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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 3:39 pm

My baiting Skype profile has the same avatar as I have on Eater, so anyone non-baiter who contacts me is likely special. Meet princilla from Ghana

Quote:

[1:08:00 PM] princilla.adu: Hello! Please add me to your Contact list.
[1:14:54 PM] *** Me has shared contact details with princilla.adu. ***
[2:29:57 PM] *** Call from princilla.adu ***
[2:30:17 PM] *** Call from princilla.adu ***
[2:30:23 PM] Me: I am sorry, but my computer does not have a microphone.
[2:31:47 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[2:32:33 PM] princilla.adu: no problem my dear ... but i will be grateful if you can have a chat through typing
[2:32:50 PM] princilla.adu: ,,,, can i have a little of your time to chat with you now my dear
[2:32:58 PM] Me: If you want
[2:33:52 PM] princilla.adu: thanks for your time
[2:34:29 PM] princilla.adu: but i am also sorry for interrupted your privacy this time
[2:34:58 PM] Me: If you've got something to say - spit it out. I don't have time for crap small talk.
[2:36:54 PM] princilla.adu: i understand by the way i am called princilla a new member to skype and i did join that yesterday
[2:37:18 PM] princilla.adu: because of that i will be gratefull if you don't maid accepting me as your friend
[2:37:33 PM] Me: If you like
[2:37:55 PM] princilla.adu: i am so interested to meet you are my friend
[2:38:28 PM] princilla.adu: by the way ...if i may ask where are you from
[2:39:19 PM] Me: Albania
[2:40:07 PM] Me: Where are you from?
[2:40:30 PM] princilla.adu: if i may ask where in world is that Albania are
[2:42:31 PM] Me: It is a State in Canada, just north of Accapulco
[2:43:43 PM | Edited 2:43:46 PM] princilla.adu: i understand .... i want to introduce myself to you well .... will you give me the chances
[2:43:56 PM] Me: Just get on with it
[2:44:07 PM] Me: You didn't tell me where you are from
[2:45:30 PM] princilla.adu: ghana
[2:45:48 PM] Me: Where is Ghana?
[2:46:24 PM] princilla.adu: it is located in Africa
[2:46:43 PM] Me: Is that near Australia?
[2:46:59 PM] princilla.adu: no
[2:47:03 PM] princilla.adu: you have not heard anything about Ghana before
[2:47:22 PM] Me: No, it must be a very small and insignificant place as I've never heard of it.
[2:47:51 PM] Me: If it is in Africa, do you know Chief Umbongo in Kenya? THat's Africa isn't it?
[2:50:10 PM | Edited 2:50:31 PM] princilla.adu: l am calling from West aFRICA
[2:51:10 PM] Me: I was speaking to the Chief earlier, he is selling me a ton of Ivory, that I will import into Canada for use as dildos.
[2:51:24 PM] princilla.adu: l am new to skype and l was random searching for friends tochat with them andl find you l l hope that it si not a problem and about you
[2:51:38 PM] Me: G-string or thong?
[2:52:12 PM] princilla.adu: l heard about that before that was G-string
[2:52:51 PM] Me: Nice - shaved or au naturel?
[2:53:31 PM | Edited 2:54:25 PM] princilla.adu: what did you means by this Nice - shaved or au naturel?
[2:54:31 PM] Me: it means that g-strings are nice then I asked you a question.
Are you shaved or au naturel?
[2:55:09 PM] princilla.adu: au naturel
[2:55:27 PM] Me: You're not a ladyboy are you?
[2:55:44 PM] princilla.adu: no , l am not a lady boy
[2:56:26 PM] princilla.adu: please can you tell me a little something about yourself
[3:02:37 PM] Me: That's is a shame - can you provie it? Do you know any ladyboys?
[3:03:22 PM | Edited 3:03:36 PM] princilla.adu: what did you means by the ladyboys ?
[3:03:56 PM] Me: Don't they have ladyboys in Ghania?
[3:04:10 PM] Me: Perhaps you could set up a business importing them.
[3:04:46 PM] Me: They are very popular in Nigeria.
[3:05:02 PM] princilla.adu: what did you means by the ladyboys ?
[3:05:27 PM] Me: You know, ladies with a little extra something.
[3:05:47 PM] Me: WOuld you like to set up a business importing ladyboys? You would make a fortune.
[3:07:18 PM] princilla.adu: l don't understand you means by this ?
[3:07:59 PM] Me: You're a lady aren't you? And you like boys?
[3:08:53 PM] princilla.adu: no, l don't lilke boys
[3:09:18 PM] princilla.adu: as l am chatting with right now l am having boyfriend
[3:09:44 PM] princilla.adu: but what are you looking for on skype ?
[3:10:00 PM] Me: Ah OK, does your boyfriend mind that you are lesbian?
[3:10:39 PM] princilla.adu: l am not a lesbian
[3:10:56 PM] Me: You said that you don't like boys.
[3:11:04 PM] Me: Don't you like girls either then?
[3:11:47 PM] princilla.adu: l do like boy but l am loolking for right man to come in my life that is why
[3:11:54 PM | Edited 3:12:16 PM] princilla.adu: and what about you
[3:13:39 PM] Me: No, I'm not looking for a man
[3:17:43 PM] princilla.adu: are you not looking for woman
[3:17:46 PM] princilla.adu: ??
[3:18:03 PM] Me: No, I've got 5 of them already, couldn't cope with any more.
[3:19:13 PM | Edited 3:19:34 PM] princilla.adu: ok l understand you andl hope that you are looking for right woman to make a new life with her right
[3:19:33 PM] Me: THat depends - do you have big knockers?
[3:22:33 PM] Me: Armadillo
[3:23:35 PM] Me: Are you still there or are you off servicing your boyfriend?
[3:32:25 PM] *** Call from princilla.adu ***
[3:32:27 PM] princilla.adu: ohyes, l am around
[3:32:39 PM] princilla.adu: oh yesl l agree with you
[3:33:05 PM] princilla.adu: but what type of woman areyou looking for ?
[3:33:17 PM] Me: living
[3:33:52 PM] princilla.adu: what did you means by this living but l am not asking for what you do for living ?\
[3:34:11 PM] Me: As long as she has a pulse, I'm not fussy - and even that is optional.
[3:34:31 PM] princilla.adu: ok l understand you
[3:34:52 PM] Me: Do you think Obama should invade Russia?
[3:35:22 PM] princilla.adu: oh yes , l do think that please\
[3:35:39 PM] princilla.adu: but what did you do for living ?
[3:35:49 PM] Me: I personally think he should push the button and nuke them.
[3:36:05 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[3:36:26 PM] Me: After that, he can move on to France.
[3:36:38 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[3:37:03 PM] Me: Do you think they'll manage to split the atom?
[3:37:17 PM] princilla.adu: l don't know
[3:37:38 PM] Me: I'm hoping that they do.
[3:38:11 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[3:38:34 PM] Me: So what is life like in Gambia?
[3:39:28 PM] princilla.adu: l am noti in Gambia but l am calling from West Africa , Ghana
[3:39:59 PM] Me: Same thing isn't it?
[3:40:10 PM] Me: Isn't Africa that small country next to Greece?
[3:40:43 PM | Edited 3:40:47 PM] princilla.adu: Greece is not in African
[3:41:04 PM] Me: Sorry, I meant Antartica.
[3:41:36 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[3:41:48 PM] Me: Do you have any drugs?
[3:42:07 PM] princilla.adu: no , l have had some before
[3:42:20 PM] princilla.adu: l live in a good life
[3:42:27 PM] Me: I live in an igloo
[3:42:40 PM] Me: What drugs do you do?
[3:42:44 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[3:43:05 PM] princilla.adu: l don't take in any drug
[3:43:27 PM] Me: Would you like some?
I've got crack, heroin and C.AKE.
[3:44:31 PM] princilla.adu: can you send me some
[3:45:00 PM] Me: SUre, what do you want? I recommend the C.AKE - gives a great high.
[3:45:36 PM] princilla.adu: l like the great high
[3:45:56 PM] Me: Sniff talcum power - you won't believe it
[3:46:29 PM] *** Call from princilla.adu ***
[3:46:39 PM] Me: Are you stupid? I told you I have no microphone
[3:48:31 PM] princilla.adu: please what are insalt me
[3:48:46 PM] Me: I don't know, what are insalt me?
[3:51:35 PM] Me: Don't go away, I've got to take the goldfish for a walk - back soon.
[3:54:26 PM] princilla.adu: what about goldfish
[4:14:07 PM] princilla.adu: please i know you very good friend
[4:19:11 PM] princilla.adu: please if you ilike me ican show my self to you

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 3:49 pm

I am going to start a running tally on the number of keyboards you owe me!! LMAO

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:25 pm

For Fryer

Two in one day. Meet Osei, who's profile says she's in Chile, but she says she's in Ghana.

Quote:

[5:07:39 PM] Osei Akua: hi
[5:08:28 PM] Me: Hello
[5:08:36 PM] Osei Akua: How are u
[5:09:12 PM] Me: Not well, the Syphilis is flaring up again I'm afraid.
[5:09:24 PM] Osei Akua: what
[5:09:40 PM] Me: You asked me how I am, so I told you.
[5:09:42 PM] Me: How are you?
[5:10:01 PM] Osei Akua: am fine and u
[5:10:20 PM] Me: I just told you, the Syphilis is flaring up again.
[5:10:34 PM] Osei Akua: ok
[5:11:50 PM] Me: So, where are you located?
[5:12:21 PM | Removed 5:12:26 PM] Osei Akua: This message has been removed.
[5:12:35 PM] Osei Akua: am calling from Ghana and u
[5:12:49 PM] Me: Where is Ghana? I've never heard of it.
[5:13:04 PM] Osei Akua: in west africa
[5:13:11 PM] Osei Akua: and you are also from?
[5:13:22 PM] Me: I am in Uzbekistan
[5:13:29 PM] Me: Is Ghana near Japan?
[5:13:37 PM] Osei Akua: No
[5:13:43 PM] Osei Akua: very far from there
[5:13:51 PM] Osei Akua: so how old are u
[5:13:54 PM] Me: Sorry, I meant Gibraltar
[5:14:08 PM] Me: I 76 and 3/4
[5:14:17 PM] Me: And you?
[5:16:58 PM] Me: * DING *
[5:17:22 PM] Me: Hello????
[5:17:58 PM] Me: Did I upset you?

Looks like Osei's threshold is rather low as she de-friended me.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:22 pm

...and you didn't even let her show herself to you. (Shamey, Shamey) LOL.

All the girlz in Ghana seems to be studying to be nurses. They all seem to want to call you. Then complain that they can't see you when you pick up and they can't see you through webcam.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:55 pm

Warning for Fryer - put the drink down somewhere safe Princilla returned for round 2.

Disclaimers
I do not have Justin<strike>e</strike>'s Bieber's face tattoo'd on my butt.
I have no current plans to give Bieber an abortion with a knitting needle.

Quote:

[4:35:10 PM] Me: You still there?
[4:36:16 PM] princilla.adu: yes iwas here
[4:36:39 PM] Me: Great, congratulations.
[4:37:49 PM] princilla.adu: do like my pictures
[4:38:03 PM] Me: What pictures?
[4:39:41 PM] princilla.adu: the pictures that you want
[4:40:05 PM] Me: I havn't seen them, so how will I know if I like them?
[4:47:49 PM] Me: So don't you want to know why I congratulate you?
[4:51:11 PM] princilla.adu: dont worry iwill send you later becouase my friends are behind me
[4:53:42 PM] Me: * DING *
[4:57:10 PM] princilla.adu: idont understand ding
[4:57:42 PM] Me: It is Swahili for are you still there.
[5:01:20 PM] Me: * DONG *
[5:03:34 PM] princilla.adu: idont understand .dong or swahili
[5:03:53 PM] Me: DONG is the leader of East Korea.
[5:04:18 PM] Me: So, you interview well and I'm pleased to say you got the job.
[5:06:23 PM] princilla.adu: okk
[5:06:49 PM] Me: You are now officially, my muse, decision maker and personal assistant.
[5:10:25 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[5:11:36 PM] Me: There are a few conditions though.
1. You have to be available 24/7
2. You have to change your name to Doris.
3. You have to relocte to somewhere that is easier to spell as I can't get the hang of Ghambana - I think Kyrgyzstan would be OK.
[5:13:41 PM] princilla.adu: i dont understand the three one
[5:16:26 PM] Me: DUNG
[5:21:03 PM] *** Call from princilla.adu ***
[5:21:24 PM] princilla.adu: i dont understand the three one
[5:21:39 PM] Me: How many times do I have to tell you I have no microphone.
[5:23:33 PM] princilla.adu: i dont understand the three one
[5:24:52 PM] Me: DUNG
[5:26:25 PM] Me: I need your urgent advice.
[5:27:22 PM] Me: Which three one?
[5:29:44 PM] Me: DUNG
[5:31:40 PM] princilla.adu: i3. You have to relocte to somewhere that is easier to spell as I can't get the hang of Ghambana - I think Kyrgyzstan would be OK.
[5:32:15 PM | Edited 5:32:24 PM] Me: Yes, that is right - I hear that Kyrgyzstan is lovely at this time of year.
[5:34:04 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[5:34:38 PM] Me: OK, so the advice I need - are you ready?
[5:35:09 PM] princilla.adu: yes
[5:35:51 PM | Edited 5:36:03 PM] Me: OK. This evening, I have to go to a diplomatic function at the Iranian Embassy here in Albania, Canada. OK
[5:38:12 PM] Me: * DUNG *
[5:40:09 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[5:40:27 PM] Me: I am not sure what to wear - so I need your advice.
[5:41:01 PM] Me: So, the choices are the latex bodysuit and gimp mask or the arseless chaps and a cowboy hat.
[5:41:06 PM] Me: What do you think?
[5:44:27 PM] princilla.adu: ok
[5:55:12 PM] Me: I was expecting a decision, not an OK - that's what I'm employing you for, your keen decision making skills.
[5:58:53 PM] princilla.adu: what do you mean
[5:59:11 PM] Me: You are meant to be advising me on what to wear.
[6:05:06 PM] princilla.adu: the latex bodysuit and gimp mask
[6:05:59 PM] Me: Great choice - I'll be the star of the show.
[6:06:11 PM] Me: So, are you a Belieber?
[6:06:48 PM] princilla.adu: yeah
[6:06:59 PM] Me: What's your favourite track?
[6:08:19 PM] princilla.adu: Cools
[6:08:24 PM] princilla.adu: and you
[6:09:19 PM] Me: I like her version of Oh Bondage Up Yours - you heard it?
[6:09:50 PM] princilla.adu: yes
[6:10:15 PM] Me: I'm her biggest fan - I've got a tattoo of her face on my backside.
[6:14:23 PM] princilla.adu: I wish you could see me on webcam but I dont have access to it and wish you would help me with some amount of money to buy one here ?
[6:15:12 PM] Me: Don't worry, when we get to know each other better I'll send you a photo of it.
[6:15:48 PM] Me: Don't tell anyone, but I'm planning on abducting Justine and impregnating her, so we can have lots of little Biebers.
[6:16:40 PM] princilla.adu: I need some amount of money to buy the webcam here
[6:17:07 PM] Me: Don't worry, I'll pay you at the end of the month if the job goes well.
[6:17:36 PM] Me: I want you to make an entry in the diary.
[6:17:56 PM] Me: May 23 2015 - I have an appointment for an enema at 3:15.
[6:18:34 PM] princilla.adu: Ok.So tell me how can you see me? can't you try any amount of money because I am a hot girl
[6:18:58 PM] Me: If you're hot, open a window - you'll soon cool down.
[6:19:19 PM] princilla.adu: you accept the picture
[6:19:33 PM] Me: Which picture?
[6:19:54 PM] princilla.adu: My picture
[6:20:07 PM] Me: I haven't seen your picture.
[6:20:24 PM] princilla.adu: accept it
[6:20:35 PM] Me: You haven't sent it.
[6:20:58 PM] *** princilla.adu sent 5 (155).jpg ***
[6:21:18 PM] Me: You keep deleting it before I see it.
[6:22:42 PM] Me: Will you help me abduct Justine Bieber?
[6:23:08 PM] princilla.adu: How?
[6:23:37 PM] Me: I'm thinking that we entice her with a packet of polos - she loves the fruit ones.
[6:24:31 PM] princilla.adu: And how can we get it . Did you get the picture?
[6:24:49 PM] Me: Got your photo - you look like a young Denis Rusos.
[6:25:12 PM] Me: If you shave the beard and get your tits done you'll be quite a catch.
[6:25:28 PM] princilla.adu: I will make you feel if you send me the moeny to buy the webcam
[6:25:40 PM] Me: If you hadn't of told me earlier, I really would not have known you were a ladyboy.
[6:26:16 PM] Me: OK, back to the Canadian pop princess Justine Bieber.
[6:26:29 PM] princilla.adu: Try and send me 100 euro for the webcam
[6:26:51 PM] Me: I'm thinking that we entice her with the polos as I said before.
[6:27:03 PM] Me: Then you flash your willy at her to shock her.
[6:27:47 PM] princilla.adu: Yes i will do but i want yoiu to send me the money before
[6:28:20 PM] Me: OK, then when she is shocked, I'll hit her over the head with a frozen haddock and stuff her in the back of the van.
[6:28:31 PM] Me: What do you think?
[6:28:55 PM] princilla.adu: Yes
[6:29:08 PM] Me: OK - we're on.
[6:29:20 PM] Me: How quickly can you get to Melton Mowbray?
[6:29:31 PM] princilla.adu: you send the 100 euros before
[6:29:59 PM] Me: Sure - when you get here I'll pay you the 100 Canadian euros.
[6:30:34 PM] princilla.adu: I dont have the transport fees
[6:30:52 PM] Me: That's OK - I'll arrange a jet to fly you over.
[6:31:02 PM] Me: Malaysian Airlines OK with you?
[6:31:45 PM] princilla.adu: Yes but you need to pay some amount of money to be to do that here .That is thge easiers one
[6:32:28 PM] Me: Don't worry about money - Ghamhana isn't far from the Albanian State of Canada.
[6:33:37 PM] princilla.adu: Ok. but try and send the money tomorrow . Can i give you my details?
[6:34:23 PM] Me: Sure, but I have a question first.
[6:34:24 PM] princilla.adu: NAME:PRINCILLA ADU
COUNTRY:GHANA
CITY:KUMASI
ZIPCODE:00233
BANK:WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER
[6:35:09 PM] Me: Oh, sorry, I can't use Western Union - the Canadian Government has banned it as it is used to fund illegal cock fighting.
[6:35:45 PM] princilla.adu: So wwhich bank ?
[6:35:54 PM] Me: What have you got?
[6:36:22 PM] princilla.adu: so which bank are you going to send through?
[6:36:51 PM] Me: I bank with Sperm Bank - do they have a branch in Ghambana?
[6:37:29 PM] princilla.adu: no
[6:37:39 PM] princilla.adu: and what about money gram?
[6:37:59 PM] Me: No, that is run by the Alaskan Mafia and they steal the funds.
[6:38:17 PM] Me: How about I put it in the post to you?
[6:38:25 PM] Me: I can send it express.
[6:38:56 PM] princilla.adu: Ok that can be okay
[6:39:28 PM] Me: Ok great - what is the address?
[6:39:46 PM] princilla.adu: The bank address ?
[6:39:58 PM] Me: No, the address to post it to.
[6:40:39 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:40:39 PM] Me: Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:40:49 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:40:59 PM] Me: [6:40 PM] Me:

<<< Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:41:13 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:41:15 PM] Me: [6:40 PM] Me:

<<< Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:41:20 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:41:21 PM] Me: [6:40 PM] Me:

<<< Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:41:24 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:41:34 PM] Me: [6:40 PM] Me:

<<< Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:41:37 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:41:38 PM] Me: [6:40 PM] Me:

<<< Crap, did you hear the news????????????????????????
[6:41:46 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:41:57 PM] Me: You really arethick aren't you?
[6:42:24 PM] princilla.adu: has you written the post address?
[6:42:27 PM] Me: Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?
[6:42:51 PM] Me: Don't worry, I don't need to write it, I'll remember it - PO BOX 419 GHAMBANA
[6:43:06 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:43:18 PM] princilla.adu: Ghana,Suame kumasi
P.O BOX SE 778
[6:43:27 PM] Me: That is what I said - but I'll need the proper address, not a PO Box.
[6:44:39 PM] princilla.adu: What proper address Ghana,Suame
P.O BOX SE 778 it is a proper address
[6:44:52 PM] Me: So you live in a PO Box?
[6:45:28 PM] princilla.adu: yes
[6:45:40 PM] Me: Must be a bit cramped
[6:45:57 PM] Me: Anyway, the jobs off because of the news I've just heard.
[6:46:45 PM] princilla.adu: why
[6:47:22 PM] Me: Justine Bieber is pregnant with Prince Harry of Englandshire's baby - the two-timing pop whore.
[6:48:09 PM] Me: Any ideas how to get a large tattoo removed from a sensitive area?
[6:49:09 PM] Me: What name should I make the check payable to?
[6:53:15 PM] Me: * DING *
[6:56:24 PM] princilla.adu: dear as you know i don't no anything about check payable ... you have to try and do either western union money transfer or moneygramm
[6:57:04 PM] Me: I told, you Western Union is banned in the Albanian State of Canada and Moneygram is not safe.
[6:57:16 PM] Me: I'll make the check payable to Doris as tha tis yournew name.
[6:58:13 PM] Me: Do you have any knitting needles?
[6:58:49 PM] princilla.adu: ok l understand you but how can l cahnge my name telll me
[6:59:56 PM] Me: Click on Skype and profile and then "Edit Profile" and then you can change it.
[7:01:05 PM] Doris: l have just change
[7:01:09 PM] Doris: it
[7:01:55 PM] Me: Great, that looks much better Doris.
[7:02:25 PM] Me: I'll put the check in the post to Ghambhana in the morning or when hell freezes over, which ever is later.
[7:06:51 PM] Me: * DONG *
[7:12:16 PM] Me: Are you still there or are you busy pleasuring your boyfriend?
[7:13:12 PM] Doris: dear i am not busy ... but i am thinking about how you can do to help me with the money
[7:13:50 PM] Me: The money's sorted - we need to discuss Bieber and her pregnancy. Do you have knitting needles?
[7:15:28 PM] Doris: i see
[7:15:36 PM] Me: What do you see?
[7:15:37 PM] Doris: so dear where are you now
[7:15:45 PM] Doris: home or work
[7:15:54 PM] Me: I'm outside Bieber's love nest.
[7:16:08 PM] Doris: what are you doing there
[7:17:10 PM] Me: Looking for a way in.
[7:17:38 PM] Me: I think it might be possible to slip up the back passage - I've heard others gained entry that way.
[7:17:39 PM] Doris: -how???
[7:17:58 PM] Me: ^^ Up the back passage.
[7:20:16 PM] Me: Haven't you got your boyfriend off yet?
[7:20:59 PM | Edited 7:21:01 PM] Doris: please i am so sorry i don't have any boyfriend
[7:21:21 PM] Me: Sorry, I forgot - haven't you got your girlfriend off yet?
[7:21:48 PM] Doris: please i am alone now
[7:22:11 PM] Me: Ah, OK you should have said - just you and the rampent rabbit
[7:23:28 PM] Me: Don't push it in too far, it might hit your tonsils.
[7:24:07 PM] Doris: ok
[7:24:30 PM] Me: Right, the new plan.
[7:24:51 PM] Me: You hold the bitch down and I'll scoop the foetus out with your knitting needle, OK.
[7:26:42 PM] Me: Put the sex toy down and concentrate on the plan.
[7:27:58 PM] Doris: dear i hope i will get the money for the webcam by tomorrow
[7:28:17 PM] Me: The money's in the bag. Don't worry about that.
[7:28:21 PM] Me: Are you in?
[7:28:45 PM] Doris: ok
[7:29:47 PM] Me: Right we need to go in cognitio, so no one knows it is us. You change your name to Rose West and I'll change mine to Engelbert Humperdinck.
[7:30:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You there Rose?
[7:34:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Rose, put the damn dildo down and get with the program.
[7:36:00 PM] Doris: can t you give me the moner
[7:36:34 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Rose, you need to change your name - if Bieber's people get wind of this we have to abort (and not the baby).
[7:37:54 PM] Doris: ican found you again
[7:38:14 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry, who are you - I don't know anyone called Doris.
[7:38:20 PM] Doris: good buy
[7:38:26 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: What are you buying?
[7:40:07 PM] Doris: i will change my name tomorow
[7:40:27 PM] Doris: webcam
[7:40:54 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK, make sure you do - we need to get this plan in action so that I can impregnate Justine Bieber with my baby instead of that ginger runt.
[7:41:40 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I've lost the address for the check - send it again or if you give me your email I will send it by PayPal.
[7:44:31 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Rose, I need that address so I can catch the post.
[7:45:28 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Night Rose, I have to go now, the doctors are coming round with the medication.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:22 pm

OMG, what a thick lad. Hahahahaha!!!! Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:27 pm

Very funny ! I am amazed Doris can take time away from his / her medical practice.

*DONG*

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:38 pm

Holy crap that's some funny stuff there! Laughing

I could hardly read it through all the tears of laughter.

Quote:

[6:30:52 PM] Me: That's OK - I'll arrange a jet to fly you over.
[6:31:02 PM] Me: Malaysian Airlines OK with you?

Right there. I totally lost it. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 8:04 pm

Glad this one was prefaced with the warning...still LMAO...

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:10 pm

So, what's the scam angle with these lads who just randomly contact people on Skype? Do they just keep chatting and finally ask for money for something stupid (like a webcam)?

Super funny, by the way! clapping

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 5:52 pm

More mini-Skype madness.

Quote:

[5:55:28 PM] constance.owusu57: Hi Engelbert Humperdinck, I'd like to add you as a contact. Georgina
[5:55:58 PM] constance.owusu57: Hi Engelbert Humperdinck, I'd like to add you as a contact. Georgina
[6:12:21 PM] *** Engelbert Humperdinck has shared contact details with Georgina. ***
[6:23:41 PM] Georgina: Hi
[6:23:43 PM] Georgina: How are you ?
[6:24:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Well and you?
[6:25:02 PM] Georgina: The same, you are welcome and also am so glad to meet you here . Honetly amcalled Georgina and you ?
[6:25:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I am Englebert, but you can call me The Stud
[6:26:22 PM] Georgina: Ok am 28 years of age single never been married with kids and you ?
[6:26:44 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm 47 and widowed - hope the age isn't a problem.
[6:28:18 PM] Georgina: Yeah
[6:28:24 PM] Georgina: have you married ?
[6:28:49 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, I never marries, I went straight from single to widowed - avoided the marriage stress.
[6:29:10 PM] Georgina: Ok i see , why is your status offline ?
[6:29:32 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I am trying to avoid someone seeing me due to legal issues.
[6:30:35 PM] Georgina: Ok if it will hurt you can you please change your status online so that we can see each other live on webcam and get to know something much about each other ?
[6:30:39 PM] Georgina: Sorry
[6:31:21 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I don't have a webcam and I can not risk them knowing I am online - they will track me to my hideout.
[6:31:50 PM] Georgina: what about a picture and also how can i belive you are a Man ?
[6:32:28 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I have some pictures, but why would I lie about being a man? I'm not a lesbo you know.
[6:32:34 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Wait and I send you some proof
[6:33:11 PM] Georgina: Ok am waiting
[6:33:50 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Hang on, it is on my other hard drive I am just connecting it.
[6:34:16 PM] *** Engelbert Humperdinck sent Bert.jpg Bert.jpg ***
[6:34:20 PM] Georgina: Ok
[6:34:21 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK, you got it
[6:34:37 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, if you're in Canda, you must know Justine?
[6:34:55 PM] Georgina: Am not sure it is you sorry
[6:35:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Well, why would I send you someone elses photo?
[6:35:24 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: How do I know your picture is really you?
[6:35:57 PM] Georgina: that is why i want us to make video call
[6:36:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Well I can't make a video call without a webcam can I? Could you send me 100€ for a webcam and then we can chat on cam?
[6:38:17 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: * DING *
[6:38:34 PM] Georgina: MMMMmmmm really
[6:38:37 PM] Georgina: how can i send it ?
[6:39:03 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You can send it to me by Western Union or Moneygram, to my official address.
[6:39:43 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Why have you got some other chick as your picture now?
[6:39:50 PM] Georgina: Ok when do you need it?
[6:40:08 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: ASAP, so we can chat - you look HOT HOT HOT
[6:40:25 PM] Georgina: gyae r0f no
[6:40:49 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry, are you having an anurism or something?
[6:41:09 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Are you ready for my address details?
[6:41:49 PM] Georgina: Yes
[6:41:52 PM] Georgina: give me
[6:42:30 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK,
Engelbert Humberdink
Wigan Pier
Londonshire
Republic of the UK
[6:43:45 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, as I asked before, do you know Bieber?
[6:44:05 PM] Georgina: Yes he is my friend even i always send him money for food
[6:44:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: What do you mean he?
[6:47:26 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: * DONG "

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 6:31 pm

Μηδεις αγεωγραφος εισιτω.

Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 1:05 pm

^^^Someone's knackered your keyboard Laughing

This afternoon's madness

Quote:

[1:17:25 PM] *** Florence Antwi has shared contact details with Engelbert Humperdinck. ***
[1:17:36 PM] antwi.100: Hello! Please add me to your Contact list.
[1:18:11 PM] *** Engelbert Humperdinck has shared contact details with Florence Antwi. ***
[1:19:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Yo Flo
[1:20:30 PM] Florence Antwi: Hello
[1:20:45 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: How is Canada?
[1:23:08 PM] Florence Antwi: everything is cool and what about there?
[1:23:27 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: It is heavy snow here
[1:24:15 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see...Any way i would be very happy if you we can chat on yahoo messenger as sometimes problem with skype..?
[1:24:36 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I don't have a yahoo mesenger
[1:24:49 PM] Florence Antwi: Ok....
[1:25:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, do you know Bieber then?
[1:25:26 PM] Florence Antwi: My name is FLORENCE ANTWI and what about you?
[1:25:34 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh yes i have been there before?
[1:26:05 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: My name is Engelbert Humperdinck, but you can call me Sir Bert
[1:26:11 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: WHere have you been before?
[1:26:52 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh nice name ...Any way are you married with kids ?
[1:27:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I am widowed with 5 kids
[1:27:31 PM] Florence Antwi: I see...And if may ask what are you looking on skype here?
[1:27:48 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Fun
[1:27:59 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: And you look like fun Wink

[1:28:21 PM] Florence Antwi: Why fun then your here.?
[1:29:13 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry, but much as I tried I can't rearrange those words into a meaningful sentence
[1:30:19 PM] Florence Antwi: Ok...As for me am here looking for my best friend and see what will happen next Ok..sorry as am not here for Fun ok..
[1:30:27 PM] Florence Antwi: So tell me what do you do for a living now?
[1:31:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: My living is classified due to national security.
[1:31:17 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Tell me about your trip to see Bieber
[1:32:33 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh ok...
[1:33:07 PM] Florence Antwi: Am a student schooling in west africa ghana now ..Ok
[1:33:49 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Ghana, never heard of it. Is it one of those countries that used to be part of Russia?
[1:38:10 PM] Florence Antwi: Hello
[1:39:33 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Hi
[1:39:50 PM] Florence Antwi: Sorry am back
[1:40:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Nice
[1:40:14 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I expect you had to go for a shit or something
[1:41:38 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh why?
[1:42:16 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, what do you think about the situation in Wales then?
[1:43:12 PM] Florence Antwi: what situation your talking about?
[1:43:39 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Haven't you heard the news? The Russians are massing troups on the Welsh border and are going to invade.
[1:45:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: * DING "
[1:47:25 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see..
[1:47:41 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, what is it like over there in Namibia?
[1:47:57 PM] Florence Antwi: As for that Russian am afariad of them ok
[1:48:18 PM] Florence Antwi: what i can say is that there not getting peace
[1:48:23 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You should be - next stop they want to invade your country and get it back in the Federation.
[1:49:14 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh ok...
[1:49:40 PM] Florence Antwi: Any way let me know how old are you and how many years have you been ussing skype?
[1:50:13 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm 53 and I've been using Skype for a week. Still don't really understand it.
[1:51:21 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see....But i hope that you will understand it Ok..
[1:51:35 PM] Florence Antwi: So tell me what is the time there and the waerther?
[1:52:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: the time here is 18:51 and like I told you, it is snowing heavily
[1:53:36 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see...
[1:54:09 PM] Florence Antwi: Any way i will be very happy if you can instal yahoo messenger so that we can chat there as sometime problem with skype ok
[1:54:12 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, are you a Belieber then as you've seen her in concert?
[1:54:41 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I don't know what a yahoo messenger is
[1:56:08 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see...
[1:56:28 PM] Florence Antwi: So tell me have you had any woman from ghana here before?
[1:56:50 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, I cought Syphallis in Nigeria once, is that the same thing?
[1:57:38 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see...
[1:57:50 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So tell me about Bieber
[1:58:27 PM] Florence Antwi: I don't knwo anything about it ok
[1:58:46 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: But you told me you'd been to Bieber earlier
[1:59:18 PM] Florence Antwi: Am sorry i did not get you well that's why ok
[1:59:51 PM] Florence Antwi: so tell me are you sure that you wil be with me and share the rest of your life with me as i will do the same ?
[1:59:55 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So you've never heard of Canadian pop princess Justine Bieber then?
[2:00:46 PM] Florence Antwi: I have heard but not much ok
[2:01:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm her number one fan - I will be marrying her soon.
[2:01:22 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see
[2:01:47 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I just need to find somewhere where the bride can be unconcious during the wedding.
[2:02:29 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see..
[2:02:53 PM] Florence Antwi: Any way dear i want to see your pics so can you send me your pics ?
[2:03:17 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I can't I'm afraid for security reasons.
[2:03:50 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh my dear why are you doing that ..?
[2:04:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Doing what?
[2:04:10 PM] Florence Antwi: You know that now we are best friends so how can you afraid
[2:04:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'n not afraid, it is because of my job - don't tell anyone, but I work for MFI.
[2:04:46 PM] Florence Antwi: I will give you my email address so that you can use and send into my email address ok
[2:04:49 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh i see..
[2:05:26 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, can you help me kidnapp Canadian Pop Princess Justine Bieber for the wedding?
[2:06:33 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh yes but as you know that am now in ghana now schooling
[2:06:53 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: That is OK, we'll fly you to Canada where she lives.
[2:18:58 PM] *** Call from Florence Antwi, duration 00:13. ***
[2:19:20 PM] Florence Antwi: Hello am sorry i have problem with my connection ok
[2:19:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK - so I have a plan for kidnapping Bieber, OK
[2:20:26 PM] Florence Antwi: Ok darling..
[2:20:33 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: We hve to wear disguises
[2:20:38 PM] Florence Antwi: Any way can i see you on cam?
[2:20:44 PM] Florence Antwi: Yes
[2:20:44 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No
[2:20:48 PM] Florence Antwi: why?
[2:21:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I told you security for my job
[2:21:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You will be disguised as Sultry Songstress Semolina Gomez
[2:21:27 PM] Florence Antwi: this is not a deal as you can see ok is normal to open cam for me to see you ok
[2:21:45 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: And I will be disguised as 60 Music Megstar Cher
[2:21:59 PM] Florence Antwi: Really..
[2:22:07 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: We'll pretend we are there for a lesbian 3 some with Justine
[2:22:13 PM] Florence Antwi: Let me see you just a scond ok
[2:22:18 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: She has them all the time.
[2:22:36 PM] Florence Antwi: Oh please
[2:22:41 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Do you understand Semolina
[2:23:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Does a leswbian 3 some excite you?
[2:23:43 PM] Florence Antwi: Yeah
[2:23:58 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Me too. So what are you wearing right now?
[2:24:17 PM] Florence Antwi: let me see you on cam
[2:24:25 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: What are you wearing?
[2:30:39 PM] Florence Antwi: Nothing
[2:31:02 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Great, me too. I always surf naked - makes it easier for access.

Quote:

[3/29/2014 3:32:15 PM] Happy Christmas: Hello! Please add me to your Contact list.
[3/29/2014 3:32:27 PM] *** Engelbert Humperdinck has shared contact details with Happy Christmas. ***
[3/29/2014 3:33:12 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Are you related to Mary?
[3/29/2014 3:35:22 PM] *** Missed call from Happy Christmas. ***
[3/29/2014 5:24:14 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry babe, my microphone doesn't work.
[3/29/2014 5:24:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Are you related to Mary?
[2:30:03 PM] Happy Christmas: Hello
[2:30:26 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Hello Mary, how are you?
[2:31:01 PM] Happy Christmas: Im Fine and you my dear
[2:31:40 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm OK, the piles are playing up, so I am sitting on a cushion.
[2:32:17 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh i see my dear and my dear what are you doing and what are your pLans for A DAY
[2:33:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm going to go to the shop and get some cream for the piles and then spend some time applying it.
[2:40:18 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh i see and my dear when you are coming please my dear i want you to try all of your best and send some Little Amountt Of MONEY
[2:40:31 PM] Happy Christmas: To used it to buy food On Monday my dear
[2:40:36 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Money for what?
[2:41:43 PM] Happy Christmas: To used it to buy Food on Monday my dear
[2:41:48 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK, give me your address, I've got some leftovers here that I'll stick in the post.
[2:42:55 PM] Happy Christmas: Name:Mary Kyei
Country:Ghana
City:Kumasi
Zip Code:+233
Bank: Western Union Money Transfer
[2:43:24 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK, I've got toad in the hole and spotted dick left over, so I'll package it up and send it to you.
[2:43:38 PM] Happy Christmas: My dear here is my address and my dear i want to give you my new phone Number so taht when you send me the m,oney you should send me the Information on It
[2:43:55 PM] *** Missed call from Happy Christmas. ***
[2:44:05 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK, give me your email address as well.
[2:44:55 PM | Edited 2:44:57 PM] Happy Christmas: [email protected]
[2:45:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Do you like toad in the hole?
[2:45:11 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh yes
[2:45:28 PM] Happy Christmas: You too my dear
[2:45:29 PM] Happy Christmas: ?
[2:45:54 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I prefer the spotted dick, but I've got a cream for that as well.
[2:46:15 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh yes my dear
[2:46:38 PM] Happy Christmas: So my dear what time will you go and send me the money or you should send it Online ?
[2:46:44 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: What money?
[2:47:40 PM] Happy Christmas: My dear as i have told you that try and send me some little amount of Money to used it to Buy food on Monday
[2:47:41 PM] Happy Christmas: ?
[2:47:44 PM] Happy Christmas: (heart)
[2:48:15 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I think you misunderstood, I'm not sending you money. I'll post you the left over food that I have here - Toad in the Hole and Spotted Dick.
[2:48:55 PM | Edited 2:49:27 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh my dear i know that but my dear try and help me
[2:49:50 PM] Happy Christmas: So my deari want to know that you will. try and help me or
[2:50:15 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas ***
[2:50:20 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I have helped you dear - I'm sending you food.
[2:50:34 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas ***
[2:50:57 PM] Happy Christmas: Oh please my dear
[2:51:00 PM] *** Call ended, duration 00:25 ***
[2:51:08 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas ***
[2:51:27 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: The food will be in the post tomorrow.
[2:51:29 PM] *** Call ended, duration 00:21 ***
[2:51:36 PM] Happy Christmas: okay
[2:52:06 PM] Happy Christmas: at what time my dear
[2:52:43 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas, duration 00:39. ***
[2:53:35 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas ***
[2:53:45 PM] Happy Christmas: hi
[2:53:54 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: If you are going to call at least answer me when I talk.
[2:53:57 PM] *** Call ended, duration 00:21 ***
[2:54:11 PM] Happy Christmas: ok
[2:54:18 PM] *** Call from Happy Christmas, duration 00:19. ***
[2:54:52 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You did it again - are you too dumb to be able to speak?
[2:55:14 PM] Happy Christmas: oh no i have talk to u too much
[2:55:35 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: You haven't said a thing each time you call.
[2:55:41 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Do you want a job?
[2:56:02 PM] Happy Christmas: tweaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[2:56:22 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry, has your cat just walked on your keyboard or something?

Quote:

[2:08:21 PM] candygood: Hello! Please add me to your Contact list.
[2:08:31 PM] *** Engelbert Humperdinck has shared contact details with candygood. ***
[2:11:11 PM] candygood: hello how are you doing
[2:11:20 PM] *** Call from candygood ***
[2:11:37 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Sorry, my microphone isnt working
[2:11:49 PM] candygood: ok i am georgina oduro and you
[2:12:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Bill Gates III
[2:12:26 PM] candygood: really..that is great where are you from and do you do for a living?
[2:13:39 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'm from Khazakstahn and I am a refuse operative.
[2:27:36 PM] candygood: hello sorry for going without for your permission my friend came for her laptop so i am now in the cafe
[2:28:01 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: That's ok dear, I am in the lavatory
[2:28:20 PM] candygood: ok what is your age
[2:28:27 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: 12
[2:28:52 PM] candygood: ok do you live alone
[2:29:27 PM | Edited 2:29:46 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, I live with Mummy and Daddy and my sister Jolene, but she is a dirty whore who has old men in her bedroon when mummy and daddy are out.
[2:29:46 PM] candygood: really haha
[2:30:00 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: It's not funny, my mummy is very upset.
[2:30:12 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: She says a 14 year old shouldn't have men in her room.
[2:30:27 PM] candygood: ok is your mum in the house
[2:30:40 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, she is at the pub
[2:30:59 PM] candygood: ok can i have your telephone number
[2:31:19 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, mummy says not to give my number to strangers
[2:32:21 PM] candygood: i am not a stranger ok we just met and we can be friends from now so i want to have your number so that i can talk to you offline
[2:32:27 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I've got pictures of Jolene with a man do you want to see them?
[2:32:42 PM] candygood: ok send them
[2:33:24 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I will, but daddy has just said that I am not allowed to.
[2:33:45 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: He says you sound like a kiddy fiddler wanting to look at pictures of 14 year old girls.
[2:34:19 PM] candygood: oh i am 13 years and i am a footballer and looking some one to manage in football
[2:34:49 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Ok, I can't send you the pictures then, you are too young.
[2:35:10 PM] candygood: ok is daddy in
[2:35:29 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Yes, but he's drunk, so he doesn't know what I am doing.
[2:35:40 PM] candygood: does he use skype
[2:35:59 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: No, he's an idiot and doesn't know how to use a computer.
[2:36:23 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Mommy uses is it with Uncle Pete when daddy is away on business.
[2:36:34 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: She shows him her lady bits
[2:36:38 PM] candygood: i want you to help me..
[2:36:51 PM] *** Call from candygood ***
[2:36:55 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: How can I help?
[2:37:18 PM] candygood: i want you to search for a soccer academy there for me
[2:37:31 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: What is soccer?
[2:37:40 PM] candygood: football
[2:38:05 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Oh, you mean like gay men kicking a ball around?
[2:38:20 PM] candygood: yes football
[2:38:29 PM] candygood: so will u help me
[2:38:41 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: How do I do that?
[2:39:45 PM] candygood: that is why i said give me your number so that i can tell you everything there pls give me your number or your mum or dads number so that i can him or her everything
[2:40:16 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'll have to ask Jolene what she thinks. Hang on.
[2:40:26 PM] candygood: ok
[2:44:56 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Jolene says it will be OK.
[2:45:09 PM] candygood: so can i have the number
[2:45:31 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: Oh, I don't know it, I'll have to ask Jolene.
[2:45:40 PM] candygood: ok
[2:45:54 PM] candygood: do you have email account
[2:46:10 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: yes I do.
[2:46:15 PM] candygood: can i have it
[2:46:30 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: I'll have to ask Jolene if I am allowed to give it out.
[2:46:48 PM] candygood: ok ask her for me now
[2:47:15 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: OK. I'll be back, I have to wait for her to finsh what she is doing with Uncle Mike

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Oct 2010 Posts: 70

lol, the last chat. Gold.

Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 3:34 pm

Holy crap, I need to learn how to use this Skype thing. It sounds like there are a gazillion scammers contacting anyone online.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 10:00 am

srichards wrote:

So, what's the scam angle with these lads who just randomly contact people on Skype? Do they just keep chatting and finally ask for money for something stupid (like a webcam)?

Yep. Because, you know, a webcam costs 100 Euros these days...

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

I am loving this thread. You have this one changing their name faster than he changes his underbritches.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:28 am

These are some of the funniest chatlogs I've ever read.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:38 am

Incredible Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 1:45 pm

Man, I truly can not read large blocks of these: the lad stupidity is sooooooooo high--he is either so willing to ignore astounding crazyness in the hops of scamming your hapless loon or else he is simply THAT stupid. Either way he simultanously amuses, astonishes, and revolts me to the point of overload.

On other fronts:
Latest News:

President Obama had a 90 minute skype with Putin. The Russians are pulling out of Whales!

I'm sooo up on geo-politics.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:48 pm

^Сохрани китов!

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

Lehigh Guy wrote:

The Russianls are pulling out of Whales!

So are the Japanese?

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 10:59 pm

Quote:

[6:43:45 PM] Engelbert Humperdinck: So, as I asked before, do you know Bieber?
[6:44:05 PM] Georgina: Yes he is my friend even i always send him money for food

All kinds of awesomeness right there. Fortunately I always put my beverage out of reach whenever I catch up on this amazing thread. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:34 am

Quote:

Engelbert Humperdinck: What is soccer?
candygood: football
Engelbert Humperdinck: Oh, you mean like gay men kicking a ball around?
candygood: yes football

That one got me laughing, very funny...

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:50 pm

I think I'm being used to train them Laughing

Quote:

[4:30:37 PM] Max Fernando: Hi Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI, I'd like to add you as a contact.
[4:30:49 PM] *** Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI has shared contact details with Max Fernando. ***
[8:03:34 PM] Max Fernando: hey
[8:09:12 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Sorry, I was busy getting a full body wax from my man servant Lorenzo.
[8:10:11 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:10:21 PM] Max Fernando: call me
[8:10:34 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Call you what?
[8:10:56 PM] *** Call from Max Fernando ***
[8:11:11 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Sorry, I can't answer - I'm in a library, no talking allowed.
[8:11:29 PM] Max Fernando: im looking good job
[8:11:42 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Hand job or blow job?
[8:12:18 PM] Max Fernando: hote job
[8:12:49 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, I charge extra for the wierd stuff, but if yu come down the alley I'll do you for $250
[8:13:22 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:13:47 PM] Max Fernando: im srilanka
[8:14:10 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Oh, it's a bit of a journey, but if you can be here in half an hour I can fit you in.
[8:15:01 PM] Max Fernando: please help me
[8:15:38 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, but I'll need to interview you to see if you are suitable.
[8:15:52 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Are you ready?
[8:16:20 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:16:26 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Full name?
[8:16:59 PM] Max Fernando: nirmala chrishantha feranada
[8:17:07 PM] Max Fernando: call me
[8:17:12 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Age?
[8:17:17 PM] Max Fernando: 22
[8:17:20 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Sex?
[8:17:45 PM] Max Fernando: 8
[8:18:15 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: I was expecting a yes to no answer to that question.
[8:18:51 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:18:59 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Height?
[8:19:16 PM] Max Fernando: wat
[8:19:22 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Height?
[8:19:30 PM] Max Fernando: no
[8:19:38 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Ok, breast size?
[8:20:03 PM] Max Fernando: no
[8:20:18 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: IQ?
[8:20:33 PM] Max Fernando: i dot no
[8:20:43 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: I kind of guessed that.
[8:20:50 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: What is the square root of 25?
[8:21:47 PM] Max Fernando: no
[8:21:56 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Can you drive?
[8:22:04 PM] Max Fernando: yes
[8:24:18 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Can you fly a plane?
[8:24:43 PM] Max Fernando: no
[8:24:55 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, have you ever fired a gun?
[8:25:24 PM] Max Fernando: yes
[8:25:37 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: How many ways can you kill someone?
[8:26:23 PM] Max Fernando: 1
[8:27:14 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, I was looking for someone with more experience for the role, but we can train you up.

Are you a Belieber?
[8:27:26 PM] Max Fernando: yes
[8:27:44 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Shes the best isn't she?
[8:27:56 PM] Max Fernando: yes
[8:28:30 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Would you be prepared to have Justine's arse tattoo'd on your face?
[8:29:36 PM] Max Fernando: fuck
[8:30:03 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: You want to fuck Justine Bieber?
[8:30:18 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:30:37 PM] Max Fernando: (happy)
[8:30:54 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, last question. You are in a room with Justine Bieber and Harry Styles and have one bullet left - who do you shoot?
[8:31:18 PM] Max Fernando: happy birthdy son
[8:31:32 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: I'm sorry?
[8:31:49 PM] Max Fernando: is okey
[8:32:02 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: [8:30 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI:

<<< You are in a room with Justine Bieber and Harry Styles and have one bullet left - who do you shoot?
[8:32:30 PM] Max Fernando: yes
[8:32:49 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, I'm pleased to tell you that you got the job. When can you start?
[8:33:30 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:34:01 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Well? When can you get here to start work?
[8:34:19 PM] Max Fernando: ok
[8:34:36 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: I'll take that as Next Friday, OK?
[8:35:00 PM] Max Fernando: thanks bro
[8:35:36 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: OK, we need a photo for your security pass - do you have one?
[8:39:04 PM] *** Max Fernando sent IMG_0075.JPG ***
[8:39:14 PM] Max Fernando: okey
[8:40:01 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Hang on, I am just verifying it.
[8:40:40 PM] Max Fernando: ok
[8:41:53 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Fine, your first job will be as a fluffer on our new movie Farmyard Friends - have you worked with animals before?
[8:43:31 PM] Max Fernando: hehe are musling
[8:43:46 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: sorry, what are musling?
[8:43:59 PM] Max Fernando: muslin
[8:44:20 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: That's OK, we won't be eating or killing them.
[8:45:11 PM] Max Fernando: i fuck you mum is okey
[8:45:56 PM] Sir Reginald Jobsworth CBE, MFI: Pardon? Do you have tourettes or something?