Over My Dead Body

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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:30 pm

Dr. Asina Brainless obviously does not read my mails.

Quote:

Dear sir, [Oh dear, not again!!!]

Today is the deadline of this matter but because of my position as executive governor of Bank Negara Malaysia i was able plead from the director of Icbc Bank on your behalf to grant you 2 more days extension and he promise and agreed to give us more days extension to receive your bank items with DHL services after you make the payment for the registration of your name and transaction from an insurance company who is going to stand on your behalf for this transaction.

After you pay the balance of the fee today,between 48 hours i am going to send your bank draft and atm card to your house address with immediate effect.

Please get back with the payment details so that we can complete this job for you today. I was lucky to help you get the extra 2 days extension on this matter so you see that this matter required your urgent attention because is very serious and i can send you letter of guarantee from ICBC bank that after you pay this remaining balance of the insurance fee, the insurance company will take over this project and the icbc bank will immediately release your fund, i can send you the assurance letter if you want please let me know so i can send the copy to you immediately.

Please call me for clarifications +1929224XXXX and also let me know you receive this important message and serious message from myself.

Thanks and God bless you,

Regards,

DR. ASINA

He won´t like the answer:

Quote:

Dear Dr. Asina,

I just finished my last watch for today and found some time to check my mailbox. Many thanks for your message, however i get the impression that you are not reading my mails, at least not properly. I am currently east abeam the Indonesian Bangka Island, precisely at 2°36'30.57"S 106°56'41.32"E according to our GPS and doing around 15 knots. I won´t be going on shore for the next 3 to 4 weeks until we arrive in Perth. If the payment is urgent I can do an online transfer from my account at the Bankhaus Partin, Germany.

Although I sent you a file clarifying my gender you still keep addressing me as "Sir". Please call me Gretchen or Ma´am.

That´s all from me for now, I´m off to my bunk. Breakfast is at 7:30 and I am again at the helm 08:00 sharp.

Yours truly,

Gretchen

Gretchen´s bank in Germany is a real one that went out of business - fraudulent bankruptcy - in 2001. I have original details like BLZ as well as fake Swift code, fake account statements, fake letterhead - in short everything to make an honest and genuine online transfer - which will mysteriously bounce - once the lad gives me the account details of his mule in California. So Fingers crossed, it did work once already.

Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:49 pm

One day later Mr. Brainless sends his last mail again.

Gretchen replies blunt and short:

Quote:

East abeam Krakatau, southbound 175 deg MN, GS 12 kts

Dear Dr. Asina,

did you read my last message to you?

And please stop calling me "Sir", it is getting silly.

Yours truly,

Gretchen K. (Mrs.)

Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:35 pm

This pointless conversation continues with the lad sending scripted automessages while Gretchen is "sailing" southbound to Perth in Australia.

Then this reply comes in from [email protected]:

Quote:

final recipient: my [email protected]
Action: failed
Status: 5.2.2
Diagnostic-Code: smtp;552 5.2.2 This message is larger than the current system limit or the recipient's mailbox is full. Create a shorter message body or remove attachments and try sending it again.

No matter how short I keep the mail, it bounces back.

It looks like the lad´s mailbox is flooded and he has either abandoned it or he is unable to access it and clean it out.

Gretchen will have to wait.