P@stor Chris M@tthews loses his cool

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Well, after about 65 days of almost daily emails with my good friend Pastor Chris M@tthews in Ghana, he finally lost his cool...

"WHAT MANNER OF MAN ARE YOU MR D@NIEL P.H@MILTON.?????????
You're nothing but a sentimental fool that have absolutely nothing to offer as far as human being is concerned.You better be careful otherwise i will go into fasting and prayer that will surely consume you.Those who choose to crack coconut with their bar-hair must partake in the eating!! You're warn once again be very careful with me? You know quiet well that you NEVER sent any $$$ and you there claiming so? TAKE YOUR TIME PLEASE!!
Good day today to you."

This is after his 3rd failed attempt at collecting money at Money Gram. The last straw was when I sent a fake receipt, one number off from the last one I sent him Twisted Evil

Not sure if I can salvage anything at this point, but I'm going to try... since he knows the receipt was bogus, any ideas on how to try and continue the bait?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:43 am

Nice rant! Insist it's the one the clerk sent you. Maybe try Westie or better yet, does he have a bank account?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:16 am

Ranting lad wrote:

You better be careful otherwise i will go into fasting and prayer that will surely consume you.

Cool. Can we have a real time video stream of him doing this for as long as it takes for either

a) You to perish from his spiritual power.
b) Him to perish from hunger.

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:24 am

Mr. Labowski wrote:

Those who choose to crack coconut with their bar-hair must partake in the eating

Sounds painful.
A sig line there if there ever was one...

Posted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:41 am

^^Absolutely Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Fantastic rant! As Capone suggested, go for a pig.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2205

Well it seems that the good Pastor has had enough of me, but amazingly Mrs. Pauline Boateng (she's in exile in Paraguay, and Pastor Matthews and I have been desperately trying to help her) is not quite done. I had assumed this bait had run it's course, so I sent this doozy, venting my frustration about the Pastor to Mrs. Pauline...(thanks to the Complaint Mail Generator)

Quote:

Pauline, I feel I must explain in better detail exactly what has been happening here.

In this letter, I will try to describe Mr. Chris Matthews's monographs in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that Mr. Matthews's positions have grown into the world's greatest enslavers of human minds. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Mr. Matthews is causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way.

If we fail to stand together and extricate as many people as possible from Mr. Matthews's grip then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teaches us that Mr. Matthews's intent is to prevent us from asking questions. He doesn't want the details checked. He doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts he presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of his "facts" are false. If you delve deeply into Mr. Matthews's announcements and thus, in tranquil clarity, submit to contemplation the methods of interpretation of the most repulsive kleptocrats I've ever seen, you will indeed discover why Mr. Matthews's hysteria-producing fulminations are sufficient to give pause to the less thoughtful among us. "Uh-oh," such people think. "We'd better help Mr. Matthews effectuate the downfall of all that is decent and civilized—just in case."

If Mr. Matthews's metanarratives were intended as a joke, Mr. Matthews forgot to include the punchline. His overbearing attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Mr. Matthews, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he plans to encourage men to leave their wives, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become the worst classes of longiloquent stirrers there are. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how my personal safety depends upon your starting to make an impartial and well-informed evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of Mr. Matthews's stratagems, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propaganda surrounding his promotion of despotism. Tell everyone you know that Mr. Matthews is environmentally favored and genetically predisposed to defacing property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols. Mr. Matthews's proxies probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, he's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, Mr. Matthews tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

Mr. Matthews may believe that he can lie with impunity. He may even have gotten away with telling more lies than we can count. But I have a practical plan for improving the state of education in this country. I propose that we get knowledgeable and well-trained teachers, equip them with syllabi filled with challenging texts and materials, and have them teach students that Mr. Matthews, already oppressive with his vexatious contrivances, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that the earth presents a wonderful example of variety in all classes of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. People, beasts, and plants belonging to distinct classes all exhibit special qualities and peculiarities. Unfortunately, Mr. Matthews's special quality is that he should not impact public policy for years to come. Not now, not ever.

Obstreperous and mutinous, Mr. Matthews's publicity stunts resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Mr. Matthews's vulgar magic-bullet explanations often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of jingoism and anti-intellectualism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain. Mr. Matthews does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. You see, if it were up to him, we'd all be grazing contentedly in the pasture of pauperism right now. We'd be utterly unaware of the fact that I've heard Mr. Matthews say that he does the things he does "for the children". Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Mr. Matthews secretly trying to make it virtually impossible to fire incompetent workers? This can be answered most easily by stating that he periodically puts up a façade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. Okay, there's no reason for me to be wanton, so I'll leave you with this concept: Mr. Chris Matthews's doctrines celebrate deception, diversion, and fashion.

Warmest Regards, Dan

And her response...

Quote:

Dear Mr Dan,
Good day to you.Well i contacted a friend in the church where i worshiped before leaving ti Paraguay and i sincerely explained everything about this project to her and she agreed to assist us.She is a lady and married to well respected man in church so i pleaded with her and she humbly agreed to help us out.The money will not be use here in Paraguay but will be used in Ghana Africa to resolve the project for the money over there.
use this name to send the money through western Union Agent please:

Receiver Name: Ofosua Wendy
Address: Accra Ghana.

And send the necessary information so that I will forward it to her to cash and use to resolve the project matter over there.
Thank and May God Bless you.
Pauline Boateng.

Unfortunately, I'm now quite frustrated with all these money transfers, can't I just wire money to your bank account? Laughing

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