When a Lad is on the line; the Lad phone lexicon

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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 10:41 am

If you've called a Lad, there are many things you'll hear that become very familiar...

Listen to me
The first line Lads learn; the line that all Lads use.

You are very stupid
You are not stupid enough

You have to believe me
You’re not being stupid enough

I cannot lie to you
A lie

What would be my gain if I lie to you?
Lads lie for several reasons.

I am just a little boy
Usually followed by an age in the late teens or twenties

I really need your help
I really need your money

All what we need now…
… Is money

Do your possible best…
… Shut up and send me the money

What others do you know?

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:52 pm

Yastreb -- this isn't just for phone lads; email lads use a lot of the same tics. Let me think and I'm sure I can come up with a few others but, for now:

ok or okay
Used to mark the end of a sentence, much like we would use a period.

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:02 pm

"Give me the MTCN"
Stupid fool I need the Number.

"Good Brother"
Stupid Fool

"Send an E-mail"
I can't understand you so send the MTCN in an E-mail.

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:08 pm

I was embarrassed at the Moneygram office today.

Please send me another fake MTCN, so that I can have further humiliation tomorrow.

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:42 pm

Check your email.
I called you only to verify that you're a real person. We can't understand each other's accent, so the real message is in the email I just sent.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

"Go to WhatsApp" - meaning "I can't understand your accent/ you are being too clever (or something) for me and I am stuttering/this call is too expensive."

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:54 pm

My favourite line of all times is one that I've not seen mentioned here lately. I believe maybe it has died off, which is a true shame in my mind.

The line is "for reasons best known to me".

Here are some examples of how I have seen it used:

"I can't send you that pic, for reasons best known to me ok"

"I can't go to Abeche, for reasons best known to me ok"

"I can't get that tattoo, for reasons best known to me ok"

It's basically the most amazing/laziest excuse I've ever seen. Sadly, it looks like they may have retired it.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 6:04 pm

"Listen, Mr.Man,..."
I'm pissed off.

"I cannot see your number" "open your phone"
I want to see if you are lying to me where you are/or a Jokka.

"send me an email"
I forget what name I am supposed to be, format I sent out this week."

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 6:14 pm

"Pick your call." - The K7, Skype number, etc., went to voicemail
"I'm a matured man." - I like the immature details you put into our conversations.
"I could never steal from you." Unless you gave me a chance...

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:07 am

IROS
How Lads pronounce “IRS”

I am senior you!
Lads think that being old gives them authority

Precisely
Sometimes used as a verbal full stop instead of the usual 'OK'.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 20 Nov 2012 Posts: 68

One I got a few days ago- has this lad been de educated perhaps??

Quote:

Attached Below is our Delivery Information Request Form (COURIER HLP-FORM). For security reason due to lots of fraudulent act all over the world, Appropriate completion of this form is needed so as to confirm real ownership of Parcel brought to us for delivery to ensures that parcel is not delivered to the wrong person as we receive Emails and telephone calls from fraud stars and scams trying to claim other Winners Parcels. This is for our customers interest and our safety as well:

fraud stars???
It seems fairly common on some emails on here, but its the first time I have seen it in person in an email

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2008 Posts: 619

TM in some of his recordings gets especially tired of this one:

Hello?

I don't know if this one even has a translation, it seems to be said as a nervous reflex for no good reason, not because they can't hear anything on the line.

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 11:55 am

^ Lads seem to say "Yes" a lot of the time before answering a question. It gives me a chance to say "Yes is not the answer!"

Another couple of quirks that I've noticed (with Ghanaians especially) are the following.

When they talk of "putting the document in your name" they put a strange emphasis of the last word - "in your name"!

Equally, I've noticed that when Lads mention a certain pronoun it often comes out as a snarl - as in "I must talk to her!"

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 12:11 pm

"I can hear you" ~ "I'm not listening to a word you say."

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:41 pm

^^^Or "You've put me on the spot and I don't have a good excuse. Let's go back to emailing."

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 2:56 pm

"What you did to me (insert deed) was really bad."
I want you to wash, rinse and repeat.

"I was waiting for hours at the (airport, Western Union, bus stop) and you never showed up."
I'm looking forward to meeting you there tomorrow.

"I need supplies."
I need a fake MTCN.

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:08 pm

You are mad
You are acting too logically and I am so far off script I have no possible response.

I am a Man of God
There are no depths to which I will not sink to steal your money from you.

<Almost anything in pidgin>
You are doing a wonderful job of baiting me. Please keep up the good work.

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:46 pm

"Call me so I can outline the modality for a quick transaction"
I want to quicken my Scam with you by talking to you rather than send another 30 E-mails.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:05 am

"Don't tell anyone of this secret deal."
I don't want them to expose me as a scammer.

"The others are scammers, do not listen to them."
I am a scammer, too. I just do not want to be chopped by Mr. Gomer again.

"If I lie to you, God will strike me down!"
I'm lying to you.

"the refugee girl is in another camp building"
I'm too lazy to try and get a real woman on the phone to talk to you now.

"Im out on patrol in Iraq."
God, I hope she doesn't realize the Americans left a long time ago.

"pirates are attacking the ship, and trying to steal my trunkbox of money and jewelry."
I have no idea where I got this crazy story from, or why I'm using it, I just know it does sometimes work.

Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:16 am

I am not happy with you
That could actually be true!

How can you tell me shurrup?
Lads who are "senior you" don't like being told to shut up.

Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:14 am

"You are not Serious about this transaction."
I give up on you.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1300

I had a great chuckle at this on what's been a lousy morning. Great collection - all common to the lad vocabulary.

Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:15 pm

Ooooooooo

This moan has several applications.

*Trying to shame the maga - "Oooo, oooo, you don't want to help the little refugee boy"

*Mild vexation with the mage - "Oooo, oooo, why don't you understand me, it's your money!"

*Honest outrage - hearken to a recent dollar chop where the Lad kept groaning at every twist in the tale: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=267069

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1300

"We don't do bank becasue money is too small" = My oga won't give me an account unless it is worth more than $500.

Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 11:51 am

THis is Africa
... So we don't give invoices, supply bank accounts, and other excuses.

The line is breaking
Either there is real interference; or the Lad need times to think.

It is a network problem, a network problem
Often said after the line breaks.

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