Charity lad begging for pain

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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 3:16 pm

So, this bait started out as an assist with another bait. But it has now taken on a life of its own. You can see the rest at https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=262739&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

The lad is now looking for victims from bank manager Joe Walsh. So anyone who wants to bait this lad, just say the word.

Quote:

Dear Manager,

Well it was very nice and lovely reading from you, i hope all is well with you over there as am also in the great pool of good health here.

Sorry to tell you that Reverend Peters did not reply my last mail been sent to him, so how then did he got that false information for you that am back to the United States? Am still at my duty post and am not back to the states yet.

Please i will be very great and thankful to you if you could try your possible best to get me some of your customers who are ready and willing to give out to the poor and needy people of my lovely orphanage.

Also, i will want you to get me a bank account of your bank,, which i will provide you all the details that will be needed to open the account and i will give it to my good man in Ghana, that's to say i want you to open a bank account for my good man in Ghana and get him a credit card which he will be using for the withdrawals.

Will love to stop here hopping to be hearing from you.

Regards.

Chief-commander.

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 3:20 pm

Banker Joe sends his thoughtful reply. My apologies but I couldn't get the formatting function to work. The set-up is in the last paragraph.

"Dear Commodore,

I Must say that I had not expected such a keen sense of humor from you! Your suggestion that I open an account for you gave me such a laugh as I have not had in a very long time. The idea that I would stoop to doing the work of a lowly bank clark was pure comic genius! In fact, my secretary is still stricken with fits of giggles while going about her daily duties. Thank you ever so much!

By the by, if you are seriously opening an account with our bank, all you need do is either go online or send you good man to the nearest branch and fill out the paperwork. If for some reason you feel it necessary to have an account at our branch, I can certainly put one of my clarks on the job. You will simply need to supply them with the information necessary to open an account and, once we've verified your information (which should pose no problem, given your U.S. military status), we will be in business, as it were.

And you say the Reverend Peters is lying? Well, I'll just have to look into that, as he has always been quite straightforward in our business dealings.

As for your request to send bank customers your way, your erratic nature and demonstrated deficiencies in business acumen gives me some reservation in that regard. However, given your struggles with a certain degree with mental impairment, I am inclined to give you another chance. So, yes, should I have any more customers come to me with enquiries regarding charitible giving, I will be happy to pass them your contact information, in accordance with our agreed upon percentage/compensation structure, of course.

Best wishes and regards,

J.8. W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC"

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 4:49 pm

I'm always up for some fun with a church bait. Please check your PM.

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 2:14 pm

^^^Message received and reply sent. This lad can be pretty thin-skinned but I like to think Mr. Walsh has toughened him up a little bit.

His response is short but filled with hope - just the sort of lad who is in need of some old time religion. Laughing

"Well thanks very much and am hopping to be hearing from you soon, i will comply to your percentage and there we go with business. Try your possible best to direct any of your customers who had the feel of raising funds to poor and needy to me."

Smokin' Joe is happy to comply.

"Dear Comodore,

Yes, I believe that has been the plan all along. Naturally, I cannot make any guarantees but I'm sure something will pop up eventually.

As far as you and Reverend Peters are conserned, I have chalked it up to bad blood. And while I understand how you two could see as each other as rivals over the same donation monies, I had hoped you could at least make a show of civility. But not to worry. I believe there is enough of money in the world for anyone with the fortitude to go out and get it.

Best regards,

J.8 W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC"

Not quite a Newb Joined: 28 Jul 2014 Posts: 70

I just hate charity lads - send you a PM to join the fun

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:15 pm

^^^Got it. Check your inbox.

So, the stage is set. Banker Joe will find an opportunity soon.

The lad wrote:

Quote:

Thank you very much for that kind help and i really appreciate everything, hoping to hearing from you that one of your cherished customer is willing to donate to the poor and needy. Best and kind regards to you.

This is great because he is following the advice given to him by my fake lad. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 1:50 pm

The game is afoot. Time to see how well our lad has been trained.

Quote:

Dear Commander J0bs,

I must say that I had not expected to be in communication with you so soon, but an opportunity has presented itself that I think will benefit us both. You see, just yesterday the pastor of my chirch gave a most stirring sermon on our need for giving to the poor. I was nearly drawn in, myself! As you can imagine, there were many in the congregation who were moved to action and, as I have become aware of the orphanages run by you and the Reverend Peters, I decideded to offer what humble assistance I could. Well, we had quite a positive respond!

Naturally, given the business relationship I have already established with Rev. Peters, I am providing him the contact information for most of those responding. But I have not forgotten you, my friend, and am sending a few your way as well - including one of our higher ranking officials in my church.. And, as long as you don't muck things up with them, you can expect me to send more people your way.

The first person you should contact is M.L. Ch1lds, the high rank official I mentioned in The H0ly 0rd3r of Br34d and W1n3. You can reach him at the following address: maga#[email protected]. He's a good, god fearing man with whom I've played golf on a few occasions.

Then there is fellow parishoner D4n H4m1lt0n. He can be reached at:
maga#[email protected]. I don't know him well but I expect you to treat him as if he were my close friend.

And finally, there is a gentle man I've only just met. I don't recall his name, Nelson or some such, but can assure you that he is sincere in his desire to see that you and yours get everything they deserve. His email address is: maga#[email protected].

I think it goes witout saying that I am looking forward to seeing each of these gentle men in my office within the week. And just to let you know, I have told them that any monies I handle will include two thirds being set aside in a trust account for future needs. This, of course will be my cut of the action, as we've discussed.

Warmest regards as always,

J.8. W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC

Edit: "Reverend Peters" = my fake lad.

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 4:11 pm

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Yep, he just got in touch with me.

Quote:

Dear Dan Hamilton,

I deem it a great pleasure to write you, i hope you're in the pool of good health by his grace as am also fine here.

Well, am Steve Jobs, a military man from the United States of America who's currently at duty post in Baghdad,Iraq. Mr. J.B Walsh,the Branch Manager,HSBC who also happens to be a member of your church, is a good friend and also happens to be my manager. I also had that great and strong feelings human which i voluntary decided to help the poor and needy by bringing out an orphanage homes, one in Africa-Ghana and one also in France. Mr. J.B Walsh being a good friend to me helped me in so many ways in the welfare of the poor and needy and as being part of his kindness he gave your email to me to contact you, for you happens to be a good man and a God fearing person who also wants to give to the poor orphanage home of mine. It will be a very appreciable thing to the orphans if you help them, and also to tell you if you're to do any donation to the orphans i will like you to contact Mr. J.B Walsh and he will help you in the sending of any funds that you're willing to send to the orphans, will stop here hopping to be hearing from you soon.

Warmest Regards,

Steve Jobs
Commander-In-Chief

Dan looks forward to hearing much more about the little orphans:

Quote:

Ah yes, Mr. Jobs! It is wonderful to hear from you! I was speaking with J.B. at our Sunday services!

How are you doing in Iraq? I do hope that you are staying safe. Yes I would LOVE to hear more about your orphanage. How many children are there? Please tell me more I really want to hear more. GOD BLESS and stay safe my friend!

Regards, Dan

Not quite a Newb Joined: 28 Jul 2014 Posts: 70

Got the same mail - and answered. Think I'll play this very slow and see where it will take us. Time wasting is the first goal, but let's see if we can get more out of this lad. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:09 pm

^^^ You are the artist. Follow your muse. Very Happy

Stevie-pooh seems to have taken his training well...

Quote:

Dear Manager,
Well, thank you very much for all and i really appreciate any effort used to help me and my orphanage. I have contacted all the people given and also told them to come to you when they are ready to do any donation to the orphans and i really informed them about one branch of my orphanage which is in France. I hope you will have soon see one of them coming to you for you to help them send money to my orphanage and there you will have your percentage and give the remaining amount out to my orphanage. I guess you're doing great as I'm here. Will stop here, hopping to be hearing from you soon.

Warmest regards,

Steve Jobs
Commander-In-Chief

Given his pretended rank, I want so much to work in referring to him as "Mr. President"! Laughing

Quote:

Dear C0modore, J0bs,

Thank you for keeping me up to date. I had know idea yuo were branching out into France. Absolutely fabulous work! Carry on, sir.

Yours,
J.B. W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC

Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 5:23 pm

Good lad, good doggie.

Quote:

It was nice reading from both Mr. James and Mr. Dan but i was asked to give them more details about my orphanage, which i did that today and even add some pictures of the children. So am now hopping they reply positive to me.

Joe will send a reassuring email in the morning.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

Dear Mr. Dan,

It was very nice reading from you, i hope you're doing great as I'm here.

The home which started with 25 children is supporting 40 children. 20 Children in residence made up of 8 boys and 12 girls. The rest of the children (20) are community children. 9 of them are resettled children and we are also supporting 11 children in the communities which we call half- orphans. They are supported in education and where possible food. The ages of the children ranges between 5 - 15 years.

The activities of the home are supervised by two committees in Ghana and United States of America. Our future goals are: vegetables garden, expand our library, look for support for our children education and build a dormitory or youth center for resettled children who do not have family care.

To provide innocent children with opportunities of hope not only for today but for tomorrow; enabling them to unlock their potential both physically and mentally. Orphanages are home to hundreds of abandoned, poor and orphaned children aged from just a few days up to 18 years old suffering from Malaria, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, or AIDS, and almost all are malnourished. Even more easily preventable conditions such as scabies, ringworm and boils are also commonplace.

Within the four walls of such orphanages the children eat, play, sleep, learn and pray; they never leave. Each and every one of these children need our help and it is us, Orphans of Ghana, who believe that through listening to the needs of our children and working with the orphanages that they call home we can help build long term foundations.

Below are some attached pictures of the children which was been captured at their play ground.

Warmest regards,

Steve Jobs

Commander-In-Chief

He's spending some time on his responses and a bunch of pics of children. Dan will continue asking questions for a while...

Quote:

Oh what wonderful children! And with such snappy little outfits they really look great!

Tell me more about their living conditions. Do they all have safe places to sleep and eat? What do the children like to do for fun? Do they have any toys like laptop computers or Apple ipods?? I know many of the young children at our church enjoy playing with these electronic gadgets.

God bless you for all you are doing my friend!

Regards, Dan

Not quite a Newb Joined: 28 Jul 2014 Posts: 70

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Got the same answer to my mail - word by word what a lazy Lad. Of cause he's eligible for donation from Mr. J@me$ and his friends, but he'll have to wait until next week to get the good news - and then start to answer lot's of questions and eventually have to fill out applications and all sort of documentation.

Have a nice weekend every one on eater

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:14 pm

^^^ This lad is the poster child for lad laziness. Rolling Eyes

So Joe is a little disappointed in Stevie-pooh's performance but still trying to be optimistic.

Quote:

Dear Commodore,

Thank you again for your timely static report. Things are going a bit more slowly than I had anticipated, but I'm sure you can bring these good people around. My biggest concern is that you didn't mention mr. Child (aka "The Rev."). I will check with him on Sunday to enquire why he has not contacted you yet. So a bit of a slow start but then we've come to expect that, haven't we?

Best regards,

J.8. W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:10 pm

Stevie-pooh seems to be running into problems already!

Quote:

Dear Mr. Walsh,

I guess you're in good condition as i'm. Well, am very sorry for not informing you about Mr. Childs mail, he did respond to my mail and it was good hearing from him, you know verily that they can't just go ahead sending funds to orphanage without knowing much of it and that is why this became very slow, this will go fast when you throw more light on the orphanage, but all the same i did explain everything to them and we should expect good news from Monday going.

Kind regards
Steve Jobs
Commander-In-Chief

Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 5:08 pm

I just received a follow-up email from our boi:

Quote:

Well, the orphanage got so many need to be achieved and some of it's immediate need are as follows:mini bus, dormitory,library ,school uniforms,food,iPods,stationary,and some toys for playing at their leisure time, just to mention few.

You would think the founder of Apple would have access to all of the iPods he wanted, wouldn't you? Well, in any case, at least now I know what to put in the goodie box I will be sending to him...

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:39 pm

Stevie boi is being a good little soldier and keeping Joe informed.

Quote:

Well, The Rev. has been able to raised some food stuff,clothes,and some electrical gauged to be given to the orphanage, which i told him to send it direct to the management team of the orphanage, but as for the money, i told him to give it to you, for you happens to be my manager and also a good man to me, you hold the details needed to transfer any amount of money to the orphanage.I hope with this he will hand over the money to you, and you know what that means, you will then take your share and send the remaining amount to the management team of the orphanage.

Also, Mr. James and his group will meet this afternoon,and of cause will also come out with some amount too, which i don't know, but i told him to also give any amount that he and his group will be able to come out with to you, and you know what that means too,there you will again take your share and send the remaining amount to the orphanage.

I deeply apologize for any mistake done here,that you're not happy with.

Kind regards as usual,
Steve Jobs
Commander-In-Chief

RL intervened, so Joe will respond tomorrow, hopefully with some pork.

Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:57 pm

^^^ Go ahead and ask our boi for the pork so you can get everything set up and ready to go before I give you the money.

Somehow, I get the feeling that the good Rev. may have a bit of a problem once he learns that our boi isn't a member of the church... Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

Well thanks for your complements, i hope you're in good health as i'm her.

The orphanage luck so many facilities like, dormitory, library, and also need a mini bus which will help them in terms of tour to places which can help them in their education.

Also, they will need a beautiful playing ground and a computer laboratory. Just to mention few, will stop here hopping to be hearing from you soon, take care.

Regards,
Steve Jobs
Commander-In-Chief

Quote:

Yes I really believe that a computer laboratory is very important now more than ever! Children need to learn the newest technologies out there so that they can become productive members of society and they can get good jobs when they grow up! I know all of the children at our church are really good with computers!

I need to talk to my wife. We would like to send you a donation. We just need to have a family meeting and determine how we best feel that we can help these beautiful children.

Regards, Dan

Should we eventually coordinate a shipment to this lad? We could give $ to Walsh, and send a package of donations via GPS3.

Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:36 pm

^^^ Our boi definitely deserves to have a box of stuff shipped to him! Laughing

Joe has been busy getting ready for a trip to St. Andrews but still finds time to reply to Stevie-pooh.

Quote:

Dear Comodore Jobs,

Yes, The Rev. mentioned on Sunday the efforts he is making on your behave. Because he has an account with our bank, he won't have to "give" me anything other than directions as to how much money he wants transferred or withdrawn. To be honest, I haven't had time to check to see if the other two gentle men have accounts with us, but you can still send them my way to do any transfers.

As you now, I would prefer to handle all cash transactions via bank wire transfer, which brings us to my next question. Have you opened an account with a reputable bank, yet? Or are you still interested in me having one of my clarks begin that process for you? It would be a simple matter of gathering the required information and signatures from you or you little helper in Africa, verifying said information, then opening the account for your convenience.

Well, I'm off to the driving range. My Regional Manager has invited me to play a round of golf with himself and a few other Bank personnel at St. Andrews, this weekend, and I can assure you that I'm not about to be shown up on the links by that lot!

Oh, and there is no need to worry or apologize. Your performance is everything I've come to expect from you.

The usual warm regards,

J.8. W4lsh
Branch Manager, HSBC

P.S. The Rev. mentioned something to me about being concerned over your not being a member of our little flock. Nothing really to worry about. Just do your best to go along with whatever he says and perhaps you will soon be joining us for a round of golf..

Not quite a Newb Joined: 28 Jul 2014 Posts: 70

I'm currently playing this slow. My "group" have just decided that we will support the orphanage. I have tried to hint that we can pay him directly but he's very loyal and insist that the payments go through his manager Very Happy

Right now it's just a time wasting bait - any suggestion as to what we want out of this lad ? Thursten3rd is going after the accounts witch is fine, but can I contribute more than just wasting his time? I'll gladly play any supporting role that is required just let me know Very Happy

I'm all for sending some goods to him using our trusted delivery service Twisted Evil

/Ugly D

Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:27 pm

^^^ You can have a lot of fun with an orphanage lad because you are doing everything for them (i.e. sending them money) and they are providing you nothing in return. When most other lads promise us a bundle o'money (and for the purposes of the bait, we are required to pretend we believe in it) this gives them the leverage to hold it over our head. However, orphanage lads have no such illusion of power.

Therefore, have fun with them! Ask them for photos of the facilities, the playroom, the playground, the kids (be careful with this one), and so on. If you want to get your lad doing some arts & crafts work, ask them for thank you letters from the kids, samples of their art, and so on. Various forms and applications can also be fun.

The best part is, if the lad balks at anything, all you need to do is threaten to pull your funding. Since the lad has nothing else to counter you, he'll probably acquiesce (as long as your request isn't too ridiculous...).

Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 6:15 pm

TLH is right! Use your imagination and have fun. This lad doesn't even have a bank account that I've been able to see. That's why I keep torturing him with the "I'll be happy open an account once we have verifiable info" angle. Twisted Evil

Requests for trophy photos can be fun, especially the ones with people holding identifying signs (I had a lad in Ivory Coast screw up one of those several times). Boxes of goodies is also an excellent modality. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Quote:

Right now it's just a time wasting bait - any suggestion as to what we want out of this lad ?

^^Not a thing wrong with that UglyD! Very Happy

I think an eventually sending a package is a must. Just casually mention sending items. Ask if the orphans need medicine and shit like that.. eventually steer to discussion to small, expensive things. I have been asking him about computers, feel free to ask if the children have access to iPhones. I suspect they will need some. Very Happy

I can eventually mention to Joe Walsh how I want to send a package of donations, and he can put together a parcel of all our stuff and ship it off to him... but NO RUSH... dragging it out a few weeks is just fine.

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