"I SWEAR WITH MY BALLS"

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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:37 pm

Mike Kofi is no longer happy with Captain Mal.

After long delays, the latest one involving Mal requiring surgery and having issues with his health insurer, I noticed that other AFF mails were arriving in the same email chain, including some from a John Jones. I called him out on that and the result was gratifying (emphasis added).

Quote:

YOU ARE JUST A VERY STUPID idoit OF A MAN FOR CALLING JONES YOU ARE JUST A BROKE ASS WHO CANNOT DO BUSINESS BUT SEE THING WRONGLY THAT WHY YOU ARE A WRONG HUMAN BEING I MAKE A MISTAKE FOT TAKING YOU TO ASSIST ME I SWEAR WITH MY BALLS I DONT KNOW THE HELL WHO IS JONES AND SHIT OK IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME IN PEACE FINE BUT IF YOU WANT TO INSULT ME FUCK YOUR ASSHOLE OK

Quote:

IF I MEET YOU FACE TO FACE I WILL PUNCH YOUR FACE I SWEAR YOU GET ME MORE ANGRY TODAY AFTER WASTING MY TIME FUCK YOU MALCOLM OK

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:59 pm

I love a great rant....I swear by my balls I do! More great work Captain Mal!

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 9:08 pm

I also got a giggle out of the phrase "YOU WANT TO INSULT ME F*CK YOUR A**HOLE OK"

Suddenly my mind was filled of thoughts of homophobic lads and latent gay tendencies .... Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Epic lad rant! Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 10:14 pm

That's some great stuff, there.

I have a feeling that you are going to make him even angrier Laughing

I wish I had a lad like that Sad

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21155

Let the nut cutting begin!

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:21 pm

Quote:

IF I MEET YOU FACE TO FACE I WILL PUNCH YOUR FACE I SWEAR

Top Notch! Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:35 pm

Hahaha!! Beautiful, just beautiful.
If he swears with his balls, what about... Razz

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:23 am

OUCH! My Balls!!!

Great Rant Yas!!!

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:42 am

Great rant! That just gives me warm fuzzy fluffy feelings all over, like a bunny.

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:19 am

Just thought I'd see if he was good for another rant with this:

Quote:

Oh, and I forgot to say, I had no idea that gay rape was something you enjoyed. You really are a complete turd.

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:09 am

Great rant! Pure poetry.

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:27 pm

I heard this last year in Rome.

Quote:

Testify-To give one's information "as truthfully as possible." Taken from an old Roman phrase "to swear on one's testicles."

It could be what they did in the past but the root meaning is to witness.

Elite Baiter Joined: 10 Mar 2013 Posts: 1482

I can quess what the punishment was for false testimony.

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 7:50 pm

I didn't expect this!

Quote:

YES I AM GAY AND I WILL RAPE YOUR ASSHOE HA HA HA HA HA FOOLISH MAN

Maybe Shortarse has a rival for top African homosexualist!

I gave him a reply inspired by Taken.

Quote:

I have combat skills learned developed over two decades of service as a US Marine that would make it dead easy for me to break all your limbs and then force-feed you your own balls on a skewer.

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:09 am

He wrote back!

Quote:

GOOD MORNING
I WANT TO KNOW WHERE I STAND IF YOU WILL STILL ASSIST ME HERE STOP THE FIGHTING OK AND I AM NOT WHAT YOU SAY STOP IT OTHERWISE IT WILL DISTRUST US BOTH

Mal's reply was curt:

Quote:

I don't do business with faggot sex criminals.

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 4:40 pm

Ouch! Seems like Mal won't be working with me.

This reminds me of a person I was talking to this morning while in a line at a car rental counter. He was behind me and the line was not moving. I asked what he did and he told me he nothing now. I asked what he did in the past and he said he was a lawyer before his sex crime conviction. He seemed like such a nice guy you would not even have thought he was a lawyer.

Jk, lawyers are nice people.

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:50 pm

The Lad is still trying to retrieve things:

Quote:

I AM NOT A SEX CRIMINAL BECAUSE I HAVE NOT STOLE ANY OF YOUR SEXY WOMAN OK SO I AM A GOOD MAN.
I AM MARRIED WITH KIDS OK I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR SEX SO THEREFORE I AM NOT A CRIMINAL I WANT US TO DO BUSINESS WITH CLEAN HEART ALL THE WAY

Mal is dismissive:

Quote:

You stated that you are a homosexual and want to assault me and subject me to anal rape. Faggo sex criminal sums that up,

The Lad must be regretting that exchange.

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:10 pm

Whats that rolling across the floor,Oh ok it's just a couple of Malteasers.

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 11:18 am

Any scamming has been forgotten as the insults fly back and forth (Lad in italics).

Quote:

Hhahahah you are making me to laugh i tell you my wife ask me and i showed your mail to her she also was laughing say who wrote this mail to me i said is you.

Quote:

You wrote an email in which you stated the fact that you are gay and that you would rape me anally. Look down at February 27 and you'll see your email. Don't deny it.

Quote:

HAHAHAHA FAMILY MAN LIKE ME WITH A BEAUTFUL WOMAN AS MY WIFE MEN, FUCK GAYS OK I AM NOT GAY I ONLY SAID AND MEAN IN THAT EMAIL AFTER YOU CALLED ME A GAY THEN I SAID WHAT YOU ARE REFERING NOW REALLY FUNNY

Quote:

Being a so-called Family Man is the best way to hide being Gay. It's always the poor wife who's the last to find out that her husband is a pillow-biter or an assbandit. I hope she's not too shocked when you come bursting out of the gorram closet.

Quote:

Hhahaha are a mad man hahahahahahahah you make laugh and my wife also hahahahahah funny guy nobody is gay ok serious

Quote:

If nobody's gay, why is it illegal to be gay in your country and so many others?

Next up - RELIGION!

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 12:33 am

I still want to know how he "swears with his balls". You might ask that in your next insult. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 9:47 am

Religion, oh yeah... Seems I touched a nerve.

Quote:

IT IS AGAINST THE WILL OF GOD THE CREATOR OK SO I WILL KILL IF I FIND THAT

Quote:

There is no God as you call it outside myths and legends, and if there is a Creator of All Things, our sex lives wouldn't matter a damn to It. And those most eager to kill and maim gays are those in denial of their own gay nature - see what I mean, Bubba-Louie?

He didn't quite get my slang (emphasis added).

Quote:

I DISAGREE WITH YOU MALCOLM THERE IS GOD AND HOW DID YOU TO BRING YOURSELF ON THIS EARTH WHAT DO YOU MEAN
LISTEN YOU MUST KNOW THAT THERE IS A CREATOR THAT IS WHY WE HAVE DIFFERENT RELIGION SO TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT ALL I KNOW IS THAT WHO IS BUBBA-LOUIE HE IS A MAD MAN GOD WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO A THING LIKE THAT SO THERE IS A GOD .
WHAT ARE YOU WHAT IS YOUR RELIGION

Quote:

All you know how to do is to parrot the lies of priests and so-called holy men. You don't think for yourself.

Quote:

WHAT IS YOUR BELIEVE ? I THINK TOO MUCH OF BOOK IS BRAIN WASHING YOU MALCOLM YOU THINK TWICE THERE IS A CREATOR WHO IS GOD.TAKE OR YOU LIKE IT

Quote:

I said I'm an atheist and you ask what my religion is. You really are a dumbass.

Next up; Lad remembers that he's a scammer...

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:09 pm

That was the most amazing series of rants from an untwigged lad! I'm in awe.

Shocked

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:33 pm

The Lad suddenly remembers that he contacted me for a reason...

Just be warned that it gets nasty down the track.

Quote:

SO WHAT IS HAPPENING I WANT TO KNOW WHEN WE CAN START THIS TRANSACTION THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT THIS FUNDS MUST BE MOVED OUT.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT IT IS TAKEN TIME I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE TILL INTERESTED IN HANDLING THE TRANSACTION IF YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE LET ME KNOW

Quote:

I don't believe that anyone would do business with a retarded, homicidal, superstitious, paranoid, self-hating faggot in deep denial, and you are ticking all the gorram boxes.

Not sure where the grammer bit fits...

Quote:

KEEP YOUR GRAMMAR INSIDE YOUR POCKET OK IF YOU WILL NOT ASSIST ME SAY IT SO I WILL SEEK HELP SOMEWHERE MAYBE YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OK AND STOP USING UNNECESSARY THING AS EXCUSES

This next bit is where things began to go downhill!

Quote:

Fuckface, do the world a favour and shoot yourself - not in the head, you'll miss your brains every time.
Just shove the gun up your ass and pull the trigger.
You'll hit your brains dead-on AND die smiling.

Quote:

YOU ARE A DEAD MAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED IN YOUR SURGERY FUCKING FAGOT HEAD MAYBE YOU ARE CRIPPLED

Quote:

You've been brain dead for a long time - must have been all those times you got butt-fucked as a teenager.

That brings out the ultimate insult in the Lad Lexicon:

Quote:

YOU ARE A POOR MAN

Pathetic!

Quote:

You were begging me for small change not so long ago, so if I'm poor, you must be grubbing in the gutters for undigested bits of vomit.

Like I said - things got nasty.

Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:09 pm

Your insults to the lads and their replies are simply inspired. You are indeed the master if insults.