Chris introduces Joy to the "Joys" of $cientology!

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Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 4:10 am

It's early days yet, but I think I may have found a new keeper. I know she hasn't read the reply I sent her, and with that in mind I think I can have a bit of fun with this one, who I found on 4ppl.com. She sends:

Quote:

Handson,

How are u doing? Am Joy's Willy, 37yrs old woman, from New York City Am single, and easy going woman, sincere, loyal, smart, honestly, faithful and trustworthy. i love swimming, playing tennis, outdoors activities like camping, hunting and fishing. Am brought up in Christian family...I have, and i travel for contracts no Job , am currently in UK to supply ...Am cool to heart and you will enjoy me when you really understand my kind of person...i am a responsible woman with a pure Christian background..and i love kids too though i'm single and also willing to relocate if i found my match ...i am willing to meet you cos i went through your profile and find what you put there is very interesting and all i have to ask from you is...do you really mean all you said on your profile cos i love my partner to be extremely truthful and honest person...loving and caring to heart,understanding,purely matured...and ever willing to take each other for the way we are and help build our future. to be really sincere from my heart you are very handson and good looking man ...why don't you give me a message on my yahoo chat id at ...(snipped) and lets get to know more of each other and explore the best of ourselves...i will be dying to see you write back to me.my email address is <snipped, but not even close to the name she's given herself>
sweet smiles from,

Joy's Willy

Being 4 ppl.com, I have serious doubts she's from anywhere but scammerland. But I have to give her the benefit of the doubt. I fire this back:

Quote:

as a devotee of Alistair Crowley, my views on religion would be incompatible with yours.

I wish you well on your search

Chris

Of COURSE, Joy completely disregards the email in it's entirety:

Quote:

My dear,
you are good looking alright. write me on my box <snipped> to tell me more about You and ur country , work , academics your family and your religion.
I am looking forward hearing 4m u
From Jo's willy

Now she's already stopped using the name joy and is now calling herself Ann. I send this back:

Quote:

Hi Ann,

How's the weather in New York? Here in Melbourne Australia, the weather is gorgeous, nice and warm, perfect for us practicing the religion of Thelema. As I mentioned I am a follower of the great Aleister Crowley, who's views of religion I'm sure you'll agree will correspond with your own.

I work in Melbourne as an IT consultant for , a company based in Sydney, but with offices all over Australia. I used to be the lead singer for a heavy metal band, but I left them back in 2006 to study IT, though the royalties from my songwriting have left me with a nice bank balance. I have also just put down the deposit on an apartment here in the CBD. It's small, but it's mine and right in the centre of the city.

It's SUCH a nice day, I think, I'll skip lunch, head down to the botannical Gardens and study our bible, "The book of the law".

Chris

In RL, I know diddly squat about Aleister Crowley, except for the section that relates to L Ron Hubbard (who I will SOMEHOW work into the bait)! But I'm thinking the possibilities for wacky baiting are just too good to pass up. I will keep y'all posted. Here's hoping for a great bait!

Chrys

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 83

Hehe.....Joy's Willy....that would make a great name for a male scammer. Too bad this one is portraying himself as a female. Laughing

The problem would be that it would indicate that his "willy" already belongs to another (to "Joy") but logic seems to play no role in their name selections....so it probably would be of no consequence.

Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:48 am

@ Dina: If you can work it into a bait, feel free to use it.

In the meantime, I get this back. Unsurprisingly, it's not from New York:

Quote:

Hello Chris,

How are you doing, i hope all is fine and ok, i am very happy to read your mail,woh it is good to hear that you also sing, so that means when i see you , you are definately going to sing for me.
I am a down to heart lady, caring and honest, and i think you are just the perfect man i have being waiting for all this while, it is really a pleasure reading your mail, and i hope we keep this for the better future, and it is also good to hear that you are a GOD fearing person.

I will really like for us to meet and get to know each other better, take care of yourself, and i will be expecting to hear from you soon.

Love from,
Ann.

I LOVE how she's calling herself Ann, yet her email addy is . Yep this one's a keeper. Since I know so little about Aleister Crowley, I think it'll soon be time to admit to being a Scientologist Wink

will keep y'all posted

ipTRACKERonline.com wrote:

Header Analysis Quick Report
Originating IP: 41.203.64.253
Originating ISP: Globacom Ltd
City: n/a
Country of Origin: Nigeria

Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:24 pm

Nice one Chrys! If you're going L Ron Hubbard on her ass make sure (as someone who has previously stated she'd like to have children) that she knows she'll have to keep her mouth shut!

Love Phil X

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:26 am

I'd forgotten to mention she sent me three picture of "herself", all with the name of the original photographer and copyright date. Naturally I love them, bolding and comments are mine:

Quote:

Hi Ann,

Thank you for the pictures you are very attractive if I may say so (Actually whoever the chick in the pics is, IS attractive, but clearly not 37, like profile claims to be). .I have a picture of myself (OF Aussie rock legend Angry Anderson) also...

Yes I am happy to sing for you, though I don't do it as much as when I was in the band. We actually played the United states a few times back in my 20's.

(I decided that since I really don't know that much about Mr Crowley, it's time to wander into $cieno territory. I'll be raiding THIS section of "The Bare faced Messiah" by Russell Miller. Naturally, in RL I have it in hardback: http://www.clambake.org/archive/books/bfm/bfm07.htm)

My neighbour Jack Parsons and I have been working hard for our local church, raising awareness of our church leader, local minister Aleister Crowley (he's SUCH a nice guy) and funds for the church. We have a new recruit to our church Ron, a man who can talk his way into just about anything but so far seems pretty good.

I'll keep you posted on what's happening here in Melbourne

Chris

It's SO nice to be among friends Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:37 am

Seems Joy's willy is a tad confused:

Quote:

My dear,

Thanks for your complimenting me,I am happy for your mail.I am really interested on your facts but the problem is that i do not understand what you are saying concerning the church you are runing with your friend, are you saying that you and your friend are doing everything together to raise fund for the church.

I reall appreciated your compliment and i wish i am there with you.take good care of yourself and looking forward to hear from .
Ann

SHE'S confused? I'm typing this crap and I'M confused! Later tonight, time to admit to being a $cientologist

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:51 am

Well she's bound to be impressed that you once met Tom Cruise, surely? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:07 pm

@ Phil: Let's find out! I send her this under the heading of "It's time to come clean". Bolding and comments are mine

Quote:

Hi Ann,

I've been putting this off, because people can be SO intolerant when it comes to our religion. I tried to pretend that I was in fact from a different religion, because I REALLY want this to work! It killed me inside that I couldn't be totally honest with you about something this personal, so I have decided to tell you outright.

The real reason I left the heavy metal band was that I became a devout Scientologist. I had been a severe party animal, drinking, partying and taking drugs and one night, and while on tour with my band, I drove from Florida to California for 18 hours straight on Red Bennies (According to a 1987 book, L. Ron Hubbard Jr actually did this first part, though he didn't crash into anything) . I drove so fast and erratically that I almost hit another car, and the drugs didn't wear off until well after the day. I was almost speaking in tongues, talking about Clams and Lockjaw (Which L Ron wrote down word for word and late appeared in one of their shitty manuals). and when I finally came down off the bennies I was in jail, with NO memory of the crime I had committed.

I discovered Narconon a few weeks later and joined straight away, and have been off drugs now for seven years. There, it is out in the open now. People are so hurtful when it comes to Scientology, they can be so intolerant even though some of the nicest people on the planet are Scientologists, like as I sure you know John Travolta and Tom Cruise (Who I had the pleasure of meeting a few years back). Jack is the friend who introduced me to Narconon and we spend a lot of time together now (in a platonic, non homosexual way of course).

Dear dear Ann, forgive for this, I don't want to lose you but my inner thetans can no longer hide who I am. I reached the state of clear back in 2005 and am currently at the level of OT II.

I hope you will write back

Chris

Let's see if she bites Wink

Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:19 pm

Seems Joy's willy doesn't mind me being $cieno scum:

Quote:

Hello love,

I am sorry to hear that you went through all of that in life, i know it must be tough to went through this kind of experience.

But thank God that you are a different person now compared to whay you said you use to be, even with all what you have told me about you, it makes me feel more in love with you, i know what it is for someone to go through such situations in life.

Honey i just want you to know that God has something good for the both of us, so let just believed that this relationship will last forever.
I love you and i am always thinking about you.

Please take care of yourself and i will be expecting to hear from you soon.

Love from,
Ann.

Will edit in a reply (and send her the way cool pic Phil Yerboots made for me) when I think of one. ETA: Turns out $cientology have been busy in Ghana (or so their own website says at any rate. would it be mean to try convert her?). I send this back:

Quote:

Hi Ann,

It was wonderful to hear from you, to be honest I was worried you wouldn't write back, as I said some people can be very intolerant when it comes to Scientology. I'm so glad you're not like everyone else. I am still learning, so I cannot remove your thetans just yet but I am almost OT III. I have attached the pic of myself and Jack meeting with Tom Cruise last year (I am in the middle).

I find my beingness is complete now, I am falling for you in ways I would not have expected. Have you ever red Dianetics?

Chris

Big ups to Phil Yerboots for the awesome photochop Thumbs up

ETA: here's the awesome work Phil did for Chris

I'm impressed Smile

Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:21 pm

Seems Joy's willy LOVED Phil Yerboot's Photochop! And why not, it is awesome:

Quote:

Hello honey,

How are you doing my love,it is ok my love, you know how much i love you, so there is notting that can come between the both of us.

Woh i love the picture you sent to me , it a very lovely pic,i will love to be with you soon my love because i am missing you crazy my love.
You are always in my heart because i think of you all the time.

Please take care of yourself, i will be expecting to hear from you soon my love.

Love from,
Ann.

will edit in a reply when I think of one

Quote:

My dearest Ann,

I had a big win with excitement over your latest note. My engrams shot through the roof with joy, my ethics are positive. Oh Ann, I am beside myself with joy, not only did I get your wonderful note, but we also have a new church not too far from the city where I live. It was opened by the Lord Mayor on the weekend, and while I will miss the old church, in the city close to where I live, it IS a bit enturbulating to have to go to Ascot vale. But I would love to show it to you, it is a beautiful building with a lot of history fully restored to it's former glory by the church, hopefully one day I can show it to you.

Chris

In RL, Melbourne DOES have a new $cieno home. The Lord Mayor DID open it and has copped a bit of flak from the Premier who says he shouldn't have opened it. Who knew our new premier had common sense??? Shocked

edited to add: Phil did a second photochop, where he chopped the $cieno logo onto chris's arm. It gives me a brainwave, time to get creepy on her ass:

Quote:

My dear Ann,

A thought has just occurred to me. You haven't mentioned what religion you are! As a Scientologist, I am aware of other religions of course, but have dedicated myself to the teachings of L Ron Hubbard. I even have a scientology cross tattoed onto my arm! Do you like it,? I have attached a picture of it for you to see.

Would you consider becoming a member?

Chris

Let's see what she makes of THAT! Shocked

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:12 am

I get this back:

Quote:

Hello love,

How are you doing today my love, i have told you that i am catholic, well bought up in a christain family, i saw the picture you sent to me, i think i love the design of the tatoo, how doest it feel when drawing the tatoo, i hope it is not painful.

Concerning the question you ask me that, if i will love to be a member, first you have to tell more about this scientology before i will decide maybe to join it.

Anyway i just want you to know that i am missing you crazy my love and i wish to be with you soon.

I will be expecting to hear from you soon.

Love from,
Ann

I am seriously struggling with the urge to make ladette join for real. I can be mean sometimes but that would torturous (and slightly hypocritical)! In the meantime, I can pull her up on the fact she's "from New York". Thoughts?

eta: I send this back:

Quote:

My darling Ann,

The tattoo was painful , but not too painful, and as you can see, I've had plenty of experience in getting tattoos (lol).

As for the Church, there is one in Manhattan, hopefully that's not too far from you. Why not go check it out. You CAN be a Scientologist AND a catholic too. Nicole Kidman remained a catholic while being married to Tom Cruise.

I will tell you more soon

I think I'm gonna drop this one. As tempting as it is to convert her to a real cult, I'm not a big enough asshole to actually do it. This is probably the last update on Joy's willy, but that's okay, it's time the Ditz and her psychotic niece re-entered the baiting world anyhoo

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:31 am

Dude, a giant thumbs up Very Happy

Oh, by the way: they're gonna sue you, you know that Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:23 pm

They're gonna sue me... in ENGLAND!

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 1:48 pm

Better yet.... in GERMANY! Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:09 pm

I would dearly LOVE to get to Germany. If the $cienos wanna fund my trip to Germany so they can sure me, all the better Wink

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:11 pm

Joy's willy sends this back:

Quote:

Hello honey,

Thanks for your response,well maybe when we are finally being together, then i can join the Scientologist, but what just matter to me most, is to be with you my love.

I want you to know that i am always thinking about you and i wish to be with you soon.

Please take care of yourself and stay bless honey, i will be expecting to hear from you soon.
Love from,
Ann

I won't be responding

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