Nice fresh hitlad available.

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Show Me The Goodies Joined: 18 Oct 2014 Posts: 301

i searched what a nigerian was frightened off and threatened such via fire and brimstone if i did not get a full apologie for the the threats .....epic fail , i have heard nothing unless a family member really has turned into a snake and ate him Rolling Eyes

Elite Baiter Joined: 21 Jan 2010 Posts: 1474

I tried him from a different angle (I suspect it will have been tried before):

Quote:

Dear Mr Joshua,
This may seem paradoxical to you but I am very grateful to my bother for contacting you for it must be he who has done so.
For several years I have suffered with a degenerative muscle wasting disease that has left me chair bound and in constant pain.
My brother has obviously decided to pay you handsomely for your sevices as assisting a suicide is still illegal in this country.
Please could you let me know when is convenient for you to travel to my house and do the job that the medical community are too spineless to carry out?
Thank you,
Elizabeth

He didn't reply so Elizabeth poked him:

Quote:

Dear Mr Joshua,
Are you there? Please answer me,
Elizabeth

The lazy sod replied:

Quote:

Hello Elizabeth i don,t have time for question and answers

This pissed Elizabeth off a bit:

Quote:

So are you saying that you are a rubbish hitman?
I offer you a freeby and you can't bother your worthless, infantile moronic self to take me up on it?
What a waste of space - I have nothing but contempt for you. You are pathetic,
Elizabeth

Nothing back yet. He's not exactly a dynamo is he?

Show Me The Goodies Joined: 18 Oct 2014 Posts: 301

^^^^^^
Thats funny ..lol..

Even if he is reading emails and does not reply at least its pissing him about and his time is wasted .

Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 2:11 pm

Well going for pork

Me
Ok tough guy.

Just cut the crap and tell me how much I owe you. Okay.

Give me a bank account and I will transfer your funds. And I wont got to the police "cause I am guilty too.

So cut the shit and lets do business. Okay

Bxxxxy ( The bone breaker)

His response

Do you have the $20,000, 00 dollars now? because that is what you own
me and mine your language

Oh gosh, a bad guy that has murdered thousands of people. And he does not like my language.

Sounds like time for Bernie to give him a lad slap.

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 905

SLAP him into the middle of next week! Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 3:21 pm

He does seem to be answering victims individually rather than a script, I quite admire his style. My character replied to the original death letter:
Why you do this terrible thing????What have i done to you??? I am a good woman who never hurt anyone you must have got the wrong person so plese leave me alone

Quote:

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN,T HIDE FROM US
i already told you before that your life is in a great denger, why you are still living is because i tell my men to wait, because i have go through your fucking details and i see you still have to live this beautiful life, right now your life is in my hand hahahahahaaahaa.....

I love killing people slowly, especially one of my hit man don kaka, that guy is worst than the devil itself is always with you 24 hours one call can make you bleed to dead.....
i was pay a very huge sum of dollars to waist your entire family right now i want you to come up with just $20,000,00 dollars, if nothing is done is week then KISS MY GUN NEXT WEEK

oh plese dont kill me mr clement Godbutt i just need time to get your money. I see a man in a car outside my house all day is this your man kaka? .Plese can you give me few days until i get paid an i will give you as much as i can but no way can i get $20,000,00 dollars but if you kill me you will get nothing at all

Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:38 pm

I've decided to not act overly 'Goofy'in this one (For now) and go for a Bank Account:

Quote:

Please don't kill me!!!! How can I get the Money to you?????

AND the Ass Clown responds with this:

Quote:

Hello do you really think i have time for questions and
answers, i told you pay me the sum of $20,000,00 dollars only for me to
go away ..But if you are not ready to cooperate with me then i have no
other option than to kill you ... do you have the money with you right now?

Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:49 pm

He is one lazy lad it took him 5 days back in June 2012 to send this.

Quote:

Hello for your information i am running out of patient

Last I heard from him, I think I will have another go with another addy.

Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:46 am

Apparently my:

Quote:

life is in a great denger

because:

Quote:

one of my hit man don kaka, that guy is worst than the devil itself

and:

Quote:

one call can make you bleed to dead

If this lad wasn't real, you'd have to make him up! Smile

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

He is using some scripts. I got the exact same message as Yabadabadoo. Of course, my easily frightened character can't afford that and needs more time!

Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:36 am

My character has gone to the bank and gotten the $20000 in cash. All the hitlad has to do is knock on my character's front door to get paid Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:22 pm

Energetic hitman he is not, it took three days to get this rambling rubbish and just look at the test question:

Quote:

Below is the information for you to go and make the payment via western union money transfer, you are advice to make the payment in the name of our agent in south africa for security reason, is the one that is going to be giving me fill back whether you will live or not, so you better have it mind that you are going to pay this money to Africa country for security reason, if any happen to any of my men you are dead. no excuse.
Name: FRANS BRENDEN TALA
Address: 168 Gatilmore street
State: Johannesburg
Country: South Africa
Text Question: Yes
Text Answer: Yes
MY MEN WILL MONITOR YOU TO THE BANK SO DON,T TRY ANY THING STUPID
DO YOU WANT TO SEE THIS YEAR ENDING? THEN BETTER PAY THIS MONEY

My old lady is terrified but not completely stupid:
i told you i need time to get your money. .Plese can you give me few days until i get paid an i will give you as much as i can maybe $1200 but no way can i get $20,000,00 dollars
IF YOU KILL ME YOU WILL GET NOTHING ZERO NADA RIEN plese give me a chance

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 18 Oct 2012 Posts: 611

He is a lazy hitlad...don't these guys need to be faster to be successful? After all, it's harder to take them seriously if they aren't keeping the pressure up...not that I'm complaining mind you! The less people he scams the better!

Anyway, I've received no response since my reply on Monday.

Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:14 pm

I gave the Lad a nasty slap.

Lots of potty mouth, a reverse threat, a few homo jives and a small boi or two for good measure.

No response. No black SUV outside the door.

My goodness, folks like this are truly sad. He even can't be a good bully.

Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:44 pm

He isn't budging on the Bank Account:

Quote:

Hello so you mean you are the one that is giving me an option on what
to do, I am really running out of time, you better go and make the
payment as soon as possible with the info I gave you.

I just ain't going there:

Quote:

Yes I am putting my foot down! Sent me your Banking information or I'll really give you a piece of my mind!

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 905

^ I can almost hear the SLAP OF THE CENTURY coming up from here already! Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 07 May 2014 Posts: 206

I have one week to pay XD. One week to think of a great plan.

Although I am thinking insta-chop on Skype. Anyone interested?

Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 6:06 pm

Joshua and I have an agreement at the moment.

He wants $20,000 to spare my life... but I said he is living the wrong sort of life and he should give it up !

So... he says if I pay him $30,000 he will give up being a hitman !

Just waiting for him Bank details.... but he never replies straight back anyway. Doubt I'll get them but it's funny !

I'm saving his soul.

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 1:30 am

Why don't you see if he'll fill out a couple of forms to show he's serious about reforming his way of life?

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 9:10 am

I'll try.... as usual it's been a couple of days since I last heard from him... but he only seems to answer occasionally.

He's just a sweet misunderstood boy really.... I'll see if I can coax anything from him....

Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 6:45 pm

Mary writes: thank you for waiting, I get my pay on Friday end of the month, plese can you wait until then it is the best i can do

Quote:

Mary honestly i don,t no why i am really doing this, let on Friday
be on Friday okay i don,t want any excuse by Friday, write down the
western union details i give you and do everything possible to send
the money on Friday which is already tomorrow because if i don,t get
the money you will regret so much.....

Mary replies: OK Mr Clement Joshua I got my pay today and I can give you $1923 USD that is all I have left after I pay my rent and keep only $220 for my food, I will go to western union tomorrow and send your money will this be ok plese don't frighten me any more

I don't want to post the full Ladspeak threats on open forum but Satan Gomer now writes to the hitman warning him off. Mary is his maga and Clement the hitman should stay clear.

Quote:

Hitman replies: Make u go sleep and stop fooling yourself okay, I just dey hussle nothing much

Bad move. Satan writes again to warn Clement that he has sent his Hit-Ghost dey demon OGUN to chop his money and suck his blood. Dey spirit M'Shimba'Mshamba sees everything that goes into Western Union and will steal the payment Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:26 am

I think I have found his 'feminine side'

Quote:

you are advice to pay the sun of $30,000 today and i will stop killing people
okay and get back to me with the information below
to enable the bank confirm the payment

No No No.
I will not go into a Money shop... any one of them.
Give me a Bank Account and you will have the money today.
If not... shoot me !

I am waiting to hear from you dear.
Let me pay you to not do this to people.
It isn't nice. God would not like it.
Let me save you.

Quote:

I don,t want your money anymore okay, keep It to your self, and after
killing you I will kill more people and God will hold you responsible
for it,

Oh Joshua I am so disappointed.

I was sure you would be able to retire from your bad ways and be a good person.
I have been waiting for your email. I even thought we could meet somewhere and talk
I was so proud of you.

You know Joshua.... you are a good man underneath. OK, at the moment it is is a long
way underneath. But I know you are a good man.

Your mother must be so upset with your work. She carried you and had you as a little
boy. It would be so nice to have her boy back !

Please reconsider Joshua. I am still here to help you. I am thinking money, a wife,
children.... and a good life.

Quote:

How can I be your friend when I am so poor ?

Quote:

so what are you saying give me $30,000 then i will change

Joshua listen to me.... I have said this.
I will send you $30,000 (not by Western Union though.. such a lot of money).

You sign something I send you and say you'll change and stop the killing.

I will even pay for you to come here and be my friend. Come live in my home.
You will have a good life.

I would love you to be my son.

Your friend,
***********************

So we'll see if he wants $30,000 to change ! At least he's reading and off script ... not much I don't think his English is great... but he's a bit of fun !

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:26 am

I think I have found his 'feminine side'

Quote:

you are advice to pay the sun of $30,000 today and i will stop killing people
okay and get back to me with the information below
to enable the bank confirm the payment

No No No.
I will not go into a Money shop... any one of them.
Give me a Bank Account and you will have the money today.
If not... shoot me !

I am waiting to hear from you dear.
Let me pay you to not do this to people.
It isn't nice. God would not like it.
Let me save you.

Quote:

I don,t want your money anymore okay, keep It to your self, and after
killing you I will kill more people and God will hold you responsible
for it,

Oh Joshua I am so disappointed.

I was sure you would be able to retire from your bad ways and be a good person.
I have been waiting for your email. I even thought we could meet somewhere and talk
I was so proud of you.

You know Joshua.... you are a good man underneath. OK, at the moment it is is a long
way underneath. But I know you are a good man.

Your mother must be so upset with your work. She carried you and had you as a little
boy. It would be so nice to have her boy back !

Please reconsider Joshua. I am still here to help you. I am thinking money, a wife,
children.... and a good life.

Quote:

How can I be your friend when I am so poor ?

Quote:

so what are you saying give me $30,000 then i will change

Joshua listen to me.... I have said this.
I will send you $30,000 (not by Western Union though.. such a lot of money).

You sign something I send you and say you'll change and stop the killing.

I will even pay for you to come here and be my friend. Come live in my home.
You will have a good life.

I would love you to be my son.

Your friend,
***********************

So we'll see if he wants $30,000 to change ! At least he's reading and off script ... not much I don't think his English is great... but he's a bit of fun !

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:42 pm

Gomer has warned hitlad to keep off his maga, now Mary says she has an email from Mr Gomer who claims to be the hitlad's hitman:

Plese dont frightn me like this I said I will pay you so why you tell your man gomer to mail me and scare me more????? He says you tell him to cut me and suck my blood if i did not send money to your new details so I go to westernunion right now

Panic in Ladland with mails at 10 minute intervals:

Quote:

Let me see the western union details he send to you, measure you send the money to Brenda not the new info

Hello mary if a man called man gomer mail you and give a western union details don,t make any payment to him because he is a hacker... I don,t know him.

You must know him becoz he say he is your man how else does he know my mailbox and how else he know where find me so he can kill me if I do not pay you????
Here is the western union recepit you asked to see now you know I have paid you plese plese plese stoop thbis now i am so scared i cant sleep, take your money and leave me alone Attached is a WU receipt made out to Gomer in Lagos, Nigeria. Meantime Gomer has sent a gloating message to hitlad thanking him for the payment Laughing

Quote:

I don,t know what you send, western union is digit number is only 10 number and why did you send it to goma in nigeria he a internet hacker, so better go and collect your money back

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 2:30 pm

I love that.... now he will know you can't get your money back !
But you have paid !

he's very skittish for a hitman don't you think !

Nice fresh hitlad available.	View next topic View previous topic