: baby that was ur idea and i accepted that
Kevin: so what should i put as a desired salary
Darla: Hunny we have discussed this before but I can't fill out this entire thing for you okay?
Kevin: i know but i only asked for one i don't have an idea
Darla: You have asked me about every question. Put down $50,000 or something I don’t know.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: sorry
Kevin: sorry this SSN means what?
Darla: Hunny I am at work!!! Got it? What is your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?????
Kevin: baby don't know
Kevin: ok
Kevin: baby can u answer me pls
Kevin: this one is hard on me,
Darla: Hunny I only have a few minutes.
Kevin: my favorite 90s jam
Kevin: what could that be?
Darla: A song.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: just to write the song i love
Darla: I’m home baby. Miss you.
Kevin: Miss u too
Kevin: How was ur day
Darla: Tons of meetings. How was yours?
Kevin: Fine
Darla: My Sweatie tell me what you did today.
Kevin: Baby nothing much
Kevin: Trying to fill the application
Darla: ok
Kevin: U sold laptop to Anita today
Darla: Yes Hunny I did; I guess she told you?
Kevin: Yes
Kevin: She said she is not use to it
Kevin: Cos is window 10
Darla: ok
Kevin: Yep
Darla: So did you have a chance to work on your portfolio my love?
Kevin: Baby was busy filling the form
Darla: Okay my love. How did it go?
Kevin: Well fine
Kevin: I have few questions to ask u
Kevin: This area that says previous employment the place they wrote supervisor
Kevin: What am I to fill there
Kevin: And also job title, and responsibilities
Darla: Write in your last job details and the supervisor's name my sweats.
Kevin: Ok
Kevin: Professional references the place that was written relationship
Kevin: What am I to write there
Darla: That is where you put co-workers details my love.
Kevin: Coworkers details
Kevin: A name or what
Darla: A name, job title, how you know them and their contact information.
Kevin: Cos the space is not much to write details
Darla: You can always add an extra page with those details I think.
Kevin: How
Kevin: I think all I need to do is to fill what is given to me
Darla: ok
Kevin: This responsibilities I am confused about it pls come again
Darla: Hunny it means what you did at your job.
Kevin: Then job tittle should be my position or what
Darla: Yes baby. This shouldn't be so difficult.
Kevin: I know
Kevin: U know I have not done this before
Darla: What? Are you serious Mr. Man?
Kevin: Yes I told u my work
Kevin: So time u act if u don't know what we are doing this
Kevin: I told I'm into business
Darla: YES BUT BUSINESSMEN MAKE CONTACTS AND WORK AND DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO THEM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Kevin: I work for myself
Kevin: Not for someone baby
Darla: But you buy or sell products don't you? What kind of Business doesn't have customers or contacts??? Wait I got it a FAILED BUSINESS! Mr. Man I am trying to help you but you need to also help yourself. Do you understand?
Kevin: Baby I am helping myself
Kevin: Remember we are a team
Darla: Oh I remember but I need you to be a MAN and to at least try.
Kevin: Baby I'm trying
Darla: Yes you are.
Kevin: The one place that is remaining is this drawing of selportrait
Kevin: Should I use pen or pencil to draw it

Darla: What does it say on the application Hunny?
Kevin: It says Draw a self-portrait
Darla: Um but are you to fill out the application in pen or pencil Hunny????
Kevin: Pen baby
Darla: Then pen it is right?
Kevin: ok
Darla: You could practice in pencil and mail them to me if you want though.
Kevin: Baby u know this will take time
Kevin: U know Anita has been on my neck she want the form to be submit as soon as possible
Kevin: So I rather write in pen the mail it to u for u to cross check it
Kevin: I have never draw before but I will try my best
Kevin: Is Bette I try than not drawing or meeting someone to help me do that
Darla: You are so right Sweatie! Do your best and I'm sure it will be great!
Kevin: ok
Kevin: Baby have to sleep now
Kevin: Talk to u tomorrow
Darla: Love you.
Kevin: Love u too kiss

Sometimes I just have no patience even for my loved ones. Oh well maybe he'll get a haircut (Eye Bras surely?) and get a real job?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adz1aWRsDw8

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:11 am

I'm sure the job will be "real..." something. Real amusing...yeah. That's it!

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:18 am

Quote:

Kevin: U know Anita has been on my neck she want the form to be submit as soon as possible

آhahahah

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:07 am

Our Lad was somewhat compliant today and less lazy than normal. Sorry that is a bit of a Teaser that you will soon find out about:

Quote:

Kevin: I sent the application to Anita
Darla: Good for you Hunny.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: I hope I won't be disappointed I did my best baby
Darla: I’m sure it will be special.
Kevin: Oh I'm glad
Darla: I’m so happy for us.
Kevin: Baby I’m more happy
Kevin: I can’t wait to be with u
Darla: Awww
Kevin: I want to be in ur arms
Darla: That would be more better don't you think?
Kevin: Yes baby
Kevin: More better I think so
MUCH LATER
Kevin: Baby I'm with that my brother I told u about
Kevin: He just came in now from Atlanta Georgia
Darla: I'm sorry I couldn't have met him while he was here my Sweatie.
Kevin: He will soon go back
Kevin: Where is ur city baby
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: What my love
Darla: Atlanta is my city Baby.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: What of ur address
Kevin: Baby can u call me now pls
Kevin: I want to hear ur voice
Darla: Baby I can't call you right now okay my love?
Kevin: Can I call u?
Darla: We've been through this my love and you know it is my work phone and I can't make or take many long distance calls. What's wrong?
Kevin: I just want to hear ur voice
Darla: Awwww
Kevin: Baby does it mean u don't have a private phone I can call u with
Darla: That's right Hunny as I have told you my phone is provided by my work.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: Did u talk to Anita today
Darla: Just briefly this morning. We don't always talk as I am not always in the office.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: Did u guys talk about my case?
Darla: No because I only found out about the application from you and it was late in the day.
Kevin: Baby I love u so much
Kevin: I hope u will be a good woman to me
Kevin: I am deeply in love with u
Darla: Aww my sweats of course I'll be a good woman to you.
Kevin: U promise
Kevin: Love u so much
Darla: Love you more.
Kevin: What are u doing now
Darla: Just relaxing and chatting with you Mr. Man.
Kevin: Hmmm
Kevin: Mrs. Woman
Darla: Hahaha. You are funny hunny!
Kevin: U are also funny baby
Kevin: I'm glad we are meant to be together
Kevin: Are we understand each other
Darla: Oh yeah Baby!
Kevin: So my live after all these process how are they going to apply Visa for me baby
Kevin: Sorry I mean my love
Darla: Hunny assuming everything is correct on your application and with my backing the process should start very soon. That reminds me you need to work on your portfolio pictures okay?
Kevin: Yes Anita told me that
Kevin: And tomorrow I will work on that
Darla: Thank you my love because the harder we work the quicker we will be together.
Kevin: Yes sure
Kevin: Baby can u send me pix ur sexy pix
Kevin: I am horny now
Darla: Really Hunny? I thought you were with your Brother?
Kevin: He has gone inside to rest
Darla: Well my Big Horny man how about you show yourself to me? I will need to set up my camera and timer and change for you.
Kevin: Yes I will do that baby
Darla: I want to see all of you just like I will be sending to you ok?
Kevin: What do u want to see is it not my cook
Kevin: My dick
Darla: Oh yeah I want to see that but I also want to see your handsome face and rugged body too.
Kevin: Baby u know there is no way I can snap that together with my dick I will send it one after the other I'm using phone not camera
Darla: Use a mirror my love ok?
Kevin: Baby there is NP mirror here I swear
Kevin: The place I am is too local not like ur place
Darla: Now you are disappointing me and I was so willing too.
Kevin: Baby I am not I will send u my pic as I can
Kevin: Why not understand me
Kevin: Pls don't misunderstood me please
Darla: Am not misunderstanding here you want me to take my clothes off for you like I'm a cheap low class girl but you won't do the same. Is that about right?
Kevin: I will do the same baby
Kevin: Just explained how I can do it
Kevin: U are taken it too far
Kevin: Please I wish I could get my full body to u
Kevin: U said u love me why are u sending this way we are going to become husband and wife soon
Darla: You just aren't treating me like a lady is all and it makes me upset.
Kevin: U have started again
Kevin: U said we won't quarrel again
Kevin: So why are u sounding this way
Kevin: I said I will do what I can why not trust me
Darla: I do trust you Hunny but sometimes a girl needs her Man to be a Man.
Kevin: Yes I know and I am trying to be a man
Kevin: Do u want me to promise what is not possible for me to do
Darla: Of course not my love. Why don't we save this for when you can do what we are wanting to do okay?
Kevin: Is that why u won't make me happy now
Kevin: Is it thread by barter
Kevin: My woman won't make me happy unless I do the same as she did
Kevin: We no problem let's save it
Darla: It's a relationship Hunny and we both need to give and take
Kevin: Yep I know I need to give u when I can
Kevin: Since we are not together
Kevin: U need to do what u can to make me happy
Kevin: U are in US and I'm in Nigeria so is never the same
Darla: Soon we will be together my love.
Kevin: I know
Kevin: Sure we will be together
Darla: Yes I am 1000% sure.
Kevin: How sure are u my love
Darla: Because I have Faith that's why.
Kevin: Ur faith will work for u and for us
Darla: Amen Baby.

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 3:57 am

I have to back up the story a bit. One, Anita has to rub in to the lad that she now is in possession of his ladtop. Two, Kevin is certainly an idiot having no clue on how to fill out a proper application for employment to be an actor for Hitlanta. This conversation begins yesterday, before OP's post above.

Idiot Lad: hello my good friend i have printed out the form and have gone through it pls u need to bear with me it will take me a little time to fill it i will return it today or tomorrow thanks for your understanding and patient God bless u i really appreciate your effort and i will be grateful to u
Anita: Why so long? You've had over 10 days? Seriously, if you're not interested, let me know. We have people begging to join us.
Idiot Lad: no i am sorious
Idiot Lad: u just sent me the form few about an hour ago
Idiot Lad: and i am working on it please do bear with me
Idiot Lad: i am very serious my good friend
Idiot Lad: you know we have not talk much about this job i was trying to wait on u to accept my apology pls
Anita: What questions do u have?
Idiot Lad: this self portrait i can't really draw it
Idiot Lad: hope that won't be a problem friend
Anita: It will be. We test all parts of your creativity. Do your best.
Idiot Lad: drawing my self will be hard one on me i can put photogragh
Idiot Lad: well i will try
Anita: Do your best!
Anita: Darla said u made her depressed. What did u do?
Idiot Lad: nothing much
Anita: So she is depressed over "nothing much?"
Idiot Lad: i told her my birthday was on Thurdays and i asked her what will she have for me
Anita: Why would she have anything?
Idiot Lad: was only joking with that and did not mean it
Anita: What did u get her for Sweetest Day?
Idiot Lad: when was her sweetest day?
Anita: Really? I have to tell u? That's pretty uncaring.
Idiot Lad: is not too long we meet i guess i meet her after her sweetest day
Idiot Lad: what about u when is ur sweetest day?
Anita: You're just silly.
Idiot Lad: i accept that
Idiot Lad: please i really do not want u to get upset with me
Anita: Well, u heard her fillings!
Idiot Lad: we are suppose to be good friends
Idiot Lad: i will do my best to make her happy
Anita: Right now, you are failing miserably.
Idiot Lad: we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes
Idiot Lad: and we live to correct them i am not perfect
Anita: That's what I heard. But, you better get it together.
Idiot Lad: yep
Idiot Lad: sure
Anita: Wow. Comments like that. No wonder she is upset.
Anita: Knowing Darla, she probably had a big surprise in store for you and you said something stupid to ruin it.
Idiot Lad: i will and try to let her know that i love her so much
Anita: Oh. I thought you were just friends.
Idiot Lad: is that what she told u?
Anita: It's what YOU told ME.
Idiot Lad: when i don't think i said that remember when i told u that we love each other and u got upset and said how is that ur business
Anita: YOU wrote, "we are suppose to be good frineds i will do my best to make her happy." Look above!
Idiot Lad: i mean u not her\
Idiot Lad: i mean u and i suppose to be good friends not having problems
Anita: Hmmmm...Well, don't hurt her.
Idiot Lad: i will not
Idiot Lad: she means a lot to me
Anita: Go fill the application, ok. We're waiting on you. If we can get you employed, things might improve!
Idiot Lad: thanks a lot
Anita: It all is in your hands.
Idiot Lad: yes i know
Idiot Lad: i will do my best
Anita: Get it finished?
Idiot Lad: is not a small wokr my good friend still on it
Idiot Lad: be patient with me please
Idiot Lad: u just sent it to me today please bear with me
Idiot Lad: yes people that have the experience
Idiot Lad: i am doing the best i can
Anita: Oh please don't say that. The questions are simple.
Idiot Lad: is not that simple to me can u help me answer some pls
Idiot Lad: i am answering the once i can
Anita: How would I know your answers? Where are you stuck?
Idiot Lad: this that says It's Thursday we are staffing u on a movie project in Ontario, Canada on Monday, Ur flight and hotel are booked ur visa is ready what are the top five things u do before u leave?
Anita: Well, what 5 things would you do before leaving to film a movie?
Idiot Lad: Ok
Anita: U would "ok?"
Idiot Lad: I have to fill it
Anita: That's what I've been saying all day.
Idiot Lad: What about this one
Anita: What one?
Idiot Lad: The beef between Tupac and Biggie created an East Coast/West Coast rivalry and the best music in a generation. With whom would u have beef and why
Anita: What about it?
Anita: ???
Idiot Lad: Don't have any idea about the question
Idiot Lad: That's why I ask u my good friend
Anita: U don't know Tupac Shakur or Biggie Smalls?
Idiot Lad: Just sent it now
Idiot Lad: I just did best I can pls help me out
Idiot Lad: If there is anything do let me I'm counting on u may God bless u
Idiot Lad: Have not had of any of them

Today.

Anita: Good morning.
Idiot Lad: morning
Idiot Lad: how was ur night ?
Anita: Restful. And yours?
Idiot Lad: fantastic
Anita: Oh, excellent news. I was expecting your application when I arrived at work.
Idiot Lad: yes i am done with it but trying to scan it and send to u
Idiot Lad: the business center has not open yet will go and check back later pls
Anita: What time is it there?
Idiot Lad: it is 1:24
Idiot Lad: i was told that the guy in charge of the business center is not around so waiting for his retunr
Idiot Lad: i must submit it to u today pls
Idiot Lad: thanks for ur patients and been a good friend to me
Idiot Lad: i really appriciate and my siblings are thanking you for ur help
Anita: I agree with u 100% on what u said.
Idiot Lad: thanks i am happy u agreed with me
Anita: Two hours should be sufficient time.
Anita: Oh, and I'm getting the hang of this ladtop. It's super duper nice.
Idiot Lad: don't get u
Idiot Lad: two hours should be sufficient time ?
Anita: For you to have the application to me.
Idiot Lad: pls be more patient and let me do this as soon as i can
Idiot Lad: i beg u in the name of God pls
Anita: Do you not think I've been patient already? We get ahead by being pro-active, not con-active!
Idiot Lad: yes u have been patient and i really appreciate that
Idiot Lad: i am doing the best i can the way things work here is not the same over there pls
Anita: Printing, scanning, and sending are not the same there? Completing applications for employment are not the same? I am beginning to question your work ethnic.
Anita: Did I hit a nerve?

Kevin then logged off of YIM.

A few hours pass and Anita receives this:

Idiot Lad: Hello
Anita: Conference call. Hold on.
Idiot Lad: Ok
Anita: I have received your application.
Idiot Lad: Ok
Anita: I will review it soon. Thank you. We will need your audition pics/video. Has this been discussed with you?
Idiot Lad: No
Anita: Darla NEVER mentioned this?
Idiot Lad: No she has not
Anita: Please discuss it with her. She's never said we need pictures of you for modeling porpoises.
Idiot Lad: Yep but not video
Idiot Lad: She said I should snap some picture for that but not video
Anita: So she mentioned it, but didn't mention it?
Idiot Lad: I misunderstood u
Idiot Lad: The words are different
Idiot Lad: I will try and get that tomorrow
Anita: Did and didn't? Yes. They are different words.
Idiot Lad: So how is ur day going
Anita: Very busy. I've 19 other applications that came in before yours.
Idiot Lad: U must be very busy
Idiot Lad: We can talk later

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:32 pm

Nice!

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:47 pm

Some of my favorite lines:

Quote:

You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Quote:

You will get into water by skating on the ice.

Quote:

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Regarding his safari:

Quote:

I see that as funniest thing ever.

Other choice lines:

Quote:

I would love to beef with Tupac.

Quote:

Call the equity hotline listen for local conditions, union and non-union.

If you were any Disney Princess:

Quote:

I'd go for Belle, because she is awesome and aren't afraid to take chances, plus she have some pretty fantastic outfit.

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:56 pm

No words for that self-portrait... Shocked

"You can beat a dead horse to water..." hahahahaaaa

Awesome work all around!

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:25 pm

bware419ers wrote:

If you were any Disney Princess:

Quote:

I'd go for Belle, because she is awesome and aren't afraid to take chances, plus she have some pretty fantastic outfit.

That sounds like the type of line that Jose would come out with. Laughing

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:48 pm

Fantastic work! I think his audition pics should include dressing up as Tupac and Belle. Shocked

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:52 pm

^^^Oh, we have something more better in mind!

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 3:37 pm

Idiot Lad: hello
Anita: Sorry. Windows 10 was fighting me!
Idiot Lad: ok
Idiot Lad: u will get use to it soon
Anita: Yeah. I still can't believe I got this for only $300. So fast. And it came pre-loaded with all this software.
Idiot Lad: that must be a good laptop
Idiot Lad: Darla did well to sell it for u
Idiot Lad: i wish i could have one like that
Anita: Yeah. It's almost 2 powerful. Is an Alienware 17 a good laptop?
Idiot Lad: yes it is
Anita: Ok.
Anita: Did u speak with Darla regarding the audition pics/video?
Idiot Lad: yes i did
Idiot Lad: i will get the pix
Anita: Most excellent. I also have some follow up questions on your application.
Idiot Lad: ok ask me
Anita: Let me find your file. So many applications...ugh
Idiot Lad: ok it must be stressful
Anita: Well, there are so many people that want to work for us and be big movie starts or rapers.
Anita: We make people allot of money!
Idiot Lad: i wish to work with u people and i know u will help me
Anita: The references you provided will all give u a positive review?
Idiot Lad: i pray so
Anita: Which one will give u the worst review?
Idiot Lad: for the applications /
Idiot Lad: ?
Anita: For your performance.
Idiot Lad: been a in the stage over there
Idiot Lad: i don't think that anyone will give me worst review
Idiot Lad: i will be right back
Anita: I see from your application you have never made more than $3500 in one year. Is that correct?
Idiot Lad: according to the jobs i did
Anita: What does that mean?
Idiot Lad: i mean according to my jobs here i have not made more than that
Idiot Lad: the amount u saw on my application is monthly salary not year
Idiot Lad: i will be right back pls
Idiot Lad: i am back
Anita: So, at a minimum of $50,000 per year, this would change ur life irretrievably, huh?
Idiot Lad: yes
Anita: In your last job, u were rubbered. Describe what happened.
Idiot Lad: i was going to deposit the money to account because our accountant did not come to work that day so i was told to go and deposit the money on my way to the bank i was robbered
Anita: By whom and how?
Idiot Lad: and was sacked
Idiot Lad: by rubbers i don't know them
Idiot Lad: they pointed gun at me and collected the money
Anita: How much money?
Idiot Lad: about $2,500
Anita: I see you are not interested in this interview. I will move on to the next candidate.
Idiot Lad: i am pls network is bad
Idiot Lad: pls i am with u
Anita: I will have to return. Already interviewing another candidate.
Idiot Lad: pls i am here
Anita: Ur network seems fine, but now I am committed to another applicant.
Idiot Lad: pls return to me

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 9:43 pm

@bware that is Brilliant! I'm not sure what my favorite part of it is but if er when he fails I mean to become a Supper Star I do believe he could be the next Mark Marek with the proper coaching of course:

Anyhow always the 'Bridesmaid Piles' has to settle for supporting status here as now Lads ever give him anything good. Oh well maybe some day eh?

Quote:

Darla: Hey Baby.
Kevin: yes my love
Kevin: how are u doing today
Darla: Am more better than yesterday because I can almost feel you here with me my Sweats.
Kevin: awws this sound so sweet
Kevin: and i can't wait to be with u my love
Darla: You'll be here quicker than two shakes of a ducks tail my love.
Kevin: really
Kevin: i am happy to hear this from u
Darla: From what I hear once you submit your portfolio pictures to me the legal jargon team and the Boss will start looking at the audition and Visa process.
Kevin: i am going to do that today
Darla: That is the bestest news my love. Can you send them to us as soon as they are ready?
Kevin: yes i will not much to do there is it not to snap pixt
Darla: I don't understand sweatie.
Kevin: i mean it is not to snap pic and send to u as u told me earlier
Darla: Hunny I'm still not getting your meaning here. Remember we went through how the pictures should look and added in your ideas as well.
Kevin: yes that's what i mean also
Darla: I need to use the restroom back in a minute or two.
Kevin: ok my love
Darla: Am back.
Kevin: OK baby I'm here
Darla: ok
Kevin: Baby the person am to kill will him dress the same way I dress
Kevin: Or he can wear anything
Darla: I think having both of you glistening and stripped down with muscles tensing is a great idea Hunny. You really have a knack for this.
Kevin: Ok
Darla: I had best let you get on with your work Hunny. I can hardly wait to see my love in action.
Kevin: Baby check out this pixs
Darla: Did you email them to me Sweatie?
Kevin: want send it to u here
Darla: ok
Kevin: Baby u love the pix?
Darla: I do Hunny. Let me go through them and we can talk a bit later okay?
Kevin: OK my love
Kevin: Baby I gave my elder brother ur Facebook Id hope u don't mind
Kevin: Let me know if I did the right thing

AND NOW SOME BRIEF HILARITY

RamButt:

I Chop my Willie:

That's not a Knife; This is a Knife:

...Nah I'm just Happy to see you:

Piles is running out of witty One-liners because he is still Sober:

And Finally some Obligatory Moob Fondling:

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:29 pm

I'm looking forward to the movie!!

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Apr 2015 Posts: 239

Lol that is great guys
Loved his recollection of his safari and how he thought it was funny, I think he needs more safaris, nice to see he has no hard feelings, and I loved his portrait of himself, he looks like he is doing the robot.

Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2015 8:36 am

You know, a man of Kevin's manifest talent and physique deserves a bigger stage - or maybe arena - than just Hotlanta.

He should really be headhunted by Mal Reynolds over at Dreamworks (cf. the Shorty saga)...

Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2015 8:58 am

Kevin and his BFF look like they could be the new posterboys for Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Wonderfully entertaining! Love it all. Kevin is just brilliant fun. Hahahaha

Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2015 12:11 am

Anita: Good morning and happy birthday!
Idiot Lad: good morning thanks
Anita: Darla sent me your audition photos.
Idiot Lad: ok she told me that
Anita: What are your thoughts on them?
Idiot Lad: i just thought is a very good ones
Anita: They are. Very good. Almost great.
Idiot Lad: that's my thought thanks
Anita: We might want to think about making them great. Who is in the picture with you?
Idiot Lad: it was my brother but not biological brother
Anita: I don't understand that. It appears the two of you have some chemistry. I can tell the two of you are very intense in how you desire to fill the other. Am I correct?
Idiot Lad: yes u are very correct
Anita: Would he be interested in acting with us too? If you came on as a couple, I might be able to arrange a group rate of $200K combined. Groups are highly sought after. Especially those that exhibit chemistry like the two of you.
Idiot Lad: he is not interested in acting with u people
Anita: Ok. That's a shame.
Anita: Is he interested in acting with you?
Idiot Lad: he never wanted to travel our of Nigeria
Anita: I understand.
Idiot Lad: thanks for your understanding
Anita: Can we discuss improvements to your photos? I understand they are low quality from a phone, right? That is perfectly acceptable. Your poses and stances were spot on, too.
Idiot Lad: thanks
Anita: But, US trends are a bit different. Does that make sense?
Idiot Lad: yes sure
Idiot Lad: this is Nigeria and there must be a lot of different
Anita: Can we discuss hair?
Idiot Lad: yes we can
Anita: In the US, tastes run from long hair and lumberjack beards to hairless. Nothing in between.
Anita: Is that understandable?
Idiot Lad: yes sure
Anita: Can you perform with one or the either?
Idiot Lad: please come again one of what?
Anita: Long hair and beard or no hair, including a clean shaven chest. Can you grow a long beard?
Idiot Lad: no
Idiot Lad: i can't
Anita: Oh.
Idiot Lad: but the way i look on the photos is it not ok
Anita: Hmmmm...what can we do to make it more acceptable to the US movie going public?
Anita: They want men completely shaved. Chest, arms, hair. And they want them to appear sweaty. Like real men that have worked and endured through troubles.
Idiot Lad: u are in the field there and i believe u know the best way to make it more acceotable to the US movie
Anita: If you can't do the rough and manly look, can you do the clean and manly look?
Idiot Lad: hope i am to do it overe there the cleaning of the Chest, arms, and hair
Anita: Well, you would have to maintain it here. I would send you photos from some of the other applicants, but for their privacy, I can't. At this point, before the audition video, I'm stuck here and it's where you are lacking.
Idiot Lad: what am i lacking please clarify me
Anita: The clean, sharpness or rugged grizzliness.
Anita: The glistening sweatiness. Most men over here when taking their photos rub butter or oil on themselves to give the sweaty appearance.
Idiot Lad: i said i will do the cleaning and is what i will do over there right?
Idiot Lad: is it what i will do over there?
Idiot Lad: are u still there?
Anita: I am here. Had to go potty.
Anita: If you could take photos with it there and make yourself look sweaty with the butter or oil and re-take the photos, as long as the video is this good, I could easily sell you to the boss.
Idiot Lad: so when next are we going to talk?
Anita: I might even be able to negotiate for you up to $100,000 for a contract.
Idiot Lad: so what u are saying is that i need to re-take the photos
Anita: If the come out as well as I think they will, I can throw away these other applications.
Idiot Lad: am i to make vidoe?
Anita: Yes. It is a very simple video.
Idiot Lad: what am i to do there
Anita: There are some stunts to perform and you will be given options on which ones to perform.
Anita: Here? You will be acting and performing stunts in an actual movie. Each movie requires its own contract. I can think of three off the top of my head you would be ideal for!
Anita: Did you log off?
Idiot Lad has signed back in. (10/22/2015 12:59 PM)

Idiot Lad: No I did not
Anita: Is the above understandable?
Idiot Lad: Yes
Anita: Ok. I think I can hold off the other applicants until Monday with some kind of story. Darla really wants you to have this job and I'm really seeing potential here!
Idiot Lad: This will be some how hard for me
Anita: Which part?
Idiot Lad: Is there no way u can help me out with this process
Idiot Lad: Acting
Anita: You want me to act for you?
Idiot Lad: No
Idiot Lad: Is not what I mean
Anita: I thought I was doing nothing but helping you. It's understandable. You don't want my help or like it.
Idiot Lad: I really want it
Idiot Lad: And I appreciate ur effort
Anita: Well, that's why I'm giving you this advice. Then I can guarantee I can sell you to the boss.
Anita: But u have said it's difficult so I'll have to really look at the other applicants.
Idiot Lad: I will try my best
Idiot Lad: I wish u could understand my position here
Anita: What do you mean? Oh! It's your birthday today. I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about work and will let you enjoy your day!
Idiot Lad: I appreciate ur effort
Idiot Lad: U are a nice person
Last message received on 10/22 at 1:18 PM
Anita: Enjoy your day and think of have you can accomplish this. We can chat tomorrow.
Idiot Lad: OK dear
Idiot Lad: I will think about that
Anita: It should be very simple to complete.

Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2015 11:48 am

Anita's pep talk kinda made Kevin step back and think Uh Oh for a few reasons. So sad since yesterday was his Birthday and he had such a horrible time:

Quote:

Kevin: No baby he is not

Kevin: This one is my biology brother

Kevin: Hi baby

Darla: Hunny!

Kevin: My love

Kevin: How are u doing today

Darla: Happy Birthday my big strong sexy man!

Kevin: Thanks my love

Kevin: I appreciate

Darla: I sent your portfolio photos to Anita.

Kevin: OK my love

Kevin: Thanks a lot

Kevin: I love u so much

Darla: I love you more!

HOURS LATER

Kevin: hello my love

Darla: Hi Hunny.

Kevin: i am online with Anita

Darla: Oh good for you I'll let you concentrate okay?

Kevin: ok my love

Kevin: hello baby

Darla: Sweatie!

Kevin: talking to Anita but she is not saying anything for now

Kevin: she said the photos was good

Kevin: but she was saying something about The clean, sharpness or rugged grizzliness

Darla: ok

Kevin: there somethings i might not be able to do here

Kevin: this is the same thing i went through with the church i told u about

Darla: What do you mean Baby?

Kevin: I told u that I am not an actor

Kevin: And what I was asked to do by Anita is kind of hard

Kevin: I thought is all about the photos

Kevin: Now I need to shave my chest my arms my hair and do acting not even one three

Darla: Hunny we can talk about this okay?

Kevin: Ok

Darla: We know your pictures are good right?

Kevin: Yes they are good

Kevin: Pls if there is something u can do to help me come over

Kevin: I hate to be ask to do what I can't do

Kevin: I am not in the field of acting I think I did my best

Kevin: I know Anita is trying to sell me but I am not an actor

Kevin: She thought it is simple for me cos she thought I am an actor

Darla: Hunny we are a team and can make you an actor.

Kevin: I can make an actor over night

Darla: We have time to work on it my love.

Kevin: Shaving all my body right

Kevin: This is all about coming you and becoming an actor

Kevin: Without thinking what my dreams are

Darla: Baby please don't worry about this right now we can make it all more better.

Kevin: I'm worried cos I am in love with u and need to be with u

Darla: Awww I love you to and we will be together Mr. Man.

Kevin: I am afraid things might go wrong Anita said I should do all those things so she can get me a contract of $100.000.00 but I'm not desperate about money

Darla: Hunny if you do get that contract then you will also get a Visa which means we will be together right?

Kevin: I'm sorry to disappoint u

Kevin: This is not what I thought

Kevin: U brought this idea and now it has gotten to a point that I can't be able to do

Darla: Hunny what are you saying? Please you are scaring me.

Kevin: i'm not scaring u just telling u what is on board now and something need to be don

Darla: Baby we can work this out ok?

Kevin: how ?

Darla: Well my love I do have some pull in the company you know.

Kevin: ok

Kevin: u need to help me pls

Darla: My sweats we are a team remember? We will help each other.

Kevin: yes i know and i'm doing my best

Kevin: u know i have not done this before

Kevin: f i have the experience or have been into it i won't border i told u that i hate to be force to do something i wasn't thinking i can do anything to make money but not this kind of one

Kevin: trying to be whom i am not

Darla: My love please clam down for me ok?

Kevin: i am baby

Kevin: i am a principle man a man of integrity and i love to do things the way it suppose t

Kevin: i wish i have the money to come to US i would i have done that on my own it has always been my dream country

Darla: You will get what you deserve Hunny but I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me and then answer my questions ok?

Kevin: ok

Darla: First off you must realize that an actor can be anyone at any time; being one is being someone who can connive others he or she is someone other than what they really are and you are very conniving in my brooks.

Kevin: this is the level i can go unless i am there to make things more better

Kevin: shaving my hair, chest, arms is something else i cannot do and will not do it

Darla: Hunny? I asked you to clam down so we can reason through this didn't I?

Kevin: i'm sorry

Kevin: so continue with ur question

Darla: Thank you my sweats. Now those pictures that you sent we very well received and you must also be proud of them aren't you?

Kevin: I am

Darla: And so you should be as they were exactly as we discussed and made Anita stand up and take notice right?

Kevin: yep

Darla: From what I have gathered from you (I will speak with her tomorrow) she was merely attempting to get you a more better contract with our company?

Kevin: that's good but u should think about what ia m capable o doing

Kevin: what if at the end they find out that i am not an actor what happen to the country

Kevin: if i may ask if i eventually come over there and then i know nothing about acting what is going to happen next i will be send back to Nigeria right?

Darla: Hunny you are interrupting me again but I will answer those questions as we go along ok?

Kevin: ok

Darla: Thanks you. So lets backtravel a bit here and think about this and specifically Anita and her role as our Administrative Ass.

Kevin: i'm all ears

Darla: She sees hundreds and hundreds of applications and portfolios every Month yet was immediately drawn to your raw and manly pictures and riveting personality

Kevin: i know

Kevin: nd also because of u

Darla: That means we as a team have gotten all of our swans in a row and convinced others of your natural abilities right?

LONG PAUSE

Darla: Right?

Kevin: yea

Darla: So it doesn't take a rocket appliance to understand that we have so far done what we set out to do does it my love?

LONG PAUSE

Darla: Hunny I need to know if you understand my meaning ok?

Kevin: we have

Kevin: yes i do understand it

Kevin: and i believe that is enough to be there

Darla: My Sweatie now as I have told you I haven't heard the news from the Horse's mouth just the other end so let's move towards the issues you have with Anita's ideas ok?

Kevin: ok

Darla: You mentioned something about shaving and refusing to do it didn't you? Can you explain why that is such a problem Hunny?

Kevin: yes I did

Kevin: last timer i told u about the church that want to help me out they asked me to do exactly what Anita asked me to do and did that and air enter my body i nearly die i was rushed than to hospital and i stayed there over 3 weeks before i get myself

Kevin: so this reason i won't try such God forbid

Darla: Hunny? I didn't know you were in the hospital! Please tell me more.

Kevin: i have told u how it all happened and how i was stranded in nearby country

Darla: But I didn't realize you got sick my love!

Kevin: now u know

Darla: ok. Hunny I'm sure I can convince Anita and the Boss that your natural, hairy, rugged, good looks are just what we are looking for.

Kevin: ok then

Darla: So what else did Anita say that upset you?

Kevin: about acting

Darla: Do tell my love I'm sure we can get to the crux of the bisquick easily.

Kevin: wait let me get what she said

Kevin: she said i will be given option which one to perform

Darla: Well that sounds like good news to me Baby. Okay before talking about that I want to ease your fears about acting and being in the Untidied State.

Kevin: ok

Darla: You are worried that if they somehow might find out you aren't an actor (even though I know you are a Top Gun Actor) that you might get deported right?

Kevin: yes

Darla: Well Mr. Man there is absolutely nothing to worry about there at all because I have a plan and there is no way you would ever be deported because of my cunning plan.

Kevin: what are ur plans

Darla: Sweatie you plan on Marrying me don't you?

Kevin: yes sure

Darla: Um you don't seem all that excited about it Mr. Man.

Kevin: baby i am

Kevin: it has been my dream to get married to u

Kevin: i wish i can even do that now

Kevin: u don't know how desperate i am to get married to u Mrs. Woman

Kevin: i love u so much

Darla: Awww I love you too. So want to hear my cunning plan my sweats?

Kevin: yes baby

Kevin: tell me \

Darla: Within the first week of your arrival we will be Married and then no matter what happens you will be a resident here.

Kevin: ok my love that's a good and nice idea

Kevin: i love u for that

Kevin: but i can still get job or i meet my brothers there to teach me what they are doing i know they are making a lot of money there also

Darla: And my Cousin Vinnie deals in car parts so I can always introduce you to him.

Kevin: OK baby that's good

Kevin: Baby I love u so much

Darla: Love you more my Big Sexy Man!

Kevin: My sexy woman

Darla: Rworr Tiger!

Kevin: what baby

Darla: You are my big strong hairy beast!

Kevin: hahah

Kevin: I see

Kevin: u are my tiny strong beauty beast

Darla: Awww. Are you feeling better now Hunny?

Kevin: yes

Kevin: I am

Kevin: let me use the bathroom

Darla: ok

Kevin: am back dear

Darla: ok

Darla: Baby now that you are feeling better can we quickly talk about the next steps?

Kevin: what do u think is the next step

Darla: Well as far as I can tell we only have one small task to do before we can get you here in my arms right?

Kevin: what do u think is the task my love

Darla: You said Anita mentioned some minor acting didn't you? And that you could choose the parts you wanted to play?

Kevin: yes waiting on that

Kevin: and see if i can do it

Darla: Whatever it is I will help you with it because as a team we can do anything Baby! I was so frightened earlier today when you said you weren't coming here that I cried and cried.

Kevin: lets see how it goes

Darla: Do you promise to try your hardest and bestest so that we will be together as Husband and Wife?

Kevin: i am trying the best i can

Kevin: i will see to what she got for me

Darla: Hunny you don't sound committed to me??? Am scared!

Kevin: how do u mean

Kevin: u don't need to be scared

Kevin: i told u i will try my possible best

Darla: Promise my great big hairy man?

Kevin: i promised to do my very best

Darla: ok. I guess I can't ask for anything more than that.

Kevin: lets see how it goes my love

Darla: Mr.Man I need you to focus so that we can be together if you are just playing me I will…well I don't know what I'll do.

Kevin: how do u mean playing u with what

Kevin: u have started those talks i don't like

Darla: Am worried you are only using me to get a visa and if it is too difficult you will forget about me.

Kevin: so because i am coming to be with u i should do what is not suppose to be done what i don't know how to do

Kevin: listen i have a lot of brothers over there who is married white and they are happily living together they didn't go this process to be with their woman over there

Kevin: their woman come to Nigeria they got married here and she went back and prepare visa for them so i am doing this to be with u not to get the visa and run away

Darla: Aww my love that's just what I wanted to hear! Hunny can you give me twenty minutes? I've got a nice surprise for you!

Kevin: ok

Darla: Thanks you, you won't regret it Baby.

Kevin: ok

Darla: Baby can I show you something for your Birthday?

Kevin: ok

Darla: I hope you like it.

SLUTTY PICTURE SENT

Kevin: oh my love

Kevin: this is so sweet and sexy

Darla: Happy Birthday Mr. Man!

Kevin: thanks a lot

LONG PAUSE WHILST HE MASTURBATED TO THE CRAB FACTORY

Kevin: baby need to sleep now

Darla: Pleasant dreams my love.

Kevin: ok baby

Kevin: kisses and hugs

Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2015 4:54 pm

More likely he got food poisoning. Laughing

Quote:

air enter my body i nearly die

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ Still laughing at that, Thursten3rd.

Also: "u have started those talks I don't like." Bwhahaha

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:11 am

So Kevin has his own Cunning Plan and well it goes like this not really but this is funny okay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsXKS8Nyu8Q

Anyhow how does one get out of being a Top Gun Actor and getting some Cash at the same time? Well let's see what Kevin comes up with shall we?

Quote:

Darla: Miss you Baby!
Kevin: Miss u too my love
Darla: Did you have a good day my sweatie?
Kevin: Yes baby
Kevin: Just that I have dislocation
Darla: Wwhat happened?
Kevin: A bike man hit me at leg
Darla: Ouch! Are you going to be okay? I wish I was there to kiss it more better.
Kevin: Baby I need to go the hospital tomorrow
Kevin: I will see if I can raise the money for the hospital
Kevin: I'm in pains now
Darla: Hunny can you snap a quick picture of your leg for me? Am worried.
Kevin: Did not injured that way
Kevin: Blood did not come out
Kevin: Just the hit of the bike
Kevin: And a lot of pains
Darla: Maybe you just have a bruise then?
Kevin: Yes
Kevin: But is very painful
Darla: I bet my Auntie Mary would have a remedy for it; she always knows how to turn tricks.
Kevin: ok
Darla: Am sooo wishing I could comfort you.
Kevin: Baby this is painful
Darla: Did the Police arrest the bicycle man for crashing into you my love?
Kevin: No baby
Kevin: He ran away
Darla: Then I hope you took his bicycle.
Kevin: Baby he ran away with his bicycle
Darla: That bicycle man is a coward and an all-round Fucker!!! Sorry for cursing but am madder than a dog tied to an ant hill with its ears smeared in rich creamery butter I am.
Kevin: Baby I know I will be fine
Kevin: But is there any way u can help me with little money my love
Darla: I don't know my love it's not my time of the month yet and rent is due soon.
Kevin: Rent is due soon for u not to render a small help for me
Kevin: Just little money so I can go to hospital tomorrow
Darla: Hunny send me your Bank account informations and I'll see what I can do okay?
Kevin: U are to send it through western union or money
Kevin: My account is local account and not for foreign currency
Darla: My love I just offered to help you and then you tell me what to do???
Kevin: I should tell u what to do?
Darla: No baby you SHOULD NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I offered to help you so maybe listen to me???
Kevin: ok
Darla: More better. Now get an account that I can transfer some money into and I will see what I can spare Baby.
Kevin: In that case I have to look for a friend or brother who has demos teary account
Darla: Please do baby and I'll see what I can do. Hunny I am going out to dinner with my friend Oscar but will be back in a couple hours ok?
Kevin: so when are u sending it?
Kevin: ok my love
Kevin: so when should is expect the money
Darla: If you give me the informations tonight I'll try to go to the Bank tomorrow morning my love. Will you be around in a couple of hours Baby?
Kevin: Ok my love
Darla: I'm just having a few drinks and dinner with Oscar so I shouldn't be too late. He wants to take me dancing too but he is a bit touchy feely for my liking.
Kevin: baby do not make me to be jealous pls
Darla: Awww don't worry about me I can handle those silly Canadians.
Kevin: ok
Darla: Later Gator
Kevin: he is from Canada?
Darla: Yeah he talks funny. See you soon my love.
Kevin: ok baby
AFTER DINNER WITH THER REAL OP
Darla: Hunny are you there?
Kevin: Yes I am
Kevin: Baby I have asked all the people I know and non seem to have the account
Kevin: Can u tell me why u can't send it to me through western union or money
Kevin: Cos that's the easy and fast way to send and received money around the world
Darla: My love I had trouble with that man Oscar and I need help.
Kevin: Which help do u need?
Kevin: And what trouble?
Darla: He asked me to his house to help him milk the goat he said and then started; he got really bad.
Kevin: Started what?
Kevin: And what did u do with him?
Darla: Sorry am crying but he then said he'd show me his Goalie stick and awww I can't talk about it.
Kevin: U make love with him right?
Darla: NO MR MAN I DIDN'T MAKE LOVE!!!! WTF???
Kevin: ok
Kevin: I complained about this but u said u can handle him
Kevin: So why are u crying?
Darla: Why am I crying??? I was assaulted that's why I'm crying! He said he was going for a double double or something then wanted me to see his Tim bits heck I didn't know what he was saying.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: So where are u now?
Darla: Am at home.
Kevin: ok
Kevin: U don't need to cry ok
Kevin: I love u so much
Kevin: Don't make me feel bad u know I am in pains now
Darla: Don't make you feel bad???? WTF??? He said he was going to play Mountie with me!!!
Kevin: What is Mountie
Darla: I don't know but he was trying to put his Canadian bacon in my private bits.
Kevin: And what did u do?
Kevin: Did him later put his Canadian bacon in ur private bits
Darla: After he told me he liked the Bare Naked Ladies I swung as hard as I could and I swing both ways so I got him square in the Forty Pounder.
Kevin: Pls stop I don't want to hear that again
Darla: wwhat???
Kevin: What u are just telling me
Kevin: Is making me angry pls
Kevin: We due respect u need to respect my feelings
Kevin: I told u before going out with him and u said u can handle him
Darla: Um sorry Baby I'll try not to get raped again okay??????????????????
Kevin: U just spoiled my mood now I told u what I'm going through and u add more to it
Kevin: Thanks a lot
Kevin: We suppose to be talking on how u will help me get some money so I can go to hospital tomorrow and get better
Kevin: For our plans to be accomplish now u are there telling me how Canadian idiot put his stick on ur private bits
Darla: Sorry maybe I'll go to a trauma center because you obviously don't care that I was attacked. Sorry for spoiling you Fucking mood.
Kevin: Thanks
Kevin: Was attacked by someone whom u claim to be ur friend
Kevin: If u know what I'm going through now u won't do anything to upset me
Kevin: If I told u that I followed a woman home and she forced herself in me would u be happy?
Kevin: I see that u don't have respect for my feelings and maybe I will let u be so I can have peace of mind
Kevin: Do whatever u wanna do cos I warned u and u choose to do things ur way
Kevin: Don't border messaging me
Kevin: bye
Darla: Hunny I was attacked and you treat me like this? Am a victim but you make it seem like its my fault??? I need your understanding and sympathy and now I'm just tossed to the curb???
Kevin: Help how am I going to help u
Darla: You could at least be nice to me as I was attacked and had to fight and run away but if you don't care about me then I guess why should I even ask?
Kevin: Why I'm angry with u is that I ask u about this guy u told me that is a friend and I said hope he won't do some thing stupid u said u can handle him that u know how to handle Canadian
Kevin: Now u can't handle him again
Darla: Hunny I thought he was a friend and he tried to rape me!!! Do you have any idea how traumatized I am at the moment or do you even care????
Kevin: I care and am jealous
Darla: Jealous??? WTF??? Do you have any fucking idea what I went through???? I thought we were a team and meant to be together!!!
Kevin: yes
Kevin: I am sorry for what u went through so put urself together
Kevin: I love u so much
Darla: Hunny I need to take a bath because I feel dirty will you be around in a while to console me? Please say yes!!!!
Kevin: Yes I will
Darla: Thanks you I'll try not to be too long
Kevin: ok

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 6:51 pm

How on Earth do these schmucks get women and men hooked?!

Quote:

Darla: Sorry maybe I'll go to a trauma center because you obviously don't care that I was attacked. Sorry for spoiling you Fucking mood.
Kevin: Thanks
...
Kevin: If u know what I'm going through now u won't do anything to upset me

ETA: Sorry. Wrong forum.

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