Dear lad, please write me a crime novel.

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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:38 am

A little over a week ago i picked up one from the surplus section, a "are you ded yet? Because someone tried to cash your inheritance and now we have your money."
So i replied, and their script fitted perfectly with my mine, as an old rich man with throat cancer. So no phone.
I've been passed up the food chain to a "bank", but i keep pestering the original lad about whats happening to those wanting me dead. And its quite entertaining.

Quote:

We have sent troop for the arrest of the characters for trying to defraud you and this establishment which is inline with the criminal code of conduct of this country.This office will inform you once she is arrested

Quote:

Our intelligence unit are at work and we will not rest on our oasis until LISA and her cohort are brook to book.Troops have been sent for the arrest of the characters and I assure you they will be brought to book

But his replies are short, i want him to write me a crime novel. Any how ideas to squeeze some more words out of him?

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:53 am

"You can always tell him "I don't under stand (whatever you like), could you please explain?"

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 1:19 pm

A lot of fine words coming from him, but not nearly enough.

Quote:

Our intelligence unit are at work.We will keep you abreast of any development concerning their arrest. Have you opened communication with the concerned office for your payment as directed in our subsequent email.

Ill try playing it a little dumb, perhaps he will cough up some good story. Now hes just beating around the bush.

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 2:21 pm

Good idea. Old men with throat cancer can be so easily confused, after all. Surprised

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Mat wrote:

subsequent email.

Good chance for de-education. Ask him what the hell subsequent means. Advise him that in modern English that word is no longer used. Tell him now 99% of all English speakers now use [insert long, complex, funny word of your choice here]. How can you do business with someone so illiterate?

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3876

^^

and keep in mind, barrister is such an old word. use shyster instead (or maybe barista?) Twisted Evil

aswell as p.s. means post scrotum and should be written this way Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 2:34 pm

Keeping with my 24 hours response delay, ill have to wait till tomorrow with my next reply.

But the next one should motivate him to write. Perhaps tell him that "the bank" cant follow simple instructions, and cannot receive the 450$ (why the 450? it seems to be their favorite "fee" atm.), that "the bank" requested to open an acc. To keep him on the hook.

Edit:
"The bank" is a lad further up the foodchain. Two diffrent IPs and reply patterns.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

@RH Subsequent is a word that just pisses me off.

I got it wrong in the 8th grade spelling bee and had to sit down. I spelled it s u b s i q u e n t. The scars run deep.

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