The new adventures of Rushforth the lame. (Safari)

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Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:03 pm

What a tour! Facinating wild life, to-die-for scenery and touching human interest stories....

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:01 am

Me and Cry Havoc called the lad tonight just before we went to sleep. And he was to our joy getting ready for bed too, in Mundemba. This means that he not only had gotten his ass to Korup park but he was waiting to be picked up tomorrow in his hotel. Why he didn't go to the Simba hotel right away I do not know. Perhaps he didn't find it? Smile

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:49 am

How is that possible? Such a landmark...

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:14 pm

A new day for out hero and a new day of possibilities. Ok perhaps not that, but it has been an interesting day for him.

After waiting around to be picked up all morning he got a call from Ilya well after noon, and he had some bad news. Apparently the High Inquisitor had said that he is not allowed to pay Rushforth any money, only the HI himself can do that. And he is in Burkina. Something he said when he called the lad some hours later.
Here are those calls.
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/JELkK7W8/Ilya_call_lad_PM_Thursday_24_O.html?
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/mZlScrzu/HI_call_lad_07_03_PM_Thursday_.html?

Then Illya called again and said that he was going to pick the lad up. Sure he could not give the lad any cash, but he could offer him a bed, food and warming prayers. Especially the prayers should help him along.
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/6Do2RXRE/Ilya_to_the_rescue_07_11_PM_Th.html?

Now nothing could go wrong right?

WRONG!!!
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/HIrsz2cQ/car_is_broken_09_58_PM_Thursda.html?

So another day and we leave him just the way we did last night. Stredded in Korup National park along with lions, chimpanzees and probably a few spiders. Hopefully Ilya can get to him tomorrow. But that won't help much as the cash he is after is in Burkina Faso at the moment.

Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:58 pm

Damn those flux capacitors! They're always breaking! Laughing

I love your sound effects!

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

At the end of the first call DM posted above, I promised to send him an email and I did.

Ilya wrote:

Mr Rushforth,

Further to our telephone conversation just now these are the directions to the Camp.
<snipped>
Also as I mentioned the High Inquisitor himself will call you this evening. I am not sure why he has forbidden me from coming to meet you as I promised, but he said that is a matter between him and yourself that I need not know. I apologise that I am now unable to come met you in person, but you are still most welcome to come and find me.

Rushforth wrote:

Please, am sorry I did not understand what you said. I am only asking for the place where you are now so that I can meet you there on bike while I wait for Rev. Crockette.
Thanks
Rushforth.

Now how he got this bike, and whether it's a motorbike or pushbike I have no idea, but he was mobile so..

Quote:

Rushforth,

The camp is some miles beyond the entrance to the park. Find and cross the bridge, then go past the chimpanzee enclosure for another few miles. Keep going until you see the camp. I look forward to seeing you shortly.

And fresh in this morning from our hero in Korup Park

Rushforth wrote:

Please come and pick me, i dont know why you have not come since morning as you said.

please i am waiting

ETA

Ilya with bad news wrote:

Rushforth,

As I said last night despite our mechanic working all night on trying to get the car running, it is still broken down. He has replaced the flux capacitor, we fortunately had a spare, but the johnson rod is another matter entirely. It is completely bent out of shape and until the specialist arrives with the proper equipment I am unable to travel to meet you. This is completely unacceptable to myself for letting you down so badly, first with the High Inquisitor telling me not to meet and pay you, then telling me to come and collect you some hours later only for my car to break down while I try to do so. You are of course, still very welcome to come to the camp where we can at least give you a warm meal and pray together.

At this point he has a choice of continuing his fruitless search of the Park or doing what the High Inquisitor has told him to do all along. Very Happy

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 07 Oct 2010 Posts: 82

Love the sounds of the birds and the car trying to start in the background..... classic

What was that sound at the end though, was that car alarm exploding and hurting ilya?

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 21 Nov 2012 Posts: 616

not the johnson rods ! Wink

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 8:21 am

Nice job, bois! Laughing

Why we love Korup Park so much, some info. A picture of the bridge mentioned, and a map of the park with the Chimpanzee Camp marked on the map.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korup_National_Park

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

It seems Rushforth decided to spend another day in the beautiful Korup Park. Laughing

Our wandering aimlessly hero wrote:

Hello Mr Llya,
Today is making it 5days i am here in korup National Pack Mundemba, please i am starveng, suffering here now, what did you want me to do right now, Mr. Llya have not come to pick me up.

Please if by one way or the other i have wrong you please forgive me i beg, please Rev Mr Llya for the the sake of GOD help me out, see if you can come or tell Mr. Llya to come and receive me please.

I beg of you dont leave me here, as i dont have anymore monry to stay in the hotel here, or please tell him Rev Crockett to give me some money to go back.

Thanks Rushforth.
<snip> is my cameroun number please call me.

And

Subject: Mr. Llya please try try to call me or pick my calls please, i am down with thinking, why all this

Quote:

Hello Mr. Llya,
what do i do now, please when are you coming to pick me, please try to call me. Rushforth

Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:25 pm

Good old Rushforth. He is a pet for life. Let us pray for him during this difficult time (that he may generate more skulls and hats)

Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:05 pm

He sent the same letter to Bob. I was very sympathetic and said I couldn't help now as I was on a spa weekend. I also referred him to the High Inquisitor.

Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:01 pm

Quote:

Today is making it 5days i am here in korup National Pack Mundemba, please i am starveng, suffering here now

Sounds to me like he is enjoying himself. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:52 pm

This was sent to the broken leg Mr. Green

Quote:

"Dear Rushforth
I will never tolerate such behaviour from Ilya. I know he's busy with the camp and the vehicle has broken down but this is still no excuse.
I have called him today and warned him that if he can't sort you out by Tuesday, I will book a flight myself and come to Cameroon on Friday.
This whole affair is causing me a headache and I want it finished once and for all.
This is my private number ******
Please keep me updated
Be rest assured that your full compensation will be completed in 2 weeks. The High Inquisitor has been informed by this situation and he might find a solution before my arrival.
Best wishes
Rev. Andrew"

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

Sent to Ilya late last night

Quote:

Hello, i will be going to some churches tomorrow to share my problem with them so to see if they can raise transport to take me back to Nigeria. I have tried my best. I am a stranger in this land and you know what animals are doing to humans in that zone, so i can't come there alone and i don't even have money to transport myself to that place.

Please have told Rev. Andrew that i am here in Mundemba since all this while? When are you coming back to Mundemba, because i will leave on Monday, if i am assisted by the church .

Best regards,
Rushforth

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 6:57 pm

Quote:

and you know what animals are doing to humans in that zone

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

^^
I have no idea what he's referring to in that email. The park is a tourist attraction famous for it's chimpanzees and butterflies.

Afraid of the park wrote:

Hello Mr. Llya,
I WILL BE LEAVING TOMORROW MORNING SINCE NO ONE HAVE COM TO RECEIVED ME, THANKS VERY MUCH,.GOD BLESS YOU

RUSHFORTH.

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:08 pm

Maybe they are hooting at him (the chimps) and fluttering at him (the butterflies). I'd want to get the hell out of there after so many days of hooting and fluttering.

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:05 pm

I'm speechless. Why the h*ll did that idjit stay in Cameroon, when I explicitly told him that I'm in Burkina, and I have the money there?!? Laughing

That's what he gets for not listening! Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:14 pm

firehouse5 wrote:

I'd want to get the hell out of there after so many days of hooting and fluttering.

Hahaha... This made me lol! Laughing

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:20 pm

If anyone wondering what happened to Rushforth, I can tell you that he's still stuck in Mundemba Mr. Green

Quote:

Hellow Rev. Andrew,

Good morning Sir, I spoke to your Secretary yesterday and he was saying i should send an account where he will send me the money, please you know that i am a visitor here, i don't have any account here, i told him to send through MONEY GRAM, where it will be easy and fast to receive, so please kindly instructed him to send through MONEY GRAM please.

I am totally without any money here now with me, please see if it could be possible for her to send the money today.

I have not yet hear from the high inquisitor Rev. Crockett nor your personal accountant Mr. Llya, i don't understand how the high inquisitor is working like that, is this how MEN of GOD works, is it by like this he win souls for the church and for GOD. Sad

I come to ask if he is the founder of the T*** church, is this how he will be treating his followers, i am been discourage by his behavior, but i am promising you that his behaviors will not discourage me not to do the good work here for the church.

Please kindly protect the T*** church reputation and do the good work for the sake of GOD, please are you still coming to Cameroon this weekend, update me please.

Thanks and GOD bless you and your family.
Rushforth.

I asked CryHavoc why he's still in Korup National Park? He's supposed to come down and save the poor lad. This is his reply:

Quote:

I'm studying da chimps brodda. One day they'll evolve and all belong to the Church my friend.

This is absolutely unacceptable Mad

Baiting Guru Joined: 28 Feb 2013 Posts: 3152

The only unacceptable thing here is his ability to follow clear directions. Ilya told the gammy legged fool this a week ago:

Quote:

I sympathise greatly with your plight having been the one to suggest you come here, but God helps those who help themselves, you need to find us as soon as possible so we can look after you. I don't understand why you are having such difficulty finding us so I have included more directions for you to follow.

Once you have crossed the bridge and found the chimpanzee enclosure follow the trail to the left, then the next trail on the right past the batcave then the next left then the next right until you reach the camp.

Even with that broken leg of his, if he'd followed the clear directions given him, he'd have found the camp days ago.
Or he could have followed the High Inquistors clear instructions to go to Burkina Faso. Either way it isn't Ilya's fault.

Instead he's spent the last 12 days sat moping and whining in Mundemba.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:26 pm

Thanks to your concern, Cryhavoc, Rushie can now enjoy a 60k round trip stroll through the park. Perhaps an elephant in the bush will give him a lift to SSC? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:29 pm

I can't imagine a 60 km stroll on his mended leg would be easy.

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:44 pm

Have you ever wondered aloud to him about how strange it is that the Devil so often seems to thwart a man of God such as he is? In your experience it is only those whose past love of money is the root of all evil, and therefore whose lives are so susceptible to attacks of the Devil.

Perhaps he needs an exorcism? There MUST be an explanation to this terrible string of misfortune happening to a man so dedicated to the Gospel as is your lad. The Exorcism will need to be conducted first so that no demon will cross over with the transaction. Of course you can cunduct the ecorcism remotely--privided there is visual proof of the complicated and humiliating ceremony taking place and in order before witnesses.

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