Lad Dating lines that don't fly in RL

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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:42 am

Kind of like "goofy stuff you / your pets wrote" threads... Lines that work in the Lad dating world that would never fly in real life.

Can be stuff your lad/laddette has said to your character in email/chat/phone/etc. that you've let slide or things you've said to your love that somehow they've been ok with.

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 11:53 am

Love Lad from Match wrote:

Do you know about any good dating site?

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 6:58 pm

I've never had a lad balk at this line.

Quote:

I want a large family. You are ok with this yes? Because I can marry more than one wife...

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:45 pm

One Lad thought that tough talk would win Cammy's heart.

Quote:

Lad: i have africa man power
Lad: leave nicu for me
Lad: i will disgrace him by beating him to cry
Cammy: He has several different types of martial arts. He also has a concealed carry permit.
Cammy: And then you'd have to convince my brother. He's even tougher.
Lad: u dont know me
Lad: i do beat 4 men at a time
Lad: i went to night club here in london last weekend
Cammy: So?
Lad: i beat 5 men and all ladies was happy with me
Lad: thats the way i will beat nicu
Lad: tell him i wanna take u away from him by beating him to shame
Cammy: You're a fucking psychopath!

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:15 am

Quote:

i will beat nicu

Why would he beat a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit?

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:32 am

I have some nascient unpublished love baits going on right now. Here are some sweet nothings whispered in my ear lately:

Quote:

Yes honey Am still in afghan and been here for a year now and got 2yr tour ...I really hate been here and looking for the right woman to get me home for the leave here ...Am tired of been along all time ...We are on patrol all time to safe people life from Telrois here and trying to myself safe too ...patrol is hell ...Just looking someone to be my somate and be come my wife too ...You are very good looking woman and I would love to meet you in person and have spend my life with you there and with ur daughter too

Quote:

Oh am good and how are about you, how is life baby, it's meeting you baby, so what did you to earn a living?

Quote:

Thanks for getting back to me,am so happy u massaged me back

and, my personal favorite so far:

Quote:

I love reading the bible a lot cus I love meditation in His words most His son our lord jesus...Michael Jackson died few years ago, they call him late Jackson; Mandela died last year, they say late Mandela. But since over 2,000 years ago my Lord JESUS CHRIST died on the cross, and nobody not even the devil called Him late JESUS......is it a LIE!!! he can't dare it. WHAOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a living JESUS we serve, can someone help me hail Him.
He lives!
He reigns!!
He rules!!!
Halleluyah!!!!

I am all alone and looking for someone to spend my life with.

Yeah.... all of these guys would have me ducking for cover and hailing a cab in RL...

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 6:40 pm

Quote:

Depends if it's going by plane or boat.

My reply to a lad who wanted to know how long the transfer would take, he didn't bat an eye over it.

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:47 am

Here are two more examples of what Cammy has endured.

Quote:

Lad: cammy that i forgot
i have some thing to tell you
Cammy: Um... OK.
Lad: cammy will you marry me?
because i cant wait to have you as a wife
Lad: look all my friends are married with kids
Cammy: That's so romantic... NOT
Lad: i need to get mine too?
Cammy: I know very little about you. Hel – I haven't seen your picture yet.
Lad: or you dont like kids
Cammy: For the love of Freyja – saying you want to marry me because all of your friends are married with kids ain't exactly what I want to hear.
Lad: so what are you saying
you mean you are not intrested
or what?
Cammy: No, I'm not saying that.
Lad: tell me what do you want?
Cammy: I'm saying that I want to be wooed. I also want to see my potential husband first.

Quote:

Lad: u are hot bt i need u to be my wife
Cammy: O RLY?
Cammy: Just like that?
Lad: yes
Lad: i need u in my life

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 13 Jan 2014 Posts: 698

P*** has been well-meaning and eager to help since July, but catastrophe has a habit of striking him down just as he is making his way to WU.

First, he confused the word 'circumcise' with the word 'castrate' whilst talking to his surgeon, and had to suffer the unthinkable consequences; next the wound became infected, delaying his release from Hospital; Just as he is released from Hospital, his sheep farmer uncle in Scotland dies and, as soul hair and bunny fishery, he must spend time in Scotland selling the farm and liquidating the estate; sheep rustlers strike and he is 'rubbed' as he walks towards WU with cash in his pocket; he lands up in hospital with stab wounds and once again the wound becomes infected (well, it worked once - why not again?); this time the infection is bad and he falls over a deep comma; when he regains consciousness, he has lost his memory and sends desperate messages to the woman who keeps calling him her 'lovely husband', pleading for information about their past life together, whether or not they have children, why are they apart, etc:

Quote:

Now that I am rich when I sell my uncle's farm, I would love to have you here beside me, but how sad that you no longer love me.

I have tried so hard to remember everything and you have have done nothing to help. I don't understand you. You say you are my wife, but when I try to explain my troubles you say it makes you tired and you say I'm lying. You don't answer my questions and you don't even tell me where you are or why you are not here beside me. I am very sick, V*** and you are being either very cruel or maybe just very stupid. This is no way a loving wife should behave. I have looked and looked carefully at all my papers and messages that might help me remember you and all that had happened between us but there is nothing.

Quote:

My dearest the reason is that you lie a lots i hate lies right from the beginning you always tell me you are sick today your dick tomorrow cancel next tomorrow people rub you are collect western union from you all lies ok i hate that you are not serious or is that how they love over there in your country and also you can even care about my life when i am in pains here at the camp even common 100 pound i ask you for the past 2 months you are giving story until today have you forget that i use money to buy time on cyber cafe to be sending you mail or do you want me to be borrow money from different people to be written stupid things at the cyber never ok if you are serious stop lie to me and talk like human and mature man i am tired bye

It's still going strong, by the way ...

ETA:

Just received: this little gem of lazy editing, each from the same script:

Quote:

I know you will forever be my sweetheart husband .....

Quote:

...... You are my wife and there is not a single day I want to spend without you. Come to me darling and make me yours.

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2014 7:10 am

From a lad on FMF...

Quote:

I am a sturborn but gentle baby...who loves sucking my mother's breast..,

Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2014 11:41 pm

An excerpt from a Chat:

Quote:

Lad: M respect you
Darkla: But you are a Moron with a Baby dick.
Lad: M not idiot ok
Darkla: At least you agree with the Baby Dick part. The rest might take a lot of time Stupid.
Lad: Sorry

Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:56 am

One told me "I want to pregnant you". Urgh. Even if it had been possible; just uurgh.

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:20 pm

Quote:

I know it's hard to find woman and trust a woman - giving your heart, body and soul, but know it's me that's on my knees swallowing my pride, begging you, please ... once again I say please, If you really serious about me cos am badly in pain in the pass and i want it to go away ........

You had me at "pain in the pass"....

Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:43 pm

On Tagged chat, after talking to a lad twice, she sends this...

Quote:

talk to me
You there?
talk to me
talk to me
why are you doing this to me, please talk to me now
if you dont love me let me know

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:21 am

elsewhere on tagged, a lad sends me this...

Quote:

who are u? your picture looks horifying to me.

Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:54 am

Lad wisdom on life after having children...

Quote:

cos you have a kids you don't need to sex again

Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 2:21 am

Explaining that I will not be faithful in the relationship..

Me: I never would do something behind your back, so that is why I am telling you I like sleeping with other girls some times

Annabel: I can see you always honest to me that is the reason why I love more and more.

Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:38 pm

Vicent being romantic

Quote:

I_want_a_sex_you

Josh being romantic

Quote:

Kindly give me a comprehensive detail about yourself

Only just beats 'do you come here often' !

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:28 am

Quote:

Dear i dont love a lady by her looks,her money or her age,i only chose a lady with a beautiful.heart,But after many mails you had underestimated me,its ok dear and once i have time i will send you another mail about trust.

Um, yeah. Because that's exactly the response a woman would look for when she asks a man if he finds her attractive. A lecture on trust. Yup.

Here's my reply to him (avert your eyes if you're easily offended!!)

You are a sweat man to put up with my crazy woman ways. Sometimes I am on my menstrual cycle and I act up and get bitchy and I know it comes out in my emails. LOL there is a saying here, when we women are acting a little crazy we say, "are you on your bleedy time?" and that's how I know to not be so underestimating. Just tell me if I sound bleedy, OK?

Oh I truly hope I can train this one to use that phrase with me!! I will give him very positive reinforcement whenever he does, in the hopes that he'll use that with vics.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18312

^^^

I'll never forget the lotto lad who told me he wanted to suck out my body juice. (Like a spider?)

Similar thread from years ago, with examples of bad loving: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=184739

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:41 am

Here are some highlights from a Cammy bait that developed a "love" angle.

Quote:

be fast in helping release this money so that i will be yours and we can gum together forever and have issues.

Quote:

now i am very good in bed ,and i can do anything to please a woman…

Quote:

i am wounderful in bed i can suck your puzzy till your wet and i can lick your white object till is dry

Quote:

what is the colour of your puzzy pink or red wonna know am hungry let finish this transaction fast so that we will gum together

Quote:

oh your making me crazy i want to have it as soon as possible pink is the most current and as is tender it will have alot of pleasure my dick very big and hot do you like big dick i am very good in cat style with my big hot dick

If you should feel nauseated, I won't be surprised.

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 4:39 pm

Kitty La Gore wrote:

You are a sweat man to put up with my crazy woman ways. Sometimes I am on my menstrual cycle and I act up and get bitchy and I know it comes out in my emails. LOL there is a saying here, when we women are acting a little crazy we say, "are you on your bleedy time?" and that's how I know to not be so underestimating. Just tell me if I sound bleedy, OK?

You owe me a keyboard... Laughing

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